Expecting in February, Seeking advice..again...

My son was breech with the cord around his neck so I had to have a C-Section. Please do not worry about this, my recovery was great & it was very relaxing knowing what to expect. I was able to schedule it, so I woke up that morning, calmly got the house & myself ready for his birth. It was nice to be able to calmly walk into the hospital & relax & wait for the C-Section. You also get a few extra days in the hospital for recovery which gives you some time to adjust to being a mother. You will be ok, just try to relax, stress is the worst thing for you right now.

Don't worry about the C-section. Mine was great. I had an emergency c-section and it was done and over with, and no pushing needed. The worst part is the needle used to numb the area before they do the spinal. But its a quick thing and its over with in no time. Its a piece of cake. You'll do just fine. :)

Hi there
I just wanted to say to you how strong and courageous I think you are, being honest about your issues and trying to deal with them at what is a huge transition time in your life. You are obviously seeking out all the help you can to try to deal with things, and this plus doing the best you can means you should try not to worry too much. Lots of babies are small - my daughter was said to be too small throughout my pregnancy and I had to have lots of growth scans, but in the end she was perfectly healthy though only 5 lb 9oz at full term (my first was over 2 lb heavier than that!)
Try to work on eating healthily and a wide variety of nutritious foods rather than focussing on weight gain and size - think of each good thing you eat as being the building blocks of a healthy baby.
Very best wishes

Hi Lacey. I have a couple friends with eating disorders and one of them has and I think always will battle with it and she is almost 32. I have done a lot of reaserch on it it and been to family meetings with her when she was in out patient treatment. I also have a 10 month old and had a c-section. It is not as bad as you think. I was very scared had never even had a cavity before let alone a surgery. Any questions you have or want to talk to someone just email me. ____@____.com ----M.

Bradley Classes ROCKED!!! I certainly recommend it! You feel empowered and you feel like a stronger woman! You are more educated about what your body can do for you.
Honestly!!!

I was freaked out about giving birth...but Bradley classes were SO informative. I felt in control of myself and all...I highly recommend it!

It's so nice that you're having a girl! Try to think about HER perspective - you don't want her to grow up with an eating disorder...you're growing a baby!! You need to think about her and you want her to grow strong!

Take a yoga class, pamper yourself, make yourself feel good!
I have not struggled with a disorder so I do not know where you're coming from, but you are responsible for another life - be sure to think about your beautiful baby!! Do what YOU need to do to take care of yourself...
You WILL lose the weight after having the baby - worry about that later...focus on the NOW!
Take good care...
A.

had a section 9 years ago, i had a problem with the fact that i had to have it.
my one piece of advice is that the day after, get a suppository, it'll get rid of all the gas build up from when they opened you up.
you'll feel like a new person

Have you considered midwifery care instead of seeing an OB? It may be interesting to consult with one to get her take on things. Generally you can develop more of a relationship with your midwife and she will be with you during your labor more than an OB, who gives instructions to nurses over the phone and then comes to the hospital at the time of delivery. It is so so sooooo important to have support there along for you and for your boyfriend as well, either a doula or midwife.

Your midwife may be able to help you with the emotional aspects of being pregnant and how that changes your body.

I used to be a dancer before I had a baby and my midwife and I talked a lot about how I felt about my changing body. It helped me a great deal.

I also want to say that you will still have back up care with an OB if you need one and you can still get an epidural with a midwife if you are in the hospital so don't think that you HAVE to go natural if you are with a midwife. They are highly trained in normal birth and mother the mother a bit more than your average doctor. If you don't have a mother figure in your life you may want to consider it.

Best of luck,

S.

Dear Lacey,

You sound like a wonderful person!

Just so you know, ALL human beings have addictions, faults, and weaknesses....some physical, some mental or social or whatever. They not only affect us, but those around us. Have you ever gone to a support group for addictions? I personally am in one right now and it is AMAZING the things you realize about yourself as you go through the process of recovery!!! What I'm saying is, you MUST concentrate on recovery for yourself so that you can be a good mother to your baby. I know,Iknow...it sounds cliche, and it is easier said than done, but it really is true.

As far as your physical condition and your growing baby....remember the baby will suck everything it needs from YOUR body! That is also why it's essential to take care of YOU!:) All the multivitamins and extra calories that you're supposed to consume during pregnancy are not for the baby...they are for YOU...to replenish what the baby will automatically "consume" from you.

When YOU take care of YOU physically, emotionally, psychologically FIRST, you & those around you will benefit soooo much more than if the order is reversed....including a baby still growing in the womb.:)

Keep seeking advice!...you are doing a good thing by talking and sharing your feelings...we'll all be here for support!

Dear Lacey,

I totally agree with the other women: Take this one day at a time. There is no sense in worrying about tomorrow. You are being very courageous and strong for your little girl. Keep up the good work!

Please don't worry about the delivery. Your doctor has absolutely NO right to concern you with that at this point. There is a huge mind-body link with labor and delivery. Frequently, what we believe will happen, happens. If your Dr. plants it in your mind that you may need a c- section, you will start to belive it, and it may happen just beause of that! It is ridiculous for him to look at your hips and say you cannot deliver normally. Noone can know that until a woman has tried. Hormones loosen the ligaments of your pelvis during birth, and your babies head is made to change shape as it comes out to conform to the birth canal. Read this blog and watch this video to see multiple women who have had normal deliveries of very large babies after they were "diagnosed" with cephalopelvic disproportion- CPD (baby's head is too big for the pelvis).

http://birthingwithguinever.com/2007/11/17/these-women-sh...

Relax, our bodies were made for this. Focus on strengthening your body, and you will be just fine.

Best wishes and prayers to you and your little girl (and your fiancee too!)
~S.

Lacey,
My heart and prayers go out to you. You are not alone, you have your boyfriend and all of us! Try to focus on eating well to keep your baby healthy. The baby is getting most of the food and she needs it! You can focus on your own issues later, but remember, you are beautiful just as you are! I dont know you, but that doesnt matter, you are a sister and you are beautiful.

I had a c-section and it was just fine! It took about 2 weeks to heal and it wasnt so bad at all. Dont worry, this is pretty routine surgery these days. You and the baby will be just fine! Best of luck, go shopping for some cute girl clothes and have a milkshake!

Lacey........ you sound like a very strong young lady so I will say that a C section will be no problem, I have had 2. I always say it is mind over matter. If you think it is going to be bad it will be .... if you make friends with the c-section then you will have the drive to recover as fast as you can. I hope this is not the road you have to take but if you do remember that no one will be able to make you get up and walk and feel better that is up to you.

As for the food...... there are a ton of great foods out there that are good for you. Your body is going to change and it is going to hold on to fat and you body needs that ... I hope you are going to breast feed!!! You are the world to that little girl you have inside. This is the time to make up for not having a mom figure by giving it all you have to make sure your little girl never feels that way and I know you can do it. Being 20 is a tough age and having a baby is hard but when you have the facts you know better how to deal with your situation. I really do hope for the best for you and your family!!!!

Lacey,

My heart and prayers go out to you and your new precious life!! I hope you take it easy and enjoy this pregancy, but I do know about the stress and fears and its not so easy to do. I'm not sure if you have a regular OB-GYN, but if not, please get one. If the doctor hasn't already prescribe a Pre-natal vitamin, go back and ask. As you are battling with your "demons", realize that your child is doing the same - and as hard as it maybe - just keep battling. You have already taking steps in the right direction by talking about it and realizing the problem. See if you can talk to someone about it a Counselor/Dr., etc.

As far as C-Section - they of course are no fun!!! But if the doctor feels its an option to consider, then I would do whats best for you and your baby. I have 3 children - My 1st and 3rd child were both born vaginally, however my 2nd was an Emergency C-section (which in itself, because of the emergency situation brought on infections - not that this happens to every woman - just something you should know)and my 2nd child and I turned out fine. There is a longer healing processes than with a vaginal birth - and you might feel a lack of "experience" in giving birth - but C-sections are not as "aweful" as one might think. I would suggest getting a second opinion and reading up on C-sections and the relationship between that and eating disorders - WEBMED is a good website to start with. I hope this help and didn't just scare you. Knowing what you need to do is half the battle.

My prayers are with you and keep in touch on your Progress! My Blessings and good wishes!

For my c-section, everything went smoothly. I had some complications AFTER the c-section due to some bleeding issues I personally had but things went a lot smoother than I thought they would. Lacy, if there is one time that you can eat GUILT FREE, it would be now AND your baby will benefit from it! It is a win win situation. If you believe you will lose the weight afterwards, you will. I gained 60 lbs with my son and have lost it all and then some. It is that simple. For now, enjoy feeding your baby and helping her grow healthily (is that a word?):) This will also help you avoid any problems with her once she is outside of you. Try your best to forget about your weight and allow yourself to be set free and eat until your heart is content. All will be ok. Enjoy the pregnancy as much as you can ok? This is not about you and the image you want for your body right now, it is about her and what she needs to grow. This is your most important step as a mom. To make sure your child is healthy and thrives. I have faith that you will do what it takes because I know you, like most moms, love your baby more than yourself. Much love and hugs to you,,, Keep us posted ok? N.

Congratulations on your coming girl!!! I have 2 girls and no boys so I might be biased but girls are fun. Just getting them dressed is fun in all the cute outfits!!!

Anyway also congratulations on admitting your eating disorder. When you admit there is a problem then you can take steps to correct the problem. Eat healthy. take your prenatal vitamins and keep going to your OB. Also you may want to consider getting a counselor to help you emotionally. Having a baby with support is huge but having one without support is gigantic. You need a support person, group, something. This sight can be a huge help but nothing beats "face" time.

God Bless!!! A.

Dear Lacey,
I am so happy to hear you are taking better care of yourself! That's wonderful! You and your baby deserve only the best health and happiness. Just wanted to let you know about a breast feeding support group (if you're interested in learning more about the wonderful world of breastfeeding!) The group meets every other week at Bellevue Women's Hospital on Tuesdays. Just give the hospital a call for more info. I am mentioning this because they are a very caring and supportive group of women and I have made a lot of wonderful friends through there. And, the nurses/lactation consultants that run the group are very caring and helpful also. Good luck with everything. And CONGRATULATIONS on your little girl! Girls are great! I have TWO!!!
S.

You go girl! I am so happy to see you reaching out and being honest with yourself AND you went to the clinic- good girl! Did they give you any food ideas that you could try? Do you eat spinach? At least I know it has iron and I think protein both good for you and baby. You can look on-lineto find out what fruits/veggies have the best nutrients.

Don't be scared Lacey, everything will be fine, you should think positive, don't lose the faith, let your self been relax and think that your baby is fine and healthy, the Bible give a lot of support in moments of desperation, I'm Catholic and my faith increase cause in moments that I felt terrible scare and get lost that I can not tell you, I just prayed and put my suffers at the feet of Jesus, told him that it was too much for me and couldn't carry them any more... asked him to do a miracle and he did it! the faith move mountains and it's truth! my advice is pray and ask him to send you his blessings, he will!!!
I will also pray for you and your baby!!! every thing will be fine!!!! God bless you!!!

Hi Lacey, I responded to you before and my heart goes out to you. You have a lot going on and much to be thankful for. As with any situation, take it one day at a time. Do your best. Eat as healthy as possible. Try not to stress out over this. I believe you can help your eating disorder for the sake of your baby. I hope you have a doctor that you trust and that Jason is by your side through this. Also, do not worry in advance about a C-section that you may not have to have. No delivery is painless but it is compensated by the birth of your child. My best wishes from an online Mom, Grandma Mary

Lacey, I have 2 children both delivered by C-section. I was asleep for my daughter (now 20) and awake for my son(now 16) I promise, it is not as bad as it sounds, it is no different than any other surgery except you'll have something to show for it at the end....a beautiful baby girl! You will feel discomfort and maybe alittle pain while you're incision is healing.....but you can have discomfort and pain with natural birth as well. Try not to over think anything, and just be sure to relay all of you concerns and fears to your doctor.

As for the eating disorder, i do not know what type of disorder you are suffering from but just remember that you do not have to eat alot....but you do have to eat healthy....if you have a problem sitting down to 3 big meals, make it 5 smaller ones and try to get the recommended requirements of fruits, vegies, protiens and dairy. And take those pre-natal vitamins!

Good luck and congratulations! And remember....we are all here for you!
L.

Hi Lacey,
My name is A. Craig and I am a licensed health care professional specializing in therapeutic bodywork and nutritional counseling (see my ad here on Mamasource). You are very brave and smart to be open about what you are dealing with and to reach out to this community! Give yourself a big hug for that!

My advice is that you MUST take in some supplemental nutrition at this time for the health of your child and yourself, of course. Certain nutrients must be available to a growing fetus for her to develop into a healthy child. You need nutrition so that you are happy and strong to bear the rigors of motherhood. :-)) If you go to my web page, you can order drinkable Pre-Natal vitamins(under"Women's Health") making them very easy (and yummy) to consume, digest and absorb. These vitamins have been formulated specifically with the needs of the mother and developing child in mind. You also need to be taking Omega III
Fatty Acids which are imperative for the proper development of your child's nervous system. Our Omega III Fish oil supplements have been tested 3 times for purity (fish oil can contain mercury). You can find these under "Heart Health." I offer a free nutritional counseling session to Mamasource members, so please feel free to give me a call. I can be reached at ###-###-####. I hope this helps!

Sincerely,
A. Craig, L.M.T.

Hi Lacey,

Focus on the eating habits and take your vitamins you may have a normal birth. You have to take care of yourself for your baby's sake. It's not only you now, but you have a little life that you are responsible for.

I have had 3 c-sections, please do not be afraid. Yes it is surgery, and afterwards you will have to take it easy so your body can heal, your finace will have to chip a little more with the baby, but you will be ok.

All the best.

Lacey,

Even though a c-section is considered major surgery, please don't worry...I had one 4 years ago to deliver my twin girls and had no problems. My incision was very low and healed quickly. My staples were removed before I left the hospital on day 5. I tried to do the stairs in my house as little as possible at first and no heavy lifting...but other than that it was life as usual! I was able to pick up both of my babies with no trouble and care for them on my own once my husband went back to work. C-Sections are very common these days and usually very successful!! At this point, try to concentrate more on the present...take care of you...take care of your little girl...help her grow and develop as best you can. Be strong...you can do it!!!!

Lacey,

First congratulations! IF you have a doctor is working very close with you then you and your baby should be fine. Ask the dr. what you need to do to help the baby gain more weight. There have also been times, when the due date is wrong, and in that case the baby might be right on track, if you are due a bit later then they are saying!

I have 2 children, and daughter and a son. My daughter was born by a horrible vaginal birth. The pain was murderous and she had a horrible time in the birth canal. my rocery was long, slow and painful! OF course whe was worth it all

My son was born two years later c-section! The only way i would have children in the future would be c-section. My body responded much better. I healed faster and less pain! You will some help for about a week you muscles in your stomach will not be working, so plan on having your boyfriedn help. Your body will heal and then you will be able to enjoy your beautiful daughter!

Congratulations on your little girl. I had 3 sections. The first was an emergency the other two scheduled. It is nice you get to go to the hospital all happy and dressed I made sure I shaved my legs!!! you won't be able to do that for a bit afterward until your staples come out. You'll go in get your epidural and once it's working it takes about 15 minutes to deliver. I was up and walking a few hours after the births of my boys( the scheduled c-sections) and the healing time wasn't too bad. You will need help with household chores like pushing the vacuum and lifting the laundry. You also won't be able to drive while you have your staples in so call for reinforcements! Good luck and keep on eating for two!!!

You cannot push yourself like crazy to do everything the way people may be telling you. I was bulemic for a very long time in my life and fortunately that was behind me prior to becoming pregnant, but I'm sure that if you are honest with all that are involved in your treatment that the necessary precautions will be taken. In some ways someone telling you that right now you need to stop this, it would be like them putting 10 lbs of food in front of you and making you eat every bite. One thing that I learned through a 12 Step group I would go to was that I have to be a little more alert in my choices to see who is directly involved, but that has to be something I'm willing to do. Keep your chin up and do the best that you can. If you ever need anyone, I'm here.

Hi Lacey,
I think that your focus now needs to be on getting healthy. I would ask your doctor for a referral to a counselor or someone to help you with the eating disorder. It's an illness like anything else and should be treated by a medical professional. I would also suggest seeing a nutritionist. The focus needs to be your health (and therefore your baby's health). I wouldn't get caught up on whether you might or might not be able to deliver vaginally. You really can't know that right now. Good luck and I hope that the rest of your pregnancy will be smooth and healthy.

Dear Lacey,
It takes a lot of courage to battle an eating disorder and my only advice is to think of your daughter and pull your strength from her. You will be a great Mom and you need to be healthy to do that.

I had an unplanned c section and everything was fine. You will be a little sore but that won't last for more than a few weeks.

Best of luck to you and your family. Congrats on your engagement and remember that you are not alone!

S.

Could you ask an MD in the clinic for a sample of how much you should be eating? This might reassure you so you feel comfortable with eating more. I promise you that at your age you will lose your baby weight very easily. Pregnant bellies really are beautiful!
Don't worry too much about a section yet, there are so many things that can happen along the way to change that...it never goes as we plan! I didn't have one, but many of my friends did and all said they recovered easily and that it really wasn't bad.
Good Luck!

Lacey,
First of all, you're still fairly early in your pregnancy, and therefore I wouldn't worry about not being able to deliver vaginally just yet. You still have a lot of time to "right your path". I don't have an eating disorder (much to the contrary!!) so I can't speak from experience here, but try to get some counceling for it and try to wrap your brain around being as healthy a whole person as you can be, if not for yourself (just yet) than for your little girl. She needs a certain amount of vitamis, minerals, protiens and carbs to grow and develop normally. I guess if you can just put blinders on your eyes and stay focused on that goal all will be well and after the birth you can really attack the demons of that eating disorder. Again, I don't really know the protocol of this type of thing, but just keep your eye on the prize, being the most healthy baby which is a direct result of the most healthy mom. Feel free to excercise, with the goal being to become stronger, not thinner. Nothing wrong with that! Get into a group for thereapy or alone, whichever appeals to you more. But continue to reach out for help (like this forum) and know that your heart is in the right place, your a good mother already, and it will all be fine!
Good luck and God Bless YOU!!
M. from Pittsford

The best advice I can give you is to find some private childbirth classes. I'm a Bradley instructor myself, so I have a personal bias in that direction. Always remember that BIRTH WORKS! Eating as healthy as you possibly can is the best way to ensure a healthy labor, birth and baby. Don't even think about a c-section. Believe in your Goddess-given ability to give birth. I have a 23 y/o daughter who had eating disorders in the past. She's planning a home birth. Don't let your fears rule you!

c-section is not bad dont have to go thru all the labor dont feel a thing until the next day when they want you to get out of bed....but the best thing about a c section is that your daughter will have the perfectly shaped head =) you get two extra weeks out of work too!

Are you getting counseling for your disorder? There are many causes for eating disorders and I think you should get to the root of it instead of trying to fight it all alone.I'm sure there are free help groups near you if money is an issue.

Lacey, the most important thing to do is to stop worrying...or at least keep it to a minimum. As long as you follow your doctor's instructions about what to eat your baby will be fine. Nature has a way of taking care of these things. As far as c-sections go I don't think that the doctor should have scared you with that at this stage of the pregnancy since things can change later on and you may be able to deliver naturally. if you do need a c-section just know that it really isn't that bad. I've had one c-section and the hardest part of it was the post surgery recovery because it was hard to walk and sneezing or coughing were scary and painful. But it was over within about 2 weeks and seeing my baby healthy helped me to recover faster. Just focus on your baby girl and God will take care of the rest.

good luck.

T. (mother of one and expecting a girl, due Dec.)

Lacey,

With an eating disorder, the best 'advice' I can think of is this: Because you are focusing on the two of you instead of just your baby - you have to heal too! - you need to keep track of what you are doing. You are bound to have good days and bad days, but you need to make sure you have certain things in each meal, for you and your daughter.

My recommendation would be to keep track of what you are consuming - IF IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRAZY - and make sure your list 'tallies' (no I'm not talking counting calories, that could take all day) with what you and the baby need.

For example: You have 2 eggs, 2 toast, 8oz juice (enjoy it now! :) 8oz water or milk, cereal for breakfast. Is this enough?

cereal/protein/dairy/all the food groups (and don't think the doc will let you skip fat altogether - that's what ice cream is for! :)

if you get off track, you will SEE it on paper, and be able to correct in the same day, instead of wondering all week or until the next appt.

C-section is not horrible. It is different from what most Mom's expect but despite what you may think about, it does have at least one advantage: your baby's head will come out perfect. :) So if you are able to go natural fine, but if not, you have a little compensation there, too. Some women actually opt for c-sect over natural because they are afraid of the prolonged pain, not because they are not able.

Nuke your caffeine consumption, and increase as you can for your baby. She may come up while you wait. :)

Nuke your stress too, as much as you can. That burns calories, too, and isn't good for the little one.

I wish you luck getting to where you need to be, you will do just fine if you take it one meal and one day at a time.

M.

Hi Lacey,
So glad that you're aware of and dealing with your issues. Congratulations on that, and on the sweet life that you're bringing into the world.
I can't comment on c-sections, but just thought that I'd offer this bit of advice: get thee to a yoga class. Do prenatal for now, but then continue with gentle yoga after the baby is born. It can be deeply healing, and a great way to get in touch with yourself and your fears. It is a loving environment in which to open your body and heart.
Please email me if you have any questions, I happen to be a yoga teacher, just not teaching right now. But I'm happy to point you in a direction.
peace,
E..

Lacey, I know these are trying times, but as the girls mentioned before, just take one day at a time. Try to just focus on being as healthy as you can for both you and your baby. We all bounce back after pregnancy at some point, especially when you are very young. One thing I learned from motherhood is that the baby comes before you and everything else. You need to take care of yourself so that your baby can have her mommy around for a very long time. :) And don't worry about the c-section. My best friend had one, it was quick and she was out of the hospital before we knew it. The doctors do hundreds of them every month and they know how to take care of you. Also, did you ever think of trying any yoga mama dvd's? They help you relieve stress and stay focused and maintain good health for you and your baby.

Hi Lacey,

You might try going to a nutritionist or naturopath. Get a recomondation. Take Alison up on her offer below. I went to a great one in Westchester. I don't know how your disorder manifest itself but they might be able to help further with diet and getting the nutrition you and your baby need. Durring my pregnancy i used some great super foods that you drink like Greens 8000. Here is a link:

http://www.nokomisnutrition.com/

Congrats, good luck and God bless,
G.

Hi Lacey,
I really have no room to say anything to you about your problem with an eating disorder because I have had no experience with that myself. All I do know is that you must feel scared. I can't imagine what you're going through. I hope that you can get a handle on it soon so that your daughter has the best possible chance of being born healthy.

Have you tried looking online for a support group or info for pregnant women with eating disorders? It is very important that you get all the support you need right now, especially since you said you have no mother figure in your life.

I can tell you about c-sections. I have had two of them. It is not as scary as it sounds or as some ppl would have you beleive. Everyone likes to tell horror stories about their birthing process whether it be vaginal or c-section. Obviously, recovery time is longer. But really, you are so focused on your new baby that you dont even realize your own discomfort. Within a few days I felt fine. About 10 days after I had my twins, I was taking them for small walks around my block. I'm not gonna lie, the pain is not fun the first two days after it, but they will give you good pain killers in the hospital to help you through it. Just know that it will soon pass - the pain - and that it is all sooooooo worth it.
Hopefully, your fiance is helpful and can help out a lot in the beginning when you are recovering.
I will be sending good thoughts your way Lacey. I believe you will get through this and do your best to ensure both yours and your baby's health. Best wishes.
Sincerely,
K. G.

Hello Lacey:

Congratulations!!!! It's a girl. You are going to be just fine. It is always scary at the begining due to not knowing what to expect. Each month your anxiety increases as you get closer to the due date. I am a mother of two. For my first child which is a girl I gave birth to her naturally but believe me it is no fun and games. I will not sugarcoated as it was done to me. It was painful plus I didn't opt for the epidural until the last moment and it was not put on correctly so because I was also induced the pain was more severe. But everyone is different but I am being honest by saying giving birth is really hard work. My daughter is going to be two next month, it was a relief when she finally came out. Then after a while you do forget especially when you are able to bond with your child. It is an amazing moment to have. It is the most undecribable moment that I believe only mothers can relate. I just recently had another baby this time to a boy. I was nervous at the beginning but a little bit better and had less anxiety. Since I had more or less of an idea of what was happening. But again it was sooo different. I ended up pushing until I reached 10 centimeters and this time I did opt for the epidural and it was wonderful since again I was induced due to only still be 3 centimeters. So needless to say by the time I had reached the 10 and still pushing the epidural wore off and my doctor decided that it was enough of me pushing (thank God) LOL I couldn't bare the pain and she decided that she was going do a c-section on me. Had I known how quickly the process is I would've done it a long time ago and I didn't have to bother with pushing etc. But I must say that the recovering process is not easy at all. It is very painful but each day it does get better and everyone recovers differently, some recover quickly and some don't. Plus they do give pain medication which helps alot. I do recommend that you have someone to help you for the first two weeks while your at home. I did notice that you wrote you really don't have much family. But what about your fiance's family? Are you close with them? Maybe someone in his family would be willing to help you. It was even harder for me because I had 15 month old who needed her mommy still. In your case is different. If you have more questions don't hesitate to ask. Believe me I know what you are feeling and you are going to be fine. Try drinking some smoothies to help your baby inside grow. My favorite was always the blueberry. Plus blueberry helps feed the brain and its a fiber that helps you be regulated. Since its a drink maybe your body or mind will probably not look at it as food. I will be seriously praying for you and those personal demons. I'm not sure if you are religious but cling on to God for help and guidance, he won't abandone you. Read Luke chapter 10 verse 19 everyday. Keep me updated. I will definitely stay in touch. Have a wonderful blessed day.

JR

Hi Lacey,
First, congratulations on your expecting and engagement. This should be a time to enjoy your upcoming motherhood. I cannot imagine how you feel, but I can tell you a little about c-sections. My first baby was an emergency c-section, I didn't dilate past 5 cm and his heart rate was going up and down too erratically. That to me was a shock but took the decision to go ahead and deliver a healthy baby boy. The recovery on the first one was tough, as I had been focusing on a natural delivery. It took two days before getting out of bed in the hospital and walk around, as the nurses were suggesting to do - it helps you get back in shape faster that quicker if you get out of bed. Naturally, nursing was a bit of a problem having pain all over. Then the second child was a planned c-section, as he came along less than two years after my first one. For that delivery I was so much more relaxed and ready to recover right away. Also, nursing worked out much better. It will take time to recover physically and mentally from a c-section - it is surgery after all. But if you can mentally prepare yourself for it and have your fiance's support to help you through the first few weeks after the delivery, hopefully you will be alright.
One big thing I want to tell you and I know you are working on it, if you decide to nurse, please make sure you eat as many meals as you can in order to give your baby as much as possible but also, and most importantly, to give you the energy and nutrition nursing and taking care of an infant will take out of you. Try to rest now as much as you can as well.
I hope it helped you a little bit and I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy. Keep us all posted on your pregnancy.
Best wishes,
A.

Hi Lacey,

It is normal do be afraid with your first child. First I would say that you should trust your OB/GYN I think if you do than you will feel comfortable. Try not to worry so much about the c-section. If that is the way that you have to go and that is best for you and your little girl than worring will not change that. I have not has one myself but I know a couple of paople that have. I would say just follow the dr's orders and do what is best for you and your baby. About her weight gain they told my friend that she was not gaining enough weight when she was pregnant and her daughter came out a perfect size 6lb 5 oz i think she was. I know it is hard with all that you going through but just try to relax and not stress so much. I would also talk to your dr about your concerns. I know it is hard not having a mom to call and get advice from. I really hope that everything you hear from other moms can be some help and make you feel a little more at ease. If you need someone to talk to I am not an expert but I can always listen and give you my opinion and try to help you in any way I can.
I wish you the best of luck,
J.

I myself battled the same "demons" (anarexia) at the age of 18.I know what it's like....it messes up your head.I got to 110 lb (5'8) and my body started eating my mussles.....I hope you're really short being 92lb I can't imagine.
Are you talking to somebody about eating disorder???Trying to eat better is not enough.....you need to ask them how many calories/fat you need to be getting a day and you need to follow it.Baby needs food to grow....lots of it!!!!!Iwill be praying for you and your little girl:)
PS I had 2 c-sections myself......it's a major abdominal sergery, but it was not bad. I actually was praying for a section with our first son.....God knew I was a wimp and could never do all that "labor" thing.After second one I was running after 23 months old toddler 3 days later:)

Lacey,

I don't know much about eating disorders, but it sounds to me like you love your baby. You are working on doing everything you can for her. Just try to remember your baby is counting on you to nourish her. Take your vitamins and get the rest your dr. requires. It is VERY hard in the beginning of a pregnancy to really appreciate you have a life inside of you- your baby. We are raised thinking that pregnancy is amazing and we will feel a bond to our baby immediately. That is often not the case- but now that you are seeing (and will soon be feeling) your little girl turn into a person- in your BEAUTIFUL body- it should hopefully be easier for you to prioritize. You are a mommy now- your responsiblity as a mom is to keep your child healthy and safe. I'm sure for you that's easier said than done, but go to the library and look at books on how your baby should be growing and it will hopefully click for you.
also, i know you don't have a mom figure around- and i'm so sorry about that for you, but know it's completely natural to be scared. Most of us are. Being pregnant and having all of these responibilies is a scary thing- but you seem to be a good person only wanting to do right for your baby. As long as you continue to work towards that goal- you will have a very blessed child. But remember if you don't put yours and your child's health first - especially right now, you will have a lot of regrets later.
Please keep us updated on your progress!
Good luck
L.

I ended up having a C-Section because my baby was not tolerating labor well. I wasn't prepared for it emotionally but physically the actual procedure was fine - you are completely numb from the chest down to your toes.

Its the recovery that is rough. You will definitely want someone who can spend the first two weeks with you at home because it is very painful and is hard even to just pick up your little guy but it gets better and the pain meds help.

I healed nicely from it and I am on blood thinners so getting cut open was a scary thing for me but it went off without a hitch.

It's great that you're getting help for your eating disorder. It must be difficult to be struggling with that while being pregnant for the first time. I know pregnancy in itself is a lot to deal with. Your baby is counting on you for everything so your choices affect her. It sounds like you're really trying to take care of her and yourself.

Don't be scared of the c-section. I had one because my daughter was so big and I was late and showing no signs of going into labor. It actually worked out well because I never had to go through the pain of labor. I checked into the hospital, rested, and had the surgery. The nurses will check to see if you're having contractions but attaching a belt to your tummy. I was having some and I didn't even know! After that, you will be given a catheter (to empty your bladder) and an epidural. Neither are a lot of fun but they're over really quickly. Once the epidural is in, you'll feel tingly, like your legs are falling asleep. They'll have you lie down right away because you will be numb quickly. After that, you don't feel a thing until your beautiful baby is born. They will let your fiance sit by you. He just can't be there when they are doing the epidural. He'll probably be the first one to hold the baby since you'll be on the table. After that, you'll go to recovery for an hour or 2. They'll probably give you morphene as your epidural wears off. The morphene made me feel nauseas and tired but you'll only be on it for the first day. After that, they'll give you something a little less strong so you won't feel so loopy.
I did have pain after the surgery (of course!) but the recovery really wasn't that bad. Getting out of bed the first time was the hardest but after that the pain meds helped a lot. I only needed to take them for about a week, then I felt much better.

You have lots of great advice so I'll keep it short, if you have a c-section:

-It is Very Very Important that the nurses help you get up and walk around while in the hospital. If you stay in bed for 2 days after the surgery your recovery time will double.

-After 2 weeks you will feel 85% better. Most of the pain is gone, you can walk normal and do most of the low-impact stuff on your own. 4-6 weeks before you feel 100%.

Congratulations & Best of Luck

Hi Lacey. I don't have an eating disorder, but I was so sick during my first and part of my second trimester that I hardly ate a thing. I ended up weighing less at the start of my second trimester than I did as a non-pregnant person. I did make up for lost time however and as soon as my nausea waned a bit i tried to eat everything healthy that I could get my hands on. Prenatal vitamins, as you know, are also important. It seems like you have been given lots of advice and inspiration for making healthy eating choices. It is very important for you to feel supported right now especially since you don't have family around to help you. Maybe see if there are any support groups that you could attend... I imagine that there must be other young women out there in similar situations. Also, understand that pregnant ladies nearly double their blood volume during pregnancy to support the growing baby and this is a significant and necessary part of their weight gain. Shortly after the baby comes, your blood volume returns to normal... mine regulated through 2 and a half weeks of intense night sweats. Good for you for facing your fears and reaching out for help. All the best, A.

Hi Lacey, Congratulations on your pregnancy and for trying to get healthy! You sound like you're on the right track. Make sure you take your pre-natal vitamins every day, and if you're scared about food, stick to whole foods. Bananas, spinach, oatmeal, quinoa, yogurt, kefir, tofu. There's no reason you have to gain 100 pounds when you're pregnant. Eat as much as you can so that you get your body weight up to a normal 20 year old, your height and size, and pregnant. Childbirth and Motherhood is the most amazing experience a woman can go through, and it's a gift that you should be enjoying. Try to relax and let go of the "you" with the eating disorder - you dont' have a mother figure, so now you have to mother yourself, and your tiny baby girl. Be the mother to both of you that you wish you had, and enjoy your life, and this amazing change. Keep a journal on what you're going through, keep it positive, and give it to your daughter when she is twenty. Focus on all the things you love about life, and go to the doctor when you are supposed to, and do what he or she says. I went to 3 midwives in West Caldwell - if you're looking for more role models and mom types who can advise, love and direct you, they are wonderful, and just like doctors. Good luck and stay on here - these women will be your mothers and sisters, and you'll never feel alone again. xoxoxox C.

Lacey, I know everyone has given you the same advice. I've never had a C-Section...but I know you recover from them differently than a "vagginal delivery". (The doctor will give you instructions, but you'll be severaly restricted as to what you can lift for a while, etc.)

Take care of YOU. Drink LOTS of water, and make sure you eat five times a day. I'm due in December, and weight gain has never been an issue for me...but my stomach knows when it's time for Baby Boy to eat! Seriously, I get hungry at 8, 10, 12, 2, 4 and then dinner at 6. A little snack will do you - remember that you'll be hungry again in a few hours! Try to have lots of protein, and fruit and veg...if you eat nothing but crackers all day, you'll get funky blood sugar and headaches.

Does that help? If you want to talk, remember you can e-mail me, too!

Hi Lacey
Im so glad you found comfort, and some good advice from all the great moms out here! Your post sounds better than last time(not so scared!)(I'm glad for that too) I had two c-sections. The first was an emergency after 41 hours of labor, the second one was planned. I was so scared at first because it is major surgery. But I have to say, I was pleasently surprised! It did not hurt nearly as bad as I thought it would(and I am a BIG wimp!), and I recovered rather quickly. I was more surprised at all the energy it took from me. I would get tired/worn out very quickly. That too passed quickly. The main difference between the two for me was the drugs. Fot the first I had only an epidural, then some pain meds after (which I was able to wean myself off of while still in the hosp.) The second time around (different doctor) I had a spinal, but they added pain meds with it. Big mistake (for me). I would not go that rout again. a spinal or epidural is plenty. I happen to know I don't do well with pain meds., they tend to make me sick. I ended up throwing up on myself the second time because I couldn't get up. So you should discuss those things with your doctor, esp. if you know you don't do well with meds. Also, The first time you have to get up...That is probabley the worst part. It is no fun. I was sure my insides were going to fall out! Of course they did not! And it's true that the more you move the better you feel. It is hard in the beginning, but it gets easier, just take it slow but keep going. Also, going to the bathroom after...not fun! (esp. poop!)but again, not that bad, and passes quickly. It is all so worth it in the end.
The experience itself was very easy. I was awake the whole time and my husband was with me. I couldn't see anything because they put up a big sheet. That included the baby too. I was bummed about that, but they brought her to me pretty quickly. It's a very odd feeling, during the surgery. You can feel a bit, but no pain. I felt them pull the babies out. It was kind of cool.
I will admit I felt cheated, because I didn't get to push, but...My girls are here, and healthy. In the end that's all that matters.
Again, I wish you the best of luck, and a beautiful healthy baby girl! Let me know if I can help any further.

Your baby will probably make up for it in the last trimester. Is there a wellness clinic near you. Maybe you could join a support group for eating disorders. I'm sure there are alot of other women out there that are battling the same demons you are. In the meantime, MILKSHAKES honey and try not to feel guilty about them. Remeber there for your new daughter. The weight will go away after delviery and you will feel empowered after giving birth. Be happy and good luck.

Hi Lacey! so as I mentioned to you earlier, I am a maternity nurse (I deal with post partum moms and healthy newborns)... c-sections are not that bad at all... you will go into the OR and get your spinal epidural.. then you lay down and they check to make sure you are numb.. after that, your fiance will be allowed into the room and will be right by your side.. they then begin the operation.. within a few minutes your baby girl will be here!!! post partum, you should have a PCA pump (patient controlled analgesia). which means you will be on morphine or dilaudid and when you are uncomfortable, you press the button and it will give you more medicine... if you are sitll uncomfortable, call for your nurse and she can give you something else for pain. youwill also have a cathetr in your bladder so that you can just rest and relax in bed without having to get up to teh bathroom... you will have this stuff for about 12 hours. after that it all comes out and you will be o pain pills, usually percocet and motrin.. my advice to you is to stay on top of the pain the first couple of days. you will be sore, but if you stay on top of the pain (take your pain meds every 3 to 4 hours) you shoudl be fine. once you are allowed to get out of bed, walk! it will help with the gas to get it moving again don't push yourself the first day... I hoep I eased some of your fears! it's really not that bad... pleae let me know if you have any other questions!! Are you seeing someone ot hlep you with the eating disorder?? remember that little girl is completely dependent on you to feed her..

Hi Lacey,

Congrats on your baby girl, I have a 18 month old daughter and girls are the best. First I would like to say I think you are a very strong and brave person to share your eating disorder with the public. Its not easy to admit when you have a problem that's the first step. I have never meet you of course but from your writing I can tell you are a beautiful person inside and out I am sure, or you would not care so much about the health of your unborn baby. You do have to care about your own health too so keep up the good work and get eating a bit more. Don't go crazy just things that you are comfortable with, maybe alitle extra fruits and veggies would help. Ok so I had a c-section and really it all depends on the individuals tolerence of pain. It really was not that bad, the surgery itself was a breeze, once they give you the epidural you feel nothing. The baby is out in less than 5 minutes. The annoying part for me was it too about an hour to stitch me up so you have to lay there and wait. The recover was not bad either you are just a bit more restricted. The first 24 hrs they don't want you to get up but when you do it is a bit painful at first, they will give you a pain killer though usually percaset, which worked wonders for me. The other thing is the first bowel movement that's alittle painful because you can't strain at all and sometime you can become constipated so drink lots of water and if you want they will give you a stool softener ask for it if they don't. Then once you get home no heavy lifting and no stairs for at least 4 weeks. No driving for a week, after they take out your staples. Good Luck and I a sure you will do fine. Feel free to ask any other questions you like I love to help people :) J. B

I didn't have a c-section but just wanted to tell you to hang in there! I did struggle with an eating disorder years ago so I do know what that's like, and it should be treated like any other disease. Did the doctor refer you to any counseling or someone you can talk to about it? That was the only way I was able to battle my disorder.
I wish you lots of luck! I know it's easier said than done, but keep nibbling away for that baby girl, and for yourself!!! Carrying that baby alone is going to be tough on your body, so it needs all the nourishment possible.
We're here if you ever need anything!!! :)
Lynsey

I'm sorry I can't help you much with the diet part of your question. (I am on the opposite end of the eatting scale!) I did, however have a c-section in June. I really did not want one but it was necessay for the babies health! It really wasn't that bad. It was nice that my fiance was allowed in the room with me. He sat behind me the whole time. The hardest thing for me to deal with was not being able to immediatly hold my baby. They did show me him right away, then once he was cleaned up a little and wrapped up my fiance held him the whole time. It was nice to atleast see him get held by his father.

I hope this helps to ease your worries a little. I wish you strength throughout your pregnancy!

Hi, Lacey,

There are some judgmental and mean people on this list -- sometimes you will see their posts. I know I have been a victim of their "support and wisdom." However, most of us are helpful and kind. We give the best advice we have to give not that it is always right or maybe not the right answer for you. If you do fall victim to someone's negativity on this list, try not to let it affect you.

I was planning a home birth and so obviously a c-section was the furthest thing from my mind. After laboring for 29 hours at home, I gave up and went to the hospital for help and ended up with a C-section. It's not something I would choose to repeat, but actually it wasn't bad. They give you a spinal anesthetic. I was afraid of getting that, but it was not too painful and so fast acting (after 29 hours of labor it was a great relief!). It is not a general anesthesia so you will be awake during the process (which really is o.k.) and you will not feel bad afterward like you would with a general anesthesia. The C-section doesn't take too long. A couple of weeks later my incision got infected and I had to take antibiotics. There's a lot more to it than that, but suffice to say that it was not as bad as I expected.

I know a lot of people suggested your getting a doula. I still think that's a good idea. You have choices about things that happen to you when you give birth. Knowing what your options are and having a birth plan will help you feel more confident. A doula can quickly explain and help you explore options.

We all have personal demons that we fight, although some people have bigger demons than others. I find it easier to battle my demons when I think about my son and how I want to live a long, healthy life so that I can be there for him. And when you are pregnant, what you do, eat, think, etc. can affect your child now and forever. It's a big responsibility, but so worth it. Being a mom is the greatest joy I have ever known!

Mamasource is a good support network. You might want to check out La Leche League, as well. They are about supporting women who choose to breastfeed, but are generally supportive, as well. There are all kinds of support groups for people with eating disorders. Have you ever participated in one of those?

I know we like to remain anonymous on this list, but if you were willing to let people know what city you live in, people could give you more specific advice about resources in your area. I have seen posts from people living around NYC, Albany, and Ithaca -- pretty widespread.

Good luck!

I too am small and went through a C-section. The first day after recovery was very painful, meaning getting out of bed for the first time I thought I wanted to die, the first shower, I sat down in. But let me tell you I was shocked how quickly the pain subsided. One down fall is that you can't drive for over a week and you can't do stairs for a while. But if your man is helpful , you will be fine. It will allow you to rest and consentrate on the important things yourself and your Baby.

I do not want you to feel judged but I truly think you should work on the eating thing!!! Not only for your baby but for yourself. She is going to need you for a long time and she is going to mimic what you do. Size and shapes of bodies are all different and beautiful, do not be a shamed of what you were blessed with. Try to imbrace yourself and your new baby! Remember any weight that you put on is for your babies well being she can only get nutrients through you right now so if at all possible try to put your eating problems to the curb and do what is best for her, you will not regrett it!!! And neither will she!!!

Good Luck, We are all on your side!!!

Hey Lacey,
I had an unexpected c-section after 36 hours of labor because I wasnt dilating and my daughter wasnt coming down....and I have to say that I loved my c-section...had no problems at all....After my epidural I couldnt feel anything from the waist down...when it wore off I was fine and able to walk around the next day...I found that the more I moved around the better I felt...if I sat for too long I got stiff and it was kind of hard to get up....I think I probably felt a little too good and started doing things before I should have because I popped a few stitches...If and when we are blessed enough to have another child it will be another c-section....and I am totally ok with that....Just try not to stress yourself out about it now...it is ok to worry but just know that if you end up having to have a c-section it will be ok...If you have any other questions feel free to ask!!
Meg :)

If you have an eating disorder and I understand I had problems with that also, please look at the nutritional food that you eat as food for your baby, At twenty years old you will lose any weight you gain after you have the baby. This is the babies only chance to get the healthy start she needs to develop normaly and grow up healthy. Just picture the food going directly to her and picture her in your mind growing.I have not had a C-section but my sisters have and friends and you can actually plan a date and all. I did not gain weight fast with my little girl, I ate alot of yogurt ,tuna fish and cold cereal, she was 6'12" when she was born and she grew up to be a fine young women. Best of luck to you.

C-sections are not that bad, as so many other people here have described. Yes, there is some pain and a recovery period but it is not horrible. Just line up some help for the first 2-3 weeks if you can.

I feel for you being stressed out over the pregnancy and your own eating issues. It is normal to be worried about being a mom the first time. I had a relatively planned, uncomplicated pregnancy the first time and was still stressed out about becomeing a mom some of the time. Now I am pregnant again and am stressing over how I will manage with a baby and an active almost 3 year old. Even when most things are going your way you can always find something to worry about if you look.

Being pregnant isn't always pleasant--but so far it is the only way to have a baby! I jokingly called my babies "the parasite" throught the first trimenster until the morning sickness let up. That was my way of dealing with feeling like a little alien had hyjacked my body. A lot of adjusting to pregnancy and motherhood is accepting that you no longer have full control of your body or your life. It is scary at times and is probably harder for you than some if it plays into some of the same issues as your eating disorder. But then again if you can get some prespective you might be able to laugh about the humor in the situation as well. I hope you have some type of professional support (therapist, support group, etc) for the eating disorder. I am on the other side of the fence (significantly overweight) and I just decided to eat as nutritiously as I can manage and let my body do what it needs to do while pregnant. I can worry about any extra weight later if I need to. I have found a few good ideas for adding nurtients without adding huge numbers of calories. What to Expect when You Are Expecting has a milkshake recipie for a yogurt smoothie with fruit, a few teaspoons of powdered milk and wheat germ and it tastes pretty good. Any time you can pick a whole grain, raw fruit or veggie or a less processed food it helps. I read a book called Perfectly Pregnant that has some great nutrition ideas (but it also has an overly sunny isn't-motherhood-wonderful tone).

I hope all goes well for you and your baby. Keep in mind you are far from the only one struggling or feeling scared and you are most definitely not alone.

Oh Lacey, please know that there's lots of support for you, here and elsewhere. I applaud your decision to seek help and it's obvious you're really trying to help your baby. As someone with lifelong food issues, I do understand the grip that it has on you- but that's just it- it's not about you anymore. It's ONLY about your daughter. Concentrate on what she needs. Everything you do from this point on is out of love for your child. If you focus on her, maybe it'll be easier to put your food issues on the back burner.
I would also call one of those eating disorders hotlines- maybe they can find you some help in your area.
I wish you health, happiness, and peace of mind-
-J.

Lacey,
First of all, take care of you. You are going to be fine if you believe you will be fine. I have had two C-sections, and my oldest daughter had one. It doesn't hurt to have it, they give you something, and nowadays your boyfriend will be able to be in the room to give you his love and support through it. It is painful afterwards, but so worth it--the prize is that beautiful girl you are growing inside you. You may not have to have a C-section anyway--I agree with those who told you to go see a midwife. Usually they have the skills to be more nurturing than a regular OB/GYN. Also, surround yourself with positive thoughts and people. You will be fine. I was so scared the first time, I too was twenty, and although I had a Mom I couldn't talk to her about it. I got through it because my guy was so wonderful. You will get through this, too, and remember, the prize will be a daughter you can love and who will love you back. For now, take care of you, and try not to worry so much. Remember visualize positive thoughts--a beautiful "normal" delivery--a gorgeous baby, and you surrounded by lots of love.

Having your first baby can be scary, even if you have lots of family around. You do have family -- you have Jason, and now you also have all of us who are responding to your request for advice. We may not be related to you, but we all care about you and hope for the best. I have struggled with an eating disorder for longer than you've been alive. However, my best times were actually when I was pregnant. I was eating for someone else, so I made sure I ate the proper foods (you can check online or get lots of material at the clinic, the library, or an ob-gyn's office. Right now, it isn't about you; it's about your baby and you CAN do it for her, a little bit at a time. You can try protein shakes, granola bars, cheese, whatever sounds good to you. You don't have to have big meals to gain weight. You can snack on healthy stuff. I gained the most weight with my first eating all sorts of fruits and veggies! Don't obsess about it, just try to relax and eat as best you can. There is no magic amount of weight to gain and not everyone gains a lot. Some women have morning sickness for months and actually lose weight and still have perfectly healthy babies. Your doctor shouldn't have scared you about not being able to deliver vaginally. Mine said that too because I was so small, but all three of mine were delivered vaginally. The time to focus on that is in February. Good luck and God Bless you.

O.k. first of all. Don't worry about the delivery. You need to have a healthy pregnancy. You have to remind yourself, even if it's daily, that this pregnancy and this life aren't about you. It's all about this little girl your carrying. So eat healthy, drink your water, and take your vitamins. As for the c-section. I had 2 of them. My 2nd was easier because I wasn't in labor for 20+ hours and then had surgery. So I wasn't tired afterwards. My recovery wasn't bad, but for the first 2 weeks after delivery you can't do anything except lift the baby. No driving, no laundry, no nothing. Even doing stairs is not recommended. What you need to concentrate on is getting healthy. Not just for you but for your daughter. She deserves a healthy momma. And you deserve a healthy life too. Get yourself whatever help you need. If you don't think you can do it for yourself, do it for your baby. Good luck to you.

Hey Lacey! It's your "big sister" again. ;)

I'm glad you took the advice to go to the clinic. Are you seeing someone specifically for your eating disorder now? The counceling alone would be a huge help during this time for you I think.

The main thing is to continue eating for your baby. You don't want her to be any more underweight than she has to be at this point because, not to scare you, but babies who are born too underweight can have problems. I know you don't want that, plus you are going to need strength for delivery, recovery, and just motherhood.

As for the c-sections, I have had three so whatever questions you may have, don't hesitate to email me. My first one was an emergency one and the last two I opted for if that tells you anything. :)

Hugs,
L.

Hi Lacey --

I had a C-section with my first and will likely with my second (due in February, too) because of my anatomy. The first couple days suck, but you're in the hospital so you have lots of help and support from the staff there. Don't be afraid to take the pain meds -- even if you're breastfeeding (I did and there were no complications for either of us). Reducing pain is key so you can get up and walk as quickly as possible. Getting up and out of bed is crucial. Once you're out of the hospital, just follow the doc's instructions -- don't pick up anything heavier than your baby, don't drive and take it easy. Your fiance is going to have to step up and help out. Make sure he's prepared for that. You've got a 6 week recovery time. Don't push yourself. You're young so I'm sure you will bounce back fast, but don't be tempted to do too much too soon.

And please find a support group for your eating disorder, before and after the baby comes. You said you don't have any family except your fiance and you NEED people, Lacey. You need support and people to talk to and cry to and admit your fears to. Ask your doctor or call the hospital where you will deliver to find out where you can go. You will be a mom soon and your little girl is going to depend on you for everything. You'll need to be strong and you can be. You've reached out already. Now don't look back, look forward to help and health.

Once your baby is here, look or a new moms support group to join. I'm sure you will find women there who are going through some of the same things you are. I made some wonderful new friends through a local support group after my son was born who I know I can call up anytime, even now, to ask for help or just to talk something out. A place to start is La Leche League. They can be a little militant about breastfeeding, but there are a lot of caring, knowledgable women in that group. Here's the website:

http://www.llli.org/

Good luck, Lacey!