Extreme Emotional Bad Behavior

Updated on August 12, 2008
V.P. asks from Dallas, TX
10 answers

My six year old daughter has had separation issues for 3 years. She has always screamed like she's being attacked when I leave her at daycare (I have tried different day cares) and even at school. It isn't something she does only at the beginning...it goes on and on the entire year. At her school, they call her crazy because she will literally throw herself on the floor, scream, yell for help and that she's scared in front of the entire auditorium. I have taken her to doctors and therapists...and I've done all of their positive reinforcement theories and it only works for a while. Just this week she kicked one of the ladies at the daycare so hard she was bruised. When the director was telling me, she thought it was funny and had a smirk on her face. I'm exhausted and at a loss. I've never seen other children act this way. I watch everything she eats and when I send her to her room she screams and yells for help and says she's scared (even in the middle of the day), she is extreme. I take away what she likes most and leave her in her room until she's done, sometimes this can go on for over 5 hours. I have to take my young son away to a differnt part of the house because he gets very scared (I do too) I'm afraid she will hurt herself one day.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

UPDATE: She's doing great! We got her appointment with the psychiatrist. Sofia liked her from the begining and her therapy has been working very well. They began with conginitive therapy and then play thearpy once a week. Now she's going every other week. She has been able to work with her on being able to talk to me and describe her feelings, kind of abrastact since she's still little and wasn't able describe why she felt that way before. She does school drop off now and continues to be her sweet, helpful, creative little self. I'm so proud of her and these great acomplishments!

Thank you all for your responses and and great alternative suggestions. I've taken her to two separate therapists before the divorce, during, and after. Her last therapist retired , although she was doing very well, her therapist said to me that if she regresed or got worse that we'd have to look at other resources available. I have spent a lot of time and effort w/her and my family to help her with her anger & extreme anxieties. My mother is flying in to watch them, specifically her, before school starts. Many of you mention traumatic experiences and she has had those. I left an abusive relationship, he took them away for over a month (left them w/strnagers)and unfortunately I could not keep visitation away from him. There is a struggle, I'm certain, about the events of the past. I do my best to stay calm, but she is so loud and violent, I have to stay away from her. Her pediatrician has agreed that we must find another type of behavior modification and psychiatrist. I certainly would want her away from using medication if it's unecessary, but I feel that it is time for more help. I'm waiting on an appointment and will continue to work with her however I can.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Dallas on

V.,

This sounds very difficult for you. You must feel very helpless. Unfortunately, I suspect that going to a conventional psychologist or psychotherapist might just result in medication, without any real inquiry into the cause of the problem, or any real long term healing. You will have to decide if this is best for you and your daughter.

Food allergies are certainly a potential culprit. For an excellent local lab for the state of the art testing in this area, see www.enterolab.com. Even if you think you are "watching" what she eats, there could be things aggravating her like gluten (wheat, barley and rye), dairy, soy, corn, yeast, food colorings, additives, pesticides, etc. A good pediatrician who knows more than average about nutrition is Dr. Deborah Bain in Frisco, www.healthykidspediatrics.com.

My next comment may sound rather unconventional, but you seem to have a rather unconventional situation. Have you considered consulting a medical intuitive? These are people who read the energy field of an individual to determine the root cause(s), emotional and physical, of a particular problem. A very famous medical intuitive is Carolyn Myss. www.myss.com Another one is Barbara Brennan. www.barbarabrennan.com. You can read their websites for more info, although I don't think either of them do individual readings anymore since they are reaching a larger audience. However, a local practitioner is Dr. Rita Louise, found at www.soulhealer.com.

By way of further explanation, Chinese doctors also work with the "energy" system of the body through acupuncture. Western medical physicians can't figure out why acupuncture works because they don't learn about energy in the body. Read some research studies. They often end with the conclusion that "acupuncture works, but we don't know why!" If they ask the Chinese docs, the Chinese docs will tell them - it clears energy blockage in the body, which of course makes no sense to the Western doctor who only learned of drugs and surgeries in med school. They will then try to default to speculations involving the nervous system, which is of course not the same as the meridian energy system. It would be very painful if acupuncture needles were placed into the nerves. Ouch! Rather, they are placed into the meridian energy system in the body, which is why it is not painful. Energy study is a huge gaping hole in Western medical training, along with other areas like nutrition.

The good news is that some western doctors are beginning to understand energy and study it. For example, see www.harmonyfamilyhealth.org. Dr. Daniel Chartrand is a western trained, holistically minded, family practice MD, who is also trained in acupuncture.

So intuitive energy readings and energy healing techniques (like Reikii or acupuncture, etc.), can be very useful, particularly if you want healing rather than drugs. It takes more effort to go this route. If you choose the healing route, your daughter may be too young for acupunture. There are other energy clearing techniques that may work better for her. Another website to try is Emotional Freedom Technique, www.emofree.com, which some find very useful. She is probably old enough to learn these techniques.

Very often healing requires a combination of approaches: nutrition, emotional healing, supplements, etc.

You can use your own mother's intuition to lead you down the right path for you and your daughter! Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.H.

answers from Dallas on

I have a 4 year old who has been showing some separation issues also. She's always been so independent and mature for her age but lately it's almost like someone else mentioned like she might have experienced some kind of trauma. It all began early this summer my sister lived in San Antonio and was getting ready to move farther away and she asked if she could keep my daughter for a week to spend time with her before leaving. I know she sent my daughter to a camp like program everyday and let's just say my daughter was not expecting that so she was thrown for a loop. I also think she was not ready to spend that much time away from home because she kept asking when she would come home. Ever since she's been back she feels like I'm going to leave her everywhere we go. Even at my mother in law's house if I am not in the living room sitting she thinks I'm getting ready to leave. Maybe your daughter just needs reassurance that you will be there to pick her up and you won't just leave her. I think with my daughter it was simply too soon to be on her own for a week. Hope it all gets better for you and your daughter since I know how it feels to have to leave her and worry all day thinking if she's ok. Be patient and talk to her maybe a little each night to prepare her for the next day will help. Hope all goes well.

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

I bet you are exhausted. This must be a strain on the entire house. Trust your gut. If you truly think this is extreme (and it sure sounds that way), then I think you have not found the right therapist. Keep trying!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.D.

answers from Dallas on

Have you spoken to your pediatrician? What you describe does sound extreme, and it might be time for medical intervention. You should probably speak to your pediatrician and get a recommendation for child psychologist in your area. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from Dallas on

It sounds like she may have sensory issues and may need some behavioral therapy. I have 2 friends with kids in therapy and they're doing well. If you'd like some names of doctors to evaluate her, please e-mail me. Also, have you tried any supplements? My 6 y/o son was having some major rages and anger outbursts, problems with impulse control, sensory, etc. He seems to have the beginnings of a type of ADD called "ring of fire" and the behavior is as it sounds. I've placed him on some specific natural amino acids and his whole personality has changed! Again, e-mail me if you want the specifics. If "western" medicine isn't working, maybe you should try some alternatives? Check out NAET treatments at www.acmhealthsolutions.com. Good Luck!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.A.

answers from Dallas on

It sounds alot like RAD Reactive Attachment Disorder. I can't be sure, but my daughter was diagnosed with this and also Bi-Polar. They are not for sure, but the symtoms you are describing are alot like my daughter. It's extreme and often time relentless. I feel for you and you are not alone. I feel like I am alone alot, but I hope I can meet some people like me at some point to share some these experiences. Well take care and I hope you find some relief soon. Angella P

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.R.

answers from Dallas on

Has she been assessed by a child psychiatrist? It may be good to rule out bipolar disorder or oppositional defiant dissorder. Dr. Nancy Shoshid is very good, but I don't have her number.
I can tell you feel this is beyond parenting and I belive us mothers are usually right. I wish you all the luck in the world so you and your little girl find a good course of action that will make them you both feel happier.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.K.

answers from Dallas on

Hi V., my name is C., & i have a few suggestions, hope they help! I know you said that you watch what she eats but are you aware of what red dye can do? I was having similar problems with my son & completly took out red dye which is in most food, but it helped tremendously, it was an amazing change even my family noticed, also make sure she is on a great vitamin, & that she is taking a brain vitamin as well. The brain vitamins I put my son on are the brainiums made by nutrilite, they have two flavors & they are chewables, you can go to www.eei.mychoices.biz if you want the same as what im using & you can go to www.nutrilite.com to research them. Changing those to things for my son did wonders & now we don't have those problems anymore, he wasn't as determined as your daughter but it really did work!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.T.

answers from Dallas on

Have you had her tested for food allergies? I have a friend whose son behaves very similarly when he has eaten something he is allergic to. My friend is now VERY careful that he doesn't eat something that he is allergic to. I also have food allergies and find that corn especially (and corn is in everything - corn syrup, corn starch etc) affects me emotionally. I have to really make sure I don't eat corn or my husband suffers ;)
Blessings to you! May God provide you with the answers to help your daughter. May she live a joyful life.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Dallas on

Get the book The Gut and Psychology Syndrome. You have to order it on the Internet.

After reading that book, consider a phone consultation with nutritionist Andrea Stevens. Her website is www.healthbasics.net. Her email is ____@____.com FANTASTIC with problems like this.

Also consider reading at www.parentswithpurpose.com .

I think there are things you can do to help her.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches