Does Your Husband Make a Habit of Forgetting Practically Everything You Discuss?

I've realized that if I'm not naked, he only sees and hears Charlie Brown's teacher....."baahk baahhh baaaaah"

Acceptence is a beautiful thing!

Shaorn

When I tell my husband something for the third time, it is news to him! It wouldn't bother me if he gave cues that he wasn't listening, but as you said, he is giving every indication he heard me!

He asked the boys 'is that fair'?

Wow. There would have been a whole other conversation after that. "Fair" or not, that was a really low-blow and the whole affair is none of their business. If you've been clear with him that you aren't interested in the extra work, stick to what you've said. Explain to him that if *he* thinks it's so important, he can take the time off work to do the extra.

Wow. From your last question, too, it sounds like you need to have a serious "here's what's up" conversation with your guy. Sounds like you are operating from different pages. Maybe write down what you agree to, on paper, so that you have a document to refer back to when the question comes up again.

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If the TV is on, it could be on sports, an infomercial, or even a commercial for Barbies, my husband will not remember a word I've said. If the TV is off, he remembers everything. Now that I've figured that out, I only tell him things that I need him to remember when the TV is off. :)

Then tell your Husband, HE can host this child.
And do everything.

And meanwhile, you will be doing your own thing... having a respite. Then you go and make plans for yourself. Or even go somewhere.

But, your Husband has long hours and is rarely at home.
So, does he not see, this is NOT feasible? Not sane? Not something you want to do? It is not a 'vacation' for you... which you dearly need, this summer.

Him asking your boys that and making you the 'bad guy' in it, in front of you... is real, not nice.
He was making you out to be a 'meanie.'

Tell your Husband: to take his vacation time then, at this time, IF he insists on hosting this child. Has he taken his annual vacation, yet?? If not, then he should use it for this purpose. 2 weeks vacation is typical for employees. Tell him, he can be responsible, for that.

This needs to be a "joint" decision.

To All the other responses here, high five!

Your Husband, is acting like a child.
And if I may say so, I would be IRKED at him, too.
Especially since, he is NOT home hardly and works long hours. What does he get out of it? He is not there, is not involved in hosting this child... DAILY. You will be.
So how is this, an "experience" for him?

Answer to your post: YES everything.

No, mine does not. I'm the one that forgets and looks at him like he has two heads when he tells me he told me before. My husband is forever saying things like, 'I told you that yesterday!" My answer is what was I doing? Usually, my at home job. I always apologize because when I am focused on work, I'm really good at not hearing people but appearing like I am listening.

I agree with the other poster that said it was passive-aggressive of your husband to bring it up in front of the kids and include them in the decision. Time to talk to your husband one on one and alone. Good luck.

Well it's nice to hear that I am not alone. My husband forgets things I discuss and is very inconsiderate of my feelings. I just tell him how I feel regarding that and I hope that he thinks it's important to work on it. He improves here and there but for the most part it's a struggle. Sometimes I just blow it off and sometimes I get angry and fight about it. I guess just choose your battles. Good luck and I hope it improves for you:)

Yes, since we were 13, we are now 50. He has terrible ADHD. I like to say our daughter saved my sanity.

He always said "You never told me that." "I know you did not tell me that."
"I never heard you say that."

I would turn to our 2 year old and ask. "I am not going to get mad at dad, but did I tell him we were going to grandmas house tomorrow?"
"Did I tell dad, I had to work late all this week?" "Did I tell dad the car needs gasoline?"

She ALWAYS said "yes" And then proceed to tell exactly where we were, what day and what we were doing while we spoke about it. Many times, she even could repeat my husbands responses to my information! I loved it. I honestly never got mad again, because I JUST wanted validation and know I was not losing my mind,

I now verbally tell him, email him and PM him on FB. I also have a calendar in the bathroom and leave post it notes on the mirror with reminders leading up to events. .. As he gets older it gets worse..

Your husband works a lot, he is not concentrating on what you say. You need to insert the word BOOBS, I have discovered my husband will perk up and all of a sudden have interest.

You come up with some crazy words to insert to test if he is paying attention.

Yup, my husband did that all the time, now he's my ex.

I am so sorry...I think I would have lost it if my SO had brought up a topic he and I had discussed and acted as if the children had a "say so" in the situation.

This is also typical at my house...we will have a long discussion, I will think that my points were valid and that my SO actually heard me...and then the next day we are back to square one...case in point, our looming electric bill, we agreed in conversation that on Monday ( this past Monday) we would both pay $200 a piece towards the bill...I paid my $200 and he has not paid a dime...that and he also did not spend any money at the grocery store this past week ( and we usually go weekly)
Ugh...all I can say is I feel your pain...hopefully this is not a "deal breaker" for you....I am thinking in my case "our" days may be numbered, because I just personally can not continue "not being heard or respected"
I think everyone has their breaking point.
In your case I think I would have said that yourself and your spouse needed to be excused from the dinner table to talk in private for a moment...and then chewed him out.
Good luck!!!

I think it is in there genes... I dont know if my husband just tunes me out, doesnt pay attention or doesnt care enough about what im saying to listen. Case in point last week he was leaving work the same time I was. So I asked him to pick up the kids from daycare, I let the sitter know he was going to get the kids. I decided since I had the time I would go get groceries before I went home. Around 530 the daycare called me ( I usually pick kids up at 5) and said my husband never showed up and she wanted to make sure all was ok. So I call him, he is at home and he tells me that I didnt tell him to get the kids.... grrrr. But yet he can tell me everything that was on sports center 2 days ago!

Oh... I would have totally lost it if he did that to me. It would have started like this: FAIR? Excuse me?! Mr. I'm never home!!
I would have told him that if he wants this extra kid, then he had best plan his vacation time for that entire week. He would be doing all the cooking, cleaning, extra trips, laundry, and entertaining because I would be elsewhere.
No extra kid. Period.
End of subject.
LBC

Ugh! I'm pretty sure the male-selective-hearing thing they have going on is a contributor, but my husband is the same way. Its like living with two toddlers, sigh.

constant.repetition.help.me.please

Oh YES. I can tell my husband that I am doing something at lunch time and when he complains he tried to call me at work I tell him and he does not remember that at all. The other day I needed to return a rental car by 6. I called him at 4:30 and told him he had to be home in time so I could return it. at 5:30 he knew nothing about it. It was not even a few days inbetween. He does this ALL the time.
We have the structural ultrasound scheduled for 2 weeks from now and if he forgets that.....

Hi C.:

It doesn't matter whether he remembers or not.
You make the decision that you need a vacation
this summer.

The child is not coming.
End of story.
Let him forget or not forget. That is his problem not yours.
D.