let me ask you to look at this from aunties point of view, you (your immediate family) is flying out there (how much is that trip costing?), and want to give him a big dinner (even home made is expensive - how is that being paid for?) and huge gift via contributions. where are your aunts? in NC already? do they have the expense of travel? can you gauge from a far whether you think $140 is too much for them to handle (really - remember what it was like, regardless where their money comes from) or are they just being cheap?
i have issues like this in my family as well, and i have just accepted that some people just dont 'get it' so you plan to make up the difference financially with or without the rest of the families help or dont do it/offer a grand idea. your options may be leave them out of the cash pool(and they dont get the credit of the gift being from them too), have them give 20 bucks or 40 each for the 80, decide to downsize the gift, or suck up their part and do what you want.
have they asked you for money since this situation?
how does the rest of your family view the situation? that should give you some insight on how to feel or proceed.
the big thing in our family is when we all (10+ or any number really) get together to go out to dinner, they always nickle and dime the check and put in just their amounts. it always comes up short and my tendancy is just to put in my share and cover the balance rather than make a big deal out of it because it is SO annoying and i hate that situtuation. if you cant afford it - dont come! and if you can, pay and get on with it (and not that i always can, it is credit).
am i making sense? i guess ultimately it is accepting the peeps for the way they are and moving forward to not perpetuate all the stress involved, since it wont change anything anyway.