Ex Boyfriend Wants Supervised Visitaion

Jessica, I am so sorry. What a difficult situation. The best advice I can give is to seek out legal assistance immediately. What your ex did was neither right nor fair, and there are ways you can fight back and get your daugher back.

I am not sure what your financial situation is, but there is a service based in Santa Monica for a 1/2 hour consultation with a lawyer for a $25 administration fee (you don't have to live in SM to use this service). They are excellent; I have used this a couple of times when I have found myself in situations where I needed legal advice and was not ready to fork over a huge amount of cash but needed to get immediate advice and get the ball rolling. It is kind of a pro-bono thing; the $25 dollars is only an administration fee.

Call the number; they will put you in contact with an expert lawyer in the field you need. As emotional as this situation is, explain your situation as quickly and succinctly as possible, and be ready with a pen and paper to take notes since you only have a half hour. The lawyer will tell you what steps to take next. Sometimes, you can even break this consultation into two 15 minute consultations so you can get the advice you need, then get your ducks in order, then call the lawyer back and go from there. Good luck to you -- my heart goes out to you.

Also, I would call rather than e-mail; sometimes their e-mail gets backlogged.

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THE LAWYER REFERRAL AND INFORMATION SERVICE (LRIS) can refer you to an experienced attorney in the area of law you need. There is a $25 administrative fee for a one-half hour consultation with a lawyer. There may be no fee if you need a lawyer because you have been injured.

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I am so sorry you are going through this. First of all try really hard to keep it together for your daughter. Do you know where she is at? Have you tried to see her? Document EVERYTHING!!! Start writing everything down. How often in the past 3 years he has seen your daughter. Has he ever gone with her to the docotr? Has he ever had any problems with drinking? Drugs? You need to establish what kind of relationship he & his family have had. Has he been paying any child support? Get figures together of what your expenses have been over the last 3.5 years. Has she ever been sick and he not been around. Does she go to daycare? Get letters from everyone you know about what kind of mother you are? You need to build a strong case and get a lawyer ASAP. This has to be so hard. Hang in there. And PRAY!!! Good luck

I don't have any good advice, I'm sorry. But, I just don't see how he has that right. Have you been over there to get her back. Sounds like maybe his family has persuaded him to do this. Be careful they don't take her back east when they leave!

But, you do need to get help. There is a website - California Courts - Self Help Center - maybe it can help - http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/family/custody/progr...

God Bless!

Gosh, this sounds like kidnapping to me. What do the Lawyers say? You must be going out of your mind!!
I know that there is assistance out there, I just don't know the name of it. I hope someone responds to you with some info.
Good luck to you and your little girl.

First of all my heart goes out to you and your little girl. Second I agree with the post of start getting letters from every one that knows the relationship between you and your daughter and what kind of mother you are. What you do for your daughter financially. Be prepared for court. Don't miss any court days and stay on top of everything. Get a good lawyer or service that will walk you thru the steps so you don't miss a beat. What kind of relationship did you and your ex have before this and what is his reasoning for why he is doing this? Did it just come out of the blue? If you are a good mother he is only hurting the child to be away from you. Does she still go to daycare/preschool and was it one you took her or he you may be able to pick her up from there if she attending one or from where ever she is being watched you have the same rights as him so you can also take her. Be sure the outcome is that you have something legal that shows your rights so he can never do this again to you. Keep yourself strong for your daughters sake. Keep us posted.

If she goes to a daycare, then go there and see if he is taking her. If she is there, you can pick her up - the daycare CANNOT legally keep your daughter from either you or your ex without a restraining order - so make sure you get there before he does (if he's taking her at all). I also think this sounds like kidnapping - see if yoy can get the daycare director and some neighbors to write letters stating that your daughter lives with you and you are the primary caregiver and then go to the police and tell them she has been taken from you, you haven't been allowed to see her at all, your ex says he is not going to give her back... see if you can get your ex to text you (this is hard evidence). I don't know what else you can do, but keep in touch with the lawyers and do everything according to the law so there is no case against you!

Document EVERYTHING... always. And KEEP all the voice-mails he left you.

If he does not have any custody... he is kidnapping your daughter.
Who is listed on her birth certificate?

What are the Lawyers doing? They are the ones who should know any laws/loopholes to get this guy.

I would think you can get a restraining order... AND, GO ON THE RECORD THAT YOUR DAUGHTER IS "MISSING." FILE A POLICE REPORT SAYING SHE IS MISSING. You don't know where she is. THEREFORE, you would be using another "route" of finding her and getting your Ex slapped with some kind of criminal charge. Perhaps, this is the "angle" you can use....

Just tell the Police your daughter is missing... since that is the case... the point that she is with her "Dad" is perhaps moot... since your Ex could be just any "stranger" that happens to have your child.

Put up fliers of her around your town... list her as "missing"... and get anyone to help you. Call your family... friends etc.

From now on, as you know, DO NOT TRUST HIM. And, get custody, only you, if at all possible. He is displaying bad conduct.

Have you called his family? Do you even know how to contact them or have their phone number?

This is a BIG RED FLAG. Has he been untrustworthy before? Or have any mental problems? Has he been in your daughter's life all along, or only now?

Very suspicious all of this, of course.
YOu need to get good lawyers... and do whatever you can.

I'm so sorry... I will have you in my thoughts.... I wish you all the best, and the safety of your daughter.

Please let us know how this turns out....

All the best,
Susan

My heart hurts for you. This is so sad. I would check with another lawyer. They usually give free advice. I would start there. Why is this not kidnapping? That does not sound right that it is not, kidnapping. Check with other sources. Look up kidnapping on the web. I would call Laura's house. They are a place for abused women, but they know of other laws or help groups too. I will get there number for you. This would be free to call them and there opened 24 hours a day. Look up Laura's house and they have other things on there web site that might help you.

24 Hour, 7 days a week (Toll Free Hotline):
(866) 498-1511 (or) ###-###-####
Sue

okay, i'm confused. who has legal and full custody of your daughter at this moment?

or is it currently a joint custody?

either/OR
he has no right. And i think it's criminal what he is doing.. if you currently have some form of custody of your child (either full or joint).

Now, if you have no custody, then that's a different story.
Don't get how the cops can't do anything...when your ex is basically kidnapping your child!

a emergency restraining order sounds right to me. even if you dont have her right now, still go thru the process. since arrangements had been met for the visits, this is why its not concidered a kidnapping. now that its after the fact maybe you can try the police again.

please keep us informed!