Down for the Night

Updated on February 15, 2007
D.G. asks from Coatesville, PA
21 answers

We have been putting my 4 1/2 month old son down for the night around 10:15 or so. He gets cereal and his bottle right before. I hear others talking about their children go to bed around 8. Are we putting Ethan down too late? When we put him down, he usually sleeps through the night or will last until 3 or so. We get up around 545 for work so we usually wake him up at that time. We tried putting him down earlier but he was up a lot.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your suggestions. I think that we will keep doing as long as it is working for Ethan and us! Thanks again...

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J.B.

answers from Scranton on

As long as he seems well-rested, go with the flow!

I second the recommendation to look into the problems with cereal in a bottle. It's a choking hazard, and not the most nutritious thing to be giving him, and he's a bit young to have anything other than breastmilk or formula. The AAP recommends a minimum of 6 months for solids to reduce the risk of leaky gut, allergies, and other digestive issues later in life.

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M.T.

answers from Scranton on

I Don't Think You Are Putting Him Down To Late. As He Gets Older You Can Move His Bedtime Up To An Earlier Time. It Is Best To Keep Him On A Routine. Babies Function Better That Way.

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S.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It sounds like its work for you and Ethan, so I wouldn't worry. My kids both basicly made there own schedules, and they would changs every few years. He probably will go to bed earlier as he gets older.

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A.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I put both of my boys to bed around that time when they were under 4 months. But I found that sometime around 4 months, when they were pretty organized with a daily nap schedule (morning, afternoon, and a dinnertime short nap) I could start moving their bedtime up a little earlier each night until it was where I wanted it, about 8:30. But you may be happier with a later schedule. Whatever you decide, stick with a schedule and just adjust as the baby gets older, and drops a nap at a time. If you stick with a bedtime routine and schedule now then you will have fewer problems later on. That's what I did and my kids are great at bedtime now (41/2 and almost 2). Good luck.

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E.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi D.~
My 20 month old son goes to bed on the late side also. He's always gone down to bed around 9:30. All of the experts say that babies should be in bed around 7:30-8, but that doesn't work in our house.
Is your son a big napper? On a good day my son will take two 3 hour naps. He doesn't wake up from his second nap until 6:30ish. I think you just need to do what works best for you and your baby. If your son sleeps well and seems well rested than he should be just fine. Plus, having a later bedtime gives you more time to spend together!

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H.T.

answers from Philadelphia on

D.,
Bedtimes are really a personal choice. My son's both go to bed around 6pm when they are before a year old. My two year old goes down at 7pm now, but my six month old is fighting on sleeping though the night so far. hehe
As long as they are getting the proper amount of hours a day, that's what really matters. Here is a chart that has the suggested hours they need.
http://www.babycenter.com/general/toddler/toddlersleep/76...
I would actually advise you to look into the health risks and poor eating habits putting creal in the bottle can cause, above worrying about the bedtime.
H.

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K.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I am a strong believer in what works for your family. My 2yr old used to go to bed early without problems. As she became older (or we put her in a toddler bed) she would stay up later. Then I had my second daughter when my oldest was 15.5 months. That really messed up her schedule. We would fight her constantly to go to bed at 830-900. We even tried staying in the room until she fell asleep. It worked great for a few weeks then was up constantly through the night. Now she falls asleep in our bed anywhere between 830-10. Depending on the day and how tired she is. We stopped fighting her and allowed her to make the choice. She has the rest of her life to be on a schedule. I do however stay home with my kids, so the schedule is not as important.

Now my youngest who is now 9 months old, sleeps very well. When she was around 5-6 months, I could not give her her last bottle until after 8pm. Otherwise she would wake up one time for a feeding. But she is now through that.

Babies do change their own routines alot. I feel to let them tell you when they are tired and you will have a better night sleep yourself. Good luck!

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K.M.

answers from Washington DC on

That was EXACTLY how my son was up until recently! In fact, he went to bed even later...around 11:30. And I too, would try to put him down earlier, but, when I did, he was up many times a night, where as, if I stuck to the 11:30, he slept through the night beautifully! I remember feeling self conscious when other moms would talk about 7:30 bedtimes. When people would ask what time Nathan went down for the night, I felt like I had to have an explanation attached to it, because I would constantly get funny looks. It was working just fine for our family, but, I asked his pediatrician about it anyway and she assured me that it was perfectly normal! No two babies are alike. Just as they differ in personalities, they also differ in schedules and routines and the like. That is why it is frustrating when people come out with these books, insisting that there is one specific way to raise your child "properly". Alot of parents will read these books and do what I call "trying to fit a square peg into a round whole". Their baby is nothing like what is being described and so they feel like they have to try and make it work. And it's not because we parents are stupid or can't think for ourselves, but, because when you are a parent for the first time, you feel incredibly vulnerable and scared that you might screw up. But, just because our babies aren't doing what most babies do, doesn't mean that they aren't healthy and happy and have great lives. After that conversation with Nathan's Dr, she told me something very important...to try and relax and trust my instincts! And that helped me more than I can say. You are his mommy! You know him better than anyone else and you know what works for your family! So keep up the good work! At that age, they sleep on and off all the time anyway, so it is not so important that they have a "bedtime". It's not like they have school the next day. :) And it will gradually move up... Nathan is now 20 months old and he goes to bed between 9 and 9:30 now.... Still sleeps through the night, until around 8:30 and takes regular naps during the day! I'm sure by the time he's in school and his bedtime matters more, we will have been able to gradually move it up to where it needs to be! Until then, as long as your child is getting enough rest, that is all that matters. The specific time frame in which that rest takes place, is not important!!

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S.W.

answers from Washington DC on

We are in the same boat! Then again we put our 5 year old to bed at 9, pjs on at 8:30. We have friends that put their kids to bed at 7. There's NO way in our house! My husband doesn't get home from work until 6:30. He would never see his kids during the week if they went to bed that early, not to mention the family dinner. We like to eat around the table and we have late suppers (about 7-8) because of my husband's schedule. He doesn't want to walk right in the house after an hour commute and sit right down at the table. He needs to relax first. Our 5 month old goes to bed inbetween 10-10:30 every night and sleeps until 5 and some times later. If we put him to bed any earlier he would most definitely wake up during the night. I think it really depends on what works best in your home. This is what works best for us. We could never keep with our friend's schedules. I really don't think it's a big deal until they are a little older and you notice them getting crankier or fusy earlier in the evening, then you may want to change to a earlier bedtime.

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J.Y.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I have 3 kids and all have different sleep habits and needs. Alanna slept constantly as a baby - down at 8, up betweeen 9 and 10. Grace at 3 does not go to bed until 9 and is up with the chickens. My 1 yr old is somewhere in between- though I can tell you we weren't sleeping all night at 4 1/2 months. Luck of the draw I'm afraid.

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Y.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

It doesn't really matter what time you put him down as long as he gets 10-12 hours of sleep or more in a 24 hour period.

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S.G.

answers from Pittsburgh on

At this point in your son's life what time he goes to bed and does anything else needs to go with your schedule. When my kids were this young they went to bed late because it worked for us. Now that they are older however they need to go to bed much earlier. Don't worry what other parents are doing. If his sleep schedule works for your schedle and needs thats all that matters. I hope I could help.....good luck!

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B.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

I say hey if it works for you than go for it. There is no wrong or right time to put them down for bed.

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J.L.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi I know what you are going through, my little one just turned a year on sunday. She was up and down all the time. We too get up early for work and I wasnt getting any sleep. She would do just like yours, hear the other kids and get up or be up at 12, 1, 2 in the morning. Once I started putting her down later she started sleeping all night so I dont think it is too late at all and as they get older we can adjust the times. I think we are both on the right track here.

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T.G.

answers from Dover on

Hi D.! I want to let you know that I believe you are fine with the 10 p.m. bedtime. I have 3 kids (ages 10, 7 & 2). They all had different bedtimes as babies. My oldest would never fall asleep before 10....no matter what I did. Once I decided to let her stay up til 10, she slept much better. My middle one fell asleep at 6 p.m. every night and would sleep for 12 hours. Nothing I did could change that either. As long as they are getting the minimum amount of sleep required in a day, which varies and does include nap times, then it doesn't matter what time you put him down. To this day, my oldest will not fall asleep before 10. Because she is in school, she has to be ready for bed at 8. However, no matter what routine we have tried...she still does not fall asleep before 10. That is just her time. She still gets 9 hours of sleep, which is ok for her age. She gets up in the morning and does fine in school.
Point of the story...as long as your son seems to be doing better with that bedtime and is getting the required amount of sleep throughout the day....it is perfectly ok to wait til 10 to put him to bed. Enjoy!
T.

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K.P.

answers from York on

My daughter will be 5 mos old today. She drinks four 8 ounce bottles a day and has her last one at 8pm and then goes down and doesnt make a peep untill 7am. I am blessed though, she is my 3rd child. I have 2 boys and neither of them did that. they were up all hours of the night. different all the time. I will admit is is nice to have her stick to a schedule and know when she will go down and get up with out a question. I f you want your son to go to bed earlier, try putting him down 15 min earlier each night. He will adjust. I have a 2 yr old who willnot go to bed untill i do. He will stay up untill 11pm if i do and that is no fun. Good luck!

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J.K.

answers from York on

that's about what time we put our 4 month old to sleep and he only wakes up about once at 3-4am. then he's up for the day at like 7:30- 8:00am. i feel as long as your baby is happy and gets good naps during the day then he should be fine.

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S.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think your son is a little young to be worrying about the bedtime, but I do have to say that I had no clue about bedtimes with babies when my first was born. I too was letting my daughter stay up until 11pm because that's how I thought it should be. I then read somewhere that they should be going to bed earlier likie 8pm and I tried it and it has stuck ever since. My daughter is almost 5 and goes to bed at 8pm everynight and sleeps about 12 hours. I consider myself lucky with that. I think right now it's important that you stick with a routine, and maybe each night try putting him down a little earlier each night so within a week or two he's going to bed early no problem. Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Do what's right for you and your family. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing. I have four kids and my youngest (twins) are almost 2 1/2. They go to bed at 9:30 even though their much older sisters go to bed at 9:00. This works for my family. It gives us a half hour of quiet quality time with the youngest. They sleep through the night and wake up around 8:30. This gives me and my husband the opportunity to get ourselves ready in the morning, drink coffee, make lunches, get the older kids out the door to the bus, etc. Actually, 9:30 is the earliest we've ever put them to bed. We are slowly trying to get all kids on the same schedule, but we're in no rush because it's working.

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H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It sounds like having Ethan go to sleep at 1015 works for him...and you. Every baby's clock is set differently. There are no right or wrong answers - depends on situation and the people. I think the most important thing is the consistency and routine. As he sleeps longer or is acting more tired in the earlier evening, you might know he needs to go to sleep a little earlier.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

What does it matter what time other people put their kids to bed?? It seems like it works for you guys to put him down at that time. How is he during the day, his mood? And how is he about his naps?

My 2y/o son is in bed at the latest 8pm every night, he's a child of routine. He's up every morning by 7 at the VERY latest. He naps every day for 1-2 hours at 1pm.

My 15m/o daughter on the other hand. She will not go to bed until after 930, but most the time it's closer to 1030/11!!! We have to wake her up at 730 in the morning at the latest or she'll be up even later. And we also don't let her sleep any longer then 90minutes for her nap at 1pm... We've tried putting her down earlier it don't work... We've just found that waking her when he do works for her!

I mean he's your child and whatever it is that works for your family do it!!

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