*EDIT* I'm at the End of My Rope! 4 y.o. Not Pooping! Please Help!

My son did the same thing when he was 4 yo. I tried all the same things you did and nothing worked. I asked for suggestions from my pediatrician and she told me it was a control issue. She advised me not to make a big deal about making/wanting him to go poop and that eventually the problem would take care of itself. It worked! It took a while, but it did work. Good luck.

This is a "control" issue. He feels "out of control" in some aspect of his life and now he is "controlling" the one thing he has control over, himself. This is a mental issue. My friends daughter did this and it was after baby brother was born. What has changed for him?

Actually this is very common!

I'm going to look back on an old post and paste it below - it's late and I need to get to bed but this will give you something to chew on. May not be exactly what you are going through, but I’d say you are heading this way. – I found two posts so here they are:

Here is my response to a mom whose 2yo was refusing to go poop:

In order to prevent this from being an issue for the next several years (once a child has become constipated, they may hold it to prevent the pain/discomfort, which begans the vicious cycle that believe it or not can plague them for years to come). Right now, you don't want anything habit forming to be given to her to make her go poop- at least not on a regular basis. Your Dr. may want you to do a few enama's to clean her out (do this ONLY if your Dr. recommends it) then, you'll want to A) give her foods that will make and keep her poop soft and B)per your Dr. a safe non habit forming laxative like Miralax. If your Dr. isn't familar with kids holding in their poop and what can happen (for example, encopresis) - then seek the advice of a specialist. Trust me, you want to catch this early. Once a child holds their poop for a extended amount of time, their poop becomes impacted, stretches out the colon and then although full of poop, they are unable to poop.
Speaking from experience here, my daughter started out just like yours, only a little bit younger and didn't get better (in fact extremely worse) until after turning 5 years old. She is 7 now and doing great but I have to stay on top of it or we could easily go back to the "good" ol days.

This one is in response to a Mom whose 4yo daughter was holding in her poop and she kept finding poop squirts, etc.. in her underwear, she had her on Miralax and wanted to take her off of it:

Lower the dosage on the miralax if you have to but don't stop giving it to her. Your daughter sounds like she has Encopresis. That was our life for 3 years - 2yo to 5yo and we are still on Miralax. My daughter will be 8 in nov. Your daughter can no longer push poop out. Her spinchter muscles are stretched. My daughter didn't get "cured" until we saw a specialist. After 5 days of doing what our dr. recommended she was having regular daily poops. I don't give it Miralax to her daily now just a few times a week and/or if she tells me she needs it. Because of what she went through, she could go back to where she was in a short time. So we have had to stay on top of it. If you check my history of responses you can find more detailed information - I've written about this so much here. Or feel free to message me directly if you have any specific questions. I know how you feel and I know how frustrating it can be. She'll get better but first off, she has to poop daily - soft poops so her colon can go back to it's normal size which can take 3-6mos.
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I just read the other responses so I wanted to add a little more. If she has encopresis, which it sounds like she does. She isn't actually holding it in. At least not on purpose. When you've withheld poop for a long while, maybe because of a painful constipation episode or similar, then the colon stretches out and you become impacted, the spinchter muscle stops working so you can't push it out or hold it in. Stool will leak by the impacted bowel and then when the huge amount of impacted bowel is ready to come out - it will just come out - ready or not! Sorry to be so graphic but so many people think the child is doing this on purpose and although it may have started out that way due to a fear or something, it doesn't end up that way. Hope that helps!

Look in the natural food section of your grocery store for flax seed. Grind it up in the blender, then store in the freezer. Sprinkle a few spoonfuls on top of his cereal ( our family calls it Mamaw's brown sugar) or mix it into his applesauce, or put 1/2 cup into muffins or bread. After a few servings of that, he will no longer refuse to poop, because it is a great stool softener and it's packed full of Omega fatty acids that most of us are not getting in our regular diet. Also the activa yogurts are really good, because they have inulin, which is fiber, and it will make it so that he won't refuse to poop.
Hope this helps...

Even though he tells you it doesn't hurt, I'm still wondering if he has issues with being constipated. The not pooping for several days is one reason why I am concerned about this but then, you say that when you do sit him down on the pot to poop and wait it out, he only lets out just a few rabbit poops. The type of poop that someone has can tell a lot about what's going on with them internally. You may want to talk to his pediatrician about this to get further advise but here's a link about children and constipation that you may want to read:

http://www.talkaboutcuringautism.org/medical/poops.htm

Hope this helps and that you'll be able to find the answer to your concern soon. Wishing you and your son all the best.

Welcome to the world of chronic constipation!!

My son has gone as long as 9 days! He holds it so well that he has stretched his entire lower third of his digestive track out of shape. We have been dealing with this for two years -- yes, you read that right, two years.

First, guess how long it has been since his last BM, and go talk to your pediatrician. If they are anything like ours they'll start you off with Miralax or something like that. They'll also tell you how often to give it, and a range to work within base on his size and diet. They'll also suggest changing some foods. Do it, keep a log and note when he goes -- note what he is eat too if you can.

Second, recognize that this is your son's issue and not yours. You have NO control. You have to let go. More kids are abused because of chronic constipation than you would imagine. It is really hard to watch your child doubled over in pain, or poop blood simply because they have held it sooo long -- and NO one will really help you. They won't until it is going on for months, and even then they are slow to help. They= medical people.

Eventually, if you are like us, when it goes on for too long and the regular pediatrician is useless, you will call a pediatric gastreenterologists and go see him -- it can take months to get an appointment. They give you hand outs and a different medicine to try. They if you are like us, you'll try several different ones, finally find one that works, and it will get recalled, and mess up your whole system.

The goal is to get the poop so soft and watery that the child goes once a day for several weeks. However, figuring out the right amount of meds is trial and error -- so you will most likely get explosive poop on occasions. This is really gross.

We now have a system and our son goes ever 2 to 3 days and we can live with this. I have no idea if he will ever get off the laxatives, and I know this is bad for him. However, it is way better than the pain, and blood that we were getting.

That that you are totally depressed, :-) Couple of tips --

After you eat there is a natural reflex to poop. Have him sit after he eats, his biggest meal of the day. We would read to our son on the potty for 20 minutes after dinner. It helped sometimes. Also our son tried to avoid pooping to the point that he ate very little, so I got him a large M&M McFlurry and had him sit on the potty to eat it. He was in heaven with the ice cream -- he forgot to stop the poop.

Second, push fluids -- they help keep the poop soft.

Third, there is a kid book on this issue that might help -- It Hurts When I Poop -- here is the amazon url:
http://www.amazon.com/Hurts-When-Poop-Children-Scared/dp/...

I hope this helps. This takes awhile to fix and you need to hang in there. Good Luck!

What I've been told about the type of "poop" you are talking about is due to a lack of fluids in his body. Not enough fiber and he is straining to let out what he is. I don't know if you have ever given him an enema, but that type of invasion at the age of 4 was a big deterrent for me to "hold it" when I was that young. If he has enough water and fiber in his active little body, he would not be able to hold it in. He would be going regularly. Try to get his little body on a schedule. try having something in the bathroom to occupy his attention while sitting so he's not just sitting there. A picture book, something he can do with his hands, nothing too fussy. And if he's not eating them yet, give him raisins, fresh fruit, applesauce. Get some fiber in him along with water!

Ditto Michele S.
She is totally correct.
When my daughter was a toddler, she went through this too.
We had to see a Pediatric Gastroenterologist.
He said, that once a child starts to "withhold" their poop, on purpose... a bad vicious cycle has started.... it creates pain/physical problems internally/and it is also emotion based.
Thus, it then becomes a medical problem, as well as an emotion based one.

Anyway... it takes a long time... to remedy.
AND, a child can get "Encopresis".... or internally so blocked up, that the poop gets so hardened internally, that it can no longer come out.

You NEED to take your child, to a Specialist. Not just a general Pediatrician. They could also possibly do an x-ray to see how much blockage he has in there.

Next though: you need to find out, WHY he, all of a sudden and only now... is doing this. You said he never had this problem before and it just came on.

all the best,
Susan

Our oldest daughter now 4 1/2 would hold hers for sometimes 12-14 days, this was about a year and a half ago. I didn't even realize how long it had been until we started keeping a chart. We were all miserable. Lots of tears later we finally decided to try what the pediatrician told us and put her on miralax. I really didn't want to start her on it, because I didn't want her to have to depend on medication constantly. We weaned her from the miralax after about 6 months. We still have to make sure she is drinking at least an 8 oz. glass of water a day and her juice, and that she has enough fruits. And we try to make sure she has at least one (average, I guess that varies but you know what I mean) poop every 2-3 days. It is very stressful for everyone involved. I do recommend a sticker chart though, that really helped for us, and for her to see her progress. I think we actually continued the chart for a year. Just till we felt confident that she would be able to continue going on her own without a constant reminder. Hope this helps. ; )

Mommy of 3 Boys, I feel your pain! My son will hold pee AND poop for way too long b/c he is just "busy." Grrrrr.....drives me nuts. he's 7 now and does poop almost everyday.
I'm wondering if his reluctance to go isn't related to encopresis. Talk to your ped. They might do a regimen of Miralax to "clean him out" then use it to maintain a schedule of regular pooping.
White grape juice and pear juice always worked like clockwork for my son.
Good luck!

My daughter is a picky eater and a horrible pooper. I use Benefiber. I put it in her milk, water...whatever. It compeltely dissolves and she can't taste it. She is 7 now and when she hasn't pooped she now asks me to put it in her water. It works wonders.

they sell "babylax" liquid glycerine good for constipated kids.

A threat of a babylax in his bottom might get him to go on the potty without a problem.

Of course you might have to do the babylax once or twic..

but add more fiber to his diet.. so he cant hold it..

I'll 3rd the response about Encopresis. Talk to your pediatrician about Encopresis. Get this treated early. You don't want this to go on for too long.

My neice went through the same thing. Did she by any chance tear her colon when she pooped a while back? It may have hurt her and caused her to bleed a little bit, and now she's afraid to poop. My sister then took her daughter to the doctor, because she refused to poop for days. At times it took a long time and it got difficult for her to let it out. FInally a friend, doctor of mine said go KIWI fruit. She'll have no other choice but to go. It helps with her patients who suffer with constipation. Lentil soup with olive oil and other natural fiber beans. Also, put a little vaseline at the outer colon area, to soften her up.

Good luck

i noticed someone said kiwi fruit, and maybe try prune juice or grape juice. he will want/hae to go then. you don't want him to get to backed up! good luck

Oh you haven't meet my son...I finally took him in to see teh DR.to make sure there wasn't an underlying medical issue.There wasn't he was a "poop holder" he didn't want to poop anywhere but home he would hold it till he came home from spending a few days with grandparents,not at preschool,know where.He did this for a long time.Per DRs. orders since I tried everything else apple juice high fiber foods lots of fruits & veggies to go with 1 TBS. of mineral oil in his juices he didn't notice the taste or the oiliness becasue I put a lid on the cup made it with ice and it was good and cold.Yup it got him pooping took a few days in the beginning but after that 2 weeks he was getting reg.I don't recommend that you try this because it was per DRs. orders it can be found in the antacid ailse my son was 4 when this happend but was dealing with it since he was 21/2.I would give a call to your DR.s office & ask or just have him be seen he may be constipated rabbit turds are a sign of constipation.There are also anal suppsitories for young children you can try those & see how it takes effect they do work.There isn't much you can do you can't force him other than giving him mineral oil or a suppository to help relieve himself oh ya another thing I spent countless hrs. rubbing his tummy trying to make his system work before the use mineral oil if he is a poop holder he'll outgrow it mine is now 7 & does well