Eating Habits

When my kids started to get picky we let them use "dipping sauce", which was usually ketchup. We have never cooked different meals unless we were having something that we really liked and we knew that they really didn't. Generally we cook at least one thing that we know they like. If we don't think that the kids will like the meat, we choose a veggie that is a favorite and give them a little extra of that, then at least they are eating something healthy and not just the starch at the meal.
Good Luck!

I have a two year old with the same food temperment. I try to include one item that I know she likes with every meal. If she chooses not to eat it, then I let her know that there is nothing until the next meal. Some times she eats more and some times she doesn't. I don't force her and I try not to let her see that it worries/concerns me and it's been working. Good luck!

habits you start now will be ingrained and need to be deprogrammed later. By 17 months, I never made separate foods for my now 4 year old daughter and now she eats everything I eat (including garlic, fish and hot pepper!). I have a friend whose son was fussy about solid foods so she kept him on mush for a really long time and now he still struggles to eat things with flavor or texture - and he's 4! You daughter is probably asserting herself and its up to you whether you want to let her run the show. Letting her down to play is only going to teach her that she doesn't need to follow the rules everyone else does, which is to eat dinner when it's dinner time.

Good luck! I know it's not easy.

I agree with Joanna. Your job is to make the meals. Her job is to eat it. I am a teacher of toddlers and I have some picky ones but they don't starve. They eat what they like and leave what they don't like. : )

Hi Susan,
The same exact thing happened to my daughter at about the same age. First of all, let me tell you that this is a battle you will not win, trust me! You just need to roll with it. My husband has a daughter from a previous relationship, she is now 14 years old. When she was growing up we had much more variety to our meals than she was used to at her mother's, we enjoy ethnic foods and trying new recipes. We struggled to get her to try new things all the time, so we came up with a "rule"...you have to at least try one bite of everything, and if you do not like it you do not have to eat it. I always had a back up in the fridge, like a pb&j, with cut up cucumbers, carrots and some cut up fruit...things I knew she liked, but in order to get what she liked she had to try just one bite of the meal we had prepared. I used to tell her she would never know if she liked it if she didn't try it. The first few times was a struggle and she refused, but after a few nights without dinner she finally compromised with us. You cannot force them to eat, they need to figure it out in their own way, and they will eventually. We only did this with dinner. If she did not want to eat we did make her sit there, we also did not allow her to snack at all that evening. Compromise is a great skill to learn at an early age and as parents we do it all the time, you need to teach her it is all about making the right choices and helping them to make the right choices is our job as parents, sometimes we have to be creative and stand our ground. Food variety is really important to my husband and I and we really wanted her to be open to trying new things. We now do this with our 3 year old and it worked with her too. She was about 1 and a half when we started doing this with her. My stepdaughter eats anything now and our toddler is expanding her palette everyday, figuring out she likes new things all the time. I agree with the other mothers that you do not need to be a "short order cook", but I also feel compromise is important. I feel this is a fair way to deal with this and created less arguing at the dinner table. Good Luck!

I'm with Joanne on this one. I provide the food, they decide what and how much to eat. A book I found really helpful in supporting this idea is "Child of Mine" by Ellyn Satter; she is a professional dietician who works specifically with children. Great book that I give to every first time parent.

My daughter did the same thing at that age. They begin to explore their environment and become less interested in food. The pediatrician advised that I not make an issue of it, but provide foods that she could easily pick up on her way by. I set up her little table and chair between the kitchen and living room where she ran around all day, and placed a drink and multi-grain Cheerios in a bowl. That way, when she was hungry she would grab a handful and continue exploring her surroundings. Trust me , they do slow down, and she will change in just a few months. As for the dinner table, have her try what you've placed in front of her, but don't get into the habit of making a separate meal for her.Trust that you've provided her with foods that are healthy all day long so if she doesn't eat everything that's ok.

It's funny. When my pediatrician told me that my great eater would one day get picky, I didn't believe her - not because I thought I had the perfect child, but because I could not imagine someone going from loving everything to liking nothing literally over night. But, alas, it happened. I've had the problem with two children (one is now 3 and one just 17 months) and found that there were two different roots to the problem.

The first child just simply got picky and started turning his nose up at everything. The second one also got picky and wouldn't eat a morsel at dinner until I discovered that his issue has nothing to do with the food. He won't tolerate anyone else holding his spoon. He has to do it. Period. If he's in control of the spoon, he shovels anything and everything in. Given that he's 17 months he is probably on his way to being picky, but right now it's a spoon thing and that was a real surprise for me.

Our policy is to not make a huge issue out of the fact that they won't eat, BUT we do not make them separate meals. I cook one meal for the family, taking into account everyone's tastes but not being held captive by them. The boys are welcome to eat or not eat. If they don't eat, they are not rewarded with play time. We simply begin their bedtime routine (which usually starts after dinner anyway). I found that by 17 months old they do absolutely fine sleeping through the night without having eaten dinner.

My older son is able to understand rewards, so he will get a "surprise" (usually a few M&Ms) if he eats nicely for a few days in a row. He often considers this reward and then tells me, "No thank you mom. I think I'd rather go straight to bed." Bottom line - you can't make them eat if they don't want to eat. I have found that the more of an issue we make out of it, the more they dig their heels in. So, I don't make the table a battle field and I don't make them sit there until they have eaten. They do, however, have to sit there until the rest of the family has finished eating.

One note - If I'm in the mood for a meal that I really wouldn't expect most children to like I will make a separate dinner, but I feed them early and then sit down to a nice dinner with my husband once the kids are in bed. I don't like to highlight the fact that they got a separate meal by all sharing the same table. This is more the exception than the norm, though.

R.

Engage her in the conversation at the table for at least a few minutes and she may change her mind and eat. If nothing else, she will see how dinnertime conversation works (a lost art, in my mind) Ask your husband about his day, listen to his abbreviated for the child answer (you can get the details later) and have him ask your daughter about her day (you can sort of answer for her). This will provide a learning environment and take the focus off the food. She may decide to eat something, or not, but she will not starve.

Whatever you do, don't become a short order cook for her. Make sure there is at least one thing she is likely to eat in the overall meal and let it go at that.

Speaking from experience, don't force her to eat, but she should stay at the table. At her age she is realizing that she has a mind of her own and she is trying to figure out how to express it. Also at this age their tastes are changing rapidly, they will like a food then tell you they hate it the next day. This is a constant battle for parents. Do not get into the trap of making her a different meal, she will expect this at all times. I have always made dinner and put it in front of the kids, our rule is they have to try everything, but dont' have to finish it. At 17 months it is almost impossible for her to understand this, but just keep reintroducing good foods, I have recently read that it takes children up to 30 times of trying a food to like it!

My children are 9 and 5 now and dinner is still a struggle, especially if they decide they dont' like something.

This is how I do it (I have three kids).

My job is dish up three balanced meals a day and two healthy snacks. A choose a variety of whole foods, try to stick with organics, avoid boxed or prepared meals, and dish it up.

That's where my job ends. THEIR job is to eat it. Or not. Their tummies, their mouths, their choices. I don't badger, cajole, threaten, bribe or punish. But I'm not a short order cook. I make sure to serve enough that if they don't like a particular thing they're not going to starve to death. But no, I don't make something else.

First of all I will tell you from experience is that its totally normal. My daughter did the same thing around the same age. She would eat everything all the time, then all of a sudden didn't want things or just didn't want to eat. I actually realized that there were days that she would eat all day long, then the next would eat maybe one or two things. I think the best way to deal with it is to let them eat the way that is most pleasing to them. My daughter didn't like to sit and eat, but she was a picker. I would make a plate of veggies, cheese, whatever that she liked that she could pick at and not make a huge mess, and leave it on the coffee table for her to grab at when she wanted. At this age make sure the little that they do eat is good for them. Try to avoid "junk". I would make something you know that she will eat for supper. I do that for my daughter. We can't eat everything that she likes all the time, and I know she doesn't like what we eat all the time either. Hope this helps.

Susan, I used to have the same problem with my son. The onlt thing he did eat was chicken nuggets and auntys cheese. I found that making them something that they will eat won't hurt them. It can get to be a pain though. I had my kids at a very young age but I did what was best and know the only thing my son doesn't eat is hamburger. The trick is to give a little but also tell the child I will make you this if you at least try to taste this.
Holli

I worried about this too. My daughter's pediatrician said not to worry too much about this kind of eating as long as the child is growing well. I find that my daughter just wants to eat certain things certain days, and goes back to the thing she rejected eventually as long as I don't try to force her to eat.
A friend of mine advised to have them sit in the high chair during dinner even if they aren't eating, but give them something to play with.
Personally, I refuse to cook my daughter a different meal than what the rest of us are eating, because I want her to get used to "grown up food" and I don't have the time or the energy to cook two dinners every day.
I wish you the best of luck no matter what you do!

My 2 year old is the same way. She has been picky forever. I spoke to her physician about this and they told me not to worry. You do what you feel is right but the advice they gave me was to not stress about it. Let her eat when she wants.Alot of my daughters issue is that she doesnt like certain "texture". That may be what your daughter is experiencing with chicken. My daughter wont eat hamburg but loves meatloaf and meatballs. Its ok for her to have like 5-6 snack throughout the day rather then the 3 hardy meals. Just make sure the snacks are nutricious. I understand how it can get a little frustrating as you want them to learn manners and sit with the family to eat. It wont be like this forever. My little angel is learning that it is more fun to eat with the family. Good luck!!

Susan, I'll tell you what you shouldn't do, because I did it and now regret it!! I wouldn't let her get up, at least not for the whole meal. If she sits at the table she's apt to eat something. I also wouldn't get in the habit of cooking a separate meal unless it's something really bizarre that you wouldn't expect any kid to eat, even then I've learned the best bet is to make sure every meal includes something they can eat. I've started having carrots and hummus with every meal because I know mine will eat it and it's healthy. I'd also suggest "trying bites"- she has to take a bite of something before she can have a snack later (we use it to qualify for dessert of some sort!) I got in the habit of separate meals and not making them try things and now that they are 4 and 8, we have far too many food battles in our house! It's not easy, but if you never start the bad habits, she won't expect them down the road! Good luck!