Eating Help!!!! - Brighton,CO

Hi,
you can get bowls and plates with suction cups on the bottoms. They stick to the high chair tray or table and stay on pretty well! I think Sassy makes them--we have a set of three, and they came from Walmart, in the baby feeding section. They also sell similar things on line.

T.- I read this last week on an email I got, I hope it helps-

Tool: Right wrongs together
Age: 12 to 24 months
How it works: There's a difference between a baby who playfully throws her bowl to the floor and a young toddler who knows she's creating a mess for Mommy or Daddy to clean up.

That turning point happens when your child becomes capable of knowing when she's doing something she's not supposed to, often around her first birthday. "When she looks at you with that glint in her eye and then drops the peas, you know it's time to do something." says expert Madelyn Swift. What you do, says Swift, is start teaching the concept of taking responsibility for her actions.

Real-life application: Your toddler's made a mess under her highchair. Lift her up, set her on the floor, and ask her to hand you some peas so she's "helping" you take care of it. Talk to her about what you're doing: "Okay, we made a mess with the peas so we have to clean it up." Then put her back in her chair and give her something else to eat, or end the meal.

I hope this helps, I know that it won't be as feasable to try at daycare. I've worked in a daycare before, and I don't know how big your son's daycare is, but we watched about 16 kids and there was only 2 of us, and it's my experience that mealtimes are the most dreaded times of the day. We have a boy there that is the same age as your son, but he only throws his plate when he's finished eating, but we have to move his highchair to where he can't eat others' food. I know that's not a way of teaching him not to do it, but it's an immediate fix for daycare. Also, if he is still in his highchair, you might consider moving him to the table for a meal to see if he still throws his plate to the floor. Sometimes just seeing a whole table in front of him instead of just a little tray will make them forget that they used to throw things off of their chair, because there isn't anywhere to throw the plate now that there is a table in front of them (although he may recognize that he can still throw it to the side, it might be worth a try). I hope this helps

My son does this to, I always have offered him a plate and fork, from the moment I offer food, when they threw the plate on the floor that meant they were done in my eyes, so I took it away and they were done. my 18 month old will eat his food and then go around like a bird and eat from evreyone else, no biggy for me this is a normal phase, he just wants to make sure nobody has anything better then him :). I remember when my older where younger and they had those plates with the suction cups on them, I loved those but you really can't find them anymore, just be patient he will figure it out.

I agree that at 15 months, it's expecting a lot for him to keep his food on the plate and not throw it down. My 20 month old twin boys still throw their plates. When they do that, eating time is over. I take the food and the plate, or the sippy cup or whatever it is they are throwing. They have gotten a lot better about it, but they still throw food and their plates on the floor. I also agree that it's the daycare provider's job to help him with it while he's there. The teacher needs to understand that 15 months is really early to accomplish that task, and not every child develops and learns skills at the same time. Even if other kids don't throw their plates, it doesn't mean that yours is ready to follow. Also, I haven't tried the suction cup plates or sticky stuff, but I believe it won't help him learn that throwing the plate on the ground is unacceptable. Once you take the suction cup plate away, he'll just try the throwing all over again because now his plate can move. You just need to teach him that throwing it on the floor is not acceptable. Maybe even have him help you clean up the food mess he makes. But don't stress about it. He's still just a baby. Tell his teacher that you're working on it and ask if she'll help reinforce your teachings while he's at daycare. Tell her what you're doing and ask her to do the same when he's in her care. Good luck.

Persistence, setting the example yourself, and maybe a suction cup bowl or plate?! I'm sure he gets a reaction the other way, which makes it exciting for him too!

I'd would try to just abruptly end that meal for your son when the tossing begins. Use no anger and let this be a natural consequence. I'd stress this firmly with the daycare as alot of workers tend to be not wanting to go the extra step. I think this will stop with in a week if every one is on board 100%.
Good luck

At 15 months, it might be expecting a lot to expect him to not dump his plate (even if other kids can). I would try a couple of things and hopefully your daycare will work with you (this is a stage and one where when that happened I removed the food and the plate and eating time is finished). You might try suction cupped plates or get one of those eating mats (babies r us) with the catch tray. It's rubber, rolls up and it was great. It's great as a placemat but when they are still doing finger foods it's awesome -- especially at resturants.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2908461
L.

Do not let him do it at home. It has to be consisent. Get him some fun kid plates at Target or something and have them designated as "his plate". Do not let him eat off of anyone'e plate but his own period. If he does it, give him a warning, redirect him to his own plate. If he throws it on the floor, take him and set him in a playpen or elsewhere for a minute. Then bring him back and try again. It will take you and the daycare place to be on the same page. Everything looks better to a 15 mos old if someone else has it, goes with toys too, but he needs to understand it isn't okay, they have the same thing as he does. Even sending his "special" plates to daycare with him may help. Hang in there, it will pass.

I wouldn't worry about it yet...if he is only 15 months. He is still pretty young. The most important thing is that he is eating and trying new things. You could always put food directly on his tray. My son also likes snacks in little baggies he can carry around - of course you have to watch them carefully with baggies. You can also buy plates and bowls that have suction cups that stick them to the trays....or try plates (even paper plates) that have cute pictures on them. Let your son choose his plate for the meal out of two possibilities (would you like the doggy or the elephant plate for dinner?). Just some ideas. I wouldn't worry too much yet though....he's still just a little guy. Manners will come in time. Think of alternatives in the meantime.

tell the daycare that THEY need to help you since he is there all day every day... tell them NOT to worry about this tiny issue... put his food on the tray and have fun with him... it will surpass, and not worth stressing about...

At fifteen months my son liked to sit on my lap and eat with me. Maybe his daycare teachers - and you - could do that. As far as taking other kids' plates, if they don't let him the behavior will stop. The idea also is to work with your baby. They should not be institutionalized to the point that they act like 'all the other kids' at a year and three months. That is ridiculous.

Dear T.,
I remember a few of my children at your son's stage. We called it the "Helen Keller phase", where she would eat from other people's plates. She did this because she was allowed to. Don't allow it. I like the advice given already. Sometimes you just need to be firm. He will get the idea.
I also used a highchair. You may feel he is too big for one, but it may help.
Best to you!
H. B. MOM(mother of many-9)

Where is he seeing this action?

My daughter was doing that for a little while at 18 mo (she's almost 2 now) and I read that it's enough that I'm presenting her with a plate during mealtime. As long as I didn't overreact when she dumped it....from what I've read it's really about the reaction the child receives, and has nothing to do with willfulness. Anyway, she stopped doing it immediately when we switched feeding method---from a separate highchair to a restaurant style chair that sits at the table with us. Otherwise, I invested in a splat mat, it's awesome, I highly recommend it.
Hang in there, this too shall pass!

He is old enough to understand a simple expectation. Say to him "If you throw your plate or food Dinner is over" When he does dinner is over. Thats it.

It wont take very many meals that he hungry belly for him to learn to stop doing it. If he complains he is hungry you say "you threw your plate so you lost your dinner."

And no he won't starve in the mean time. And you can tell the preschool to follow the same rule for him there. Once he dumps his plate his taken away from the table. Meal time is over.

Just keep offering him his food off a plate. Eventually, the plate will stay on the table. It's funny to me because I worked at a preschool and all the kids in the 1 year old room were nuts with their food...they are 1! They all took each other's food, threw food on the floor, etc. Your son's behavior, from what I've seen, is normal. If the teachers are bothering you about this, let them know you are taking measures at home and ask them to do the same. Teachers in preschools are not there to have their lives made simple and easy by parents 'fixing' things at home...it's a team effort. They will go through what you go through and they will try to teach what you will try to teach...at least that's the ideal. It is too much for daycare workers to expect a parent to teach certain behaviors only in the evenings and on weekends, for example, yet expect not to have to extend themselves at all...it's their job.

T.,

I'd like to agree with those before me and give encouragement!
1) Get the suction cup plates or those cute kid plate, let him pick which one you buy!
2) When he throws the plate he is done, have him help clean the mess up and remove him from the table. If he wants food, or show he is still hungry, then after an alloted time, give him another try and repeat from the beginning of this step.
3) Have daycare do the same, with the cute plate he takes with him. If they object due to the other kids, then let them them know what you are trying and have them do what they can to help.
4) Consistency is the biggest key in what needs to happen. Clearly tell him the rules every time he throws his plate.
5) Hang in there this is normal. The sooner you take care of this the less of a problem it will become, the longer you allow the behavior the worse it is going to get.
6) Reward with "wows" and "what a big boy" praise and lots of hugs for the little things, even the clean up part.
Hope this helps...just remember he is looking for attention, I hope you are giving him positive attention in the little things.
Biggest thing is teaching him to clean up after himself. I did this with all my kids and they still clean up after themselves!

At school --- that's the teacher's problem. Don't say that to the teacher. Just assure the teacher that you're working at it. Or even ask the teacher for her expertise on a solution to this issue. At home --- be good role models. Everyone sit together and eat together as a family at the dinner table. If he dumps his plate, say "Uh oh. Dinner is over." Remove the child from the table and put his plate in the sink. The family continues to eat at the table and the child is left out. Children don't want to be left out. This will have to be repeated over and over for the child to make the connection of the action and the consequences. But, you are not alone. This is a typical child behavior. Children don't have control of many things. But one thing they have control of is their eating habits. This is a skill that takes time to develop. Be patient and loving. Is this really a big deal? Don't sweat the small stuff.