Extra Sensitive Son, Need Advise

Serena,

You may want to ask the doctor about Autism. What you described is a classic sign of Autism. And Autism is more common in boys than in girls. They say that every 1 in 66 children are effected by it. I am looking into getting my 3 year old son tested, as he shows a few signs of slight autism as well. If caught early, you can do all sorts of things to help him and most children get re-diagnosed as fine by age 5. I know that this is scarey to hear, but it is much better to find out now and take corrective actions when it can still make an enornous difference. Good luck!!!

Well, here's my idea - but it kinda depends on how close you are to the people whose kids you're watching.

Ask them to come have "play time" with you and your kids. Have a little lunch, or something. This way, he can interact with the other kids, but have your attention and the other kids can be the concern of their parents. Maybe he just needs to see that it is ok that they come to play some days. Maybe if he sees that they have their own Mama's, he will relax (??) or if that is to much pressure, invite one family at a time. Then he can play with "Josh" - then he can play with the other kid and maybe after he knows them a little he might calm down.

I've never been in this kind of situation, but that is what I would do first. Good luck!

Hi, Serena. Wow, this is quite a challenge you've got here. How does your son relate to your older kids? Is it just little ones' voices he can't stand?

I only have one suggestion that hasn't already been brought up, and it may sound too simplistic, but it's worth a shot. Have you tried ignoring your son's behavior? I know he's only a year old, and it certainly would alarm me if my child were working himself up to the point of throwing up, but maybe that's how his body reacts to that kind of emotional turmoil. It might help him to see that Mommy doesn't think there's anything to get emotional over. My six-year-old has always been emotionally "sensitive" as well. I know much of the time, my son's behavior depends on how I present the certain situation to him, and if he sees me tiptoeing around him, he takes that as a sign that there's something to react to. If I act like it's not a big deal, he relaxes.

Your dedication to your son's well-being is wonderful, Serena, but if you try to drown out all the noise, or whatever else upsets him, you may only end up making him more sensitive. Just my two cents. :) I wish you and your little guy the best!

(Hey, by the way, congrats on 10 years of marriage. My husband and I will celebrate our 7th anniversary, God willing, in April, and it's been a fulfilling but tough road. Especially nowadays, I admire those who make it to the decade mark!)

Hi Serena, Bless your heart! And your son's too! :-) It's wonderful that you want to take care of other children. Sounds like you're a very loving Mom! Your son may be crying at the times those other children are just talking because he doesn't want to share you. I really don't think your son's allergies has anything to do with how he's acting. For now, may be you can help those Mom's whose children you're watching, find another in-home care for them. I feel as though your bond with your son is more important than caring for other children right now. And from what I read in your message, you feel the same way. :-) Sounds like you have a wonderful family! My husband also does the dishes for me sometimes, and also helps with laundry and other housework. Can't find many men who will do that! :-) I'm sorry I don't have any real answers for you. I wish you the best. Let me know what happens.

I don't want to alarm you, and I'm not an expert on the subject, but have you had him screened for Aspberger's? I am an elementary teacher and kids who have been diagnosed often are ultra sensitive to sound stimulation. I've heard it normally appears around 15-18 months, so that's about right. Like I said, I don't want to scare you--I know how that can be, but call CEP or ask your doctor for a referral center to have him screened. I actually had my daughter screened on a preschool teacher's advice, and she 'passed' with flying colors. It's a free service, and might at least rule that out.

S.