Don't Know How to Make the School Listen!

From the perspective of a teacher, it seems the school has a really poor attitude about that. I know sometimes with all the kids you have to deal with it is hard to focus on one student, but they need to try, and it sounds to me like they aren't even willing to try. Do you have the option of looking into other schools that would be more helpful? I taught at a charter school and really liked my experience there. They don't usually cost anymore than public schools because they are public too, just able to be more flexible and have less students.

I'll start by saying that I have no idea what I'm talking about, because my kids haven't started school yet. But i've been looking into them and calling the school district, and something you said rung a bell. The lady I talked to said that if a parent wants to have their child tested, they have to test. This was for a different sort of thing, but it seems like they should test if a parent has a legitimate concern.
Maybe you need to call up the school district. Be nice and ask them what their policy is about testing for learning disabilities. They may be able to help you, but even if they don't, you'll be armed with knowledge when you go talk to the school again.
Good luck!

HI, J.,
what you need is an advocate to help you work with the school to get the services your son needs. What school district are you in? I am a professional family advocate and do this work in my practice every day. You can also find advocates through Peak Parent Center in Colorado www.peakparent.org or through the local chapter of ARC in your community regardless of what state you live in.
by the way it is a 504 plan, not a 405, and you can get all the correct info on that at www.wrightslaw.com. The VP at your school is blowing you off and it certainly sounds like your son might qualify for services. Feel free to email me directly and I'll help you get connected with someone in your community.

take care, S.

I am sorry that you feel so frustrated. First of all you need to go with your feelings as a mom. I have had a child who struggled through school for many years. I had suspected that there were some learning disabilities and started my plight with the school. Originally I came in with the attitude that I wanted to do what was best for my son and I was very careful to not make predetermined choices without finding out all of the ramifications. I sat throuh many meeting with administration and carefully listened to all sides, keeping records from each meeting. We then had to move and I brought this up at his new school. He was only there for about four months and his teacher wanted to wait on the testing. We did see some improvements in his performance and he was finally working at grade level on his homework. His new school had considerably less homework that they sent home and he was in a totally computerized classroom. When he got into fifth grade I still noticed that there were issues. I found that when I read information to him he could very quickly decide what to do but if he had to read a question he struggled to process the information. I decided that I would push to have him tested. I approached the front office with all of my paperwork and met with the school principal. His teacher was actually fired because he was not keeping up with his job. There were many issues not just the ignoring of the testing of my son. After meeting with the principal I had an agreement from the school to have him tested. The process took a while and after 2 IEP meetings we had some stuff in writing. He came very close to qualifying for special ed, a matter of two points but I did have some concerns about special ed for him because we were making improvements from his IEP plan and I wanted to make sure that he would continued to be challenged as I was afraid if the work was made too easy for him he would become lazy and not try. The testing showed a processing disorder with a possible link to dyslexia. I did choose a 504 for him but I will warn you that unless you are going to be his advocate this may not be the best for your son. A 504 gives your child special rights; it is a civil right action and once it is in writing it is law. A teacher must follow the guidelines that are written in a 504 even if they disagree with it. It is your job to enforce the 504 and make sure your child is getting what was agreed to. The other trick is that a 504 has to be based off of a medical finding so it could cost money out of your pocket to prove that there is a medical reason to have the 504. You can use the testing as part of the documentation. I did take my child to an occupational therapist, which I found through the health department in our city who also documented what the district psychologist had found. In addition I had to take him to an opthalmologist who found that the nerves in the back of his eyes were smaller than normal and wants to watch him for glaucoma. This is how I obtained my 504. We had medical findings that helped to document a visual processing disorder. In his 504 he has the right to have his tests read to him, he can use books on tape to go along with his book in reading class, his writing is limited to fill in the blank, and he is given additional time to complete assignments. I have to work closely with his school and he has a mentor that follows his progress and keeps me informed of any problems. His school has been very supportive and my son has started to take more initiative in his work as I encourage him to do what he can. We have also purchased a computer to help him as he gets older along with software to help him with the writing process. An occupational therapist was a huge help as she also referred him to other doctors based off of the information that we had given her. You may want to check with your city or state to see if they have services to help pay for some of these visits. I would also go to your state of education website and search what exactly a 504 is. The more informed you are of your rights the more the school will have to listen. Also if you write a letter and send it to the school they have to test your child or there could be legal ramifications. If your school will not work for you I would go to the superintendent and if that doesn't work I would contact a lawyer. Good luck in your pursuit. It is a lot of work but I have found that my son has significantly benefited and will be prepared for what is to come.

J.,

Wow! First thing ... call the principal and get that child on the field trip! Don't even consider taking no for an answer ... go the superintendent or whoever you need to. It will finally expose the VP for the jerk he is. Second, insist on an IEP. Yes, it will put it in writing and hold the school accountable. My guess is that is what the VP doesn't want. A GOOD school will work with you as a parent for the BENEFIT of the child.

You can go the Board of Education, the State Dept. of Education, etc., etc. but if you take a firm stand with the principal, I doubt that it will be necessary.

Lastly, and PLEASE, PLEASE do this, document everything. I mean every conversation date, with whom, what was discussed, whether in person or on the phone. Bring a note pad to any/every meeting so they know you are doing it. I'm sorry to say, but this is the way to get their attention and get your child what he needs.

Bless you & hang in there!
L.

Hi J.,
It can be a long and frustrating road but hang in there. After about 6 months my daughter finally has her IEP in place and it's made a huge difference. Grades are not indicative of a learning disability. There are many very bright kiddos who compensate and get average grades, just like there are many kiddos who struggle and barely pass. Have you spoken with your pediatrician? Children's Hospital offers diagnostic testing. Other agencies might offer testing as well depending on where you live. Check with your insurance company too as to what they'll cover. Also, make a written request (cc counselor, teacher, principal, school's and district's learning specialist, and superintendent) for testing through the school. That way everyone is on board and aware of the situation. Be aware Children's may offer different tests with possibly different results than what the school will offer. Children's may be the way to go since their testing is usually more comprehensive. Once you have the results, then work to get either an IEP or 504 in place. (Usually a school is reluctant to put a kiddo on an IEP unless they have not met their academic goals two years in a row.) In the meantime, since your son's teacher is sending home packets - just take one assignment at a time and break that down to specific tasks within each assignment. Offer rewards and encouragement for each task completed within each assignment. Try smaller increments of study too. It will probably help to have 3 twenty-minute study sessions rather than one long hour session. Good luck!

J. - If you want your son tested, legally they must test. If I were in your shoes....Write a letter to the VP requesting that your son be tested and what your concerns are. Mention your counselor's thoughts, too. Send the letter certified mail or hand deliver to the VP. I would make an additional copy for the Special Ed/Special Services Director and send to them. If you have an attorney, send a copy to them also. (cc: it and watch people jump.:) I think the law is that the school has 45 days until they have to BEGIN testing. (Not have completed the testing.) Don't appear frustrated, be matter of fact, and kind.:) You're not alone. I would love to hear how this turns out. Please contact me if you have any questions. Kimberly is a small district so make sure the kindness is apparent, especially with two others following his footsteps with the same teachers/administration. Good Luck!!

I'm editing my response to emphasize to put the request in writing. Legally, they have to do it and emotion is out of it. You are your son's advocate, stay confident.:)

Oh, do I know where you are coming from, and what frustrations you are experiencing. First of all, make a request to the school in writing to have your son tested. I can't remember how long they have to compete the testing,(I think 45 school days) but they do have a time limit. Then they have the same length of time to assemble the results and go over them with you. From my experience, the testing that the schools do is more of a screening than for actual diagnosis. Our school found nothing wrong with our daughter and I took her to Children's Hospital Learning Services and they found a number of things wrong and that is how we got her on a 504. A 504 does put the accommodations in writing (what the vice principal told you) that the teacher/school has to follow. It is however a legally binding document and will follow your child into college if necessary. It is updated and reviewed every year, and you are a part of the team that writes the accommodations. If you don't like something that the school wants to include, say so and they can't include it and if you want something included that they aren't going to include, insist that it be included. (we insisted that our daughter not be graded on spelling in anything but spelling because it was testing her spelling and not her knowledge of the subject) It doesn't give your child an advantage over the other students, but levels the playing field. (seating arrangements, study guides, oral testing...all individualized for your child) Here is a website that I recommend to everyone who suspects their child has a LD. greatschools.net Use their search engine and research 504's, LD's etc. and the site will be able to help. What the school is doing is undermining his self esteem and this is exactly what he doesn't need. We ended up taking our daughter to LearningRx for cognitive rehabilitation. She is dyslexic, has slow processing speed and low phoenimic awareness. It was expensive but very worth the time involved and the expense. If you don't have any success with the school, go above them and go to the district and even the State Education Board. His counselor may also be qualified to do more difinitive testing and be able to help you advocate for your child. If you need to consider changing schools. That is what we did because we had a teacher who refused to follow the 504 and an administration that wouldn't make her do her job. Our new school has bent over backwards to help our daughter be successful in the classroom. She is making all A's and B's and I'm not teaching her for 3 hours every night (what she wasn't getting at school) and she is doing it all on her own. We did end up having her repeat 5th grade when whe changed schools...the best thing that we could have done. She was always one of the youngest before and now is one of the older kids and the extra year of maturity really helped her. Her self confidence has greatly improved and she is finally thriving in her learning environment. I tried for 3 years to get the school to recognize that our daughter had a LD and they either wouldn't listen, recognize it, or their tests didn't reveal it. Don't give up, you know your child better than the so called "education experts" and you are his best advocate. J.

PS He doesn't need any more humiliation from his classmates/teacher/school, let him stay home on Friday.

J.,

1) I don't know which state you live in but each state has a Parent Training Information Center that can provide information about your son and educational services. If you go to http://www.taalliance.org/ Technical Assistance Alliance for Parent Centers they will give you the location of the local parent center.

Good websites to check out.
Learning Disabilities Association of America http://www.ldaameric.org/
http://www.ncld.org/
http://www.ldonline.org/
http://www.chadd.org/

2) Specific Learning Disabilities are basic psychological (brain) processes involved in understanding or in using spoken or written language, that may manifest itself in the imperfect ability to listen, think, speak, read, write, spell, or do matematical calculations. The child is normal looking and has an average to above average I.Q., yet they struggle to keep up with their peers in school. They may also have problems with fine and gross motor skills or social skills.
Other hidden disabilities include Attention Deficit Disorder or Asperger's Syndrome. Without good school testing you will not know what your child has.
3) According to special education law (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act) if you suspect your child may have a disability in any areas you can request evaluation for special education services. Make the request in writing and date it and give it to your principal. Your principal must respond IN WRITING the school does not plan to evaluate your son should be evaluated for special education services. Other wise within a week or so you should be signing forms to have your son evaluated. Once the forms are signed the school has 45 school days to complete the evaluation process or tell you why they did not in writing. They must evaluate your son in ALL suspected areas of disability.
4) Schools can also do what is called Response to Intervention which means they must use a program that has been used by other schools and universities consistantly to see if they can improve your son's skills. They must also keep data to see if your son is improving. If your son does not improve then they need more intensive services like doing math in class and then by himself later in the day. If this does not work then they would refer him to special education, this is called RTI for short.

I have been a frustrated mom for many years because of the schools AR program. i have never seen a program that rewards children so much for already being good at something and punishing so much for a child that struggles.

Do they remember what kind of books they read at 9 years old. probably "See Tip Run" that had 5 words per page that they read over and over for a week. and they grew up to be educated professional people. so what is their true concern with your son reading a book that he is interested in. and at his own speed.

I would call a meeting with the principle, his teacher, the chapter one teacher, the school councelor and anyone else you think would be helpful. maybe your school board member too. i would tell them that the most important thing to you, right now, about your son is his self confidence. because if that doesn't rise and get better than there is a whole lot of problems they will be dealing with in the future then just his reading. You tell them that his grade in AR as a 9 year old will not be on his permanent record for college..but he needs good self esteem to even make the decision to go to college. ohh.. sorry i get so mad.. take me to the meeting with you..lol =) i'll tell them what i think.. i've had to with one of my children.

The other thing with the math that we ended up doing..cuz my daughter was so much the same way, is we started timing her math differently. they say go for one min. and see how far they get.. we let her do the whole page and see how long it takes.. then try to have her start beating her own time.. until soon she was doing it in the time she needed to.

Good luck.. get a little angry.. if you don't stand up for your child no one will. he needs you to do this for him. and my vote is let him stay home.. maybe have a friend over that didn't reach his goal to. or even better.. let the school know that he wont be attending that day.. but show up with him at the place they plan to go for the field trip and let him have a good time. i bet you anything no one tells you that you and him can't be there. and if they do.. you tell them that he did his best .. that you are proud of your son, and that you as his mother knows he deserves that field trip as much as any of those kids there who can read quickly and easily and that he probably even deserves it more!!

hope to see an update sometime!! go get em!!

J.,
I would like to ask first and fore most, why is the school responsible. The children know what their responsibilities are, if he wants to read the bigger books great, but he should also read a book to ensure he follows his AR goal. He needs to learn that we have to follow rules and I am sorry, but when my 12 year old came home last year and gave me her sob story about the same type of situation, I sat her down and explained that she was going to be held accountable, she knew what she needed to do for that class and therefore when she did not get to go skiing, I made her go to school because otherwise I was enabling her to do what she wanted verses what she knew she had to do. Being held accountable for their actions while younger is much better than when they are in college, excuses just don't work. Now on the learning ability, sounds like my oldest son when he was that age, it cost me $60 thousand dollars to find out that his learning disability was based on products I was buying to clean our home, bath, etc. Ammonia based, bleach based, phosphate based products cause many disabilities and sickness, even diseases. I stopped using those products and my son no longer needed special classes or one on one help, he started reading the Harry Potter books within 3 days, he even started writing scripts and is graduating this year and heading off to college for movie director, something I never thought I would see. I love the way you protect your children and it is awesome to see you so involved, you are a wonderful mom, by the way ADHD is caused from toxins in the home, and save yourself the time and money from doctors and look into some safer products for your children, please. I will show you how to do what I did when my son was in the 5th grade, give me an hour of your time, I won't waste your time, I promise. You remind me of me 5 years ago. gotgreennow.fourpointmoms.com

I highly recommend two books by Mel Levine, MD: "A Mind at a Time" and "The Myth of Laziness." It really sounds like your son has what Dr. Levine calls "output failure;" his brain works differently than most. Your clues about his handwriting, and other motor skills points to learning concerns. I'm sorry that the VP at your school is so cruel. A 504 would be a good thing to get in place as support for your son. I would definitely pursue that route as it provides supports for your son without being in special ed. I'm a high school teacher and have had students with 504s. Good luck and keep trying to get your son the help he deserves! He needs to have his strengths identified and encouraged as well. :)

INSISTENCE. If your boys have been diagnosed by a professional with ADHD, then the school is required by law to supply them with assistance. My guess for the school balking, is because they will have to fund any aides and/or whatever else your boys need to function in the school. I kind of got lucky. I have a set of twins, now 14, one of which has cerebral palsy, and they school actually got extra funding for his in school therapy and most of any equipment the he would need.
I myself am hyperactice, OCD, and possible ADD, as well as the older of my twins I'm sure has ADD, so I kow what you're going through. I also know what your son is going through. It seems that no matter how hard you try, it's never good enough. Because, no one seems to know how to get you focused without calling attention to you, and you're always getting picked on (by the teachers and your fellow students)
My suggestion is see if you have a local PLUK (Parents Lets Unite for Kids) office. Ask if they can review your case, the official diagnoses, any and all correspondence between you and the school, and see if the can advocate for you and your child. It hurts to see a brilliant child behind those eyes, but not have any idea in the world how to help him come out. While I never needed advocacy ( I do wish I had known about it when my kids were younger) the advice and paperwork I did get was extremely helpful. Such as, I didn't know that Schools (being a government subsidized business) are REQUIRED to have so many handicapped parking slots per so many regular ones.
I have noticed, that most schools are completely untrained and unprepared to deal with children with any sort of mental issue ( I'm lumping ADD, ADHD, OCD, and autism here all together because they affect how the brain processes information)and therefore we as parents end up with a brilliant child, whose potential and interest in learning is being destroyed.
Get a hold of PLUK (you should be able to find your local office online) and be insistent with the school. Go above the VP talk to the Principal, talk to the school counsellor, keep talking and pushing until your boys get the help they need. The school is LEGALLY required to get assistance for the one having issues, based simply onthe fact that he is and does have learning disabilities (based on guidelines for determining learning/physical disabilities)OH, and one more thing......go ahead and keep him home friday, ask the school the day before to send home his work for the day, and write the teacher a note asking her to break up his homework.
And if you need someone to talk to, I've been there done that, with kids with ADD, Cerebral Palsy, and one who loves school and is in the head of his class getting honor roll every quarter. It always helps to talk to someone who shares similar frustrations in life.
Good luck

J. -
You poor thing. Not only are you feeling overwhelmed with life at home but now the school seems to be throwing roadblocks up in front of you! Ugh! As a regular education teacher with 2 students on IEPs and 2 on 504s I am telling you to keep fighting. I cannot believe the gaul of the vp to tell you he does not want the 504 because it does no good. BS! (sorry for the language). A 504 puts into 'writing' what teachers need to do to accommodate your son. With the paperwork, we as teachers, have to make those accommodations by federal law. It might not be much, something as small as allowing more time on assignments or as you said, sending home only 1 or 2 assignments at a time. Here in MT we have a group called PLUK (Parents Let's Unite for Kids). This group is an advocacy group who will come to your aid when dealing with your school and the district. I would research to see if you have such a group in your area. Many voices are stronger than just one and if you are running out of energy, they can be just the boost you need.

As for your darling son - good for him for wanting to read Eragon. It is a very long book and difficult for even some good readers to get through. I would encourage him to continue to read this book. At my school we did away with AR tests - it was just another number and we found assessments that were reliable and did not injure the kids' self esteem. As for the 'earning' of a field trip due to AR tests, that is ridiculous and I would be bringing it up at the district level - go beyond your school level. If it is possible for you to let your son stay home on Friday, I would do it. He is already feeling awful about the situation. He is basically being punished for something that is out of his control and that is embarassing. If you can, take the day off too and spend some one on one time with him letting him know how truly special he really is!

Best of luck to you in this whole mess. Keep fighting for your son - you will win this!

Hi, J.!

I understand your frustration after reading your post. I'm a teacher myself, so I may be able to explain the 504 and the SPED education qualifications. For a 504, you son would have to qualify (typically based on some sort of "medical" condition). And there would need to be doctor's proof that it affects his learning. For example, we sometimes have EXTREME ADD or ADHD cases on 504s. But it could also be vision or hearing problems, medical anxiety, etc. Like I said, it would be a medical type condition that affects learning.

For the learning disabilities or SPED (special education) qualification - this is DIFFICULT! The school could have its hands somewhat tied because for a student to qualify, they must follow GOVERNMENT set guidelines. Basically, there needs to be a discrepency between your son's performance in class vs. your son's performance on assessments (including state assessments). This can be difficult to prove. THEN, he must be officially tested by your school's SPED department. If he "passes" all of these requirements, then you school can provide him special services.

It can be frustating for parents, as well as teachers. I know of students who could have benefited from additional help from the SPED department, but alas, they did not "qualify."

My suggestion is that, although your son is interested in Eragon, I have to agree that it is a difficult book. I have 13 and 14 year old students who can't get through that book. Find out what genre your son is interested in, and head to the library (public or the school's), and ask for suggestions that fit that genre. Sounds like he's interested in dragons and fantasy, there's plenty of other choices out there that fit that genre, but are at a better suited level.

As for the field trip, I don't know all the circumstances that surround that situation, but if it is purely that he can't attend because he didn't pass an AR test, I don't think that is right, and you have a good arguement there. Field trips are supposed to enrich the teacher's curriculum, so holding a student back from a field trip is almost like saying, "you're not allowed to learn this." And in this humble teacher's opinion, that is wrong.

I think you've gotten some good responses, and I hope you can get the help your son needs.
I did want to say though that I had a very hard time in school, with reading, and anything that I had to study. I have been in your sons situation with reading and I am now dealing with the same thing with my 9 year old daughter. I agree that they need a "just right book". This one has been hard for us too, but I told my dd she would have to pick a shorter book just to get through her book report, then she could read her other book later. We went to our public library and went through several books before we found one that we both agreed on, shes almost finished with it and will have plenty of time to work on her report. I think they really need to feel the sense of accomplishment of finishing on time.
I have a lot of baggage I've had to work through over the years from being in special ed. I felt so stupid. I would suggest you talk to him and see how he feels about it first. I think I would try just about anything before putting my children in special ed because of my experience.
I also just thought of something. I took a speed reading course as an adult, I'm sure there is something like this for kids. It sounds from what you wrote, like this might be all he needs. (I know you can't write everything and being his mom you probably know if this is true or not, so just a suggestion) You could check on line for an at home course, or get tutoring outside of school. I think if you could help him without putting him in special ed, it would be a lot better for his self esteem. At this age it seems like it's all about self esteem, but I have a girl, so she's emotional anyway:)
Good Luck!

Don't give up!!! I hope all the responses help encourage you!!

Hi, I am a second grade teacher in California. My first thought is--have you thought about homeschooling. I know quiet a few parents that are going that route.

I do not have children, but if I did I probably would not want them attending public school. Because of the No Child Left Behind Laws the majority of schools in CA (and probably around the nation) are focused on teaching to the state test. I know in my school teachers are pretty much told what to teach, when to teach it, and how long to teach it. So...the teacher's and students' day is VERY STRUCTURED. The day consists of a lot of direct teaching where the teacher "lectures" and the students are sitting in their desk. This is not usually the best way for an active child to learn. But, it is what it is.

Regarding AR we have that program at our school. I am in agreement with the vice principal. If the school would make an exception for your child and other students heard about it the school would have to make exceptions for them too. The field trip is a reward for the students that make the points. Not a punishment for those that don't. A possible solution for you is to have your son continue reading Eragon and also get some easier books to read and test on in the meantime. You could read the easier book(s) to/with your son and ask him questions about the book to make sure he knows what it is about and then have him take the AR test at school. You could also do this with Eragon. You read some of the book to your child, he reads some of it to you. Discuss it together. It might make it FUN.

A 504 is a written "contract" that says that your child has something that is getting in the way of learning at grade level. It outlines what modifications that teacher/parent/school will do to help the student learn grade level material. Things such as having the teacher send homework home every evening instead of a weekly packet,etc. You probably need to contact the teacher and remind him/her that homework is to still be sent home daily. Teachers get busy and need reminders.

If your son's doctor thinks your child has learning disablities he can write a written request to the school asking that your son be tested. Sometimes this route will work. Also, get the counselor to put his/her suggestion that your child be tested down in writing and take it to the school.

Finally, you may want to look into homeschooling, a charter school, etc. for your child. Even though I work in a public school--PUBLIC SCHOOL IS NOT THE BEST OPTION FOR SOME CHILDREN. Only you can make that decision for your child.
Sincerely--Second grade teacher

As a former teacher (now sahm), I can see both sides of the situation. Your son does need to be reading books that are on his independent level to build confidence and fluency. It is important that he is able to read comfortably through a book and understand the content. It sounds to me like the book he chose to read is not at his independent level and should choose something different to read for school. That is not to say that he can't read Eragon--if he's interested in it, keep it and read with him. Maybe you read a little and he reads a little. Keep it fun and not stressful. So, I agree with the school that he needs to be reading something different that is going to work on his fluency of reading and his comprehension instead of reading very slowly just to try to get through the book. HOWEVER, I don't think that he should be held back from a field trip because of whether or not he is finishing a book. That seems a little rediculous to me. To me and my former school, behavior is the one thing that keeps kids from going on a field trip (or not returning the permission form). So, if the teacher still won't let him go because of the AR test (which I don't really think should be a source of assessment anyway--it should be an extra component of reading to help kids learn how to answer questions based on what they have read in order to do standardized tests), I would call him in sick and keep him home. Kids are so fragile that you don't want him to feel that his efforts are being punished. On to the homework situation. I think it is a little rediculous that the teacher sends home a packet once a week instead of daily. A giant packet is overwhelming for any kid, much less one with ADHD or any type of learning disorder. If she sends home a packet after you have talked to her again, when you get it, just take it apart and have a seperate folder at home for each night. Put a little in each folder and then when it is homework time, pull out the monday (or whatever day of the week it is) folder and do what is in there. That way, your son won't see all that he has to do for the whole week, just for that day. As for the learning disability and fine motor testing, you should seriously talk to his doctor about that. If he is still having trouble with shoe tying and buttoning, I would call right away and your doctor can either give you some activities to strengthen his fine motor maybe send him to an occupational therapist. If you feel strongly about learning disabilities, force the issue and try harder to get the school to test him. Hope this somehow helps. Good luck

This happened to us as well. Fortunately I was in the position to pull my son from school and homeschool him. Since you are not I would immediately contact the superintendant of schools and tell him what is happening. If that doesn't work after a week go directly to the State Board of Education. There is a certain number of days the school has to accomodate your request even if they don't think they should. It turns out that our school district is just too overwhelmed with special needs students and so any borderline kid was being set aside as just lazy or sruggling. I fought it and 3 years later it is much improved. Even though I homeschooled an investigation was done and the principal of the school I had been dealing with was fired. I still won't put my kids in our local school district and go out of my way to drive them 20 miles one way to a charter school where my son's are doing very well. We are lucky a new charter school is opening in our district next year and both got in so no more driving but it's been worth it. If you look in our area it says something about our local schools. There are 5 charter schools in our district alone and our local district is not happy, insisting that we can't support that many. Even the much larger district right down the road doesn't have that many. The new school filled in 2 weeks and 3 of the other schools have waiting lists of over 300. Good luck to you because it sounds like you are doing the best for your son. Don't be afraid to push what you want and educate yourself on your rights.

The vp is not doing what you need so try escalating the issue, and if it is not progressing keep escalating. Your son is doing what they claim to want - actually learning -but they aren't testing for that, they are only going for quantity, not quality. This is unacceptable and if necessary take it to the school board and see if you get what is needed. The down side of doing that is that they may hold a grudge at the lower levels. There should be more concern over content and learning rather than merely the appearance of progress.

Years ago I had a similar problem and changed schools, that may be an alternative as well. Depending on where you live there may be a university running a labratory school which could be a excellant alternative and give wonderful results.

Good luck and keep fighting for what is right for your son.

J.--That is BS!! He should not be punished like that--he will begin to think reading is punishment and not even try. I can understand him not receiving an award, but no field trip is ridiculous! You need to go to the principal (not the assistant), and if you can't get in call the district!!

Maybe remind them that if they treat everyone this way it could affect their No Child Let Behind scores. In fact, do you know where the school fell in the CSIP testing? Maybe they didn't pass....

OOOO....I am steamed for you. I am the PTA President at our school and I cannot even fathom working an administration like the one you are describing!! Stand up for your child, but don't let him think you will always be there to bail him out. I do think that if he was only 2 points away you should have MADE him read a short quick book to get his two points, but not so that he could go on the field trip. Just so that he would have achieved his goal, and knowing that he did it and could still finish Eragon and test on Eragon next term. That should have been a positive for him! I don't feel the punishment fits the crime! Aacck!

I am also a former teacher and WFHM - I may be echoing the other teacher/mom's sentiments (didnt read everything).

You, unfortunately, are the only advocate your child has. He has already been diagnosed with ADHD, and you suspect a learning problem (the fact that he gets good grades but struggles in one or 2 subjects SUPPORTS that, doesn't rule it out!!!) Go to the school, insist on the 504!! It classifies him as a child with special needs and REQUIRES the school to accomodate (usually with extra tutoring/resource, but also with extended testing times or whatever his disabilities may require). The fact that the principal, vp, and teacher are not wanting to work with you on this are INEXCUSABLE. And it's against the law to withhold help from a child. At best, they are just being lazy. At worst.... who knows.

I would document everything, go to the distric offices, and ask to talk to the person who should be overseeing it. Request a transfer to a different school if that's what it will take (it may be better, get out of the bad environment and with teachers who don't have biases from whats been going on).

I would also be furious at him being kept from a field trip because of this. Field trips are supposed to be learning experiences, not just fun, and teachers have to be able to show this. To keep him from learning because he missed a score, no matter how far, is silly. Behavior issues, that can be a consideration, but not a poor grade.

Sounds like a trip to the district is really warranted. Hang in there, you're doing him a lot of good by fighting for him.

J.,

I can tell you are a great mother and very concerned that your child get the best education possible! Good for you. I know you have a million great responses but hopefully something I say will help you.

My daughter has gone through almost the exact same thing. She is highly intellegent but her school grades do not reflect that. We noticed she was struggling badly in school and requested she get tested for learning disablilites. The school said they would implement different strategies for several months to try and improve her learning before they would do the testing. I just didn't feel this was the right way to go and while they were doing this my husband and I took her to the mental health institute and had her independantly tested. It was very expensive and cost around $300-400. Insurance wouldn't cover it because it is developmental. Although it was expensive and we had to scrimp to pay it I am so glad we did. The school HAD to look at those tests and recognize she has a math learning disability and slow processing speed and dysgraphia. Sounds like your son had slow processing speed too, which in my daughters case is linked very closely to depression.

I found out later if you put a request in writing to have your son tested the school is required to do the testing by a certain date. Put a request in writing right away.

Because of the documented slow processing speed (it doen't mean he/she is stupid, it just takes longer for the answers to come) we have been able to work out modifications of longer testing times, etc. And she is on an IEP for math.

I know this is soooo frusttrating but you have to jump through some hoops to get the help for your son. DONT GIVE UP!

As far as the AR trip. AR Sucks! It is not a good program. Most of the other schools in this area have ditched the program and are doing other things. Our school hasn't yet. Our district policy (Davis County, UT) is that students should not be excluded from parties or celebrations for not making their goal but they will not receive awards. I hear of my daughters friends being left out of parties all the time and it makes me furious, they have a policy in place but are not following it. What is your district policy? If it would help at all I could email you the policy and you could take it to your principal and show him/her what other schools are doing. Your son needs to go on the field trip if nothing else to just set the standard.

Good luck, let us know how it goes.

I'm sorry you're going through all these difficulties. First, I think you're referring to a 504 plan, not a 405. A 504 refers to a Federal system. It's similar to an IEP (Individualized Education Plan). An IEP involves modifications in the way a student is taught. A 504 is simpler, easier to attain, and involves accommodations more than modifications. For example, if a student wears hearing aids but is otherwise healthy and able to participate in the regular curriculum, a 504 plan would not change the curriculum or the way the student is taught, but would mandate that the student be given preferential seating, or maybe not have to respond to oral questions, etc.

I would suggest that you not ask the school administration about a 504. In my child's case, that went nowhere. You need a doctor (an M.D., not a counselor or therapist) and you need him or her to briefly state your child's issues, and order some testing or that a 504 plan be fully explored. Then insist that the school comply with a physician's orders. A psychiatrist will know who in your area does testing pertaining to your child's reading, handwriting, learning issues, etc. Make sure that it's an actual qualified place with people with degrees, not anything holistic, chiropractic, counseling, etc. (nothing wrong with those but you need a person licensed, degreed, able to prescribe medications, etc for this).

I have learned that you need a very brief summary of your child to present to schools. In our case, the school ignored long diagnoses and long descriptions. I had to go beyond the local school to the district to get them to pay attention to the doctors.

Encourage your son to read the book he wants to read on the weekends and read what is level during the week for school. As a mom and a new paraprofessional for special ed and kids who sound just like your son it is easy for them to fall behind. It won't help him to struggle through a book find him a book (about dragons like Eragon) that is at his level. He will enjoy Eragon more when he is at that level and he will be able to read the entire series with ease and understanding. If the vp is not helping and the principal is not helping per the counselors advise you can do a few things. One, have a conference with everyone involved in the hopes that everyone gets on the same page. Also, talk with other parents and see if any of them are having the same problem. Believe me there is strength in numbers. I had to fight for my oldest son to get a quality education. He is the opposite. He was getting things done too quickly and getting into trouble so he wasn't allowed to do the fun things like field trips. Until, I found out the cause of the problem. If you feel strong enough about your struggle and need help send a letter to the superintendent of the school where your son is going. That makes them stand up and take notice. Last option, look into a school that will help you and your son with his challenges in learning. Changing schools is rough but it was the best thing I did for both of my sons and now my daughter who loves school and even pretends to be a teacher at home. I wish you and yours boys all the best. M.

Hello J.,

I swear our school system gets dumber as the years go by.
These Educators are paid to educate our children and believe me the ones where you are are failing miserably.
You have rights and so does your son, do not accept what you are being told. Let them know that you are not going to accept their response period, and proceed to make as much of a stink as you can on behalf of your son.

It is great that he has found an interest and is reading period.

Have you written the school board? If I were you I would write the Principal, the School Board and whoever is head of Health and Education in your state.

I say write because then you have documentation about you4r attempts to help your son be acknowledged and accepted for what he is able to do at this time.

I would also write the head of Education in Washington D.C.
With this new administration they will want to know how the school systems are currently working in every state.

President Obama is all about Education and this is a classic example of educators trying to keep one child down.

Good luck.

J.,

Just a few things. You have rights, and so does your son. You are paying these people to educate your child, and they are failing him. Don't let this go. Not only for your son's sake, but for other children as well. As for the reading, my daughter was a slow reader as well. When she had to read something for class, sometimes to take the pressure off, I would read to her, a chapter here or a few pages there. It didn't diminish her accomplishment, it just helped her along. As for the school not letting your son go on the field trip, that makes me very angry. He has every right to be on that bus. These "educators" are supposed to be working for you. In my daughter's case an IEP was just the thing. I wish you luck and blessings. Go get 'em.

As you have discovered, you have to be the primary advocate for your child. You need to pester the vp until you get the testing your son needs. Don't let him bully you. If you have to, go to the higher ups to get it done. You have to be very proactive. Kindly remind his teacher again that he needs his homework separated, not in a packet. She probably just forgot. Don't worry about timed tests. I always failed timed math tests in elementary and I now have two math degrees. I went through something similar with my daughter who is extremely bright but does not work well with the system. I always gave her pep talks at home and pointed out all of her acheivements. For example, your son is 9 years old and reading Eragon. That is incredible. Tell him that and make sure that the fact he can read Eragon and understand shows that he is way above his grade level in reading. Point out that AR has nothing to do with reading ability. He can get all of his AR points by reading 1st grade level books. Confidence issues really effect performance in school so make sure you are always pointing out what he does well and use it as an example to him that he is really bright. My daughter has had a lot of issues with handwriting, timed tests, and reading. We have been able to overcome most of those by building up her confidence.

As far as the field trip, if it were me I would let my kid stay home and read Eragon all day. I always told my kids how I felt about school policies that I thought were silly and missed the boat. I should clarify that I only did that for policies that were hurting that child. I always pointed out that to get through in life you have to jump through the hoops, but it is important to recognize that they are just hoops.

By the way, my daughter is really good at math and still has never passed a time test. Those tests are worthless and have nothing to do with math ability. Tell your son that. Make sure you clarify that he still has to do his best on them, but make sure he understands that if he doesn't do well on those he is still really good at math and knows the material. Many kids who do very well on those tests struggle with math when they get past the 2+2=4 stage.

Hang in there. If you get to know the other moms in your school you will find that many of them are having similar struggles. You may be able to pick up a few tips on advocating for you child.

I just noticed someone mentioned getting your son's eyes checked. My husband is an optometrist and you would be astounded to know how many learning disbilities are really eye issues. See a pediatric optometrist and tell him about your concerns. He can test your son to make sure his eyes are working together well. If they aren't your son will really struggle with school work. Vision therapy can fix the problem. Very few schools will test for that so you will need to do it on your own.

I did not read the other responses but you need a new school. Someone that listens and cares.

As far as reading I would help my daughter with books by reading them to her while she took notes or explain to her what was happening in the book. Your son might have a reading disability of some sort. I didn't read in school because I never understood a word I read. I got bad grades because nothing more was expected of me. I could learn just not the way they ere teach ing me and no one bothered to find out why. (Before there were learning disabilities)
C. B

I know how you feel. My son is in a similar position, although he is now in 8th grade, we have going through this every year since AR began. My husband and I are considering the Sylvan Learning center. One of my son's friends went there and it helped alot. I checked it out and it said you could get started for about 100 bucks. unfortunately there is little else to do in the way of getting assitance, especiallly from the school system.
Hope that helps, i hear and TOTALLY understand your frustration, it sucks.
BTW I think I would let him stay home Friday.

OK, I don't even know what to say. This just makes me so mad and I don't even know you! When will schools learn that positive reinforcement and encouragement make the difference for kids instead of punishing them for trying but not succeeding. He's too young to be punished for something like this. It's ridiculous. You need to fight, and fight hard. Talk to the VP, talk to the principal, and if that doesn't work, I'd go to the school district. Luckily my school doesn't do AR so we don't have to deal with this kind of stuff. They do have a reading program but it's' strictly based on positive reinforcement. The kids can read whatever they want and get points/prizes for minutes, not pages or tests. It's strictly voluntary and has nothing to do with their grades/scores. I can't believe they wouldn't let him go on a field trip. That's taking away learning experiences from him. If you try talking to the principal and vp with no luck, I'd just let him stay home from school. I wouldn't give the teacher the power in this situation to make him feel bad. Good luck!

after taking several classes that deal with the special education department, if you request that your child be tested for learning disablities the school is REQUIRED by law to do that. It may be time for you to go above the VP and talk to the principal, don't sit back on this your child has rights and so do you as a parent to make sure that your child is recieve the best education possible

We recently had our daughter evaluated for ADD, something we knew she had but didnt push until she got suspended. If you feel like you want the 504 dont let the school bully you into not getting it. Part of the problem, aside from the paper work is that the school has to make special accomedations (ie extra time on standardized tests, reg test, ect) that they may not want to do. Get what you feel is right for your child. I would also insist that he go on the field trip. If they are aware of his contition, then they have to make the accomedations for him. That is the law. And just for you--there are those of us out there who are with you. We all struggle with our kids, and I know that my daughter will have struggles that most parents cant understand, but you do. There are those of us out there who know what you are going through. Good luck, and shoot me a note if you just want to vent or something. Each of my sisters have a child with ADD/HD and three of the four of us do too. I truly understand.

If I was you I would take my son to be tested on my own. Actually I did that with my son a couple weeks ago. He gets good grades but really struggled with math. It would take him 2 hours to do 10 math problems. I called my pediatrician and asked them about having him tested and they sent questionaires to the teachers and for me and my husband to fill out then we spent about 2 hours with 2 drs while they talked to him and did some testing on him. They are not detecting ADD like I thought he might have but they are saying he needs extra help in math. You will have to see what your insurance covers but that is what I did. With the AR I agree with you that it is not fair for them to push your son to read small books quickly if he finds something he likes. We had that problem with our son last year he never met the AR goal. He only had like 19 points all year in 2nd grade. This year his teacher is pushing all of the kids to read what they like and gives them lots of time during school to read also. Last year we had to make my son sit and read for an hour and that was like pulling teeth! This year I will come home from work, the tv is on but he is READING! That is a very big thing for him, and he already had 69 points for the year. I am very happy with what the teacher is doing to encourage the kids to read more. Maybe you can try to make it more fun to read, set up his own corner with pillows and lots of lights and a quiet spot so he can concentrate. GL email me if you have any questions. ____@____.com

J.,

I agree with what everyone has said about putting the request in writing to get your child tested. An IEP is a great way to go. Something that stuck out to me, though, while reading your concerns was that your child is having a hard time doing some fine motor skills that he should have been doing a few years ago. He may have some other issues, sensory issues that need to be addressed. One book you can read that might help you is the "Out of Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder" by Carol Stock Kranowitz. You can find more out at this website: http://www.out-of-sync-child.com/. This book has great ideas on how to help your child and ways to know if this is your child. It has helped me a lot with my boy who struggles with similar things. Anyway, good luck, and don't stop fighting!

Hi, J. -

You're not alone in this frustration. Some of what you're saying is very familiar (I remember well...). If it helps, I was in the same type of spot at one time with my son; the teacher, in fact, wanted to hold him back in fifth grade. In short, we advocated (along with some talented school counselors, etc.) for him to advance to sixth grade. He is now in seventh and has gotten the help that he needed along the way (including help with undiagnosed learning differences). He, too, felt "stupid" and it broke my heart, because he did try. Since moving on, he has now made honor roll (not that this matters, but it does to him) all but his first semester of sixth grade.

Listen to Becky (speaking as a teacher myself) - she has some great insight. I only have one bit of advice that differs: let your son read what he chooses for home reading. For school, get him to do the work (I know it's hard, but he has to learn to do reading that he doesn't want to do) that is required; even if it's only to earn the trip and to help him reach a school goal. It sounds like this is important to him. There are better "easy readers" out there at public libraries - topic area plays a huge role in whether or not the child wants to read it.

Best of luck!

Hi J.,

Wow, you don't mention where your son goes to school, but wherever it is, I'd be raising hell (pardon my language) for the schools lack of concern, help, assistance, etc... I agree with you on your sons choice of reading material, kudos for him to want to push himself when obviously the school could care less. My first line of action? I'd call the school superintendant and voice my concerns, the lack of help from the teacher AND vice principal. I'd not only do this by phone, but also by Email or ''snail'' mail! (Are you by any chance in the Denver public school districts? Sounds like them!) I have two hearing impaired kids, so I know what its like to get the schools to actually LISTEN to you...my son started out in DPS and the smartest thing I did was pull him out of it and send him to Cherry Creek Schools! (There are other equally good schools, that just happened to be where I sent him, my daughter is in Douglas County Schools, a Senior this year, and tho she could of graduated this month, has chosen to stay in school with her friends...son graduated way back in '91!) I don't know your situation and if a change of schools would be possible for you, but I would certainly consider it if going to the Super has no effect. I personally find it inexcusable for the teachers AND VP to ignore your concerns, and/or make light of them,and think only of whatever tests THEY have to fulfill. Its suppose to be about the kids, getting an education, learning at the rate of their abilities, pushing them to try harder, go one step further. Thank goodness my kids had the teachers, schooling, curriculum, etc... they needed to meet and exceed their goals as well as tho set forth by the teaching staff. I'm very proud to say my daughter is an honor student, she didn't have it easy (being hearing impaired she had to push herself much more than any of her peers), and all her teachers throughout her school years have consistently encouraged her, worked with her, and kept in constant contact with me or her father. I wish you lots of luck, I hope you can give your sons school a wakeup call, but more importantly I hope your son receives the education he deserves!!

You've got to visit this web site: www.chadd.org it's a non profit organiziation for children and adults with AD/HD. My mom helped with the classes that they teach for over 10 years because my two younger brothers both have ADD. I don't know where you live but my mom helped with the Davis County, Utah chapter as well as the Salt lake County, Utah chapter. They are a national organization so you should be able to find a chapter near you that can help! They have all sorts of info on 504 plans and are just simply wonderful. They have support groups, classes and tons of resources at your disposal! Good luck J.- I wish you the best! I know it's hard, my mom has had a very hard time with my youngest brother and his 504 plan for high school just try to keep your chin up and never forget that you know your child and you have plenty of reason to make someone do a little more paperwork inorder to make sure that your son gets the help he needs!

Hi J.,
I'm so sorry for your struggles. I know how awful it can be dealing with the schools. It sounds like you have a lot of good advice here. I just want to say as far as the field trip situation. Let him skip school. You said yourself he has been working hard. He deserves a reward, something to encourage him to keep trying. Maybe you could set something up for him, his own little field trip. Good for him for reading Eragon! What a champ! That is a hard book, I just finished it myself!! I did love it. Keep fighting for him! Your boys are lucky to have you.

If the teachers and the vp won't listen then maybe you need to see if you can talk with the principal or talk to the school board and see what can happen from there. Otherwise I would say get a note from a doctor or a child phsycologist who can really determine what is really going on in his head and go from there.

I personally was diagnosed with ADD and I remember that my parents struggled with all of my teachers and every year they would have to go to all of my teachers and explain to each one of them my situation. My parents were always writing notes to the teachers as if they were little reminders that the teachers needed to teach me slitely different then other kids because of my learning disorder which is ADD.

I hope that my suggestion helps you out and let your son know from one ADD person to another that HE is not stupid its just the world around him who doesn't know how to bring out the inteligent side. I struggled with that feeling myself for years and he is not alone in that field.

One more suggestion that I can give you is with his addition if he is good at figuring out how much money he has and needs some extra help then have him put a dollar sign infront of the math question and see how he does.

A. M.

Hang in there you and your son are doing great!

J. ,

I feel for you sounds like what happened to my son last year , i highly suggest going to the school board , and demand they look into helping your son schooling , also the damn AR reading i hate it happened to my son as well , he also had slow reading - go figure because i am a literacy coach as well but some children learn at different ways , i got so frustrated as well as my son that i pulled him out of the school and have found a wonderful school that is a charter school called quest academy here in west haven . are you here in weber county ?

We took my son to a child psychologist who does academic testing. He is very smart (lowest final grade average in all subjects? 92) but has issues with reading fluency (in title 1) and math speed (struggles with rocket math). Psychologist did a response time test. Child presses space bar whenever they see, for example, the letter "a" pop up on screen. Normal child over time would see a decrease in response time. Typically, the more practice they get the faster they become. However, my son did not get faster. He said this is indicative of attention deficit disorder and was characterized as a significant deficit...and said, that the fact that he is doing as well as he is in school is a testament to how hard we have been working with him. There was also a significant difference in IQ testing when timing was considered. He was also diagnosed by Easter Seals with mild audiological processing disorder. Yes, practice helps, but some kids more than others. But Rocket Math in our school includes completing 40 problems in a minute or a minute and a half. So, if they take 1 or 2 seconds longer than their peers per problem, it's too long and they don't pass. They have peers mark their papers and all the kids know where everyone else is in the leveling. It is discouraging for a kid who actually loves math...taught himself math facts, initiated learning multiplication over the summer, wanted to learn two digit addition before it was covered in class. I submit that doing well on rocket math is a measure of both knowledge and attention span.

I have three children. My first child does not have this problem...passed rocket math most of the time with practice, each level, in maybe 1 or 2 attempts. So how do we cope? We practice with my son 20 minutes every evening and 20 minutes every morning on school nights. Over the summer, I had him read every story in his Journeys text book for the upcoming year (purchased used on Amazon)....considered "pre-teaching". I download the lesson plans from Teacherspayteachers.com for a few dollars so I can prepare him for tests. What can I say, it's a battle.

To make you struggling parents feel better: my husband was in special ed reading for 4 years as a child, and is now a neurologist. He says that different brains develop at different paces. Don't let these tests tell you or your child what their potential is. BTW, the school psychologist did an in- class observation of my son and said he did not have issues with attention span.

I am sorry you are going through this with your son.

Check out this link to help you with the difference between a 504 vs. an IEP. My son is on an IEP for fine motor issues and speech and he also has an ILP for reading. And to reiterate what Elena had said, I have heard that the IEP is the better way to go.

http://specialchildren.about.com/od/504s/f/504faq2.htm

My experience, through speaking to other parents, is that some schools fight the whole special ed process for the extra funds needed/allocated for these kids. Some teachers and administrators have gotten nasty. You could always look for a parent advocate in your state. It worked well for one family to get their point across but they eventually went to a charter school because they were termed "adversarial" when they tried to get their daughter help, who now at the charter school gets the support she needs. I really think a parent advocate would be the next logical step for you to express what you think your son needs. We also have a program called Child Find and you don't need permission from representatives of your school---you set up the appointment yourself but they will likely ask for input from your son's educators as part of the evaluation.

I will say I have to agree with the Asst. Principal in the aspect that I would be choosing books within your son's level that are not chapter books---just to avoid the disappointment you are facing now and not putting so much pressure on him, regardless of the fact he REALLY wants to read this book.

Best wishes.

As far as the field trip goes, TAKE HIM YOURSELF. The school can not say anything if you choose to take your child out of school for one day and spend some one on one time with your child.

Also as far as testing your child. IF the vp is dragging their feet than you can find out who gives the test and go staight to them and ask them to test him or you can write to the distric office and ask them as well

Hope this helps
If you need any help or anything let me know
J.

I don't have a whole lot to add except to keep fighting and making the school know YOU know your child best! I am so sorry you're both having to go through this. He has a great advocate in you, and he will always have that fact to be proud of!
(If all else fails, can you take it up to the school board? Just a thought, I don't even know if it's feasible....)

You've got to get something in writing. You're right, the school doesn't want one because then they are legally bound to abide by it -- more work for them. I just had a great class on this for parents. Every school district nation-wide has a student's advocate. Find out whose yours is and let the VP know you will be contacting so-and-so, give their name, if you don't get some help. The class I took said warn the school before you bring in the advocate, but feel free to use them. It works better if you work up the system rather than trumping the system. Also, check out www.interactivemetronome.com. It has done wonders for our son. My mom works with them and some of her best improvements come from kids with ADD and ADHD. If you need some more help, my mom would love to talk to you, if you're interested. She's in Denver, but has worked with parents in other states, so is familiar with laws and such. GL! I hope you can get some help soon!

Hi J.,
I'm not in your shoes but will try to encourage you in the direction you are taking. If it was my son I would be looking at some private schools. They are tons better then public education will ever be because they usually offer "slower paces" and have less kids to deal with. Less kids would enable your son more one on one time and a slower pace would help him in his weak spots. My husband who really is a brilliant man had a very difficult time in school. The courses he was weak in he never got the help he needed so he could actually learn something leaving him feeling very stupid and embarrassed. The courses he was strong in became a bore to him because he was way above what he was being taught. They labeled him as dumb and a troublemaker. Generally with private schools they will do their intial testing when the child enrolls so they have an idea of what the child knows or doesn't know. It will be after these results are gathered that they will place the child with the appropriate workbooks (I say workbooks because this is the term I'm familiar with).I attended a parochial school during my jr/sr year. It was the best thing my mom could have done for me. I doubt I would have finished high school at all had she left me to the wolves of the public school. Had my husband had this same opportunity I'm sure he would have graduated with honors as it was he quit school although later he did gain his GED. Regarding your two sons who have been diagnosed with ADHD. I personally think this "disease" is a crock and way over used to diagnose the real issues...boys will be boys (I have one so I do know something about them) and most people (particularly public schools) simply can't except that boys are different then girls and need to be tamed down so they fit into the shoe society wants them to fit in to. I doubt your son has disabilities. I'm betting if you monitor their food intake (no sugars..real or fake)make sure they're drinking plenty of water, seriously limit t.v, computer and video game usage and give them tons of outdoor activities that allow them to be themselves you will find you have three very healthy, smart, productive, creative, wonderful young men. God Bless You, I will be praying for you and expecting great news. L.

hi
J.,
sorry that i am typing with all lowercase letters, but my baby is asleep in my arms.... a couple of things... you can go to the colorado department of education website or just your school district's website and research 504 plans. Basically they are accomodations provided by the general education - classroom teacher. your child may also have a learning disability..and you could ask to speak with the school's special ed. team or with someone at the district level. They will work with you on an intervention plan for your kiddo. if the plan doesn't seem to be effective, you can ask to meet to modify the plan or for the special ed.evaluation. in the meantime check out ldonline.org. They have great resources. i wish i could help you more...good luck!
L.
mom and a special ed. teacher

Omg J..
I cannot believe this situation. Hang in there.
First, if you want a 504 or IEP (individual education plan), the vp has no right to deny that. Furthermore, concerning getting him a psycholgical evaluation, ditto! I did these things for a living and your situation is appaling. Since the VP is not being helpful, I'd recommend talking to the school psychologist directly since they are the one who would test and create the 504/IEP. I had plenty of students with straight A's and learning disabilities, so it is clear that this VP doesn't know what he's talking about.

Second, concerning Eragon, I think supporting in his decision is great. It's unfortunate that this school choses to punish those in this manner.

If he's a slow reader and not progressing, plus the homework packet being overwhelming, those are clear signs to mr and the reason why 504 were created, to enforce such things as separating out the packets and allow extra time on assignments of length.

I use a curriculum in my home based preschool in 80015 zipcode.(____@____.com)
It is called Handwriting Without Tears
It would be easy for you to use as a parent, and you would see amazing results in all problems you have described your son has. You can google it. It will help handwriting, self esteem, fine motor and his grip. Please check it out. It is has a primary grade curriculum also.
(I also have 2 openings if you know anyone in my area)
Be Blessed
Patricia

Keep on doing what you're doing! Always be as polite as you can, but make them accountable for what you want to do. It's YOUR CHILD, and you're the one accountable. Send notes daily to his teacher about the homework, reminding her to please send only one day at a time, or ask permission to rip the "packet" apart and turn in a page at a time. I have a child that gets easily overwhelmed, and I did have her tested. It was very, very helpful. They were able to diagnose where the "breakdown" in processing was happening.

Sometimes the school's first screen testing is not sufficient. Talk to as many people as you can about what testings are available at the school district, or even the local university. Sometimes the university education programs offer testings that are more detailed.

And one more tip that may or may not help, I put my child on vit. B12 dots. They dissolve really fast in the mouth, taste fine, and the B12 has helped with the anxiety. We also quite most extra curricular activities. She really could do so much more, but quitting has helped her feel like she's more in control of herself and she's able to not stress near so much about homework.

Also, watch the blood glucose levels. Don't feed sugar or carbs before homework. I had a specialist tell me even an orange can have too much sugar and it actually ruins the brain connections with some kids (I saw pictures of the MRIs... it was amazing). It makes homework time much, much harder.

Follow your gut! Good luck.
K.

I find it sad your son is in a school that acutally makes field trips something they have to EARN! When did that start?
Secondly, if he has some special needs, EVERYONE in that school should be on board to help him get the best possible education possible! I would now go to the district and address this,the PTA anyone that will listen.
I don't know guidelines and what the book situation is, however I think him reading that big book is amazing!
If he is struggling wiht tying his shoes, I would talk to your Pediatrician, get it in writing and take it to the district and pitch a huge fit.
I am so sorry, I hope someone listens. If we are truly in a time that field trips aren't just part of learning and they isolate someone, make them feel less then who they are, that is very sad to me indeed!
God Bless

That school sounds so awful, I am sorry to hear taht they consider taking on a challenging book to be a BAD thing when it is really a great thing! And to punish him by not letting him attend a field trip, which should be an outing to get kids excited about learning, that is just horrible. I wonder if there is a good charter school in your area? My daughter goes to a wonderful charter school that is SO much better than our regular district school, but of course every family's needs are differnt. One idea with reading, what if you read a page out loud to him and then have him read a page out loud to you? I used to do this with my little sister when she was struggling with reading and it really helped because she could get into the story and really wanted to read more to find out what would happen next! Good luck to you and your son! And yes, you SHOULD let him stay home tomorrow and do something fun with you, and of course spend some time reading together.

It sounds like your son has a lazy teacher and a vp that shouldn't be a vp. Have you tried to go through his counselor and have the counselor contact the right people to have your son tested? If he does need to have his program "tweaked" because he is slower, if he remains on the current path, it will only frustrate him more which may have longer-lasting, more harmful effects on his self-esteem that may reach well into his adulthood. Is there anyway that you could even check out another school?

J.,
You are not alone! I am in the process of divorcing my husband of 17 years. I too have two boys who are ADHD so I completely understand what you are going through! I am not sure how to handle the "school thing" but I wanted you to know that youare not alone and if you ever need anyone to talk to I am here for you. I have four kiddos ages 16,15,12, and 8. My 15 and 12 y/o are the ones with ADHD so I have "been there done that"!

Good Luck!
C.

Hi J.,

Wow! I feel for you. I think you have a right to be angry and upset. I would not give up. Try talking to the principal instead of the VP and don't give up. You need to find out what is going on with your child. I don't know where you live, however in Colorado there is an organization called, Child Find that works with parents to help them identify learning disabilities and such. I have friends who have gone through them with great success. Even if your state doesn't offer it, maybe you can contact their website and they can point you in the right direction. I don't buy what the school is saying that just because he is getting good grades that he is fine. There is such a wide spectrum of learning disabilities and it could just be something very minor. Good Luck!

http://www.sde.idaho.gov/site/special_edu/

Hi J. - I can imagine your frustration and can understand why you would be angry. Above is a link to the Idaho Special Education dept.

I encourage you to remember that you are your child's best advocate and you may have to ruffle some feathers. I encourage you to formalize your request by putting it in writing. Write a summary of your son's challenges and what he is experiencing in the classroom. Also summarize the different commitments made to you by the school staff ie: testing, programs, etc. Lastly give them a short deadline for action. In the meantime, do your own investigation to learn about the District's special education programs, testing, etc. Be willing to go over the principal's head if you need to.

On the field trip, your son shouldn't be punished because he chose a longer book. I agree - take success where you can. As for school on Friday - I dont see why he cant stay home during the field trip to save face and then come back for the rest of his classes. You are the best judge on that one.

Once your son is tested, they can identify if he has a delay and can address that. Sounds like a lazy principal to me!

best of all things to you and your son,

C.

Hi J.! I feel for you. I used to be a teacher (not staying at home) and to not have your school behind you can be very frustrating.

First and foremost, YOU are the parent and YOU are in charge, not the school. If you want something done (testing...), TELL them you want it don't, don't ask for it to be done. Don't give them a choice. If they still won't do what you want, tell them you will take it to a higher power.

Second, is it possible to find a different school for your son? I'm sorry, but you need a school that will work WITH your son and not against him. I feel so bad for him. He needs more support from his school/teachers/prin., and he is just not getting it.

In regards to reading the book, is this the same book everyone is reading? It's not fair to put a time frame on reading a book if a student has chosen a more difficult book to read that's taking him a while to get through. Everyone learns at a different pace and your son may just need a tad more time than others. As a teacher, I totally understand this.They should not be punishing him for this and I would certainly be in that prin office complaining about not being able to go on the field trip. I feel,though, that your son should definitely be tested just to rule things out. It will give you a peace of mind at the very least.

Read here about at 504 plan: http://specialchildren.about.com/od/504s/f/504faq1.htm

All in all, just be a tad more assertive with your son's school (if you're not already)and demand that he gets testing. I would pursue this until it gets done. My husband is a lawyer and if I need to, if use the excuse, "You will be hearing from my lawyer!" haha. Not sure if you need to go to that extent, but it alwayssss works as my last resort.

Good luck with everything and if I can be of more help, please feel free to contact me at ____@____.com

Ciao,
P.

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggle. It is frustrating how little educators sometimes know about ADHD. I also have a child with this disorder. (He is 11). My number one suggestion for you is to get in contact with the district family resource center and request an "intake" meeting. You and your child will meet with a professional child psychologist and decide the best course of action for your child. It might include short-term counseling through the center, classes for parents taught at the district facility, reading materials to help you better educate yourself on being an advocate for your child, etc. Your counselor can help give you advice about a 504 plan, answer any questions or concerns you have, and hopefully provide you with tools that will help set your children up for success. Hang in there, and learn everything you can; knowledge is power.

as a public school teacher- I have seen that the parents have the power to insist that their children are tested. At least in my district they are implimenting RTI which is a different assessment process, but I have seen and been told that legally- if a parent makes a request in writing- the school has to look into evaluations. This meant a full evaluation in the past (occ. therapist, speech, etc) even if their speech was perfect, but it also "forced" the other test that often help to find the particular skill/abilty/frustration that the student is having. Your VP sound aweful- go higher. If the princiapl is not receptive, make an appointment with the administration office of your district. Call and ask which person you need to make an appointment. You as the parent are the stake holder and hold quite a bit of weight once you start being more formal about your complaints. Go to the meeting organized, calm, with specifics. They have to listen to you-

Tell them you want him tested for an IEP!!!!! It sounds like he is able to do the work with accomidations and if he doesn't have an IEP they don't HAVE to make accomodations for his weaknesses. I commend him for being determined to finish the book he is reading. You are your sons advocate. Don't let the school push you around. Stand up for his rights and he does have them.

That sounds frustrating. There are alot of books and resources available on parenting and the like. Maybe you need some help for yourself so you can deal with this! Why are a 9 and 7 year old attending counseling? For the ADHD? Things must be hard for you, single mom and working etc. Maybe some support for you first! As far as the field trip are there other thing's besides this reading? I have never heard of a school not letting a 4th grader not go on a field trip for academic's, maybe behavior. Hang in there mom, maybe the school counselor has some books to recomend for you on how to deal with the ADHD issue.

My daughter was struggling with a few things and we went to a Nuerological behavirol specialist. Some insurance cover some don't. But once I had that we went to school woth the report now she is on an IEP (individual education plan). She has every thing she needs. They can also recommend that he has to have his homework sent out daily.
Have his counslor refer you to the specialist. Just from going to our behavirol specialist we found are daughter needed speech and because of that she was struggling beacause her comprehensive speech was behind. She has an underlying anxiety disorder and emotionally she is two years behind.
Once you have the report I would call the school they will then do some of there testing and out him on IEP. If the V.P. doesn't do anything then call the school district. There is help in the school sometimes we have to the foot work and start the fire.
Hope this helps

I would keep bugging the VP and Principal if you want your son tested for learning disabilities. If his counselor suggested it I don't know why they are dragging their feet. Email and call everyday if you have to. Be a nusiance. At least once he is tested they can say for sure he does or doesn't have a disability.

As for the AR goal if they refuse to let him go then I would take him out of school for the time of the field trip and go do something fun. Chuck e cheese go to lunch, etc. Something that shows him you think he deserves a reward for attempting to read something hard. I have a friend who hates the AR program for this very reason her son was more into reading comic books and sports magazines so this is what she did. She felt like he was reading and could read so she didn't want to punish him for choosing material that he liked to read.

You could read him a couple of easier books and have him take the tests if the school will still let you. That is if he really wants to go on the activity.

With the teacher and the homework packet I would also talk to her again. She may just be behind or has forgotten. If they do send home a packet could you pull the sheets apart or count up the problems and divide it by the number of days. With my daughters math if I don't tell her do 20 problems a day and make sure she has done it she ends up Thursday night with 80 or 100 left.

I would just continue to be your childs advocate if something isn't working you need to be at the school, or calling, emailing everyday until the situation is fixed. Most teachers and administrators I have worked with usually have good intentions, and are willing to work with you, but you both have to follow through. So hang in there and hopefully it will all work out.

My heart aches for your son. I am a mother of seven children and my first three have gone all the way through the public school system. I experienced the exact thing you are talking about several times! The schools should have the best interest of each child in mind and work to meet those interests. But it's impossible with so many kids. I sometimes felt like the school was undermining what I was trying to do with my children, such as what you are doing by encouraging and supporting your son in reading Eragon,and by them punishing him for not getting it done by the date they wanted him to. It's maddening and wrong! You have every right and reason to be upset. Now, what do you do about it? That's a tough question. My personal answer was that I started homeschooling four years ago. I have a son who is ten and when he was in first grade was already experiencing things similar to your son. I could not stand the heart ache of having him label himself as "stupid" already by the end of first grade because he couldn't do things as quickly as the teacher wanted him to. He struggles with some issues, too, and homeschooling has been the perfect answer for him and his brothers just older and younger than him. They can all learn at their own pace and feel more responsible for their own education. They enjoy learning a lot more when they aren't pushed to do things faster than what they are able. It has been a great experience for us. But I understand that for many reasons, homeschooling may not be an option for everyone. If this is the case for you, here is another suggestion. Make your son's successes a celebration AT HOME. If it could be arranged, maybe let your son stay home on the day of the field trip at school, and have a field trip of his choosing with mom. Or, if you would rather wait until he actually finishes the book, and since he will be missing the social aspect of the field trip, let him plan a fun activity that he can invite a friend along to as a reward for finishing his book. Make it important to you and him at home and reward him at home. His efforts to finish a large, difficult book such as Eragon should definitely be rewarded, not punished! (On another note, I think the AC reader program STINKS! Kids ready silly little books way below their levels, just to get the points. They don't have much reason to push themselves to read on a higher level because they don't want to take the extra time to read when they could just be accumulating points. It's a seriously flawed program.) Maybe even set up a complete reward system at home that works for your son. If he isn't allowed to feel like a success at school because of their inflexible systems, let him feel like a success at home. Make it a big deal and let him know that you are proud of him and that he should be pleased with himself and his accomplishments. I feel for you and your son. Please don't let the school destroy your son's love of learning. I have a suggestion for a book you might want to read. It's called "The Trouble With Boys" (Subtitle "A Surprising Report Card on Our Sons, Their Problems at School, And What Parents and Educators Must Do"). Written by Peg Tyre. Another one you might want to consider is "Dumbing Us Down" by John Taylor Gatto. And don't forget prayer. They are His children, too, and He wants them to be happy and succeed as well.

Check out this website for the best idea on IEP and 504 laws.
http://www.wrightslaw.com/

The VP is somewhat correct in some of his answers. IEP are legally mandated and 504 are more like agreements between a teacher and parent. That does not mean your sould not have one. 504 give a teacher "rules and exceptions" for adaptaions in the classroom. Adhd is a reason to have a 504.
There is a law called the "Child Find Mandate". It states that schools are required to find a child and test them within a certain time limit. Go to your local State's Board of Education and find out the time limit. While you are there google 504. Our state mandates there be 2 504 specialist in the school. One is usually the school nurse. Find out who they are and go directly to them. If they do not listen show up at your next school board meeting with the law in hand and do not stop talking to whom ever you can. Sometimes you will find that one person that will fight with you.

http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/child.find.mandate.htm

As far as the reading this is what we do. My son is still struggling at reading in the 4th grade. He is on an IEP. I think I could fight the point thing, but I do not. Since there is no way he would get all his points by reading himself, I read the books to him. Trust me it is hard to get the time in, but we do it. I have found you can get through a Magic Treehouse book in two days of reading for 30 minutes. You should only have to do this a few time per month. Sometimes I feel bad that it takes time where I could read other longer books to him, but I know I just need to do it.
I feel it is better to adapt in what you can. The teachers see it as you willing to work with them and it makes communitcation easier. With that, is there a way to go to the school and pick up the packet yourself every Monday. You could then rip it into smaller sections before he sees it?
Being a parent of non typical kids is harder than anyone can imagine. The time we put into things is crazy. Keep fighting for him.

There is way more to say, so if you have any questions feel free to e-mail. I have lived this with 2 of my boys.

T.
mom to 4

J.,
My heart breaks for you and your son! As far as his homework packets, maybe you can talk to the teacher again; it could be that she forgot. Also, when he is placed on a 504 or IEP, that will be part of the plan that he will get his homework broken into smaller chunks so that he doesn't get overwhelmed. I noticed that your son has been diagnosed with ADHD. My law, the school is required to test him and put him on an IEP. It sounds like the vp is being very unreasonable. I would let him know that since he is unwilling to address your concerns and follow the law, you will be talking to the principal on the matter (that might actually get his attention). It sounds like your son does need to be on an IEP and probably an ILP (Individualized Literacy Plan) as well to help him be successful. Even though it is a lot of paperwork, there are good reasons for this- they are put into place to help the children. With the No Child Left Behind Act, they will want to do this too because they are held accountable for your sons achievement. If talking to the principal doesn't work, keep going up the chain. Another thing to remind them is that just because he gets decent grades, that does not rule out a learning disability. In fact, the majority of children with learning disabilities have good grades, but that does not mean they are not struggling and should not be helped. There are so many children who have learning disabilities that are not diagnosed because they are able to adapt to the disability and are ashamed because they feel "stupid". The fact that his counselor has suggested testing, that indicates that there is a problem that the school is required to address. I'm frustrated that the school is putting so much emphasis on the AR program- while it can be a good indicator for some children, it shouldn't be used to punish children, especially when they are trying and it is NOT supposed to be used as the only or primary source to assess achievement. It breaks my heart that your son is going to be punished for not meeting the AR's standards when he has been trying. Eragon is a long, challenging book, especially for a little boy with a learning disability and I think he does need to be rewarded. I'm working on my master's in elementary education and that's one thing I've learned is that children should be encouraged to read whatever interests them, whether it be Eragon, comic books, the newspaper, etc. The fact that the VP is telling you that he must pick books that he can read quickly and be tested on is ridiculous. If you have a struggling reader, the best thing to do for them is to have them find a book that interests them. I guess, in a nutshell, I would be insistent with the school. Is there a possibility of changing to another school in the district (some districts allow you to do this) that will be more reasonable? If there is, you can mention that to the principal. Look for advocates- somebody needs to hold the school accountable. Good luck!

All I have to say is that you need to make sure your son feels supported. I would make an appointment with the teacher and have your son sit in the meeting. Make all of your valid points known to her and your son. Yes, there needs to be a change. Also look into montessori (s/p?) schools. Explain to him that just because he learns different doesn't make him stupid. Moving to a new school can help with that. I would keep him home if I were you and take sim somewhere special. Being at school will be a punishment whether it's meant to or not. All of his friends will be off on the field trip.....

I want to start by saying I know nothing on this subject. But I am alarmed by the school's complete lack of help on this subject. It doesn't sound like a healthy place for him. Have you thought about switching schools? I know this may be difficult and untimely, but if it's for your son's own good, it's definitely worth it.

You might also talk to an independent specialist. This could give you an outside opinion and allow you to have more insight into what your son is struggling with. Also, you can then take that to your school district and if they still choose to ignore your son's situation, you can file a complaint with the district. This is ridiculous. I know teachers are busy, but they should be making every effort to reach every student, with the help of the administration.

J.,

I had similar problems with my son's school in Texas. We had some different issues, but the jest was the same. He was struggling they were unwilling to work with him and he was repeatidly suspended from Kindergarten. They only wanted to follow their algorithim and they would not deviate from it. We ended up dealing with self-esteem issues because of it too. I stuck the year out only becasue we are a military family and I knew we would be moving to Colorado, but I think if you don't have the option of moving like we did I would find him a new school. It sounds like this particular administration has already pigeon-holed him. They have already decided what they think about him. There are schools that will work with you. There are schools that will do whatever testing you ask for, and then work with your son right where he is. My prayers are with you, I know how hard this is. Hang in there, and make the best choice you can for your son.

go join ____@____.com
you will be amazed at the supportive
atmosphere there.
A.

Hi J.,
Sorry to hear of your school problems. I know it can be frustrating dealing with the school system. Unfortunately, I can't give you any advice on how to make them help your son. I do know that my daughter was also very slow at reading. She always got 100% on her AR tests, but it took her a long time to finish a book. One thing I found that helped her so much was getting books on CD. She would read along with the CD and I could not believe how much that improved how fast she read. I talked to her teacher when she was in 4th grade and she was ok with her doing that. Now she is in 5th grade and although she still reads a little bit slower, she just reads an extra 10 minutes a night. Our public library has a lot of the AR books on CD that we check out. I hope this helps you. Good luck with your school.

You just descirbed my little brother! like to the "T" and I think you REALLY need to get his eyes checked by a pediatric eye dr who specializes in vision therapy. and as for the 504 get one! I don't care if the vp doesn't want the paper work it's that paper work that forces the schools hand in giving you what your child needs. My brother has one and it allows him more time on tests and he gets to type all of his papers (his handwriting is horrible too) so he gets better grades on all of his papers because the teacher isn't mad that they can't read it. His small motor skills are still not great (i've never met such an uncordinated kid in my life)
But the biggest thing for him was his reading. He was behind all the time and as it turns out, when he would read his eyes would make the words move across the page as he read and he'd loose his place or turn letters around and then he didn't understand what was happening in the book. and a LOT of times he wouldn't even see small connecting words like "and, the, is, etc" he just couldn't see them at all. After tons of work on my moms part and his he did the vision therapy and he loves to read now (he's in highschool) and it was the best thing ever! if you happen to live in Ft. collins area I know an EXCELLENT dr who does this and i'd be happy to give you her name. best of luck!

Oh my gosh. You need to go to your school board or the head of your school district. That is ridiculous. My son has had the same issues....we now homeschool. But by law for the no child left behind if a student is slow in areas or is easily distracted they can be tested at your request. They are suppose to provide special testing for children that are slower than others and are easily distracted. They get extra time and they also get more days to do their testing. My son hates reading also. The only way to get him to read is if he picks out the book. If going to the head of your board or school district does not work....which it will trust me....I would try to send him to another school. By law they have to help your child according to the "NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND ACT" this makes me mad.....I feel sorry for you. This is why I am now homeschooling my 6th grader. Hes learning more and 1 on 1 is better for him. Good luck with this.