I have an 18 month old son who eats his meals in his high chair. My husband and I disagree on where he should eat his snacks. I say that he should be in the high chair for all food. My thoughts are a choking hazard and teaching to sit and not eat on the run. My husbands reasoning is that my son should know that all of his meal times should be at his high chair (3 meals per day). He thinks my son will think every time he sits down to eat is a meal and he is afraid he will over eat if he is sitting down to eat every little thing.
First off my son does not overeat, he is actually is in the less than 3% for his weight. The reason I am concerned is that sometimes when I want him to eat his meal he will not want to sit in his high chair and I will not give in when he throws a tantrum. I feel that what my husband and I are doing is confusing. I mentioned getting a small table and chairs for snack time but my husband also discouraged that as confusing.
I know this is not that big of a deal but we having been discussing it way more than we should. I feel we need to be on the same page with this as it will be less confusing to my son. I want to know what your thoughts are. Am I over reacting?
Thanks for your help.
V.
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:
We are not overweight, we work out regularly and their is not family history of obesity. We also both spend the same amount of time with our son.
Thank you so much for all of your help.
My husband and I agreed that we will do meals at the dinner table and snacks can be on a chair/couch/etc anywhere except walking around.
I am happy with this compromise. Thank you so much for your advice.
I like the idea of having a snack table, a happy medium. Think about how adults eat snack. Snacks are less formal. I don't think it will confuse him. Having snack time away from the high chair might make dinner time easier
We have a busy lifestyle (I work full time) and our day is different everyday. Therefore, my son snacks at approximately the same time everyday... just not in the same place everyday. He doesn't like to be in his high chair, unless the whole family sits down for dinner. He doesn't like being there by himself. So either I sit down with him and read the paper, etc. or we let him eat snacks in the living room on the ottoman. However, he is not allowed to run around with his food because I am afraid of the choking hazard and our dog will try to steal his snacks from him.
I think as long as he is eating healthy foods at regular intervals, you will establish good eating habits.
My 10 month old eats all foods - meals or snacks - in the high chair. My 2 and 3 yr old daughters eat all meals and MESSY snacks at the table. Any non-messy (dry cereal, teddy grahams, apple slices, string cheese, etc) snacks can be eaten in their room or the living room, as long as they are sitting down.
I agree with the choking issue. My 3 yr old choked on cheese from a pizza at 18 months while sitting at the table, so we try to pay extra attention as to where they eat when they have cheese of any kind or any foods that are easy to choke on (peanuts, grapes, even raisins). My 10 month old choked on a Gerber puff snack in the high chair....so choking can happen anywhere.
I don't think your son will be confused. Our girls aren't. They know about most foods - which are acceptable in a bowl in the living room and which must be at the table. I still put a bib on my 2 1/2 yr old to eat yogurt or applesauce because she's so messy! :)
And even if my girls try to eat a messy snack in the living room, I quickly correct them and bring it to the table. They argue with me on occasion, but they aren't confused. If they throw tantrums, then they do not receive the snack or meal until they stop. Then we continue with putting them at the table (if it's necessary) or in the living room to eat. Snacks on the go are definitely non-messy and not easily choked on - teddy grahams or dry cereal in the car. Fruit snacks are not eaten in the car, only when we're sitting down and when I'm watching them.
What if you guys agreed on certain foods to be eaten in the high chair (for your choking concerns) and which snacks can be eaten elsewhere? And if obesity is that huge of a concern for your husband, perhaps he could speak with the pediatrician. If there's no family history of obesity and the snacks are healthy, I do not see why the pediatrician would express a concern about obesity. But that's my opinion.
I always made sure my daughter is seated for meals and snacks. She's 4 years old and she still has to sit at her table for snacks. Not only for the safety aspect (choking) but also to make sure there's not food all over your house. So many of my friends who allow their children to eat where ever and walk around...find food dropped EVERYWHERE. At least if they are contained to one spot you know the food will be in that immediate area.
My daughter is perfectly healthy, not over weight, and has no issue with misunderstanding about eating and sitting. I guess I don't really understand where your husband is getting that fear from.
Oh and most 18month old try to throw tantrums and not want to sit in their high chair. If I gave in to my daughter at 18 months...she would never have eaten.
I used to make my DD sit in her high-chair or booster seat for all meals including snacks. I think she should sit and not run around and focus on her meal and not on something else. However I did change this as it became difficult to get things done while she was snacking. Like doing the dishes, we don't have an eat in kitchen, or folding laundry while she was contained she tends to 'help' mommy with this task :) So instead for snacks she must sit on her bottom with no running around. I usually designate a spot where she must sit and not leave or the snack gets taken away. This means snack on the kitchen rug or right outside the laundry room etc. I occassionaly confine her to her booster seat when she can't sit still but it hasn't been that often. Definetly in the high-chair for all meals that's a bit more involved.
I don't understand your husband's thinking. Is there a reason he would think your son would overeat? Is there obesity in the family? Most kids at this age will stop when they are full and in my experience if they do overeat they tend to throw-up or get a stomach ache.
In the high chair! This will establish good eating habits. On the run is never a good choice in my opinion. Also, children like routine.
To me, I think it depends on the snack. If its crackers, cereal, or other dry things, I would let it be on the go. If its fruit, veggies, cheese, yogurt or anything that can make a mess that can't be vacuumed up, I would say at the table. I don't think sitting them at the table for every edible thing is going to make them over weight. At 18 months he still stops eating when he's full. My 2cents.
I agree with you for the most part. I feel that all 'meals' should be eaten sitting down at the table (or in the highchair) but snacks are less formal. Snacks on the patio in nice weather are great. I also let my boys eat dry snacks on the couch or at a small table in their playroom but for anything sticky, wet, or crumbly I make them sit at the dining table. I don't let them run around while they eat though because as you mentioned, that would be a choking hazard. I'm wondering where your husband thinks that he should be eating his snacks since the highchair and the small table you suggested were not agreeable to him. Should your son just be walking around eating? What if he were to trip and fall with a piece of food in his mouth? He could choke. A secondary and minor concern is that wandering around eating also creates extra cleanup from dropped items or spills. If you're a stay-at-home mom like me, that means that you would be responsible for cleaning up after his snacks on the go and that would be tiresome.
I'm just not really sure where your husband is coming from... I don't understand why he would think your son would be prone to overeating if he's encouraged to sit down to eat his snacks. I also think your son would be less prone to tantrums if he knew ahead of time that if he's going to be eating anything that he's expected to sit in a designated spot. Toddlers thrive on consistency and so changing what's expected of him from day to day is probably frustrating him. Best of luck. I hope the situation works itself out. :)
I agree with you to a degree , I like my kids to sit down while they eat , even snacks , but I do let them sit on the couch for snacks (never meals though). My youngest is 20 months and she now sits on a booster seat at the dining table for meals , if she has a banana or crackers then I sometimes sit her to the table but I have also sat her on the couch.
I don't think wanting them to sit in the highchair will encourage over eating , does you or your husband walk around and eat? You have to set the same rules for the whole household otherwise it will be chaos.
Good luck
Other than at dinner, we have never forced our son to eat at the table (unless something is really messy). Some days we have a picnic outside, breakfast is often eaten in my bed, sometimes we eat at the coffee table (just because it's fun), others we eat on the go (i.e. the car), and others we eat at the table. Dinner is a definite table meal...it is good to start family time now! I figure there are just too many other things to worry about, and as long as he isn't walking around the house or running around the house with food in his hands, then what does it matter? It's some of the small stuff that just doesn't matter to me. Good luck!
I doubt either method will cause confusion or obesity. I think the concerns are choking risk and the mess factor.
We are frequently out on a stroller walk or running errands or whatnot at snack time, so high chair isn't even an option. I pack healthy snacks (wheat crackers, bagel, raisins, string cheese...) in a zippy bag or snack cup and let her hold it while seated (in the stroller/shopping cart) or outside.
Messy snacks like yogurt or applesauce are table/high chair only, with a bib (bibs are mandatory, and my kids learned that quick).
As for meals, letting my daughter choose high chair, booster seat, or little table gave her choices while still leaving me truly in control.
When we are at home, walking around with food is a big no-no; snacks are eaten at a table or in the kitchen. Although I do let them walk around with their sippy cups (perhaps not a good idea, but not the battle I choose to pick!).
My 30 month old is 10-25%ile and is just a naturally light eater--overeating is not her issue, like your son. My 14 month old loves to eat at meals but snacks less and is 50%ile. My friend's son is 3 and has always been <5%ile like your son--they encourage him to eat as much as they can. My point here is that every kids is unique and you just have to follow your son's cues when he is/isn't hungry. Just pick which house rules work for you and your schedule so your son learns the rules/routines (being flexible as needed).
To me, I don't think it matters. Sometimes, depending on how messy the snack is, my daughter will sit in a chair up at the table (bar height) or island. (She's 2.5). Othertimes, we let her eat while standing in the living room over the ottoman. We've even had snacks while reading books in my bed!!
Why not compromise with your husband? Let him have his first snack on the go (or outside, in the living room, etc). The second (or third) you can have him sit down for. Then you could both see the differences in how much he eats based on where he snacks!
