Explaining Your Special Ed Job to Your Own Child?

"Different children learn in different ways, so teachers divide up the kids to work on different things at different times." Don't make a distinction between "regular teachers" and "special teachers for kids with problems."

Also make it clear that kids who went with you missed out on what she did that was really fun too. Tell her everyone gets taught the same stuff by the end of the day, just in a different order.

And you can play the games with her at home. Tell her that's where you are her mommy, but in school you are the teacher and she doesn't get to tag along with you. Other kids don't have their moms at school either.

I am REALLY surprised that an eight year old doesn't already understand what these pull outs mean. Even as young as first grade I knew, without anyone telling me, that certain kids were pulled because they needed extra help.
I would just explain that at school it's your job to give specific kids specific kinds of help and support, and since SHE doesn't need what the other kids need, she stays in the classroom. Don't overthink it or over explain it, keep it simple, and remind her you are WORKING there, and the "games" are a part of your work.

I would think that your DD is aware of the differences in his classmates. My son is in 1st and he knows that there are some kids in his school that need extra help or assistance. Is there a possibility that another member of the Special Ed staff could assist you by going to get the kids, just from your DD's class, so that she does not see you taking them to their OT?

Every kid in that classroom knows why some kids are pulled out. Sorry but both my younger kids had pull out services and I am laughing at your last line. Professional discretion? Yeah, you can't tell her what services they receive or their diagnosis. That would be bad. But thinking she doesn't know those kids get special ed services? I am only laughing because you remind me of my brother when he passed his bar, everything was so important.

Just relax and tell your daughter she is not one of your students so she can't go with you.

i'm a little surprised that so much secrecy and 'discretion' is necessary. is it shameful to be learning-impaired?
but then, i don't get the constant kerfuffle and scrambling to find just the right politically correct language either. i think 'RE-tard' is vicious, but 'retarded' isn't. so clearly i'm too blunt for the current atmosphere.
i wouldn't expect an 8 year old to display 'professional discretion' but i wouldn't think she's too ignorant to understand some degree of nuance. do 8 year olds REALLY not get why some kids get pulled out? would she really be baffled by 'eddie and lorinda have special learning challenges, and it helps them to do certain activities that other kids don't need. you just keep your fanny in your seat and listen to mrs puffnstuff. that's your job'?
khairete
S.

Children understand. Just tell her.

These kids know that some kids go to special enrichment. It is no secret and not considered a big deal at all.

I would tell her that you're in charge of teaching some students, and not all of them and that as she gets older, different teachers teach different kids. Tell her that when she gets in 5th grade, she might have separate teachers for math, and for reading and for spelling, instead of just one teacher. It's part of not being a little kindergartner or first grader any more. When she gets to middle school, she'll move around from classroom to classroom, and not just have her own desk or stay in one room.

And about the fun and games part, try to think about certain games that her teacher might use, for learning math facts, or other learning activities that use puzzles or fun tasks, and tell her that you use similar tools with the kids that you teach, and that its not recess or play time.

I would merely say that some students need extra support.

And, just so you know, I had 'kiddos' pulled out for 'gifted' services as well when they were younger.

MANY schools do (did??) try to provide support for kids on BOTH sides of the bell curve.

I would just tell her that this is your job. And, that you will have time for 'her' when your work day (and her school day) is over.

Period.

Best!

I would play the games and things with her at home. To show her what they are like. Then I'd explain to her how doing things in a backdoor sort of way helps kids learn things that might be hard for them.

For instance, many parents enroll their kids in beginning dance. Then if they observe the class they see the kids maybe doing the hokey pokey or having grass skirts on and doing a goofy hula.

They say they aren't paying for their kids to "play".

I explain to them that a 3 year old isn't programmed to stand still and tap their toe on command. They are learning they have a right hand, there it is, and hey, I'm supposed to do something with it so I need to listen, okay, now I need to do something else so I need to listen to my teacher. In the Hula they learn step together step and hey, I have a hand and COOOOOL! I can make it move like an ocean wave, gonna do that again!!!! COOOOOL!

SO even though the parents see a silly game or non-dancing teaching the kids ARE learning things by doing these activities. The biggest thing is to listen and do what they are asked. Not like little automatons but like kids learning to process simple commands and performing the needed action.

Helping your child learn that skills can be learned isn't a breach of confidentiality, it's telling her that she can play these games at home with you and her friends only get a few minutes every now and then. She's having fun with you at home.

I think if she's smart she'll figure out that the students you are working with are working on specific skill building activities. Perhaps that is something that you can do with her too, talk to her about an area she is having a harder time then do some work that helps her improve. Then she can see how handy it is to have that new skill.

I would not ever tell her the WHY of what those particular classmates are learning and I know you'll be careful too.

Good job mom, getting an education is awesome!!

I used to say that it was the school's job to make sure every child got everything they needed to do well in school and that the school decided which kids were assigned to teachers and other staff. End of story. Repeat as necessary.

But I do understand your daughter thinking someone is having fun, while she is working, especially if she is in a class where the work is not fun or interesting. Sometimes I would bring my most interesting activity home and share it with the child of mine who felt left out.

I would tell her that since you are her daughter, you are not allowed to pull her out. It's just the school policy.

IMO, seriously consider moving to another district.
There's just SO much potential for privacy violation there.

I taught at the same school as my two youngest children for their whole elementary experiences. They did not get any special treatment because of this. They had to behave in school and then when school was over they had to sit in my classroom and do their homework while I finished my work. I taught sp. ed, first thru third grade and reading intervention. I would say mom is there to work. I do not work with all kids just the ones that need what I do. While I am doing my job you must do yours which is to sit there and do your work and behave. I will not be able to give you any special recognition or attention while I am at work. It is not fair to the other kids and it is not the best thing for you.