Done with Food Battles

My kids are 12 and 9 and both of them tried this ONCE. I did the same thing, you eat whats in front of you or you eat nothing. Both of them said nothing and that's what they got until breakfast. Mine didn't even get an apple or pear! They FELT what it was like to be hungry and they were SO happy for breakfast and I NEVER had another problem with them at dinner. And once after that my son what just being HORRIBLE and I told him if he kept it up, he was not going to get dinner but crackers (saltines) and water instead. He though I was b.sing him so he kept at it. Not only did he get crackers and water, but he went to BED early too. He never did that again either and even now, all I have to say is "if you don't stop, you will be having crackers and water for dinner" and he shapes right up. So I think you are being nice with the fruit but I hope it works out for you as it did for me. Good luck!

No, you aren't. If you stick to the plan, he will eventually eat.

The one thing I will say is not to argue with him about the food. Call him to the table, get him there, and then if he doesn't eat, let it go, but no food afterwards except maybe that piece of fruit. (I wouldn't have given the fruit, but you're nicer than me!)

Keep dinner a happy event without stress. Then it's easier for a child to want to eat with the family and not dig their heels in.

Good luck!
Dawn

Bravo! I'm actually very strict about this- the rule in my house is you eat what you're given or don't eat at all. I can't count the number of times my daughter has gone to bed without dinner...
She hasn't starved yet. And we're finally getting past that stage and she's actually starting to try the foods she previously snubbed.
So be strong! Be consistent! This too shall pass.
Good luck. :-)

I'd make him go to bed without. So you are not as mean as me.

No, actually you are being quite nice about offering him the fruit as an option.

When my kids were little, they didn't have to eat the meal I prepared... but they well knew that they wouldn't get ANYTHING to eat until the next meal. They did NOT have the option of a snack, or a second chance at the meal they already refused. They just didn't get anything until the next meal.

Needless to say, they were all eager and adventurous eaters.

There were a few items I didn't make them eat, like sauerkraut (they all love it, oddly enough), and things like stewed tomatoes.. but I did cook with tomatoes in casseroles, soups, and stuff like that.

My kids are now 29, 27, 25, and 20... and the youngest wants to go to culinary school to become a chef!

Yup, so mean! Just like I am so mean for inforceing bedtimes, making my kids do chores and "imprisoning" my kids in their car seats... So mean....

Well, I would have at least offered him his leftover dinner. I hate, and simply cannot afford, food waste. When my grandson does overnights, I usually eat whatever he didn't finish the next day, because his appetite can fluctuate a great deal from one meal or one day to the next.

I'm just a bit worried about that apple, though. It's healthy, but for some metabolisms, an apple or other fruit will spike the blood sugar then give a quick let-down, resulting in miserable hunger. (Adding a wedge of cheese or some nuts would be more likely to keep him from having hunger pangs in the middle of the night.) I'm one of those lucky people – fruit has always made me hungry. I have in my later years developed diabetes, and my doctor tells me that my sugar reaction was probably an early indicator.

You know, rather than waiting for this pattern to happen during the meal, I'd have a sit-down chat with my son earlier in the day, tell him what the consequences of not eating dinner will be, and tell him it is his choice whether to eat his meal or settle for the consequences. This worked very well with my daughter on all sorts of issues.

You are doing GREAT! Keep up the good work/parenting.

Blessings...

I think you are doing the right thing. You are actually much nicer than I am. I would not give him anything until the next meal time. Children need boundaries and until they get them they will continue to push and push. Keep up the good work.

So why couldn't he eat the dinner you made him later on? Why did you throw out his dinner? I agree that he can't eat treats from his snack bag but why did you throw out his dinner? Maybe he wasn't hungry at the time you were...and you say this happens at the end of the week. Maybe the kid is tired. He is 5 and not 12. So many moms like to be the tough guy. I hardly see how having a young child be in carseat is the same as not allowing them to have a reasonable dinner.

T.
I comend you for your line.... in todays world many times, a line drawn for children is viewed as harsh or mean. I don't believe that to be true....as a mother, daughter & teacher for 8yrs now...childern need lines drawn & they NEED to know what to expect if they cross that line. You kindly gave the option of fruit, (I do this same thing w/my child daily)...you are a great mom in my book!!! Press on, what you are teaching is helpful for the rest of their lives!! Life has lines/boundries in ALL that we do...so you are teaching a very important skill. Learning to live w/in our boundries is awesome!!!! God Bless you...J. j

no, not mean. You are being a good parent and teaching him about consequences (a leason sooooo many kids don't get). Stick to your guns and remember "never lose any battle with your child".

I always have peanut butter, jelly, cereal and milk in the house. Years ago my son learned if he did not want to eat what I prepared for dinner that these were his options. If he opted out of dinner he was not allowed snacks or junk or sweets. He can always have unlimited amounts of fruit.

At 15 now, he has eaten a lot of PBJ sandwiches. LOL

He has recently discovered the ease of Jiffy cornbread and makes that at least once a week now also.

You are not being a mean Mommy - kids go through this and if we don't set some boundaries early we wind up being short order cooks.

In our house, before bedtime our kids often get a healthy snack ( no artificial sugar, fruit or cracker type items). If they absolutely refuse dinner, I put their plate in the microwave for safe keeping. If they get hungry, they have to first finish a good portion of their dinner before their night time snack. I don't agree with absolutely NO food. Sometimes, even as an adult, I am not hungry at certain times. We certainly don't let them get this option easily, and really try to get them to eat at mealtime...but on those few occasions, saving the dinner seems to work well. My kids are quite small, and have both had weight issues, so that is probably why completely taking all food away sounds like a terrible option.

Fair! I actually got this idea from a momma here. If my kids don't want (or don't eat) dinner, they can have a pb and j, a bowl of cereal, or fruit (without the fruit dip that I make for dessert) and veggies and NO dessert.

I refuse to let them totally starve but I won't let them sugar snack either!

I think you are being fair. I also think you have started a good option too! Food and dinner time is not a battle ground. He now knows your rule.. Eat dinner or you can have an apple or a pear instead. No other snacks or treats for the night.

In our house once our daughter was older about 5th grade.. I made a rule, if you did not want what had been prepared for dinner, you could make your own bowl of non sugar cereal.. No comments. I did this because once I had planned, shopped, prepped and then cooked the meal I am the one that did not want the meal being served..

We congratulated our daughter when she tried new or unusual foods. She is now way more adventurous than we ever expected.

I have not read the other responces or your other post, but no you are not a mean mommy I do the same thing my children have 30 minutes to eat if they start out complaining or refusing to eat, after that then there is nothing, well maybe a peanut buter toast but thats about it, we have said the same thing, if you dont want whats fixed then you can do without. Eventually the kids learn as long as you stay consistant. good luck

You know what...you are being a Mom tough as it maybe. Kiss and hugs goodnight. Mean NO WAY!

You were nice to let him have anything at all :). This is a fun age and they have to learn. I will sometimes leave their plate out for a bit, but not normally. I do the dishes and then the kitchen is CLOSED. No snacks or treats or anything else at all. Way to go!

nope. and you should not have given him any fruit either. now he knows that if he doesnt want to eat what you make for dinner all he has to do is throw a fit and have a tantrum and you will eventually give him something sweet to eat. I would have picked him up, brushed teeth, washed face and hands, put on jammies and into bed he would have went. we dont play games like that here, and my oldest is 2 1/2. He knows that if he doesnt eat dinner he gets no snacks at all. He will go to bed hungry. May sound mean and abusive to some, but this only had to happen 2 times before he figured out we meant business. he may not eat every single bite, but he does eat his dinner.

Spark People's 10 Commandments of Healthy Eating for Parents is what's posted on our fridge and what I TRY to follow. I would probably have given him some peanut butter or some cheese to go with his fruit-- once he's in bed you want him to stay there, not wake you up because he's hungry!

http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.as...

Is it bedtime yet??!! I think you all need a good night's sleep.

Good luck and best wishes at starting fresh tomorrow and having a better day!

A pediatric dietician came and spoke to my moms group. Of course, this is a problem with most moms & we asked her about it. The dietician said that if the child refuses to eat a meal. Let the child skip the meal. She said that most children's bodies tell them what they need IF we keep them on a regular eating shcedule. The childs next eating time should be snack time. However, snack time should always be at least two hours after meal time & healthy, of course. She said this timing will help them regulate to eating at meal time as well.
It's tough to do. Especially at dinner time when bed time is coming up soon after. I've had to move dinner back to 5pm (Only because my 3year old daughter is in bed by 7:15 since dropping her nap) I can only wait about an hour and a half after dinner if I'm going to make sure she gets an apple with peanut butter before bed. The two hours would be too close to bed time for her.
So, it sounds like you're not mean at all. It sounds like you're doing an awesome job. :)

I always said it was my job to make dinner, and theirs to eat it. But, we always had a bedtime snack with protein, peanut butter, cheese, etc. Going to bed hungry is not a good idea, it does not make for good sleep.

I would have offered peanut butter to dip the apple slices in and that would have covered it.