Easing Second Child into the Family

I don't think easing is the right choice of words. I brought the next one home and we went from there. It was more like jumping in the pool to see if I could swim.

I don't remember the second causing any changes to the first's schedule. If anything the second seemed to go along for the ride.

My son was born when my daughter was 2 years and 2 weeks old. My hubby worked Mon-Fri nights so I, too, was nervous about how to incorporate him into the mix in the evenings. My daughter had a fairly long/drawn out night time routine so I wans't sure how he'd fit into it. But it just worked out. He usually fell asleep or was content in the swing while I was putting her to bed. I bathed them together (after he was a few weeks old) - he in the baby tub, she in the regular tub, and from then on we did everything as a family. It worked out very well - he just kind of fit into our mold! I can tell you, though, when he was like three days old my daughter got sick and had thrown up all over her bed and my hubby was in there cleaning that up while I was changing the baby in the living room and it was pure chaos for a few minutes! But honeslty other than that, it just worked out!

Mine are 22 mos apart.
There's no "easing in" baby #2. She'll show up and demand the same love and attention as your first.

I posted a similar question out here before I had my second. I wanted to have a game plan for doing my old routines and just incorporating #2 into them. Everyone out here told me that "I'd figure it out", which wasn't helpful to me at the time. I wanted a PLAN!
You know what? They were right.

You'll have to make new routines. And #1 won't get the same amount of time that she does now - that's just the way it goes. But you'll find ways to have special time for her.
For awhile, you'll do 2 baths. The second will go to sleep later than the first, so you'll find a way to entertain #1 while you put #2 down...

Around 7mos, I started giving my two baths together, which was a wonderful help. I play with #1 when #2 naps, and after she's in bed. I feed them together at the same time.

You will figure it out. That can be frustrating when you want to plan, but rest assured, you will.
"Mommy mode" kicks into high gear when there are 2 to manage. You'll already know what to do. You just have to rearrange your routines now.

My son and daughter are 19 months apart. I am not going to lie, the first 3-4 months were so hard, but after that time, routines started to fall into place. They are now 3 1/2 and turning 2 in 26 days (YAY!) and are the best of friends. Here are a few things that helped us:

- Allow your daughter to be part of the new babies routines form day one. She will want to touch her and play with her. teaching her to be gentle will be much easier right away than if you wait to do it later. Our son would get us diapers, toys, burp cloths, almost right away to "help".

-Be sure to keep as many routines as you can. We would bring the baby to the table at meal times, up to the bathroom during bath (she would sit in her vibrating chair until it was time to bathe her. We started bathing both at the same time around 5 months). That way she got used to the routines we already had in place.

-Carve out some special time for you and your daughter. She will get jealous of the new baby. Having special time with you will mean so much. My son and I would go for a short walk, or to a park whenever we could, which helped him to still feel special and me to continue "mommy-ing" him too.

-Be really aware as the new baby gets older and starts to do all the cool stuff how you treat your order child. I learned the hard way. As Maddy was learning to walk and we were praising her all the time, my son turned to me and said "Where's my good job Mommy??" It broke my heart into a million little pieces. We had always been big on positive reinforcement, but were just praising Maddy more since everything she was doing was new. So hard, and big lesson learned.

Good luck and enjoy!!

Hi , I just had our 2nd (he is 5 months old now) and there is a 22 month gap between him and his brother. Our oldest schedule never changed at all, but it is allot of coordinating b/w the boys to make sure everyone is taken care of. You will get into a groove. Don't worry about it. It is stressful at first, but even at 5 months now I can honestly say it is already better. Now my son is used to his brother being around, he loves him and alwasy interacts with him, but when he first came home it was overwhelming the amount he wanted to be around him. He was just really excited and I was just really tired and stressed, so I did my best to not discourage anything, but make sure it was appropriate (gentle) interaction and eventually he caught on. Good luck, it will all be fine, just deal with it day by day and you get better at understanding your new baby's schedule everyday and just fit it into the oldest ones !

There is no easing a child into the family. They arrive and make a scene. The closest thing to easing you will be able to do is have grandma there to do the toddlers routine. When grandma leaves you'll find that Dad takes over a lot of toddler time while you have baby. Soon you will mesh them together. Think of starting college , or a brand new job. Its like that only will messy hair and frumpy clothes. You take it one day at a time, there is a learning curve, and soon you find your groove. I recall a time when I pumped while rocking baby with my feet. Were schedules collide, one will have to learn patience. There were many times my daughter had to wait to eat her meal until I could get to it. It was good for her not to be waited on and expect so much of her mother anyone. she learned some patience. It all works out. But not much you can do to prepare.

Bathe at night.
Have the oldest help you bath the younger. Then lay a blanket on the bathroom floor for the younger to lay on while you bathe the older.

A way to prepare now or soon is to get a baby doll. Incorporate the baby doll into the routine just like a newborn would be.

My oldest and middle child are 14 months apart,both girls. :)

The first few months months was kinda hard at first. Trying to figure out exactly what times the baby was going to eat,sleep and so on and that way I could figure out what time was best to spend time with my oldest daughter.
Usually when the baby would take a nap,my oldest daughter and me would sit and play with her toys or I would let her help me with some cooking. Just spend some Kind of one and one time together. Usually after a few months I had myself in a good routine. And things was alot easier. I was like a pro with 2 kids under 2. :) Had everything organized and planned out. And had supper ready for my husband when he came home from work.

Its going to take some time and figure what works best for you. Then It would get easier and be like second nature. :)

Best wishes!! :)

My kids are a little further apart, like almost three years. But by then my evening routine with my first was so well-establiched, like you I really worried about how I was going to fit in a newborn to my marathon bedtime routine.

Kind of like the first child, you just have to start at the beginning and let a whole new routine evolve. It's just survival mode the first few months. I didn't really get a new routine down til about 6 or 7 months. because newborns and their needs change so much the first few months.

At first dad had to step in so we could keep the evening routine going for #1 as best possible. I would start now before the baby comes letting dad give the bath sometimes or read the stories or whatever. It becomes "divide and conquer" with two. And at first it happened to work out that the baby was in a sleep cycle during the first child's pre-bedtime activities.

I found giving two baths very tiring so a big turning point was when they could both be in the bath together (as soos as possible I combined the two bath times). This helped a lot.

Now the #2 is 18 months and we have a good routine going. They take their bath together, put on jammies, brush teeth. Then the older one quietly plays in the room with us while the baby gets to read books and cuddle with me in the rocking chair. Then she goes in bed, and the older one gets her mommy time with books and cuddling on her bed. The toddler sometimes falls right asleep or just rolls around in her crib listenening. It works out fine.

You'll work it out! It won't fall into place right away, just be prepared for a few months of upheaval and things going by in a blur. I found the transition from 1 kid to 2 even harder than just having the first. It's hard to start splitting your attention between two. But then I realized, ok they are BOTH getting less attention from ME, but now they have each other to give/get attention from. It works out. As soon as you witness your first tender moment between the siblings, you'll know your family is multiplying in love, not dividing :)