Excessive Crying - NOT Colic

I had a crier and do not believe in 'crying it out'. In the short term, I would hold the baby in the bathroon with the water running and it always soothed him. It does get better at about twelve weeks. Just hold her tightly, you'll miss this time before you know it. Also, I did not use a pacifier - don't know why - but if that is what helps the baby and could help her soothe herself, by all means use one.

Is she a bottle baby or a breast baby? Have you tried giving her more to eat?? My daughter did the sleep for 20 min. thing and crying when she was her age and we ended up increasing her formula by an ounce. Is she a back or belly sleeper?? We can only put Scarlett down on her back - she WILL not sleep any other way. We ended up at the dr with her and he finally said try her on her back and it worked, except now at 5 mo she's rolling over and wakes herself up when she rolls onto her back. We tried a lot of things - we tried holding her on a pillow so she felt like we were actually holding her but it was the pillow instead - just can't leave her alone while she's on it. Hope it all works out for you!!

Looks like you got some great advice already! I just want to add - that an 8 week old...doesn't know the meaning of the word "spoiled"! So she's not crying for that reason! Don't let anyone tell you that you are spoiling an 8 week old!!! Honestly, until she's maybe 10-12 months does she understand that when she cries, "someone picks me up..." (personal opinion, and that of many articles I've read!).

I agree with someone that said laying her flat might be the problem? Does she sleep good in the car sitting up? Or in a bouncy seat? That might be a clue that she needs to be elevated! You can buy wedges to put in the crib that go under the mattress...might work!

Good luck...

Listen to your instincts. she is not spoiled she is not feeling well. Colic is what doctors say when they do not know what is wrong. I am feeling that she either has reflux and it hurts to lie down becaue that is when the reflux burn the most lying down and the same with ear infections they cant lie down becaeus the pressure hurts too much. Also she could be having trouble digesting the formula or breast milk. if you are breast feeding stop drinking milk and dairy products and stop eating anythign with wheat in it. if you are doing formula to to similac aliementum or nutramagin. if that does not help in 10 days then it is probably reflux does she spit up at all? I would keep her up right let her even sleep in her car seat or swing etc. please do not let anyone tell you it is colic that means they do not know what is wrong and then obviously there is something wrong your sweet little daughter is tryign to communicate to you. I do not think it is behaviorial, I would always assume it is medical first. good luck. see if she needs to be on zantac or prevacid and then if that helps you can keep the breast feeding or formula. If not do what I said about the formula and take out milk and wheat in your diet if breast feeding. sorry i just read how she is not sleeping it is defintiely her tummy what is she drinking??? you are sooooooooooooooo right there is something wrong, does she have a cold or anything? Check ears or moths soars the little things first then assume it is something mroe with the food and the other girls are right you cannot spoil a child especially a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
J.

First of all, there is no such thing as a spoiled 8 week old. They cry when they have a stimulus they don't know how to deal with. Check her tummy. If it seems bloated or feels kind of hard she may have gas. I had one colicky baby and it was soley due to gas. I used infant massage and it helped him a lot. He slept a lot better during the day and he was quiet a lot longer (he still cried a lot). If she feels better being "up" you may want to consider buying a sling where you can wear her for long periods of time but your hands are still free. She gets to be close to you and you can still do a lot of the other stuff you want to do. Enjoy this time because before you know it she won't want you to hold her!

My oldest, who is almost 10 now screamed all the time day or night; bottle fed soy formula. Second one did the same thing; exclusively breastfed same with the third and fourth. Turned out to be food allergies. I nurse now, but have to avoid dairy,soy,eggs,and peanuts in all forms. Try changing to a gentle formula like good start or gentlease if you bottle feed.

SAHM OF 4- 9yr/4yrB and 2yr/5monthG

My baby went through the same thing...didn't sleep for very long at a time, then woke up crying. We found out that she was lactose intollerant and was having really bad gas and upset tummies from it. We switched her to a lactose-free formula (for fussy babies) and that helped out some. Also, try putting her in a baby swing. My daughter loved it...so much that that was were she would sleep at night. Not sure if it was that she was sitting up a little more or the motion and light background noise that was soothing. Either way, it worked!! Hope this helps and good luck.

that was my son! he is now 9 mo old and doing a lot better. he stopped sleeping the day we came home from the hospital (he was in a "noisy" special care unit for 3 days). did your ped talk to you about reflux? my son started on zantac at 2 mo old. he still cannot lay flat. do you have a swing for her to sleep in? I have a rocker recliner bassinet (fisher price from target) that my son started sleeping in once we got him out of the car seat. he also used an incline wedge (from babies r us) in his crib until he was 6 mo old. my son started sleeping more than 15 minutes at a time once we got him on medicine for reflux and kept him on an incline at all times. the sound machine (homedics brand from walmart) works really well too. he likes the rain sounds, maybe your daughter would like the hearbeat sounds. yes more sleep will greatly help her disposition, best book ever: Healthy Sleep Habuts, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, MD best of luck! no she is not spoiled, just very loved!

Congratulations on your baby girl! Both of my children loved to be held as babies and still do as a 9 year old boy and 5 year old girl. I do not believe that there is any way you can spoil an infant. You have to understand only eight weeks ago she was inside you in a very warm and safe place and now she just loves to be and feels safe in your arms. I know you can not get anything done let alone go to the bathroom or take a shower without her wanting to be held but I personally think that is normal. This is coming from a mom who never let my kids cry it out until they were old enough to understand why they were not getting their way. Enjoy this time with her and believe me it will get better and you will have more important battles with her than her wanting to be held all the time. This is one that I would let her win. She will never be this age again just love her and be that safe, warm place for her and you will be amazed at how much you can do one handed! Do not worry about grandma and grandpa they will figure it out and more than likely she will be sleeping more on her own by then because she has been made to feel safe now. My mother-in -law stared watching my son for me when he was an infant and I think she held him more than I did. Both of my children are well behaved and have lots of friends and know that their mom and dad love than more than anything on earth.
Good luck and God bless.

Please, please do not listen to the people telling you your daughter can manipulate you. She doesn't have the cognitive ability to manipulate. Infants have NEEDS, not wants. She just wants to be close to her momma. :)

Have you ever tried a sling of some sort? Babywearing allows your baby to be next to you and for you to be hands free. If you breastfeed, they can also nurse while being worn.

http://askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp - good info on fussy babies.

Good luck and hang in there!

it sounds to me like the "lying" might be a problem...have you tried in a infant seat... sometimes the fluid in their ears gathers if they are flat and causes extreme pain

sometimes they cannot breathe well if flat...so the cry...or even constipation can cause crying...
yes sometimes they are spoiled...but with love...

good luck

Some babies just cry a lot(my second one about drove me nuts)but there are a few things you can try. After she eats make sure she burps. If she is not burping she may have gas bubbles that are causing her pain and it would hurt more when lying down. If she seems to be burping and passing gas well then something else could be bothering her. I've found that if their ears hurt they don't like to lye down. Have the doctor check for fluid in her ears or ear infection (they usually pull at their ears if its this). You could also try an infant swing that keeps her in a sort of sitting position and see if that will relax her. Some babies just like to feel the warmth of someone nearby. My babies always slept better on their stomachs and my doctor said once they could turn their own heads that was fine (ask your doctor). Good luck.

I have had 3 children and I read books before they were born that helped me so much. My girls rarely cried, due to the schedule we were on. It is so important to have the baby on a schedule so you know what she/he needs. I feed my babies every 3-4 hours depending on their age, and depending on if they were going through a 1-2 day growth spert. before I feed them, I would change their diaper unless they had a dirty diaper between changing times. Then, I would play with them or let them play with their toys until nap time and after nap time the cycle would start all over. Make sure at nap time that you are laying them in their bed and not being rocked to sleep. That way they will learn to go to sleep in thier own bed and won't depend on you to put them to sleep everytime they are tired. Then I would wake them up after about 1 1/2 to 2 hours and they would eat again.
It is usually a sign if they stop crying when you pick them up that they are getting what they wanted. Babies learn from day 1 how to get what they want. Also, if the baby is waking up crying after napping 45 min. don't just run in the room and pick them up. Usually if a baby wakes up crying, it means that they aren't done sleeping yet. They should wake up happy. However, if they are used to you picking them up everytime they cry, then, they are going to need you to be tough for a while and let them cry it out in bed until they learn.
Also, keep in mind that nothing is hard and fast with a baby. Every baby is different, but, you can get them on your schedule and that way when they are crying you will know that they have had everything they need, now it must be something else.

The comment about "nap for about 10 minutes 2 or 3 times a day and then she wakes up screaming" makes me think there is something else wrong. I'd check with your doctor.

Does she use a "binky"?

I wouls also re-evaluate the bed, what she is eating, any other possible ideas.

Hi M.,

Why do you think it isn't colic? Sounds exactly like my daughter when she was a baby and she was colicky. We gave her Milacon (spelling is off) to dispel the gas. It helped, but not all the time.

Eventually she grew out the desperate cries, but she was never a good napper even though we tried all the techniques.

Best of luck!

M.

She's not spoiled. Try the gas drops. Do what you have to to get her as much sleep as possible. Crying it out is not recommended until at least 12 weeks although they respond better usually to it closer to 16 weeks. Courage, she'll grow out of it.

I have to agree w/ a lot of the other moms on here, your baby is Way Too Young to be "Spoiled" Do NOT listen to that comment in a second!! Also I believe as someone else said Dr like to pin the 'Colic' name on a baby when they just don't know what to say. I would take her to the Dr, including a 2nd,3rd or 4th opinion if needed till someone will listen. Mother's have a unique instinct w/ their children! Changing her formula and sleeping positions sounds like a good try too. Just remember try one change at a time and stick w/ it for at least a week before you decide that it not working and try something different.
Good Luck Hun!!!

It is true often times it is excessive gas... sometimes you just have a little one who needs Mommy which in that case I STRONGLY suggest getting a sling... it is easy to do things with the baby in the sling and still give your little one the connection that she desperately needs...

If you go to The Baby Depot (at Burlington coat factory) the NoJo Sling costs about $30 (other places up to $60) or you can do re-search online and maybe even make your own or buy one made by a SAHM...

I did NOT have my NoJo with my first and Dear Lord I SOOOOOOO wish I had =)

I would take the baby to the pedi just to rule out anything physical. My firstborn cried a lot and wanted to be held all the time too. Her pedi said it wasn't colic, just a fussy baby. You cannot spoil a baby that young. I don't care what anyone says. Pick her up and comfort her. Make sure she's wrapped snugly. Some babies don't like having loose coverings, they feel like they're flapping around in space and that is scary to them.

Congratulations and good luck.

I definatley agree you should try the baby wearing. It helped us alot when my son was young. Some babies are just higher needs than others. Also, if you are breastfeeding, you should stongly consider contacting a Le Leche League Leader. My son had gas problems that were easily fixed without me changing my diet, although it was a somewhat rare problem. She could possibly be getting to much air from an improper latch or something else(especially if sore nipples are involved).I am not a proffesional, but it might be worth a try. Good luck!

There is a book/dvd called the Happiest Baby on the Block. It talks about the reasons why babies cry and want to be held so much. They are transitioning into their new environment. They are unsure of their surroundings, except that they know you are their mommy. Are you swaddling? Make sure you wrap nice and tight, so that she can't get her arms out but not tight enough to hurt her. The book also talks about how the womb is loud, and that a vaccuum makes a similar sound to the womb and can calm a fussy baby. Your library may have the book, if you don't want to buy it.

I am wondering if it could be reflux? Have you tried elevating the head of the crib of bassinett? Make sure you are getting good burps and waiting 30 min before laying baby down. Both my babies had reflux but outgrew it by the time they were rolling & sitting up independently.

My middle child cried when we laid her down and it turns out that she had ear infections. When she was upright there was no pressure in her ears. She had ear infections starting at 7 wks and lasted until she had tubes put in at 10 months. Try putting her to sleep in a carrier and see if this works. And check with the Dr.

Get a wrap and wear her (the grandparents can wear her, as well). It gives you both hands back and gives extra warmth and comfort to the baby.

I wore both of my kids all the time until almost 6 months of age. They could sleep in the wrap and I could still do my chores, etc.

CIO is not recommended (and not proven to work) on children under the age of 1. At this age, they are completely helpless and rely on you (or another caregiver) to give them what they need. Letting a baby CIO is only telling them that their needs are not important.

When you lay her down to sleep, how is she laying? If she is completely flat, you may want to see if she will do better in a more inclined position. I do agree that if you are breastfeeding her to look at your diet. Gluten/Wheat, dairy and soy are the biggest allergens (especially for little tummies). You may want to go "bland" for a week or so and then start adding things back in...1 new thing every few days to see if it's a food trigger.

Her waking up screaming means that she is uncomfortable. She may have excessive gas (you can try gripe water or Mylicon--sp?) or she may need to be burped more. If it's gas, it sometimes helps to lay baby tummy down over your lap (support baby's head with your hand) and with the your hand gently (but firmly) rub their back. If that doesn't work, put baby up to your shoulder and pat the back while doing a light bouncing motion.

Put her in a bouncy, infant seat, or swing and see if she sleeps better. Some babies sleep better at a more inclined angle.

Hope that helps!!!

I vote yes on the "not sleeping enough" issue. I had a little crier the first time, too. When he slept more (daytime, esp.), he woke up happier. I will say that it takes you (or another caregiver) staying home with her for a few weeks to get her into a routine, but it's worth it. I don't remember which book (I read about 6 of them) tells you that they are only suppose to stay awake for an hour (or 2...when they're older) at a time, but it's true. A tired baby will go down easier than a too-tired baby. Then it's a battle of wills. Also, my neighbor's little girl had acid reflux and would only sleep in her carseat, swaddled. They eventually got some meds that helped her, too. I hope you check into both these things and that something helps!

M., you're not alone! My son was exactly the same way. And no, you're not spoiling her by holding her at this age. Until about 4-6 months, you need to respond to her cries. She's unable to calm herself until that age, and needs your help. For the first 2-3 months of my son's life, I slept in 2 2-hour shifts because of his crying. My DS got 3 2-hour shifts of sleep.

My advice is to look at how you're putting her to sleep. Does she want to be swaddled or not swaddled? Would a pacifier help to soothe her for longer periods of rest? Does she feel cozy and safe? Remember, she was used to the snugness of the womb, so she may not feel secure in a large crib. Try a snug bassinette, a bouncy seat, or a baby swing. Many people will say to not put the baby to sleep in one of those, but I'm telling you it's all about survival at this point, and your daughter is way too young to develop bad sleeping habits.

I hope you find some relief soon. Hang in there. It will get better!

A.

I would check with your doctor about reflux!!!
And I would start wearing your baby!!!!!
http://www.wearyourbaby.com/
You CAN NOT spoil an 8 week old by picking her up and comforting her. She needs something or she wouldn't be crying.
Just follow your instinct and be patient :)

Hi. Not that this has happened to me with either of my two, but my cousin had alot of trouble with her daughter. The problem wound up being acid reflux. She took her to the doctor and he gave her medicine. Also it helped to keep baby in a prop-up position such as a carseat. I hope this helps.

I've been there! Those were some VERY long nights and days. I read a great book that started helping me with him that night. It's called "Happiest Baby on the Block" I forget the author but i got it at borders. The author talks about the baby needing a 4th trimester in the womb. since they don't get that 4th trimester you have to create it for them. The author talks about the S's: SHHHing, swinging, sucking, swaddling, wearing your baby. My son kept doing the startle reflex in his 10 min naps and waking up, so swaddling helped. and I swear by the white noise. we call it his vacuum CD, he still uses it. He is a light sleeper so once we start that CD he knows its bedtime and it shuts out any other noises. We even sleep sounder as it comes through the monitor. I give this CD as a shower gift and it becomes are friends' go to CD. Hope this helps
Good luck!

Maybe she has excess gas? Also, my mom told me this, I believe it also...at this age, you cannot spoil a baby! So don't believe those who say otherwise. If you can, and if the grandparents will be able to when they watch her, I would hold her as much as she needs right now. My daughter was fussy too, and she was very gassy. I held her ALOT and let her sleep in my arms. I also switched her formula to the Carnation Good start, that seemed to help (if you are formula feeding that is)

I would take her to a Doctor to have her evaluated to make sure that there isn't anything physically wrong. It sounds like a pain cry and those type of cries mean something is wrong. Another Mom suggested Mylicon drops...which are a god send. I would definitely try those in the interim. You give them before every meal.

My opinion on colic is that there is something wrong with the stomach. In my kid's case, they both had reflux. If you are nursing, you might try changing your diet or at least paying attention to it to rule out any allergies. If you are using formula, I would consider trying a different kind.

Hope this helps. Once you figure it out, you will have a completely different baby.

Good luck.
N.

I know this is hard, all the crying, my 2nd child had colic everynight for 4 hours straight. If you are breastfeeding, you might want to try not having dairy or gluten. Gluten is in bread, and pasta. Sometimes this can irritate their digestive system. If you're not breastfeeding, maybe you'll just wanna try changing formula to see if there's a difference. And just so you know, it seems like it's never gonna end, but this time will pass quickly.

does she scream if you put her down in like one of those vibrating upright chair/bouncer things? My first thought was, something hurts her laying down... does she cry when you are holding her laying down? If she was older i'd say ear infection, can they get ear infections at 8 weeks? good luck!

Hi M., I hope things have been getting better. I would like to first say that I think it is impossible to spoil an 8 week old. They need the attention and affection to feel cared for. My first born, my daughter, actually had colic from about 2 weeks to 2 months old. So I understand about the excessive crying. Have you tried talking to your pediatrician about this? it could be related to missing sleep or even gas. I know with my first born I think I tried to stimulate her mind too much, with toys and play and books, whatever, so she wasn't sleeping as much or having "down time" as much as she probably should have been. But with my second one, I was able to recognize his sleepiness much better and put him down for naps when he seemed ready. Sleep is very important for their mind and their growth and also to help keep them in a good mood. I know I can get pretty grumpy when I don't get as much sleep as I need. I don't know the recommended amount of sleep for babies at each age but your pediatrician should know and be able to help you with this. I know a few 10 min cat naps aren't nearly enough. And sometimes we think we can keep them awake more so they can sleep better at night but actually the opposite is true, they are harder to put to sleep at night when they are fussy from being too tired. Also, it's important to note their signs of sleepiness right away, for naps, because the longer we wait the more agitated they get and then, again, it gets harder to get them to sleep. So, we think they are wanting something besides sleep, which keeps them up longer, when in actuality they are just wanting a nap. It could also be gas that is waking her up, something to ask the doctor. Either way, definitely something to be addresed before leaving her for full-time care with someone. Hope this helps!

Hi M.! I feel for you. I went through one like that also. I watched a video called "The Happiest Baby on the block". It's a little old but very helpful. It reminds you that this child was just carried around for 24 hours a day 7 days a week for 40 weeks! Now being away from you is a bit scary. She may have a hard time settleing in and soothing herself to sleep and to stay asleep and then she may be over stimulated so the next time she needs to nap it is even harder for her to settle in. The video shows the proper way to swaddle a little one and explains the art of shushing and jiggling. It works like majic. Not only did it help with our child who screamed from 8 am to about 10pm everyday but I have showed friends this and it has helped them with thier kids as well. The video is by Dr. Harvey Kuen. I could be off on the spelling of his name and I think he has this all in a book as well. I sincerly wish you the best with this. I know how challenging this can be. Just remember all stages do end. She will not be still crying like this when she is 20. Don't forget the power of prayer as well. I had our church put us and our crying baby on a prayer chain and the very next day she hardly cried at all and when she did I had the skills from the video to help her thought it.

M.,

I'm curious as to why you don't think it's colic. My first son had colic (BAD) and it sounds a LOT like what you described. Let me yell this here for those that tell you, YOU CANNOT SPOIL AN 8 WEEK OLD BY HOLDING HER. She needs you, you are her comfort and security. Also, letting her cry at 8 weeks is too early. I'm not for or against CIO, I do what I'm comfortable with and respect others choices to do the same. But, 8 weeks is too early to try it - IMHO.

My older son spent a LOT of time sleeping in my arms with the Boppy around my waist. I spent a lot of time sleeping upright on our couch that way. He refused to be comforted by anyone else except me. Add to it that I was breastfeeding and I was one stressed Mama! I tried the baby sling and I must have been delerious with exhaustion, because I couldn't figure it out. Lol. I wish I could have, though.

Swaddling worked well with him, too. But he spent a lot of time sleeping in the swing or in his bouncy chair. It seems that the propped up, cuddled feeling worked well for those times when we needed it. He's a great sleeper now in his own bed and on a great schedule (he's 2.5 yrs).

Finally, is she spitting up a lot? When you lay her down is she squirming in pain? If so, I'd look into what you are feeding her. If you are breastfeeding, are you taking in caffiene? I BF both sons and was a saint with son #1. But with son #2, I bent the rules a little bit and indulged in some iced tea. I noticed when I had more that one glass it had an effect on my normally content and sleepy baby. If you are using formula, it may be a good idea to consider changing brands.

Finally, she's not sleeping enough during the day. Ten minutes 2-3 times a day isn't enough. She should be napping more than that. How long is she sleeping at night? Even if she's a GREAT sleeper at night, she should be napping a lot during the day at 8 weeks. Our first son was very sensitive to stimulating things and people. He hated being in crowds and screamed the whole time at family gatherings with my in-laws (there are a lot of them). To get her to nap more during the day, make sure the TV is off and she is in a quiet, comfortable area. Does she take a pacifier? That may help comfort and soothe her.

Sorry I was so long winded here. Just trying to help you out as I went through the SAME thing! Good luck, and IF it is colic, you will be amazed as to how it just stops at about 12 weeks. It sounds terrible, but I wasn't able to enjoy being a Mom until about then.

Good luck.

T.

It could me numerous things. I think the first thing is that she probably isn't getting enough daytime sleep. Start looking at sleep patterns during the day, mainly signs of sleepiness: rubbing eyes, yawning, pulling ears, red eyes, glazed look, and lastly crying. You should try to put her down before the crying begins. You should start to see a pattern and she will probably be napping every 2-3 hours. So if her first nap is from 8-9AM then she should be getting tired again around 11. If you are more of an attachment parent you can just wear her more during the day. Babies that are worn about 3 hours a day cry roughly 45% less then those that aren't. There are numerous slings that are available as well. It sounds like, in general, that she may just be overtired and that a few more hours of rest will make a big difference. Hopefully you will get more advice and also that things improve!!

PS Also at this age, at least I did it and things are fine with us, she can sleep in a swing, bouncy chair, sling/carrier, and in your arms etc. It doesn't mean she will have negative sleep associations later.

I would have her ears checked. Maybe an ear infection? Whenever my younges has an ear infection, he doesn't want to lay down and has trouble sleeping and cries alot. However, my oldest sleeps more when he has an ear infection. Who knows.

I would check the ears first and if it isn't them then your daughter may be going through a seperation thing. Do you nurse? I did with my youngest and the only way he will go to sleep is if I put him in his bed and close the door. He cries for a couple minutes sometimes and then goes right to sleep once he knows I'm not coming back in because the door is closed.

Good luck. Hope something works for you soon - I know how horrible you must feel even thought YOU SHOULDN'T!
A.