Drinker Vs. an Alcoholic?

I heard a very wise person once say, 'if one is worried they might have a drinking problem than take 6 months off from it completely and see what happens.'

This came up on here a little while ago, here is the link to the question and the responses:

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/4995201202858950657

(Riley J.'s response to that question is brilliant.)

I think it really comes down to how much are you in control, or how much is alcohol controlling you. Having or wanting a drink once in a while is perfectly fine. Even having a drink or 2 a day is okay, as far as I am concerned. But if you were in the habit of having a glass or 2 of wine each night, but then realized one night you were all out, how would you feel?

It has been my experience that with alcoholic's that once they start drinking it becomes impossible for them to stop. For example, they can just have a glass of wine or two with dinner, it becomes the whole bottle.

I beleive the difference is when a person looses control. For example a person who has one or two drinks a night, may just be a drinker or could be an ahcoholic. The person who cannot live without, changes their mood, etc, if that drink is not available every night is an alcoholic.

There is a test (I'm beleive it was developed by AA) with 10 questions that help you to identify if a person has a problem.

You will get a lot of opinions...

My opinion?
A social drinker is someone who has a few with friends but does NOT "need" it.

An alcoholic is someone who cannot go without a drink. MUST have a drink. Sneak it at work, have several at lunch...

For example - my former fiance/first love? Goes through a 5th of bourbon a day. It doesn't affect him anymore - and he's needing more than a 5th. He admits he has a problem. His first drink of the day? Bourbon in his coffee. He's tried several times to get sober - but for some reason cannot find the reason WHY he drinks. He says "I think I am better with alcohol"...he knows it's wrong. His wife? She's scared. She's trying to keep him sober but everyone knows you can lead a horse to water but can't force him to drink it.

When you call in sick to work because of alcohol? You have a problem. When you cannot go a day, even a few hours, without a drink - you have a problem.

Short answer: when alcohol is affecting your life, you might have a problem.

You can also look at:
http://www.aa.org/subpage.cfm?page=71

A brief quiz that might help you determine if you have a problem.

p.s. No O. here can answer this question as it relates to you and your life. Only you can answer this for yourself.

I wish I knew a sound bite that would help you. I have had people tell me that my husband and I are alcoholics because we brew beer. Brewing beer is like chemistry got together with cooking and had a kid. It is fun and a hobby and if you look at the time and expense no alcoholic would wait that long for beer. 5 dollars and five minutes gets you a fifth of vodka from the grocery store, or 100 dollars and six months get you five gallons of Belgium Dubbel. If you want to get drunk you are going for the vodka right?

Another reason I have been called an alcoholic is I will, unless my husband stops me, drink a bottle of Port in one evening. Sorry but Port with Stilton and water crackers is better to me than the most decadent dessert on earth. I will eat it like someone may go into their favorite ice cream. It is the flavor, not the buzz. Plus all it takes is Troy going, going for seconds for me to realize what I am doing and then I grab a diet.

I will also binge on toffee, does that make me a toffeeaholic?

At least to me the difference is could you stop without it effecting your life. If there was no more alcohol on earth I really wouldn't care. I still have my toffee. :)

Riley had an amazing answer a few weeks back. Yup it is in that link. :)

Alcoholism is Addiction. They cannot stop.
A drinker, drinks but can stop and is not irrational about it nor does it affect their life or impedes it or destroys it. And they don't hide their bottles.

One is an Addict. The other is not.

Like we used to say in my sorority in college: the difference between an alcoholic and a drunk is that alcoholics go to meetings!

But seriously, I don't think your drinking habits qualify as a drinker OR an alcoholic. It doesn't sound like you drink enough to give it any thought (if you didn't have an alcoholic parent, that is). Maybe you think more about it because of that.

There is nothing wrong with a drink every once in a while and enjoying yourself. Since you are able to stop after a drink or two I would not consider it a problem. Having an alcoholic parent is always a concern, but sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

I'm related to alcoholics. After doing some social drinking in college, I decided not to drink at all because I didn't want to fall into that hole and I did want to model not drinking for my children.

It's true that some people want a drink and other people *need* a drink. But you need to connect that with other clues. For instance, a person who says, "I can take it or leave it alone," but always takes it when it is take-able, may reasonably be suspected of having a problem, whether it shows up in public behavior or not. The problem - like any other problem - is there before other people see it.

I don't think you're paranoid at all.

The AA list (linked below) of questions is a good one.

I also like the quote attributed to Katherine Hepburn as to why she didn't drink alcohol: "Cold sober, I find myself fascinating."

When alcohol messes things up in your life. Like you start to look like you have edema from drinking, but wont cut back. Getting a dwi but continue to drink and drive. Its late and you HAVE to go out and get booze. You buy beer instead of diapers. You drink to forget things too often. You have to have a buzz to do something specific.

etc etc..

Alcohol is a great social lubricator and stimulant or relaxant. it is good at numbing pain and erasing shyness. This is why it can be addictive, anything that achieves desired results can be addictive.

I think the line is definitely on a case by case basis.

The brief definition of an alcoholic is when the person's drinking interferes with their daily life. Not as they think but as the people around them think.

It depends. In the states, if you drink more than 3 a day or a few times a week you are considered an alcoholic. In Ireland or England, you are a drinker.

When alcohol starts interfering in negative ways with your life, then you have a problem. I get drunk a few times a week. I am not an alcoholic. I am a drinker. If I were to get drunk every day, then we may have a growing problem, but drinking a bottle of wine with hubby on a Saturday night with a nice dinner, or having some wine on "hump day," isn't that big of deal. In fact, doing it 5 times a week isn't that big of a deal (though it isn't good for my health!). If I start needing alcohol to function, then I'd be worried.

I think that when the drinking becomes a problem, and it continues you can be classified an alcoholic.
My step father was what I'd call a functioning alcoholic. He never missed work, but the MINUTE he got home he drank until he passed out. On weekends, he had a beer in his hand no later then noon, and drank again until he passed out. He drove hammered all the time. We'd find him passed out in his truck in the driveway, in the yard, on the porch. He never got pulled over, once. It amazes me to this day. But times were different then I guess. Thank god he never hit anyone!
Anyways, sounds like you have nothing to worrying about. Drinking occasionally to relax, or with a dinner out is perfectly fine. It's when it turns into a daily thing or you're drinking to get drunk, then there's aproblem

I agree with pror posts but will add something too...

An alcoholic is someone who needs to drink regardless of the time of day or setting. And yes, it usually does come to a point where it interferes with their responsibilities.

However, there are a lot of "high functioning alcoholics". These are like the people whoget drunk at work functions - meetings, after work events, sales dinners, etc. In these cases it's "socially acceptable" to drink, often. They may never feel drunk and it may not knowingly affect their lives since its just part of their everyday/lives. They usually have a very high tolerance and have lots of experience being drunk in public situations. They might even think that alcohol helps them to relax, take the edge off or even be a better salesperson.

If you have a drink or to relax or unwind, I'd say, many people do, it's a positive side effect of the alcohol. Does it make you an alcoholic, I think that depends on how often, how much and if it affects your life. Do you "sleep in" not tending to your kids? Do you call in sick to work after finishing a bottle of wine? Do you drive home afterwards putting others risk?

If you NEED it to unwind, I'd still say its an addiction. Maybe not rehab worthy, but something to be aware of and try to get under control.

I have lived with an alcoholic - both high functioning and falling down drunk. I think the biggest factors of "negative drinking" is if you NEED it to function or get through the day, a meeting, etc. Then it really is controlling you.

Three or more drinks daily and you have an alcoholic on your hands. One drink a day not so bad. I understand where you are with drinking. I usually have one glass per week.
Like you I had an alcoholic parent so I am very conscious about how much people are drinking in my presence.

I think an alcoholic is someone who has to have that drink....to fit in socially, to be able to relax, who feels the drink is deserved, who cannot walk away from the drink, to hit the dance floor....& many more.

**I think an alcoholic is someone who drinks 1 drink a night, every night...
**& also someone who drinks 10 drinks a night -whether it's once a week or once a month -that's binge drinking...
**& also someone who has one drink & then never stops...day after day.

**I have many family/friends who fit the 1st criteria. They have to have that nightly drink to relax or feel they deserve it.
**I have many family/friends who fit the 2nd. Hmm, my son...my niece...all still fit into that early 20's mindframe. My sis, too. What a shame! I'm trying to convince them that you can still have ALL of the fun, without the booze....whatever. :) There are many examples within our circle of non-drinkers having the same fun....without being drunk.
**& my grfather fit the last criteria: one drink at Christmas set him up for a year of drinking. & it eventually killed him.

Do I drink? Yes, an occasional drink...a glass of wine at Christmas...a wine-high last night. I had 2 beers from a sampler....over the course of the past 8 weeks. The Christmas wine was our traditional family toast. The wine-high was simply because it looked good - & it was the leftover bottle from Christmas. The 2 beers were because I love trying new things...whether it's food, drink, or fun. Love splitting samplers with my son!

I truly believe if it's just one here/there...it's not an issue. But if you think you have to have it....or it's required to fit in....or you can't stop until you're buzzed.....then that's an issue. :)

Having an occasional drink or two is no big deal (IMO). I only have a drink or two once every six months to a year or more but I hate the taste of alcohol. Additionally, I have several alcoholics in my family and have seen them be stupid when drunk plus I have a child to take care of so I see know reason to be DRUNK.

A girl I used to work with only drank occassionally but quite a bit when she did. She was told by her doctor that she is a binge drinker which completely surprised her.

My exhusband's father is an alcoholic (hasn't drank since I have known him though). My ex has told me that he "gets a taste for it" so if he drinks today he "wants to have more" for a few days after.

From what you described, it would seem that your "want" to drink is definately a sign of "alcoholic-like tendancies" even if you are not an alcoholic at this time. I would say it is ok to have a drink or two once every once in a while but be aware of how you think and act so you know when you need to stop at any given time or stop completely.

That "need" is very much the same as the "want" you were asking about.

You don't sound like an alcoholic. Would you think anyone else who only drank two drinks twice a week (or not), or out with friends occasionally, who had never once blacked out, and really didn't mind not drinking was an alcoholic? That's the absolute poster child for very mild, responsible drinker. Good work being aware, but if this is accurate, you have no worries!

I think that if a person can't get through the day emotionally without a drink to bolster them or sit for the evening and just enjoy being home then they may have a dependency and may need to consider talking to someone who is an alcoholic. I know I am a social drinker, according to a study done at Kansas State University. I only drink when I am out and about, say...in a night club. And then if I choose to drink an alcoholic drink it is usually the only one or else I'd be poured into the car to go home...lol.

I like Colorado Bulldogs:
http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink2952.html

Or a Fuzzy Bear:
http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink9232.html

In some places they are interchangeable, the bartender doesn't know the difference so they can be called the same thing. But Vodka, Kahlua, Coke, and some milk tastes like a yummy float.

My uncle was an acoholic and he "needed" a drink the minute he got up. It did not matter what time of the day it was, he always had some kind of drink in his hand. He was NOT a casual drinker which to me says he had a major problem. I think he is still trying to overcome his acoholism, but everyday is a new challenge for him.

My opinion is whether they "need" to or "want" to, the outcome is still the same. So I don't think there is a difference for that reason.

I think a lot of it comes down to WHY you drink..... do you drink to make problems go away or relieve stress, or to make you feel better?

It is good that you are so cautious... you've seen what alcoholism can do to a person.

I think you're smart. I am very similar. I had an alcoholic father and I like the way beer tastes. I know there is a long line of alcoholics in his family so I know to never get into the habit of drinking regularly. I know I'm not an alcholoic because when I drink its once a week (sometimes i skip a few weeks) and I only have 1 or 2 beers. Very rarely I'll drink more. Although I know i'm not an alcohlic I am very aware of the frequency I drink and would nip it in the BUD (pun intended) so to speak before it got out of hand, I think its rather sart to be aware of your enetics and your own enjoyment of it and to monitor it somewhat. J. dont be so paranoid and make it completely not fun. I'm sure you could let up a little and J. have your husband tell you if he ever thought you were in a danger zone.