Down After Daughter's Doctor's Appointment

Updated on March 06, 2010
W.S. asks from Kennesaw, GA
12 answers

I just returned from my daughter's 2-year well-child visit with her doctor and I am totally bummed. This is my only child and I know that I am a little over-protective, but I felt awful after I left there. She had not seen her doctor since her 18 month check-up and I don't call the doctor's office just for anything, so I had compiled a list of some questions since that last visit that I wanted to ask her doctor. It ended up being a little long and I tried not to look so anal with my questions, but they were genuine concerns I had and wanted answered. The doctor talked to us a bit and then examined my daughter and talked a little more. I incorporated my questions that pertained into our conversation. However, not all questions had been answered when she was finished examining my daughter, so I looked over my list and started asking questions. I could tell the doctor seemed to get a little short and quick with me like my questions were a bother. I KNOW that they have a full schedule and that there are other patients that need them as well, but you don't get very long with them to begin with. I tried to be as brief as possible while still asking what I felt I needed to know. Before I could ask her my last question she quickly ended our appointment and exited the room. I really do like this doctor and the group she is with, but I felt so depressed when I left. I felt like she looked at me as someone who just is anal about my care for my child. I feel like my doctor is someone that is qualified to give me good advice and answer my concerns. I am new to Georgia and don't have any close friends here to talk to or anyone else that is close to me wth children and could offer their advice. I just wanted to put this out there and see if I was the only one that has these feelings. I feel so unsure of myself sometimes when it comes to raising my daughter and doing what is best for her. She is the most important thing to me.

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M.R.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi W.,
If you dont mind me asking where do you live here in GA. I have had that feeling too with my son who is also 2. However at my appt the nurse asks me if I have any questions and then my doc will look over the sheet of paper with my questions and quickly answer them. If you are not getting the attention you need you may need another doc. What is the name of the practice you go to. I am a sahm too, but unfortunantly I may have to o back to work as I cant find anything legitimate to do from home. I would like to have another baby, but conviencing my hubby is another story. If you are near woodstock, we could get the kids together and I have some other moms from gymboree that we go to that we get together with as well.
M.

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K.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

I agree with Amanda K., nurse practitioners are much more thorough and compassionate in my experience. I always request a CRNP (certified registered nurse practitioner). good luck, and I would be annoyed also.

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J.

answers from Atlanta on

I feel for you. I, too, have shared the same experience..........and it meant enough to me to change pediatricians. My definition of a good pediatrician is one who will take the necessary time to answer any and all questions and to make the parent feel as though their concerns matter. Really, pediatricians have 2 patients -- the child and their parent. Both matter, both count, and both are important. Questions that we as parents need to ask could prevent future illnesses, and being proactive is the best way to avoid possible sickness. Kudos to you for being an anal Mom! I'm one, too, and I think our children get the best care. Good luck to you.

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M.F.

answers from Atlanta on

I have had that experience also with Doctor's and have just changed I have worked hard to find Doctor's that work well with me and my child (our needs). I wouldn't call and talk to any of the staff about the Doctor in a negative way you must remeber that they work for the Doctor and they probably won't share your view point. They staff also will tell the Doctor what you have said and may make it sound worse then it really is. Remember a Doctor's office can refuse to see you and tell you to get another Doctor if you feel your needs aren't getting met. I complained to an office manager once in Fl an OB/GYN office and they sent me a certified letter stating that they would not be my Doctor anymore and wanted to know where to forward my records. My experience with that was I went to a new Doctor and told them I had not seen one before I figured if the old Doctor's office felt negative about me they would share that with the new Doctor and I would of set my path for even more of a bad experience. I suggest you try one of two things go back and see how your next visit is and limit your questions to say 3 or 4 or just move on to another Doctor's office they someone has had a good experience with and if asked why you are changing Doctor's simple state the hours are better or the drive is closer find a reason that isn't a personal attack. Listen all the Doctor or staff seems to know one another with some type of dealings with each other at some point so it's best in my experience to leave on good terms. I've lived in Georgia for 5 yrs now and it's hard to make friends unless you are out working SAHM's most of the time are so busy taking care of every else's needs that we don't get much time to form to many new relationships I figure the older my children get the more of a chance I'll have to make friends. Good luck with whatever you deceide and one last thing I have found more answers reading and off the web for my children, to me the Doctor's don't always know what's best or give enough detail.

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A.F.

answers from Atlanta on

I would be upset, too. My son's doctor is great and will spend as much time in the room with us as we want. If he has to do something that may hurt DS a little (such as putting his elbow back into its socket), he stays in the room until DS isn't mad at him anymore, no matter how long it takes. He also encourages questions. If you feel you were rushed, I'd either discuss this with your doctor at the next visit (maybe there was a reason, such as an emergency), or find a new doctor. Your child's health is your number one priority, so not getting all your questions answered is not acceptable.

K.Q.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think this is completely normal to feel this way. Especially since it's your first child. You have nothing else to base off the experiences you are having. It's being a good mother. Honestly, this does not seem like the right doctor for you if she wouldn't even answer the concerns you had. You shouldn't have to feel guilty to ask genuine questions you have concerning your child. And yes they have to see a lot of people, but at the same time, you aren't seeing her for free and you are paying for the services one way or another. That's really too bad that you had to experience that. I would try and find another doctor who really cares about you and your daughter.

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A.D.

answers from Atlanta on

Greetings W.,

I had the same thing happen when my son was born. We went through no less than four pediatricians during his first two years of life. This may seem unrealistic, BUT I was not going to be hearded in and out of an office like so many cattle.

I finally found a wonderful doctor who took the time to fully answer my questions and concerns and couldn't be happier. I have confidence in the doctor and the nurses on staff. They actually know my child's name without having to look at his chart. I don't know if this is the solution for you, but you at least know that you are not alone in your feelings.

Be blessed!

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S.P.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I always had a lot of questions about my first child.....I was recomended two great books by a friend.....they may help you out a bit and answer some of your questions without having to rely on the pediatrician. Dr. Spocks book (there are a few different varieties out there - I got mine at Barnes & Noble ) and the other is "Caring for your baby and young child Birth to Age 5".....by Steven Shelov, MD, Robert Hannemann, MD....it is a book by the American Academy of Pediatrics. I got my copy from Publix - free when I joined the baby club. These have been a great help for me in knowing what is supposed to happen at what stage and what types of things I need to be working on with my kids.

blessings!!

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A.L.

answers from Atlanta on

You know what gets me about this situations (not at all unusual), is that yes you get poor service, you feel unadecuate, and they answer only part of your questions, BUT we CAN"T just pay "part" of their bill...Some dr just make you feel like they are doing US a favor and dismiss or belittle our concerns and are quick to rush out the door, yes there are others patients waiting, but I bet you those patients feel the same way, so is not about rushing out to provide others in "more need" a great service, is to book as much as they can and collect as much as they can, for some of them is all about money...I am sorry to say it...but I think we have enough evidence to support that...
You shouldn't have felt that way, he/she should have answer all your questions, there is not other way about it in my opinion. Yes we DO need them, but they ALSO need us...don't forget that, there are plenty of other practices and I understand that with some INS people don't have much to choose from, but if possible I beleive that you should; number one, address the issue with them, and if still not satisfy, you should "shop" for a different practice. I know that you can set up an interview with them to assest if they would meet your needs and standars...like I've said before, we are our kids' voice and advocates, and they deserve the best care we can get them.

A.

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A.K.

answers from Atlanta on

If it helps, I go to Northside Pediatrics on Towne Lake Parkway in Woodstock. I always ask to see the Nurse Prac. (her name is Sarah and she is GREAT). I have found that the N.P.'s will take all the time you need and answer all questions without rushing you. Hope this helps!

A.

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D.F.

answers from Atlanta on

That stinks. How have your questions been answered prior to this appointment? When we see the doctor, the nurse always asks me if I have any questions before the doctor even comes into the room. I say yes and give her my list. She puts it in my chart and the doctor always answers questions off my list - completely. An idea might be to provide your list before the actual exam starts. Or when you make your appointment, tell them that you have several questions that you don't want to be rushed through. Nobody knows your daughter better than you do. While the doctor's time is limited, you should still be given the time you deserve but you also need to ask for that time.

Just my thoughts!!! I'm sure you are doing a great job. Don't doubt yourself!

D.

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L.T.

answers from Atlanta on

W.,

It sounds like you are a very caring, involved parent. Keep up the good work!

Like another responder, at the practice I go to, the nurse asks if I have any questions, and I give her a list (sometimes 8 or 9 items). I feel this is an important part of the well-child visit.

If I were you, I would call and ask to speak to the office manager, and then explain what happened at your last visit. I would also politely explain that you expect more and are willing to change practices if your needs are not being met (only if you ARE willing to do this).

I go to PAMPA, which has an office near Sandy Plains and Piedmont in Marietta (among others), but that may be too far you. I have been taking my daughter there for 10 years and we love their doctors!

Good luck, and enjoy that redhead!

L.

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