Extracurricular Activities for 8 Year Old

My friend's mom growing up had a rule about always having one activity going. So when she quit gymnastics after Jr. high, fine, but she had to replace it with something else active (she chose tennis). So I would allow him to quit soccer, but I would have him choose a new sport or activity to try out as a replacement. He doesn't get to just get more Video Game time.

I agree with others who have said you don't want to over-schedule or a force a kid into something they don't like. But I do think they should have at least one "thing" that is outside of school and special to them.

If he's not into it anymore I don't see the point in forcing it on him. I am also one of the few parents that doesn't think kids NEED to be in activities all the time. My daughter (who is also 8) gave up dance this year because she no longer enjoyed it (they were moving her up to be more competitive and she only wanted to dance for fun).

She does love to read so I had her join a book club and she still sings in chorus. Since we homeschool I prefer that she does at least one activity outside of home (but I wont force it), other then that she has her free time. I let her choose what she wants to do, sometimes video games, reading, crafts, etc..

I think its important for kids to learn how to manage their free time (with guidance) and not get all stressed out by parents managing their time for them or forcing them to do an activity that they cant stand.

One way to solve this is to have a set amount of game time each day, no matter what. If he quits he has no more time than if he stayed with it.

Take away the video games. I am serious when my 7 year old son gets so obsessed with video games we just take them away, he hasn't had them in over a month. It's amazing how he will find stuff to do and get into different interests then. When he gets them back he only gets to play for an hour a day that's timed and then no more. Which has always been the rule.

I don't understand how this generation came to so over schedule our kids' lives. Mandatory extracurriculars at 8? Something to clap for? Since when did children become our entertainment or our badge of honor? No, it should not be for more video game time, but hooray for free time! It's through free time that children explore what interests them, become creative, learn to self direct. My kids both hated soccer. We tried gymnastics and tae Kwan do, too. The only regular activity my son has is piano lessons and scouts (which he's welcome to drop whenever he wants). Beyond that, he has learned to make stop motion animation, cartoon, build elaborate Lego creations, climb trees, etc. it's become hard to hang out with friends because their parents keep carting them from activity to activity! When do the kids learn to self direct? It makes me really sad. If he doesn't want to do it and wants more free time, give it to him - but make it clear, screen time is still limited.

ETA to Angela - I grew up on a small farm - maybe it's the joy of that life.

I wish I knew you in real life, Veruca Salt. I agree with you completely, but few people seem to think the way we do.

My boys have tried out various activities through the years, but many years they haven't been signed up to do anything. We enjoy our time at home. Living on a small farm, there is always something that needs to be done. My boys are both incredibly creative, and that creativity needs time to develop. They aren't allowed, or even inclined at this point, to sit in front of a screen for hours on end, and we have encouraged them to try a variety of activities with others which they have enjoyed to varying degrees, but if they want to hang out at home with or without friends, I'm thrilled! :)

Our oldest developed a love of music and swimming through the years, and our youngest loves art, golf, and basketball. They aren't recluses who hide out inside playing video games. Kids can develop normally without having tight schedules. ;)

I would let him not play soccer, but I would also let him know that not only is he going to be not be getting more game time, he'll be getting less.

Take away access to the system during the week (we accomplish this by taking away the power cord and controllers). Give him a few hours over Friday-Sunday where he can play and that's it. If it's not an option, he'll be more willing to get out and do something. I would start that immediately and when he says he's bored, use that to have him figure out what he wants to try.

Eight year olds are fickle for sure. My youngest is 8 now and every sport includes some waffling back and forth over whether or not to play. The season are long, sometimes they don't get on the same team as their best friends or have a coach they don't like, or they lose every game, etc. Lacrosse is always a last-minute decision for him but he has played the past two seasons. This year he's playing hockey, a turnaround from last year, when it was all soccer, all the time. He was fine missing fall soccer this year.

For me, like you, the issue wouldn't be which activity he does (could be theater or an instrument or swimming, golf, martial arts, fencing, whatever) but that he thinks video games are a viable past time. They're not. Put more structure around his game days and he'll "get it" more quickly. Taking away games during the week for all of our kids has been one of the best decisions we've made. We're one year two of this and are NEVER going back to weekday gaming.

I'm a big fan of the activity called, "Get outside!" ;-)
Organized sports, individually as well as team, are great options but definitely not the only ways to get kiddos out and active. We've done soccer, football, dance, & swimming lessons in the past but haven't done anything for the last two years for a number of reasons. Perhaps next year since the kiddos are coming to me & asking if they can do xyz but I'm not pushing anything. Once I realized that young kids on a soccer field is like herding cats & neither I nor my kids actually enjoyed it in reality we stopped signing up.
As far as the video games goes - that's all up to you momma. Our kiddos earn poker chips that they can trade in for $ or screen time & that's the only time they get other than our family movie night. This means that they have a very limited amount of time to even play video games or watch something. The above mentioned "get outside" activity is good for almost all weather too. We've lived in Texas, Florida, Colorado, Virginia, & Iowa with our kiddos & they go out in almost all weather. Snowy & 17 degrees? That's what snow suits, mittens, scarfs, & hats are for. 100 degrees & humid? That's what shorts, tank tops, plenty of water to drink & shade/sunscreen is for.
Hope you find something that works for you guys!

I only make swimming (safety life skill) and music (brain development) mandatory. Sports are not necessary, as long as my kids live an active lifestyle.

That sounds a lot like my 10-year old son. My problem would come from I ask if he wants me to sign him up (which unfortunately happens at least a couple months before the actual sport does) and he would say he wants to do it, then when it was time to start he would start complaining that I signed him up (I swear I was ready to start recording him telling me to sign him up!). And like your son he would complain about going, but once he was there he enjoyed himself.

But what we've slowly realized is that my nerdy, video game kid is not much of a team sports person. We discovered fencing this year through a week long camp at the YMCA, and he LOVES it. He also likes doing track and field through the Y, which added a conditioning class this winter that he has been doing.

So while I don't feel like kids need to be scheduled every minute of the day, I encourage you to keep looking for something that your son likes to do. Mine did art for a while that he really liked, though he chose this year not to sign up. He's done Engineering with Legos classes, and still does Cub Scouts (which thankfully isn't very often each month).

Just be willing to look beyond the traditional team sports. There are so many things out there for them to discover and "own" as being "their thing".

Don't force the soccer - he did it for 2 seasons and didn't love it. It's fine for kids to experiment.

I think 1 practice and 1 game is fine for an 8 year old. I disagree passionately with over scheduling kids so don't put him in something more rigorous.

But video games? Nope - take them away during the extra time and really limit his screen time (tv, computer, gaming). Let him learn to choose what's most important and entertaining for him and not just idly play.

If he spends a season with nothing organized and he misses it, you'll know. If he still doesn't like soccer but wants something else organized, let him try that the next time - karate or a musical instrument, some sort of volunteering in the neighborhood (helping a senior citizen, collecting for the food pantry or the animal shelter, etc.) or helping the children's librarian put books away and straighten things up. It doesn't have to be a sport and it doesn't have to be what his friends are doing. 99.9% of the participants in any sport are to going to have any "serious future" in it so there is no point in pushing something because you think he's going to be a pro. Too many of those other families are pushing their kids (as if the kids will go pro or get into college because of it), and that actually does ruin it for many other casual participants.

If he's bored with no video games, another activity might seem pretty attractive. But there's no rule that he has to do something you pay for. There could be any number of fun and creative and constructive things you could implement at home that would let him explore more and stretch his creative side.

well, if you immediately and firmly close the door on 'i'll have more time for video games', then that part of the discussion goes away, doesn't it? especially if you are, as i hope, a parent who follows through so your 8 year old knows this is non-negotiable.
i certainly wouldn't make a child do an activity he's tried and rejected. i'd strew his path with opportunities to try something else, and look for ones that he could sample without making long commitments out of the gate.
i'd also allow him the opportunity to get bored. boredom is ridiculously underrated in modern parenting. it has such gifts to offer. there are very few kids who really want to do NOTHING. if he ends up with a lot of free time and isn't allowed to fill it up with video games, boredom will ensue, along with its annoying cousins, whining, resentment and demands. and when all of those don't get the results he wants, that's when the creativity spark is finally allowed to emerge.
he's 8. you have control over all of this, and you don't have to be an oppressive parent to do it. you just say 'no soccer is fine. is there something else you'd like to try? no? well, let me know when you want me to take you to the library, then.'
and let him figure it out.
khairete
S.

If it is the end of the season and he is no longer in soccer, I suggest you give him some options and put him in some drop in classes.

My rule is, once they are signed up and committed, they don't quit until the season is over.

There are so many other options and I agree, that video games should not be one of them. In fact, I would probably limit the time on the video games so he can regain his focus.

We have tried, dance, karate, tennis, triathlons, figure skating, and hockey. So far she likes hockey, then figure skating, triathlons, and tennis. She is active in all of her favorites except tennis.

Two things. My son (and husband) have always LOVED video games. Just like I love photography, cooking, crafts, etc. so I have never felt the need to make them love what I love.
But my guys also like to read, exercise, listen to music.
So you've only exposed him to soccer? What about baseball, swimming, tennis, running, guitar, woodworking, science, art, cooking, skiing, gymnastics, piano, dance, theater, etc? etc?
The world is WAY bigger than soccer.
Go ahead and sign him up for things you think HE may be interested in (even if he initially says no) because sometimes kids need a push.
Beyond that, let him choose what he wants to do with his leisure time.
How would you feel if someone was telling you how to spend YOUR free time?

I would definitely not sign him up for soccer if he doesn't want to do it. He's tried it 2 years, so he has enough experience to be able to say it's not for him.

Tell him he needs to pick another activity instead of soccer. You'll have to do a little research and present him with a few options, baseball, track, floor hockey (this is some of what we have in our area for spring rec). Tell him to give it some thought. Does he have any buddies that are active in other pursuits? See what ideas he comes up with or what sparks his interest from other offerings you find. If he doesn't pick, tell him you'll pick something for him.

If he's not into sports, check out arts and sciences. Does your area have a science museum or zoo with classes for kids? I don't think you have to push sports because not all kids have the interest or inclination, but there's so much more to explore than video games. He can still stay active outside playing getting exercise from non-organized sports leagues. And 8 is a great age to try things out. I'd tell him OK to say no to soccer, but he needs to sign up for something else instead.

My daughters got into soccer kind of late and love it. Just love it. So if he doesn't after two years, let him stop. 8 is old enough to know. My girls tried soccer around age 5 and hated it. But that's young and even then I let them stop. 8 is when they started loving it. And maybe he'll go back to it. So many other sports in the meantime. I personally didn't love soccer after a year or two and became excellent at another sport. Kids should experiment. And around 8 is when my kids quit gymnastics. Just tell him he has to pick something else. Lay out a few options. And maybe one should be martial arts.

This is going to make people cringe but I have a 10 y/o child who has 9 extra curricular activities. If you count music lesson then that would make 10. If she did not turn down Destination Imagination, that would have been 11(there are just so many hrs in a day). Most of hers are academic and some more demanding than others but all her choice. My point is, they have to be in an activity they want to do.

I do agree with you. I wouldn't let him quit soccer to play more video games but if that's where his interest is, look into some type of coding workshop. My dd's school is starting one at an elementary level so there may be one in your area that is age appropriate.

Another extra-curricular that might interest him is Lego Robotics. Ask for school they may already have one set up. This team is usually ran by a parent. If you're not familiar with it, there usually are regional, state and national competitions. Kids learn to program a robot and do missions. They learn to do research, do a presentation and teamwork. Plus all the math they learn without even realizing it.

There are a lot of things to do out there. He does not have to do something he does not like to do.

Find the online or paper catalog for your local city or county parks and recreation department -- whatever agency or organization does classes and teams etc. in your area. Sit down with him. Tell him he did fine completing two seasons of soccer and you know he doesn't want to play that (maybe he's burned out on it, mom, and not that into it as a sport, so don't force him to do soccer specifically). Then say, you and I together will pick an activity for this spring. You get a vote here, son. Play up the idea that he has some control and say in this. Then DO it.

If he has actually said out loud that he thinks he'll have more time for video games if he doesn't have another organized activity -- I hope you shut that down immediately. If he says it to you now, just say, "Sorry, pal, but you're going to be spending less time, not more, on video games." And make that happen, mom.

Also, remember -- he does NOT have to have a team sport. He might like to try something new and really different -- fencing and archery are great and really make a kid learn to focus. He might love a kids' drama class or an art class. Prompt him to think outside the area of a team sport; he's done that and got through it OK but isn't in love with it, so encourage another area altogether.

Also, have you ever looked at Boy Scouts for him? A good troop will do lots of different kinds of activities throughout the year so there are changing things to keep a kid interested. (Check out a troop by talking to parents you know -- some troops do focus very heavily on one area, like my godson's old troop that pretty much camped every single month and that was all, but every troop is different!). Your son can manage both scouting (or a church youth group, or a school club, etc.) at the same time he has school and an outside activity too.

Don't let an eight-year-old drive the decision on what he does. Parents who do that end up posting on here about how their kids sit around all the time playing video games and "running around the neighborhood" (when that really translates to being at other kids' houses....playing video games). It is definitely not overscheduling him to have him in an activity AND have him participate in things at school such as an after-school club (they don't meet often or for long, at his age) or one-time charity drive etc. He's eight, and is naturally going to say he doesn't want to do anything. If he won't pick -- pick for him, but don't just fall back on soccer because he's done it in the past or because "all the other boys do it." If he's over it, he'll be bored there and act out; he may not truly hate it but he also should be in some activity that will at least be new enough to get his attention for a time.

baseball
basketball
gymnastics
swimming
all of those have teams through the park districts

art
choir
band
theater
bookclubs etc usually through the school so part of his regular weekly thing

my kids had the rule that they had to do something we could come and clap for all year long. It could be choir or a sport didn't matter but they had to do something. so it was usually teams / music through the school during the school year and a sport in the summer. also not negotiable was that they got as much video game time as they spent reading for extra video game time when they were that age. so over and above the half hour of reading they did for school assigned reading time they had to read extra for that extra time. our kids got 1/2 hour a day of screen time. so if they wanted more they read more.

Sign him up for taekwondo or swimming or some other sport.
It's fine to try another sport/activity.
He needs to know that video games will only be for a limited time each day (or weekend only).
(Actually - recreational screen time is a privilege not a right.
He earns his screen time constantly by good behavior, completing chores, helping around the house/yard and good grades.
If he doesn't earn his screen time then he gets none.)
What ever his limit is, not doing something that gets his butt off the couch will not earn him more video game time.
No kid gets a choice to be a couch potato - and many would choose to be just that if you gave him that power.

All of my kids have been involved in activities since they were 3 or 4, it's non-negotiable for us for them to do something outside of school. They get to pick though. We don't force them to do something they don't like.

My boys like baseball, football, and basketball...they get to pick if they do baseball or football in the fall and spring, and each gets to decide. I like when they do the same but they do not have to. They both start basketball this coming Saturday for t he winter season again.

My daughter is a dancer, but she also tried soccer, t-ball, swimming, and gymnastics. Dance was her thing.

All 3 kids did Tae Kwon Do for a little over a year, but they no longer enjoyed it so we stopped. My daughter did Daisy scouts, but it wasn't her thing either.

So let him try new and different things. Let him take a class at the local college (yes, they allow kids that young) that supports a hobby of his. If it's video games, maybe something along those lines....creating his own with a program?

Don't make him do something he doesn't want to do, everyone will have to deal with him being unhappy, but I do think he should do something. So just look at all of the other options out there.

Let him know in no uncertain terms that soccer time will not be replaced by screen time of any kind, then step back and take your queues from him. When he realizes an active extracurricular must be replaced by another active extracurricular he may have some ideas about things he wants to try. There are so many options; basketball, lacrosse, tennis, volleyball, baseball, flag football, archery, swimming, track, etc etc. Take him to some games, or watch some competitions on TV, and let his interest guide you.

I wouldn't just sign him up for soccer, you're setting both of you up for a rough season if it's not his choice, plus it's just not fair to the team to have a kid there who doesn't want to be there. In rec everyone has equal playing time, it's frustrating for kids to see teammates get to play when they know the teammates don't care or want to be there; you don't want them taking that frustration out on your son.

I don't think that organized sports are mandatory, but if all he's tried is soccer, I'd encourage him to try something else just for the experience. After all, you don't know if you'd like something new until you've tried.

Make a list of everything available - make sure you include everything from sports (team and individual) to arts and music to scouts. Then let him choose.

If he's given soccer an honest try and is done with it then be done. Let him know though that he won't be seeing his friends anymore. They'll be playing together and he won't be with them. Sometimes kids don't get that part.

Then find out what's available in your community. Our kids do BMX and there are tracks all over the USA and Canada. You pay a membership fee, I think ours was around $40 per person, then that person can ride on any track in their association in USA and Canada.

When you go to a race you pay the race fee and the person rides in the moto's for their age/skill level. They can win trophies, ribbons, or points/stamps. It's great exercise and once you get the right kind of bike and gear it's something all kids want to stay with.

Then there are sports teams through their schools, Rec sports through the city, alternative sports like skateboarding if there are any board parks around your city, businesses like dance, gymnastics, martial arts, and more.

Our kids do gymnastics at a local gym just for an hour once a week. Our daughter does Girl Scouts, but they only meet twice a month. Once in awhile we will sign up for a community ed class. Most of them meet just once or no more than 6 weeks. They do everything from sports to art to Legos and much more. I like them because they don't take a huge commitment and usually don't cost much. Look for community ed classes. Ours are run through our school district.