My nearly three year old daughter is getting to be a real handful, and I have begun to suspect it's in part because we've been too inconsistent with our evening routine. I really want to try establishing a consistent evening sequence of events. This seems like a simple enough thing to do, but I am having trouble mapping it all out in my head.
So here's the general parameters. She's in day care all day (will start preschool in the fall). Her dad and I both work full time and after we pick her up from day care, we pretty reliably are home by 6:00. We get dinner started and eat by 7:00. DD has a bath every other night, usually right after she finishes dinner. (If she has a bath every night her skin gets too dry) We put her in bed no later than 9:00. She usually wants to watch a little TV at some point in the evening, and I'm OK with slotting in time for one 30 min. show - maybe while I'm getting dinner going. Otherwise, it's too easy to have it on all evening, and there have been a few where that's happened... which I think is part of the problem and why I want to make some changes.
I'd love to know what other two-working parent families do to keep their evenings on track and sane. What do your evenings look like? Also, how do you work to keep things on track when there are changes to the routine - for example, one of my sons has a school event tonight and I'm going to be out?
Thanks!!
Our routine is to have dinner, play, have a bath, brush teeth, get into jammies, read a story with some milk, and go to bed.
It doesn't matter whether it is me, or hubs alone, or together, or a sitter who is with DS. He has gotten used to the routine, and likes it. So long as everyone is aware of the routine and willing to carry it out, it can work even if you aren't there.
good luck toyou and yours,
F. B.
Well I have two. One is in kindergarten, and the 20 mo old is in daycare part-time with the other time being watched by grandma.
I get home usually around 5:15 after picking up my son. They are both usually starving, so I cut up some grapes until dinner is ready. They usually watch TV during this time.
We eat between 6-6:30.
After dinner, we all go outside and play if the weather is nice. Have to get out that little bit of extra energy before bed. :)
Or
Tues and Thurs- son has Taekwondo. I stay at home with baby and we play together outdoors.
7:15- Bath for both. After bath, they read and/or play.
8:00- Listening to music, cuddles, etc. Baby to bed.
8:30- Son to bed. Usually, I'll let him read quietly in his bed until he's ready to sleep.
We rarely variate from this schedule. Maybe on Friday night we will go out to eat. If so, we pick up with bath upon returning and follow the rest of the schedule out.
We have a 4 year old and a 2 1/2 year old. Our typical night is:
Home by 5:30 - start dinner while kids play inside or out. We try to do crock pot meals or make ahead as much as possible, so that dinner is on the table by 6.
Playtime outside 6:30 to 7:00.
Bath every other night at 7:00 - on nights with no bath, we have extra outside time.
TV and snack time at 7:20 - one cartoon - they take turns choosing.
Story time at 7:45 followed by brushing teeth.
Lights out by 8.
If things are off in that one of us isn't home or anything like that we try to keep as much to the schedule as possible. If it is off, it seems like no one sleeps well. We also will make adjustments, such as give a bath two nights in a row, so that we skip bath on the night that my husband works, etc.
Good Luck!
I just wanted to toss in one comment: With my 3 kids, I discovered that allowing no TV during the week ended up being a lot less stressful. Not sure why, because it seemed so easy letting them have that little fix every night. But when I removed the option from their lives they just sort of settled in and learned how to entertain themselves, or to "help" me with my routine. I was amazed at how much more peaceful it was once we made the switch.
Good luck!
Hi J. M.
You sound like a caring mom.
My husband works full time and I part time. we have one 31/2 year old son.
I think every parent needs a routine that is comfortable for them....
Some questions to perhaps consider as you rethink yours:
1. Is my child able to fall asleep easily at 9? Is she getting enough sleep?
2. Has my child had time to read a book during the day or not?
3. How is my child's morning routine? Should we pick out clothes together the night before? Should we go to bed earlier?
4. Do I know how she is feeling about her day? Is there time while I prepare dinner to share an activity so that some natural conversation can come about?
5. Does my child know that brushing teeth, washing hands and perhaps a book are a 'set thing' before bed?
I hope this helps.
Jilly
I have a 5 y/o and 2 y/o. Hubby and I both work, but our working days only overlap 3 days a week (I'm off Sat/Sun, he's off Mon/Tue).
We stick to the same thing mon-fri for the most part because that's the typical workweek.
5 pm snack
playtime in or outside, or video (yes my kids watch TV, gasp!)
6pm start making dinner
7pm dinner
7:30-8:00 Limbo time (more play, or sometimes dinner runs later and is just getting finished up by 8:00)
8:00 head upstairs for bath if we haven't already made our way up there.
8:30 out of bath, into jammies, after dinner snack and brush teeth. Read books. Hopefully all are sleepy by then and lights out by 9pm.
I find that there are a few key time points to keep it all on track. I have to give them the snack at 5 so they don't get antsy/starved in the next couple hours before dinner. I have to start cooking at 6pm if I want it ready by 7. The latest I will move the party upstairs after dinner is 8pm. The rest falls into place around that.
It's rough to keep the routine exactly the same because I have two kids, and as they grow things evolve. EG my 5 year old likes to take a shower now, which we are working around becausse it used to be so easy to plunk them both in the bath together and pull them out at the same time. Basically the same order applies though:
head upstairs-get in bath- get out- jammies on- snack/dessert (but no more playing or TV, lights starting to go off downstairs)-brush teeth- climb in bed with a few books and lights out.
I do a bath every night. I think that helps (it is always the same). We only skip on occasion, like when we are out late at a family event or holiday or something. Can you find an alternate activity that would fill in the bathtime? Like it's either bath night or boardgame night. Or Bath or table activites (puzzles or playdoh with no TV noise). You know, some other kind of wind-down activity on the non-bath nights that will be consistent.
Sometimes things just can't be the same every night. Last night my sister and 2 nephews popped by right at toothbrushing time so my nephew could borrow a shirt from my husband. The girls went crazy and put on their best performances for my nephews, showing off toys, costumes, bringing them artwork. So that derailed things a little. But thats OK :)
Tonight I have to go back for a work event for an hour or so. I hope my husband sticks to my normal routine but he is not likely to I have found :( Oh well!
You tag-team and do things like let her have the TV time during your cooking time or read her the story in the bath. We try to have DD in bed by 9:30 and for that we start her toward bed around 8:30 with the bath and books routine. Sometimes to get it all done---you don't. Skip the bath or read 1 book or put her in PJs on the way home from the event so if she falls asleep you just roll her into bed. Once we established a routine, even if we don't watch the clock, it became easier to get it done and get her to bed. We're consistent enough that the cats will start bugging us for dinner when we start her routine (they get fed after she's in bed).
