Excessive Worry About the World We Live In

Oh yes, you would have to be numb not to. I go to a place called Care2 where people can do things to help. They have groups and stuff too. It's great. Sometimes if you do a few things to help make a difference you feel a world better.

You are not the only one! I worry constantly about everything. I just try to not worry so much, but be extra carefuly and be aware of everything that I can be. I think it is great that you went to someone to help you.

I think being extra careful is part of being a mom. It does change you. Part of what you describe sounds like a spiritual problem though. I'd be interested in what your husband might say about it, since you're worried about your family,too,and he is family. Does he know how you feel? He might be a good one for reassurance.

I would say that having some worry is good in that it keeps your guard up. However, if it is ruining the quality of your life may I suggest you talk to a clergyperson? Talking with a therapist is ok, but talking with a clergyperson would add another dimension onto it that you probably wouldn't hear from a counselor. I just hope you feel comfortable with that idea-that's one thing a clergy person is there for.

I also think you should tackle this problem now, not only for your own quality of life, but for your child's. You can(accidently) make your child learn to be negative about life.
But for your own self, and those around you, do all you can to shed the unreasonable fears-and a counselor can help you tell which is which. A clergy person can (if they really know their stuff-some don't!) help you on a level that no one else can.

I just read some of the other responses. I've been using the term clergy person, since I don't know what your beliefs are and I'm trying to be respectful of whatever, but I would have rather said Pastor. Pastors specialize in knowing about God, and God is the one who knows why the world is like is and has a plan for each of us even in the midst of it. So please seek out a pastor, as you may not know where in the Bible to go to for assurance-it happens.

Hi D.. you are definitely not alone in this one. I think that I spend most of my worrying when I am driving even if I am alone, without my husband or son in the car. It has made me a more defensive driver and I really do think of the worst case senario when I am driving. I am also much more affected by the bad things that happen to children. As a mother, I feel that I have a special connection to mothers, fathers and children and I really do get very emotional. I have found that turning off the TV and not reading the paper does help. Also, surrounding yourself with positive people and activities may help you see the joy and excitement there is in being a mom and having a child.

It makes me sad to hear that your quality of life has been affected so much by this. I think it is important to know that you are not alone, but it is up to you to decide how you want to handle it. Therapy is a start. Please don't be afraid of the world. It can be a scary place, but there are also a lot of good things too. Redirecting your energy into the good, positive things in the world can only have a direct positive influence on you.

Remember that you are responsible for molding and shaping a little girl who will likely grow up and be a mom herself someday. Projecting your fear may inhibit her growth, and I know that as a mom, you only want the best for your child.

I think all mothers worry about this...it is natural to want your children to grow up in a happy safe environment. Though the truth is the world is not within our control. All we can do is trust God. Whenever those fears creep up you just have to pray for strength and courage and know He is taking care of those little ones. I know easier said than done, but try just to think on todays problems and give the rest to God. That is the only way I know to get through.

I feel the same way sometimes. I think two things contribute to this for me. 1. I am a stay at home mom. I think sometimes that really cuts you off from the world and makes all the bad things that happen seem magnified. 2. I read the newspaper. Honestly, almost everyday I am reading about some "parent" killing or injuring their children. Putting that kind of horrible stuff in my mind is a bad idea. I have a really vivid imagination and it starts to run with thought that others will try to hurt my family. Add to that the fact that most parents would give their lives for thier children and of course you're going to worry. You just have to learn to manage that worry. Good luck.

When you become a mom, you feel like the weight of the world falls upon you and that nobody else could do better than you for your family. It is normal to a point to feel like a mama "bear" protecting your cubs. But, you do have to try not to worry about the things you can't handle (like world issues). I worry every day about my child being abducted from the school bus stop, or while playing out in the yard.... or getting hurt in a car accident when riding with someone else...not excessively, but the worry is still there. I think that is absolutely normal and healthy to have fears and worries....It is part of parenting... my worries in turn lead to me doing what I can to protect them....like watching them while at the bus stop or while in the yard. I can't control car accidents, and I would feel absolutely nuts if something happened, but try to let go and let God.... Our families mean sooo much to us and I think that is why mom's are so protective.

It's also a good thing that you sought out a therapist to talk with.....

Hi D.,

the best advice I can give you is to pray and read your scriptures... if you don't have a relationship with Christ.. work on it... it brings you peace and helps you to understand what is going on is what was prophesied to us... www.lds.org is a good place to start...

please don't be offended...
Good Luck and God Bless you,
S.

Aww my dear, we are in the same boat. But you are strong and smart, and will mold her to be an amazing sweet, caring, smart, strong person. It all starts with you - and you need to draw your strength from that. You need to be strong for her, and teach her so that she can teach others. - and eventually with good parents like you, there will be a change in this world. It all starts with one. :] So smile, relax, and enjoy life...worry does NOTHING. You are like all moms - we all worry way to much about things that are out of our hands. Peace, love, and smiles. K.

Hi D.. My husband worries more than I do, which makes it harder for me at times because I feel like he is questioning my ability to keep our children safe. We live in a safe neighborhood, but he still is always thinking the worst. I do not watch the news or read the paper. There is not a lot of positive information in the media and I try to focus my energy on positive things for myself and my family. I have even stopped spending time with friends and family that are negative, it really brings me down. As a mom, your natural instinct is to keep your family safe. We just have to realize that we are not perfect and we, unfortunately, cannot control all the negative things going on in the world.

I became a mom at the age of 18 and not with just a single birth but with 2. It is hard and scary to bring any child up in the world today. But you know what. You do your best in bringing them up and just hope for the best. Be strong and your children will full that. You show fear and they will be feared. Take one day at a time.

I do the exact same thing you do. I think that it is normal, the one thing I think I am really good at is stressing out. But at some point you have to let go, not to say the world we live in is perfect but try getting out with your friends for a drink or something. Hang out without your family for a little while to remember what it is like. I think that we will always stress like that, we're parents. Don't be afraid to leave your house, or take your child out to play. Just always be mindful of what is around you but don't stop living life because you are afraid of what might happen.

I have this same problem.

I started seeing a counselor through Family Services.

We talked through my feelings and after a few sessions, I was proscribed Effexor XR which is good at treating both depression and anxiety. Its not the miracle cure, but talking through your feelings is a good way to develop healthy coping skills.

Good luck, let me know how it ends up.

I like to think of my new motherly response to world news(especially child suffering)as a good thing COMPASSION. "Justice will only be achieved when those who are not injured by crime feel as indignant as those who are" King Solomon 970-928BC You need to realize being more sensitive isn't bad. You have evolved.

Now, what to do about it? I only know what worked for me. We had a lot of medical issues with my girls that made me feel fragile and feel my family was fragile. So I grew my hair long and had my 6yrs old cut it off and we donated it to kids with cancer for a wig. It doesn't protect my kids but it's a way to feel I'm doing something. What specifically feels unsafe? Take a self defense class, get an alarm system. So much can go wrong, but so much can go right. I found help from my 92yr old grandmother. Her generation has such a better perspective. Life is hard and there will be tragedy so enjoy and celebrate the good and take it as a gift. The stuff she went through puts my very real troubles in perspective as a part of life not a tragedy that cannot be overcome.

After researching my daughters preschool, interviewing the teacher, asking other parents I called the govt agency and asked if any complaints had ever been filed against the school. They said no. I have showed up 2X prior to the end of school and walked in to get her early and with that I send my daughter knowing I've done everything I could and that I can sleep at night.

D. - This happened to me as well and 6-1/2 years later, I am still overly cautious. My son was only 4 months old on Sept 11,2001. My world came to a stand still. I stopped going to the mall or any big public places, and when I had to, I went alone and made extensive escape plans always knowing where fire exits and back hallway exits were. I still close my garage door after turning off the car, before I unlock my doors and get the kids out. I never drive on 95...I'll go the longer, back ways instead...in fear of being in an accident on the highway. I do not go out at night unless my husband is with me, even locally. I stick close to home and it comforts me. I have not gone crazy, but I am happy with this modified life plan. My husband thinks I am a little too cautious and so does my mom, but why chance it? I considered home schooling but decided I had ot let go a little. I just pray for the safety of my family. Get the book talked about on Oprah called The Gift of Fear. It is important to follow your gut instinct and when it comes to motherhood that's really all you have to go on....that, common sense and faith!
Good luck.

A little bit about me:
I am a SAHM with a 6-1/2 yr old boy and 3-1/2 yr old girl. I am blessed with a beautiful home, hardworking and loving husband who is a great dad, and 2 amazing kids.

I think about this all the time. I have an 8yo and a 4yo and I worry about them all the time. I don't live in the best neighborhood and I am afraid to let my 8yo play outside by himself. I have 6 registered sex offenders in my neighborhood and it scares the daylights out of me. I think its totally normal to worry about our kids.

I agree that all of our worries intensify as we become mothers and fathers, but I can't imagine it was any different for our parents, yet, somehow they managed. I think you have to start focusing on the joy each day brings you with your loved ones versus worrying about all the "what if.." situations. I am by no means oblivious to the negative times our children are exposed to, but every time my son laughs or finds joy out of putting rocks in a metal trashcan just to hear the sound of them falling against the tin, I'm reminded to just take one moment and one day at a time. Good luck to you :-)

That is what make a good mother it show that you really care.

HI D.. When I got pregnant with my oldest I suddenly realized how vunerable I was. I was no longer the invincablae teen or twenty-something I had been. Someone was more important to me. I even quit going to the Mall by myself because I was afraid. Then I realized that if you read all the news articules, listen to all the news reports you will be afraid because all the papers and news programs want to do is sell themselves to you. They survive off our fear! I choose not to live my life afraid of "them". If I do, they win and I loose. So quit getting and reading the paper...all they are good for anymore is linning the cat box or bird cage anyway! Only watch the news once a day...and only pay attention to the weather report and special events. It's time to see the good things going on around you...you don't want your daughter to live in fear, so you can't! You set the tone in your home, make it a hopefull, positive one! :-) Best wishes.

Hi D.,
My name is S. and have two great children, 3yr old and 1yr old.
Married for 5 wonderful years in June.
Its so weird to me how the more I talk about your same issue with others, its not so uncommon!
I felt like you while I was pregnant with my 1st child and it got worse once she was born. Since welcoming our 2nd child into our family, its double the anxiety!
I have thought about a therapist but never followed through, does it help at all?
besides worrying about the world we live in, I worry about my health/life because I am afraid of my babies not having me around! I know it sounds wacky!! I catch myself saying "snap out of it already" but its always in the back of my head. Sorry I don't have any advice for you, just wanted to say, I'm right there with you on this! Ya know we just love our children so much that we want to protect them from it all. I don't think there is anything wrong with that.