Early birthday-Pre-k or Kindergarten

at beginning of my son's kindergaten year the teacher wanted him to be place in pre- k instead of kinder. We told her no! then the pre-school teacher told us that if he is five by september 1st he cannot be in pre-school. So we moved to another school district and he did great even made student of the week. He has now passed to first grade. so if that helps you a little bit. My son's birthday is aug. 15th he has never been in school before.

I know this can be a difficult decision, but let me throw in my $.02.

My husband and I were both classified "gifted" when we were kids. My birthday also made me borderline with regard to which grade I should be in. I was "held back" at my mother's request in spite of my advanced reading and math skills (she was a teacher by training) and was one of the oldest in my class. I had the classic "boredom" issues and was in trouble a lot the first few years, but then I was able to move into a gifted/talented program and I fluorished.

Meanwhile, my husband skipped first grade at the recommendation of his teachers/school because he already knew the material. He did fine in second grade and through elementary school, but being younger than his classmates caught up with him socially in middle school to the point that he actually became suicidal. It can be brutal if you're the only boy (or girl, for that matter) that still hasn't started the changes of puberty. Imagine a short, skinny boy with glasses in a locker room with boys who are all starting to get broad shoulders and to shoot up in height and to develop in other ways.

So even though both situations were difficult, I would take the boredom issues (which were resolvable) over the social issues in middle school (which were much more difficult to resolve) any day. Our son has a September birthday, which here automatically makes him the oldest in his class, but in North Carolina (where we come from) would have potentially made him the youngest, since their cutoff is October 15. We would NOT have wanted him to be the youngest in the class, based on my husband's experience.

To sort of confirm this, I had a conversation recently with the administrator of my children's preschool on this topic. I made the remark that I felt that maybe 10% of summer birthday children were really ready in every way to go into kindergarten. Her answer was that probably 50% were ready for kindergarten, but that it would catch up with them socially in middle school, which is why she always recommends holding kids with summer birthdays back. I thought, WOW! That's EXACTLY what happened to my husband! But how wonderful to hear that kind of far-thinking wisdom from a preschool administrator!

Anyway, you now have my $.02.

B.

My daughter has an August birthday, as well as my step-son. She seems to have done better with maturity than he did, but that can be the difference between girls and boys. She has had a few issues with being the youngest (and smallest) but we've been able to work through those. I have a September birthday, so I was always one of the oldest, which had it's own problems, too--puberty onset months or even years before my friends, etc. I would suggest speaking with his teacher about your concerns, and see if there is any supplemental work you can do with him at home to get him comfortable with the challenge of kindergarten. With it being only half-day, it will likely be just fine. Just keep in mind that he may very well need to be retained, which at this age is so much better than later. I have seen more than one boy have to be held back in jr. high because of the maturity issue--that's usually when it shows up, not when the child is 5 or 6. That can be so difficult at an age that is already fraught with drama and hormones! Best wishes!

K.,

I am with most of the moms that have responded. I have a son that is now almost 9 but he started school when he was 5 and his b-day is June 27. He is also a bright boy and now gets all A and B's but let me tell you it has not been easy. The mom's that say it is a maturity thing are very right and yes kinder teacher's know what they are getting but why put him though it if you are even second guessing his maturity level. I also have a daughter that is will be 6 in Oct so I don't have to even think about her since she will have to go, but if her bday would of been summer I would have waited. And she is very mature for her age and also a smart little girl, I just know what I went through with her brother. I know every child is different but I didn't want my 2nd to suffer either. I have niece that has a little boy who just turned 5 and she decided not to send him because of the same reason. Of course it is your decision but if you are seconding guessing any part of your decision I would wait. But this is just my opinion.
W.

My youngest turns 5 August 26 & I'm keeping her in pre-K, doing a bridge class, & starting her in K the next year. All I have talked to for input on this say that bridge year for the youngest ones makes a huge difference in their maturity & readiness for K. Having taught in the vol. art program when my oldest was in K, and teaching to a group of very young K'rs..OMGoodness- it makes a difference! If nothing else- what can it hurt???? They can always move up if they are academically advanced, but not down- unless they fail or you then "hold them back."

D

I don't know where you live but have you looked into Fort Worth Christian (it's in North Richland Hills)... they have a "Developmental First" program that is a little more challenging than kindergarten and a little less than first grade.

My son's birthday is 5/28 -- so I put him in Fort Worth Christian's kindergarden program (it's all day, not half day like in Keller where we live), basically because it WAS an all day kindergarten... then instead of going to first grade, i put him in Developmental First there.. THEN transferred him out to a public First grade (hidden lakes)...so he went kindergarten, d-1 in private school and then to 1st grade at our local public school... I"ll do the same thing with my 2nd son.... because his birthday is in July

My mother in law did it with both her kiddos and said they may not really always understand but they'll have a year on everyone -- and with boys maturing slower than girls, you're giving them a great foundation...

Hi Kimberley,

I was in your "exact" same situation last year with my daughter. She turned 5 at the end of June so we thought she would do just fine going into Kindergarten.
(Even with a pre-school education in her past like your son)
We put her in a Christian Church school Kindergarten where there was only 8 kids in her class!
She did really good the first semester but when they started reading curriculum is when she started struggling and we knew it was best for her to start the Pre-K 5 class for the rest of the school year instead of rushing her and having a hard time in Kindergarten! Kindergartens supposed to be the best year of a child's life! : )

I had many sleepless nights trying to figure out what would be best but I'm sooo glad we put her in the pre-K 5.
Even the school director's son was a young 5 yr old and she put him in the Pre-K 5 class. He was already reading and very smart but she did it simply for the "maturity" reason like you stated.
It's not really saying they are too immature to start Kinder, just that the attention span is so much better when they are a little older and more mature.

Also, there was a mom in my daughters Kinder class this year who had a son that turned 5 in July. He completed the whole year of Kinder and at the end of the year we were talking and she said she's having him repeat Kinder since he wasn't mature enough.

I would strongly advise you to keep him in the Pre-K 5 for his 5 yr old year in school.
He will do SO much better going into Kinder being 6 rather than being the youngest one in Kinder.
It will only help him be more ready and they really seem to be doing SO much more work these days in Kindergarten.
I hope any of my advice helps and I hope you don't have many sleepless nights like I did over making your decision. : )

You seem quite proud of his accomplishments, and his previous years in preschool. If he enjoys school, and has learned so much, would you really want to risk his becoming bored and developing behaviour issues? Kindergarten teachers know there are new 5s in their classes. You have already done so much to prepare him for this time - why would you second guess yourself? You know your child best.

In many states parents do not have this option of holding their children back (in New York parents have actually been arrested for changing their children's birth certificates to keep them back). Unfortunately, this flexibility that we have in Texas, seems to cause many families much distress - and there is no research to defend most cases of keeping a child back.

You are the mom. Please carefully weigh what you perceive the benefits might be to keeping him back. I am sure you would not want him to be academically compromised - and possibly unchallenged for a school year.

I wish your child much success, whatever your decision.

As a former 4th grade teacher and elementary school librarian, I would encourage you to give your son another year. If later on you decide he is struggling, it will be harder on him to hold him back. Waiting a year will give him a chance to be more mature and confident, and will likely give him more confidence accademically and with his peers. He is so close to the age limit, and from my experience, boys who are very young within their grade level seem to have a harder time.
Best of luck to you!
A.

I subbed a lot at my son's preschool this spring and I have to say, there's a world of difference in the one's ready to go and the one's who weren't. It wasn't the "learning" part, they were pretty even there. I think you've got to go with your feelings on the maturity part.
My son has an early July birthday, but he's big for his age and is more mature than most kids that he's been around. He's been in preschool for 1 year and will be in this fall too (he's turning 4). Unless something really major changes, he'll go to kinder when he's 5. But, if he's not continuing to mature like he has been, I'll keep him in pre-k another year.
Go with your gut. I would rather hold him back going into kinder than later on. He's going to change schools going into kinder anyway, so it wouldn't be like watching all his friends move when he doesn't.

I think the answer really depends on the individual child and how they respond to situations. I think you'll need to try him in the situation your gut tells you would be best (sounds like you're leaning toward kindergarten), and see how he does. If he has trouble, you can always hold him back.

Some kids act out when they're bored...then again...other kids act out when they feel they can't keep up. Sounds like your son likes to be challenged, so kindergarten might be perfect for him!

I have 2 brothers, each with birthdays right on the deadline. One was pushed ahead...and that was great for him. The other was held back...and that was best for him.

Hope all that helps. I know this is a difficult decision. Just trust your instincts, and know you can always react and do something different and the end of the school year next year (meaning, you can hold him back or push him ahead at that time). This isn't your last chance to get it right.

Good luck. :-)

K.,

I am in the same boat with my daughter. Her birthday is Aug 24th. Educationally she is so ready to go and would be fine, but my thought is "fine" really good enough??? Emotionally she can use the extra year. I've talked to tons of parents and teachers about this. No body has ever said, I wish I had sent my kid on, instead they always say, I wish I had held them back and given them that extra year to develop. Every teacher I asked said to wait. The other thing is, do you want your child to be the youngest in the class? Think, if someone that had a boy in your position last year and held them back, he would be a full year older. Which may not be an issue now, but what about high school. Will he be 14 doing what a 16 year old is doing because he is that much younger than the kids in his class?

I know it is a very hard decision since we had to make it to. We decided to put our daughter in a 5 day pre-k program from 9-1.

Utlimately go with your gut!!! Good Luck!!
N.

I'll be a voice of difference :) I would go ahead and start him in Kinder -- especially since he has been in preschool so long. Kinder is the place to develop the maturity and the skills. If you hold him back, he will still have to mature into the Kinder program. Part of that lies in switching from a preschool/centers-based program to a kinder/instruction-based format.

I was an August birthday and did well and never felt "young" in my grade. I was glad to start school with my friends.

It is a tough decision, and you are right, there are differeing, strong opinions. My opinion is to give kids the chance to step up instead of expecting them to struggle before they even try. I think a large part of it will be your attitude as you move forward with your decision.

My hisband graduated high school and then turned 18 on August 11th. He has always complained that his parents did not hold him back. He never had problems in school with the work load or making and keeping friends, he was more shy and felt younger. He also went away to college on a scholarship after he graduated to play football, by the next year when he come home for the summer he had such a growth spurt in that year that he believes he could have been offered a better scholarship.
We are both teachers and don't really believe in holding back kids unless they need it. Our son is now 5, had a birthday in December, so he will start Kindergarten in August. I would think that yours would need to be held back but I would also make sure to find a strong Pre-K program he could attend 5 days a week (that is what I did).

My daughter turned five on August 11th and eight days later started kindergarten. She did wonderfully even though she was the youngest in her class (almost by a full year from the kids who had Sept. birthdays). There have been minor occasions where her youngness have had a little bit of negativity but mostly because other kids hurt her feelings so easily. Overall, we made the right decision to send her, she just finished the third grade and is on a 6th grade reading level, if we had waited, it would have been like one of the other moms said, she would have been way too far ahead and I think ignored so the teacher could concentrate on others reading below grade level. Boys are different, though, they can still have such a hard time controling their behavior so I would consider that foremost. Can your son sit and participate without being completely disruptive or having raging fits if he doesn't get his way? I taught 2nd grade so I didn't have too many problems with this but I have subbed in Kinder classes where it was OBVIOUS a kid shouldn't have been there yet. Kids like that can really bring down an entire class for an entire year, so if that' even remotely the case, give him another year.

we went through the exact same thing with our oldest, who will also be 5 in august. We finally decided, after seeking many friends/family/teacher opinions, that if we were even questioning it, we shouldn't start kindergarten. We heard many teachers say you will never regret not starting, but you may regret starting to early. It's a hard decision isn't it?! Ours is also really bright, but we are thinking just having a new teacher and set of friend next year will change it up enough to hold interest next year in pre-k instead of pushing kindergarten. From what I understand, the difference in maturity issues starts coming up around 3rd grade or so- at that point, if you have to hold him back to repeat a grade, it would be a very big deal. Good luck!

Our son has just completed 1st grade in Keller and will not be 7 until July so we were in the same position. Our son never attended any preschool or anything. I wish I could have waited one more year but I am glad I did not. I think he would have been so bored especially at the rate he was soaking up everything. He is not behind at all and has done very well, so i would say that it is worth the try. I do know that there were a few boys in my sons kindergarten class that started and after a few months decided to wait until the next year.. It was no biggie and those families just figured out that their kids were not ready. I wish you luck and I know it is not an easy decision.
A.

My son will turn 5 on August 22nd and he'll be starting Kindergarten. He wasn't in preschool, but I have had him in Pre K for the School district this past year, his last day is Thursday. Since it was with the school district, he had the same holidays as the other schools, etc, and only went for 3 hours a day. He LOVED it and he's SUPER smart. He's learned to write his first and last name, count to 100, write all the ABC's in upper and lower case, begginners reading. All in one year. I would recommend Pre K if I were you, just to get your child prepared. I mean, my son attended the school district Pre K in Saginaw and they learned all of this, so that is my understanding that they expect most children to have somewhat of this learned already.

I am in the same boat as you. My son also turns 5 in August. We decided to keep him back b/c he is so immature. He is very bright, writes, does simple math problem, starting to read, but the maturity thing I still have issues with. I have asked other moms all year long their opinions about their older kids with summer birthdays, and they agree holding back is prob best for an immature boy. I guess you can always hold him back later if he doesn't do well.

H.

As a former kindergarten teacher, I would say that you know your child best. If you think he may be ready for kindergarten, go ahead and let him go. Kindergarten teachers are prepared for a wide range of ability and maturity levels. If at the end of the year, he still seems immature, talk to his teacher about retaining him in kindergarten. In my experience, holding children back in Pre-K or Kindergarten has been a positive experience. You are his parent and the only one who knows what is best for him at this point in his life.

It's quite the "trend" now to hold kids back for kindergarten, esp boys.... 2 things to consider- how big is he? A lot of boys are being held back before entering kindergarten, and if he's average or small at all, you might consider that.... b/c the boys in his class will be bigger than him. That won't matter now, but as he gets older (and if he plays sports) it will matter then. Also, I've never met anyone who regretted holding their son back; I've only met moms who have regretted sending their young sons to kindergarten. I taught kindergarten in my former life (before having kids!) and there was always a huge difference b/t the August birthday boys (youngest) and the September birthday kids (oldest). Kindergarten is now what first grade used to be= most kids are expected to be reading and doing some writing when they enter kindergarten. Sadly, it's not all centers and pretend play anymore. If you decide to hold him back, put him a great pre-k that meets 4-5 days per week and find some more social things to do with him, some fun outings like the Science Place, Dallas World Aquarium, and hiking trails.... once you start "real" school, you can never have this time back with him. :) Enjoy it! My son is in kindergarten this year, and he's very bright- he was reading chapter books, telling time, and doing addition/subtration before entering kindergarten- but, what has been incredibly important for him this year in kindergarten is social skills and how to follow directions, work independently, playing with others, etc... those are the most "important" skills- and his teacher has done a gret job of challenging him with enrichment work and computer skills/research to further him along- she also sends him to upper grades for "cursive writing" and other fun things for challenges... If you do hold your son back, don't be afraid that he'll be bored when he does hit kindergarten- remember it's the teacher's job to meet him at his level and she'll find ways to challenge him and meet his needs- you'll just want to really discuss this with her before school starts & as the year progresses. All of the kids entering kindergarten in his class will be on different levels and she'll be ready for that. :) Good luck!

I have to say that I would wait another year... totally my opinion.

My mother put me in early. I was the youngest girl in my class. I don't think I was mature enough when we all got older and things were happening to my classmates that weren't happening to me. I was not as confident as the other children in my class. It made me pass up opportunities that I regret now (summer internship in the White House). This followed me into junior college. I just wasn't mature enough.

That being said, I was valedictorian of my class. I received govern recognition for my academic contributions. So it is not the learning that would concern me.

I wish you the best in your decision. Only you know your child well enough to make it.

Jodi

Hi K.,
What if you enrolled him with the notion that he may repeat K? I have taught special ed for Keller and some of my students I was not sure how they would do in Kindergarten, but some of them absolutely surprised me and we were dealing with several issues besides maturity. I think you don't really know until you give your child a chance. Just a thought.

K.

I know that maturity wise he may not be ready for school but my mom was in the same situation. If he has been going to preschool for years now he is already far more advanced then the other kids in public schools because a lot of them did not have that opportunity that he has had. If you decided not to send him to kindergarten he may become even farther advanced then the kids in his class for the next year and then he will become bored and start acting out. However if you are enrolling in private schools it may be a good idea to hold him back because these schools are more one on one and they work more with your child's skills that they already have and this would allow him to mature. My son is in private school right now because of this reason. He is a very bright child but he is not challenged by the curriculum in public schools because he has been in preschool for so long. Also this is coming from a education majors perspective. I have observed at many schools and see the difference between private and public. I noticed that someone mentioned Montessori's schools and I would highly recommend these schools for a child like yours. My son would be going there but we really can't afford to send him. Hope this helps.

My son has a late july birthday. As far as I'm concerned he will go to kindergarten just after he turns 5. My decision is based on his personality. He has never fussed when I left him anywhere (gym child care, friends home, church nursery, preschool). I went to our kindergarten readiness meeting to see what I needed to do to prepare him. The biggest indicator is his ability to separate from you. We go full day so there's probably more to consider but for 1/2 day I'd look at his ability to separate, his ability to adapt to new situations, ability to share and be part of a group. If he's been in preschool for 3 years I would think he's more than ready for a new challenge. I'm a mid july birthday so I turned 18 after graduation and I had no problems. I never even heard of holding back a summer baby until I got to Texas. I'm sure it all relates to the emphasis on football but since I'm not interested in that I look at personality and readiness from that perspective. Good luck. It's a hard decision but you have to choose what you think is best for your son and stick with it.

My son's birthday is July 19th and he was in pre-school the year before due to speech therapy. He continued with speech therapy in Kindergarten and we saw vast improvement where he now exceeds in many learning areas. He was promoted to grade 1 with no reservations!!! Although he was second youngest in his class, his teacher thought he was at or above others that were older than him. If you think your son can handle it, I wouldn't recommend waiting until next year! Good luck!

Have you checked into a Montessori type school? They dont move up into kinder just because they turn a certain age, they are closely evaluatedn for maturity and readiness to go on to the nest grade. I am about to enroll my daughter in the Country Day School of Arlington, the Montessori Preschool.

Have you considered putting him a private kindergarten or 5 day Pre-K class. With the private kindergarten that gives you another year to see his maturity. If he needs to be held back, you can put him public kindergarten the next year, if not, you can put him in 1st grade.

Most of my friends who have summer boys (my older son is 5) are holding them back. Also, something to keep in mind. Once you put them into the PUBLIC school system, you cannot take them out if they are not adjusting well. He would HAVE to finish out the year no matter what!! With private you have more flexibility.

I know it's a hard choice. Have you talked to his teacher from this year? She may be able to give you some insight!! Good luck!!

Only you know your child best and if you're leaning towards kindergarten ( which it sounds like you are ), then I think deep down, you think he can handle it. I know girls are different than boys, but my daughter's bday is August 19, so she's right on the cusp too, and like your son, she's very bright. She's been in daycare/pre-schools since she was 8 weeks old. She's always been ahead of most of her peers and she already knows almost everything that will be taught in Kinder, but she struggles w/ controlling her emotions. So I totally understand your struggle as I've been there too. After months of debating both sides, I finally decided to send her to Kindergarten. I don't want her to bored next year and end up losing ground on what she's already learned. Plus, someone told me that even if she went to Private Kindergarten, she still needs to be 6 to enter first grade, so she'd end up repeating Kinder at public school. We spoke to her teacher and she agreed w/ us that she'll probably do ok. We went to the school for an orientation a couple weeks ago and she is very excited about going to a "big" kid school. I think it's the right decision for her and if it's not, she'll repeat Kinder, but at least we'll know that we tried.

I understand if you work and need him to go somewhere safe during the day, but I thought Texas law only requires 1st grade and up. My aunt is a specialist in child development (and works for the Texas public school system) and she has always told me and my sisters to keep our children home as long as we legally could. Because children pick up a lot of maturity and interest in learning from quality interaction with their parents.
Despite her advice my sister enrolled her son (he has an early b-day too) as soon as she could, and he doesn't seem to have any emotional problems. He's even in advanced classes now.
Also, I see no reason to hurry a child into K because of education reasons. You can teach young children a lot at home with all the resources we have available today.
Perhaps for socialization instead? But you can always do other activities instead of K. There are sports, preforming arts, art, play groups, and other children's activities you can enroll him in for socialization within his age group.
As for maturity being an issue, there have been studies done that show children who are the oldest in the classroom tend to be rated (by the teacher) as more advanced than the younger children.
They are really no more intelligent than their peers, just a little better at expressing themselves and controlling their emotions. But that is just an average.
Your son may not be average. If you think he has any problems in this area you can teach him how to express himself and control his emotions (we all know there are lots of parenting books on it). You could even do that while he's in Kindergarten to help him adjust to it.
So ask yourself these questions instead. Do you want to teach him at home or have someone else teach him? And for what reasons. Examine the quality of the education both at home and at a school, time, cost, social, and emotional reasons. Such as what can they teach him that you cannot. Will being with him all day drain you physically and emotionally, or is he a joy to be around all day? Do you think they would do a better job at teaching him and why?
Will a traditional classroom education teach him emotional maturity or will it stress him out? And how much is he attached to you? Sending him away all day may be a hard adjustment for him to make if he's not emotionally ready.
RPocai

My son just finished 1st grade and was the youngest in his class. Academically and maturity wise he is fine with the rest of his class. He excelled in his work and his behavior was no different than the boys older than him. (they are little boys and they would rather play than do classwork!)lol His teachers and baby-sitters have commented that he seems more mature for his age and his teacher even said that sometimes she has to remember his age because he carries on a conversation more like an adult. So that said, I don't think we made a mistake by sending him on, even though I worried about it in the beginning. The only problems we encountered so far are 1) When he was invited to a swim b/d party, you had to be 7 to get in the pool without an adult. So all his friends were in the pool but he had to have someone and that was embarrassing to him. But that's a very minor issue. 2) When all of his classmates were signing up for baseball this year, they all went to kid pitch. He was not old enough and was going to have to stay in t-ball again with the grade below him. Because we are a small area, they needed one more player to make a coach pitch team and they voted and allowed him to move on with his classmates. That really worried me before they decided to let him move up with his friends because it made him feel like he wasn't good enough. Even though the reason was just his b/d, he didn't feel that way. So he moved up and competed as well as all and better than most in the sport so he's happy and content and loves it. Now my next worry will be when they all move up to kid pitch. If they have plenty of players will they make him stay back at that time? That would be even worse b/c he will be older by then. I can say that he's a stronger little guy by having to compete with everyone a year older than him. We're very proud of him. So all of this said, (sorry so long!), even if your child is ready, there could be other extra-curricular activities that could affect everything. But I think over all those are more minor issues compared to being bored with work you already know. Even in first grade, he was more advanced than most in his class so holding him back would have been worse in my opinion. Good luck and hope this helps. M.

if you have a child, especially a boy with a birthday in the summer please reconsider before you place him in the 4 year old pre-school program. Also, if your son is a "young" 5 evaluate him before you enroll him into kindergarten. It is such a disservice to your child to "rush" him/her. A young boy especially (in most instances not all ) will be at a disadvantage in a 4 year old class. This is the majority of young boys. It is such an advantage to be the older and top of the class rather than be the one who is struggling because he is younger. This is so common. As a pre-school teacher, I see so many parents concerned with the "age" rather than the child's maturity and readiness. What is the rush? A child who is ready for preschool can benefit so much more than the one who has to struggle because mom or dad feel he should be there.