Ok so I know this is going to sound strange, but I have been feeling a little out of control for a week or more now. And know that I am an educated person so it is like I am aware of what is happening and why, but for some reason cannot stop myself and I also hope it is not TMI....
So for almost a month I have been taking laxatives at an abusive level(two four to five nights a week). At first when i would take them was legit, but then it with stress and school and not being able to exercise, I realized I could use them to help control my weight. (I am 5'10 and 143 so not over or under weight.) Being overweight has all of a sudden become a huge fear and since i am finishing up my Bachelors in Family Studies, and I have three small children I don't have time to work out much(even though I am walking a half marathon this weekend and have been training for that). I tell myself every night that i am not taking them and have taken enough this week, but then when it is time for bed i talk myself into it. It feels like i have such little control over so many things in my life emotionally right now(problems with DH), that this is some kind of control I can have. I mean it is strange because I know I shouldn't take them and that it could make me sick but i just cannot stop and i even am aware of why i am taking them...i don't know, I just thought that if i became addicted to something i would not be cognitively aware that i was, but I am and i do it any way...
I have been taking Lexapro since about the time this started so i am wonderig if maybe that is why...? i know it says stuff about addiction and gambling, but not this? Any advice on what to do or tell myself to help me stop would be good. Please don't say hateful things now though because obviously that is not what i need...
Something triggered this emotional issue for you and you are trying to control SOMETHING because you feel like you can't control anything. You are so brave to be aware of it and ask for help. Talk to your doctor, get a referral to a psychiatric professional. By taking control of THIS situation, you are heading in the right direction! Take care!
Talk to the doctor who is prescribing the Lexapro. Anti-depressants affect different people in different ways, but whether or not there is a connection, that doctor seems to be the one addressing mental health issues and could ideally help with this too. Also, if you are training for a half marathon, I'm guessing you are working out enough. It would be good to take care of this (and yourself!) before it becomes a long-term issue that your body really gets used to. I wish you all the best with everything!
i think you just took your first step: admitting that you may have a problem. step 2, call a therapist (or whomever you're supposed to call to get some help). step 3, tell your husband that you're wanting to put a stop to it, so ask him to eliminate all laxatives form the house for time being.
i don't think you have hit rock bottom, you don't have an unhealthy weight, and it's early enough for you to do something about it. be warned that if you don't take steps towards recovery this will take a hold of your life, which you cannot afford having kids, going to school, maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
yes, i fear weight gain because i have no thyroid. i am scared to death that even if i gain a pound i am stressing over it. but when that happens, and hopefully it never will, i will seek treatment, whether it is a trainer, a nutritionist or whatever. so your fear of weight gain, is normal, you doing something about it, when you don't need it, is not. seek help mama. hang in there
I think you answered your own question. You said you are taking them at "an abusive level" and that you are using them to control your weight. You should contact a professional who deals with eating disorders. Recognizing there is a problem is the first step to getting better and it looks like you've done that.
I agree with the others. You NEED help. Go to your doctor and tell them what is going on. NOW......so your children still have a Mother to love.
As for control. I know the feeling very well, you seem like a pin ball just being bounced all over the place. I'm here to tell you, you DO have some control. You just need to slow down, think and control what you can. Celebrate what you can control, even if it is as small as what you are having to eat that day. Life is way to fast these days, and people need to find their place to find peace.....mine is nature.....if I go into a woods, or camp ground, on a nature hike, it's like I'm reborn again.....my head is clearer and I feel rejuvenated. Sometimes I even find things are not as bad as I thought.........just needed to clear my head. Give it a try......it might be going out and dancing your heart out, but find something that calms you down and puts you in a better state of mind.
You already know that this has reached the problem level. Please see your doctor asap. Your kids need you.
Admitting this is so great. Is there anyone that you can admit it to in person - your doctor? That is the first step to getting the help that you need. Unfortunately, I don't think that this site is enough to get you to stop. There are many addictions that people know that they have a problem during and just can't stop. It could very well be the laxative itself that is causing the addiction, so go talk to your doctor and see if s/he has any suggestions to get you some help. Good luck.
You should seek help from a professional (your doctor or a therapist). This is extremely harmful to your health. I see you have small children, please seek help for yourself and them.
I'm so happy you realize that you have a problem and want to change. My advice is that you print out your question and hand it to your doctor in person for them to read. Please don't try to do this on your own. Laxatives are medicines and you may even have physical problems stopping on your own. I agree with someone else who posted that you might have a problem realizing what a normal weight is. In my experience, 143 lbs. at 5'10 makes for a rather thin person. I would guess that you are around a size 2-6. It might really help you to get a referral to a psychologist for help as well. They could help you address the underlying problems (control, DH, etc.). Please do get the help you need. You'll be so much happier in the end!
I know you said you don't have a lot of time to exercise and the laxatives might be a way to have some control in your life and a way to control your weight. What if you controlled the food you eat instead? I know focusing on my diet takes time and energy and it's something I can control. I don't have advice other than that, nor do I have experience with it. I do think that laxatives are addictive, my Dr had me take stool softeners during my last pregnancy for constipation and she said I can take them for as long as needed because they are not addictive.
I do agree with the others too - you should talk with someone, your Dr or some other health professional. You should be worried about yourself.
Please take care of yourself for your children.
Hi,
I would discuss this with the doctor who prescribed Lexapro, or perhaps find a counselor (I know that might not be financially possible, but it sounds like something you may need someone to work through with you). But a good place to start would be the doctor who prescribed the Lexapro, because then you can discuss if this is related and steps to take from here. I know that may be hard, it doesn't sound like something that would be easy to bring up with a doctor, but it is obvious that you know what you are doing needs to stop, so I would use that awareness and knowledge to start taking some steps to stop it. I would guess that actually verbally bringing it up with your doctor will be good just in the sense that it will force you to deal with it.
I hope you find something that works,
M.
You are thin...you have an unrealistic idea of what is normal weight and I am happy that you realize that there may be a problem. Please do not rationalize things and go find someone you trust to get you some help to get some control over your life and feel good about yourself.
You might need to talk with someone in person. Someone you trust that could keep you accountable. Things like this can have an extreme power over you and sometimes the only way to get free of them is to look outside of yourself for help. I wish you all the best!
