Egg Donation - Marysville,CA

Kim's thoughts and comments are right along with mine, only she said it much better than I would have.

Because I would have these thoughts myself, I wouldn't be able to do it. I think egg donation is great, but I think it would be too close to home.

I say no--don't do it.

I believe it will open a Pandora's box that you don't want open.

One last thing, is the aunt planning to be open about the donation to the child?

Hi C.,
Please take your time in making this decision. I think it is a wonderful gift to give if you can give it with no strings/feelings attached. Personally, I think it would be difficult to see the baby/child and nothing, but part of me or my child. That's why I feel I could be a surrogate for a family member without using my eggs if needed, but not an egg donor. Each person has a different take on it, and you need to be sure to take the time to figure out what is the right one for you.

Best of luck in your decision.

I think egg donation is a wonderful thing. However, I think donating to a family member may cause problems, emotions later on. She can go to a clinic and pay for donated eggs. You should really think about this decision, it will affect you for the rest of your life and the childs life as well.

You are a new mom and feel very close to the "egg" that grew inside you. Things you need to think about are:

1. Are you going to consider this "your" child? Don't just answer right away. Think long and hard about it.
2. What happens if you disagree with her parenting style?
3. Will you consider "her" child to be a sibling to your child?

Given that you have shared blood-ties, this baby from your egg would be your aunt or uncle. I would strongly recommend against this if you are even the teensiest bit uncertain about it.

You just underwent a major body-changing event. Talk to your OB/GYN about the medical concerns you have. Also, have there been instances where the ovaries or falopian tubes were damaged during this procedure? Your priority is your little family first and foremost now.

Don't let ANYONE make you feel guilty if you decide your decision is no. It is not your duty to make sure that all of your family members have kids who have blood ties. There are many agencies where you can get donated eggs.

If you are leaning toward doing this, I would still call the fertility specialist at one of the egg doner agencies and ask to speak to their psychologist. Ask what kind of track record that egg-donations within families have.

If you think that you would have serious problems thinking of any donated egg of yours as being your aunt's child then say so.

Good Luck,
K.

you would need to inject hormones into your self, talk with your Dr and do your research. She is asking a lot, don't forget about the baby she will have. Do you mind seeing your child on holidays and such being raised by your Aunt?

Hi C.,

Having gone through IVF with an egg donor, I can tell you it's a big committment to become a donor. The going rate is around $5 to 6k for the donor because it's a big time committment and harsh on your body. You start with birth control to synch your cycle with the recipient and then begin Lupron and other drugs to stimulate eggs. During the process you are going to the IVF clinic every other day or so so that the progress of eggs can be monitored through ultrasound and your meds adjusted, if necessary. Any IVF clinic can walk you through a typical cycle and the drugs involved.

I considered using my sister's eggs because I thought her's would be as genetically close to mine as was possible. I am glad I did not end up going that route though - my sister is not the most emotionally stable person, to say the least, and I never want to deal with explaining to my kids who exactly their egg donor is and having my kids know that person and also with whatever emotional attachment my sister would be bound to feel for my kids.

Dealing with infertility was difficult to say the least and I totally understand your Aunt's desire to keep the genes in the family so to speak, and it also could reduce costs, if you truly "donate" without compensation. BUT it creates a VERY complicated family dynamic even under the best of cirumstances. Be sure you can truly handle it emotionally.

Also, please also keep in mind that egg donation very often produces more embryos than are necessary for 1 cycle. I think you relinquish all rights to any of that material and if they chose to freeze any embryos, they can possibly have more children later, make sure you're on board for that possiblity too.

Please feel free to contact me if you have any other questions about the process.

Good luck deciding and do not feel bad at all if you decide not to, it's not selfish to do that.

Best,
S.

C.,

OK, as all have said its too soon after your giving birth to start this kind of process, however, once your done breast feeding...ask yourself if you have any beliefs that hinder your doing it ie: the egg is the child so the child is really mine etc.etc. I think that I lose my "eggs" essentially each month as I have my period...it means no eggs were given life, period...no phun intended lol, someone said give blood, money, bone marrow but not eggs that had me laughing right out loud it is EXACTLY the same...giving eggs is not giving a baby but giving a "medicine" like blood or tissues to help someone make a baby...lol goodness I am suprised at some of the answers you had...but hey, to each an opinion yes? Much Blessings in your choice just do what is right for you as this has no one right answer dear.

C. :o)

I've been considering IVF with an egg donor and various people have suggested I use a relative's egg or even one or the other of my adult daughter's eggs (from a previous marriage). No thank you! I refuse to be related to my child in more than one way. I don't want to be the mother and the grandmother, or the mother and the aunt or, in your case, the cousin and the mother. Isn't there a country song to that effect? "Oh my father is my uncle ...." You could end up on Oprah! Oh wait, she's quitting in 2010, isn't she? I'll believe it when I see it.

I looked up Lupron (the hormone given for stimulating egg production) in Thomas Hale's "Medications and Mother's Milk." He has done most of the research on drugs and nursing. While the studies don't suggest that this drug can be passed in your milk and if it does pass in small amount to the baby, the baby can not absorb it thru the milk. It isn't bioavailable orally. It has not been studied in Lactating women but it does lower prolactin levels so there is concern it would lower milk production particularly in early nursing postpartum. In the lactation risk category they give it a L5 which means it is contraindicated usually means risk to the infant but the author notes his reasoning as a significant risk to breastfeeding and maintaining a supply level.

Once you have completed nursing, I wouldn't stop early for this you should also consider how you feel about knowing the child concieved with your egg. Not intellectually but how you would feel emotionally. Would you feel like it is your child and could you separate those thoughts. At 4 mths after having a child your emotions may not be at a level where you should make this decision either. And if you are considering having another child yourself you should ask your own dr. how this could affect your reproductive future. Just make sure you make this decision very carefully and not just to please someone else or be helpful. Those are my 2 cents but wanted to make sure you don't compromise your own child's benefits from nursing. We work so hard on our supplies!

Hi C.,

I considered doing this for my brother after I had my first child and everything I've read indicates that you cannot donate while you are breastfeeding. It is also necessary for you to have at least three regular menstrual cycles prior to participating in an egg donation cycle.

That may serve you well so that you can take some time to think about whether it is the right decision for you. Helping someone have a child is the most wonderful thing you can possibly do for someone else, but it also has to be right for you.

Good luck. I hope this works out for your family.
D.

Give money, blood, kidneys or bone marrow to your family. Don't donate your gamete unless you are ready for an emotional roller coaster and years of issues. The kidney won’t one day ask, “Who’s my real mommy?” or at age sixteen say “I hate my birth mom because she won’t buy me a cell phone, can I live with you genetic mom?”

i don't know a great deal about this, but i am pretty sure in included lots of hormone treatment, something you are likely to want to avoid if breastfeeding. why not direct your aunt to a donor facility?

i don't know what drugs they use for this sort of procedure, but a few years back i considered donating eggs because i was broke and you can make a lot of money. i did some research on the hormones they give you to prep your body for the 'egg harvesting' and it is narly. narly!! some women don't get side effects, but those that do have them for the rest of their life! you cannot get insurance if you have taken this drug. and i could be wrong here because it was a few years back, but i believe the side effects may not happen until years down the road. i don't remember the name of the drug that i researched, but it was enough for me. i kept on scraping my pennies...

I think they will use a lot of medicines to help stimulate the egg production ,and the medicines are not good for the baby.If you can wait till you wean her off.

Hi C.,

You've already received a lot of advice - and some of it a bit different. I've been on both ends, harvesting eggs and getting eggs from a donor, because of our infertility problems. The medical aspects of the procedure are of course intense - lots of dr visits and lots of hormones. But I have to say that it did not make me feel bad in any real significant way. Nothing worse than the feeling of a real bad crampy period. My sister decided to donate her eggs to me (turned out my eggs were not good). Her experience with the egg harvesting was similar - no real problems. The whole procedure took 2 weeks. There are differences between the type of procedure the doctors decide on (which scheme of hormones and for how long they will be given before egg harvesting). But this is all technical stuff - it really isn't that big of a deal. Fact of the matter is, what other moms have already written, how will you handle this emotionally later. Most people tend to say "no, it's a bad idea". But this is a personal decision. And in our case this was a great idea. My sister and I are very close. We talked about all aspects of this decision (and still do), including what will we tell the kids and what she will feel like when I make decisions she doesn't personally agree with. Everything must be very clear - these are my kids, and she has no say in anything my husband and I decide on regarding their upbringing. We are both fairly stable people and the decision was very well thought through. My TWINS :) are now one year old. My sister is my best friend in the world and fully supports me in everything I do. Her input (aside from the eggs) is just normal everyday opinions about this or that. I just wanted to give you the other side of the story. After 5 years of trying with no success, this really has worked out great. Good luck.

There are women on here talking about Lupron- I was recently told that was a drug that some doctors give to women who will get a hysterectomy- to basically stop them from having periods! I thought I also read that this drug "could" have irreversable effects.I would not do that to my body if I were at an age where I was just starting to have a family with my new husband.

Two,you must consider your husband's feelings- he must be 100% ok with it.

Three, you should consider how God feels about it. God is the creator, and I know it is common now for people to intervene in creating life, but really, that should be up to him.
I think that is a WAY over-the-top request from your aunt. You should harbor no guilt in saying no.

If she really needs a baby that bad, there are SO MANY babies who need to be adopted.