Exercise - Conneaut,OH

Depnding on how overweight your husband really is walking may be very uncomfortable for him or he may prefer to walk in silence instead of having conversation and walking at the same time.

Honestly he is a grown man and mothering him or treating him like one of the kids is never going to work on him. If he likes golfing, there is a certain amount of exercise that comes with that. Let him do that one his own and you do your thing on your own. It isn't the end of the world.

Try to find some other activity you guys can do as a family. It may take some thinking outside of the usual box. If he is competitive perhaps something that will ignite his competitive nature will be helpful.

When in the pool encourage the kids to engage their father by you actually spending more time outside of the pool away from them all. This may not be exactly what you had in mind but it may get him more involved. Perhaps borrowing a bike and going biking may be more up his alley.

Try different things and see what sparks interest in him. If nothing works then it may be time for him to see a physician because perhaps his testosterone levels are lower than they should be which may be the root cause of his more sedentary nature. I hope this helps and encourages.

Don't let your exercise time depend on him. I have a girlfriend who lives around the corner and we call each other and meet to walk just about every night after dinner. It gives me someone to talk to about issues both good and bad and we equally share! Our husbands are also friends, so we spend time together outside of our walks as well. Some nights my husband will say oh you are going walking? He wants to go, so I tell him, let me walk with Debbie and then we can walk.....double exercise for me, but I don't mind and I get him to go walking with me!! Sometimes when Debbie is not home, he will offer to walk in her place. Another option is to take one of your children, great one on one time! Good luck!! Just remember you can't change him!!

Trying to get my husband to walk with me is like pulling teeth. His whole thing is "I need a destination if I am going to walk some where." So I pull the "We have a child" card and how he needs to spend more time with us card and he eventually gives in but when he does walk it's barely half a mile.

My husband has developed a gut. He's also been unemployed since November so he sits on his butt a lot. Hopefully that will all change here soon and he'll get a job.

My thought, instead of you asking him to do something how about the kids asking him. If the kids ask to go for a walk or something will he do it for them?

Is there any other activity that you guys could do together or even as a family?

And lastly at the Y. Stop taking it all. Stand up and put your foot down. He's not going to change until he realizes that you need help.

my husband won't do walks with me because he says walking is boring. When, I go for walks its usually at the parks on one of the nature trails. EVery once in awhile he will come along. we have taken up Disc Golf this year and do it as a family. This way its walking but at the same time gives you something to do. My husband doesn't spend a lot of time with us and I don't ask him to either. I usually don't do any of his activities so he gets some time by himself. You go with the kids and have some fun then maybe he'll join in. Let him golf by himself so its his alone time away from the fam.

it sounds to me like you are feeling sorry for yourself because your hubby doesn't want to do what you want to do. that is a dream you probably will have to give up, as someone said. not all couples have the same interests and have this blissful perfect "together all the time" marriage. it's okay to have separate interests.

what bothers me more is he seems to be distancing himself from you and the kids. in the pool, even my son when my husband and son were the most distanced, would be all over my husband. rough-housing and being silly in the pool is totally a dad's sphere. it says a lot that the kids don't even want anything to do with him there.

quit worrying about his physicality and his activity, that is his body and you loved/married him, accept him. work on ways to get him involved, regardless of whether it's physical or not. leave the kids with him more. it sounds to me like he needs to discover the joys of fatherhood...to me it sounds like he's just an observer. just my two cents...good luck!

I hate biking. I cannot run (tears up my torn up knees), although I do from time to time. The gym is the most boring thing on the planet to be.

Guess what my exhusband looooooved? Biking, running, gym.

Ugh. Icky. Noooo Thankyou!

I DO love: swimming, sailing, snowboarding, shooting, horseback riding, and a few other things.

My ex didn't. Or to be more accurate, he sucked the fun out of the few he did do. He charged ahead in hiking, while I can go 25 miles at a SLOWER pace... And need to stop to take pictures. Swimming he wanted to do laps, I like ocean swimming/body surfing. Etc.

Now, none of this would have been a problem in our marriage EXCEPT he demanded I do things his way, and took it personally if I didn't. He also tried to guilt trip me (saying or implying I was lazy), for not leaping to do things I hated. Didn't matter if I'd spent 30 hours being active that week, if I wasn't doing it with him, in the way he liked, I was lazy and didn't like him.

Ugh.

People like different things

He'd also get ticked that I would SOMETIMES do these things.I'm willing to do stuff I don't like as a novelty, but not on a regular basis.

Not saying you do this. Just something to consider.

Re: Exercise. You can't make him do it. You'll have to be the cheerful good example for your kids. At the party...take off your straps and go! Pool...let the kids climb on him while you do a few laps! Offer to take turns.

Re: Weight issues. Food is involved big time. He won't lose much weight taking a stroll around the block anyway. If he decides he wants to lose weight he'll probably have some eating adjustments to make. That will likely
be more difficult than becoming more active.

Re: Body image, yours and his. Don't discuss around kids.

My advice is to accept what you can't change for now. Be a great role model for your kids. I know my husband hates me to nag him about things and it decreases the chance he'll do them.

Good luck!

Describing your husband sounds to me how my husband would describe me, although I have been getting better, since I have been home. When I was working I was on my feet all day and was exhausted when I got home(plus I have an illness that totally gets me fatigued), is he on his feet all day? Well unfortuanately you cant force him. I am sorry that he wont even go for a walk with you, that's sad. I am sure you are good company so dont come down on yourself. I guess all you can do at this point is to worry about you and your kiddos. Keep going for your walks and bike rides, hopefully soon he will see what he is missing out on and join you! GOOD LUCK!

for me church and excercise/healthy living are very similar. both take committment, time, energy, you have to be willing to give things up, once you are in the groove you look forward to it, but if you miss a couple of sessions, it's very difficult to get going again.

That being said I'll tell you a story. I wanted my husband to go to church with me. I tried everything I could. I tried to appoint him "spiritual head of household" and asked him to pick the church, he didnt. I tried to search until I found a church he liked. He didnt like any of them. I tried, guilt, begging, pressure nothing worked. He would only go on my birthday and Mothers Day. He didn't want to give anything up. Not his time, not his vices. So, I gave up. I found a church I liked and stopped asking. I went and took the kids and didn't say a word about it to him. Eventually, he saw how much fun we were having and saw the growth I was experiencing and the joy we were getting out of it and decided he didn't want to miss out on all that. He started going voluntarily and really got involved. I stopped trying to drag him along and he stopped digging inhis heels and being stubborn. When he went on his own, he got alot more out of it and really loved it.

The same thing happened with us and excercising. We have a membership to the Y. He used to go and take the kids and I just saw that as 2 hours of quiet time where I could clean house, fix dinner, check my email. I was overweight and didn't want to give anything up. Not my time, not my chips and salsa, nothing. But, I saw him and the kids going and having so much fun and I saw the results in him. He was getting buff and really hot! I didn't want to be left behind, so i got my butt up and started going and really enjoying it. He never said a word, never made me feel guilty, he would just ask me if I wanted to go and if I said no, he was perfectly nice about it and when finally one day I said yes, he didnt make a big deal out of it. We just went and had a great time together. I was embarassed and felt insecure, but he didnt call any attention to that by making it a big deal.

Moral to the story - you do you. Do what you like. Speak up about him taking more of the work load with the kids, but about excercising, just go. Go for a walk. Enjoy your alone time. Leave him with the kids. He will get on board eventually. And if he doesn't, that's ok too!