Extremely Frustrated?!?!?!?!.....

I say put the dog on a leash and let him go outside until he shows you that he can behave.
I am a dog lover, and I owned a chiuha and she never listened to me. In fact I think she hated me. I would treat her like I would a child that didnt listen. There were certain times that I would and wouldnt let her outside. She loved to sun bathe but when I noticed that she had already used the bathroom and was using the extra time as her time to sunbathe, I would make her come inside of the house.
Now that I have shared my own experiences I say put dog on a leash and let her go outside. If she is on the leash and you have to run at least you can run fst enough to catch the leash. Let me know how things go.

Hi A.,

How about taking him to be trained at a school. He probably needs some discipline or he may just be a playful puppy. Either way, the training can only help.

I feel your pain!!!!!!!My husband and I have 4 children, and when we bought our first house back in April, my husband decided a couple months later that we needed a dog.
Not just any dog....a puppy! Full-bred golden retriever. She's an absolutely beatiful dog, but we've had nothing but problems since we got her.
My husband did not do the proper research when searching for a breeder, and the woman we got her from was just out to make a buck. A month after we got the dog, we found out at her vet visit that she had hip displaysia. The breeder told us that her parents had been checked. None the less, $1,300 later, the dog's hips were fixed.
I'm home with the dog all day (along with my 4 and a half and almost 1 year old.), feeding her, taking her out, and dealing with her chewing EVERYTHING!!!
She is afraid of everything!!! Any strange/loud noises, different smells, and if my husband has his work truck parked at the cellar door, forget about getting her down the back stairs!
I'm also still having a huge problem with her biting the kids and jumping on them. Yesterday she jumped up on my 9 year old and gave him a huge scratch on his face.
She has chewed huge holes in our brand new carpets in the living room, leaving us no option but to replace the carpets AGAIN!
I'm ready to tear my hair out!!!I'm an animal lover, and don't want to admit defeat, but I just can't deal with a puppy (and 4 kids, a cat and a bird) anymore!!!!
I hope things get better with your dog too!! Who cares if this isn't your typical Momsource entry....Pets are just like having children!!!!!

Howdy! How are ya today? First, is the dog emotionally attached to your husband? If he is he could be resenting the fact he doesn't get as much play time with your husband as he feels he should. My dog suffers from the same mental affliction. Most of the time he is known here as "Dumb Dog!" Dogs are naturally "pack" animals. You, as the Alpha female in the house, need to pin him by his throat (do not squeeze his airway, just hold him firmly) while he's on his back and keep holding him till he is still and quiet for about 2-3 minutes, then slowly release him. Another thing to do is try the stare down. You are the dominant one and he should not stare you in the eyes if he acknowledges your dominance. Stare him in the eyes till HE looks away, make him acknowledge your dominance. From the sounds of it he acknowledges your husband as the alpha male and he assumes he is next in command. This may all sound wierd but it works. You might have to repeat daily till he concedes but it will make your life in dealing with him MUCH easier. If all else fails, try obedience training. I hope this helps.

From one firefighter's wife to another ;-) Hi! *waves*

Ok, this might sound crazy, but first of all, stop chasing your dog. Your dog thinks that is a game, and it's *LOADS* of fun to him. Stand at the door or wherever is most neutral, bring some treats with you, and calmly ignore as best as you can any running around. Reward him with treats and lots of praise the moment he comes to you. Right now, you are rewarding him by running all over the place trying to capture him.

If this does not seem like the right choice (maybe your yard is not fenced in, or only partially so, or whatever), then just revert back to "puppy training" and get him on a leash before you take him out there. Reward him for doing his "business" and then again when he comes back into his house.

Your dog isn't trying to be "bad". He may be bored, or responding to stress in the house, or any number of things. It may simply be that he discovered this fun game. Whatever it is, it's important to avoid rewarding the behavior (such as by reacting to it), and very helpful to reshape what he does by offering rewards and praise when he does good stuff. There are lots of helpful dog advice sites out there; you may want to search a little.

In addition to having a firefighter hubby, I also have a dog who *used to* cause us a trememndous amount of stress - had horrible separation anxiety, ate our furniture (really, not kidding), prized possesions, etc. and would run away (we have a small yard with no fence, so she'd get off her tether), and now, after some time and a TON of patience (sometimes I look at her and tell her exactly how lucky she is to be alive today, lol), she is ALMOST the dog we'd like her to be ;-) But we love her!

I can support you! My husband is also a firefighter....and we have a dog which is his total choice NOT MINE! Sooo there are days when he is gone that I could just open the door and let the dog goooo....Ok not really but I feel your pain! Where are you from? Is your dh a career ff?

I went through the same thing .. I have a 2yr old, and a 3yr old Border Collie. At first he wanted nothing to do with her, but now they are best friends. Before he was my shadow, now he wont leave her side.. To the point, I was stepping over him to help the baby. He was very well trained before I has my daughter. I know personally once she was born I didnt stick with all the same rules as before with my dog. Once she got old enough to sit at the table and eat, wouldnt you guess, I had a begging dog. She would feed him constently. Drove me batty. He is so obsessed with with my daughter, She would have to go out side with him, So he could go potty. it was getting insane.

Anyways to get to the point.. About 4 months ago, I broke down and was thinking of the same thing. Finding my dog a new home. This would have been the FIRST animal I ever gave away. (he was born almost blind & deaf, so would be hard to place) I just couldnt do it.. and decided to figure out what I could do to stop this crazyness. I found a trainer. We went through 6 weeks of basic training. It reinforced his old "Good" behaviors and now I have back my very mellow, well behaved dog.

I have to say, its part my fault, my daughters fault & my dogs fault it got so bad. There were no boundries at all anymore. Now since training.. I can walk away from the table and not worry he will take food from her hand again.. And she is old enough now to know she cant feed him. It worked wonders.

I hope this helps alittle.. Those 6 weeks of training gave me back my happy calm home, and my good dog. I wish you luck.. I know what its like with a out of control dog!

I feel the same way!
We have 2 very cute pugs. They were here well before the baby - good practice, or so we thought. They didn't drive me crazy before we had the baby but lately they have been driving me nuts!! Always under my feet, barking at everything and sniffing Jack's (my son's) face whenever I turn around. They are sweet and I think they are just trying to get attention but sometimes (OK, more like once a day) I just can't stand having them around. I do love them and we'll keep them forever but I think it's just alot of work, on top of having a baby. We even tried putting one of the dogs on Paxil (yeah, didn't make a bit of difference). Hang in there, we all feel your pain. Just look into your dogs eyes and you will remember why you loved them in the first place.

I am in the SAME boat as you right now! This morning I woke up and went downstairs to make some formula for my baby and my 2 dogs had it OPEN and EATEN on the kitchen floor, I was livid! The dogs aren't getting the attention they need, they LIVE in the kitchen to keep them out of mischief since they chew up everything in the house, and still they are nuisances. I just don't have the time to train them more efficiently or give them the attention they deserve right now. They poop all over the back yard cause noone has the time to walk them, we can't even USE our own back yard cause of the poo situation... I told husband this morning it's THEM or ME! I can't live like this anymore, we have GOT to find a nice new home for them with people that DO have the time and patience to deal with them, it's definitely not ME! I love the dogs, I do, but it's no fair to either them OR me to let life go on this way. If you feel the same way, just do it. Your life will be more peaceful, you don't need to worry about a dog not listening, you got enough to do! I do, too. I've actually thought about putting an ad in the paper to find them good homes and just doing it without husband's consent, that's the point I'm getting to now. But he'd hear the answering machine or they'd call while he's home with my luck. He insisted he'd take better care of them, walk them, clean up poo, help keep things off kitchen counters, etc., but he hasn't to date, why would he start now? I don't believe him, he just wants to say whatever he has to to get me to change my mind. THis time, I won't. I've had it. I've lost enough things to the dogs chewing to want to endure it any longer!!! Good luck to you, I know how aggrevating it is!

Is your yard fenced in, if so just let him stay out. If not, get some rope, and make a dog run. Buy some clips, tie them to the end of the rope (just make sure he can't reach the road) and clip one end to something sturdy (around deck railing or something). Then you clip the other end to his collar and let him go. This way you can put him out and don't have to watch him. And if you call and he doesn't come you can just real him in.

Hi A.,
First off what is the age of the dog? We recently took in a dog that had been crated most of her life, she knew nothing of discipline. When we got her she was almost a year old and she acted like a small puppy. Time and patience has transformed her into a whole different animal. She has almost stoped chewing everything in the house and does now come back when called. The trick to comming back with her was to let her run and show her that when she came back she wasn't immediatly put inside.

I wish you all the luck ,I understand what you are going through. Been there , done that ...lol P.

People have had lots of good suggestions on training the dog, if that doesn't work you could give him away to a good home, and don't feel guilty about it. But I just wonder where all the frustration is coming from over the dog, did you get the dog to keep you company and are frustrated because lately the dog hasn't been good company or filled that empty spot you thought he would? what is making you so angry? Stop and think about how it makes you feel, out of control, frustrated, like you are not being heard and see if there is some connection to having these feelings somewhere else in your life right now that the episode each day with the dog just triggers these emotions. Maybe you are having troubles with your husband being away so much, and the dog issues just come out of that frustration. I know when my kids used to argue, it made me really upset, and when I stopped to think about it, i realized it triggered fears from my childhood when my parents used to fight all the time. So sometimes there are underlying issues that make us get upset over things that really shouldn't bother us as much as they do, they just trigger some deep emotions and we need to find out why.

or maybe it just is the dog. but stop and think about it anyway. feel free to drop me a line if you feel like talking. wishing you all the best. God bless...

There are so many variables with this situation that I'm not sure of. Did you get the dog as a puppy? How old is the dog now? Do you have a fenced in yard so he runs free in it? If so, maybe you should consider chaining him up instead. It'd be much easier to get him back into house when you're ready that way... just grab the chain and reel him in. :) Have you looked into local dog obedience classes? I know that PetSmart has them and, if I recall, they're fairly inexpensive. When he's in the house, does he come when called? If not, maybe that's something you can work on inside with a leash. I'm sure a class would teach you leash training (probably using treats and possibly a choke chain). I would try a variety of different possible solutions before getting rid of him. The dog I have now is a rescue and she's just such an excellent, amazing dog. However, we had a different dog we got through rescue that was a mess! We tried everything - I had a trainer that came to the house, we put invisible fencing all around our house, we trained indoors with a remote shock-training collar, etc., etc. Nothing we did fixed the many, many problems with this dog though. Eventually we did have to give him back to the rescue (when he started nipping my kids was the final straw), but at least we knew we tried everything we possibly could first. So, when I did relinquish him, I did it without feeling any guilt. I think you have to exhaust all your options first and see if your dog is trainable. Do whatever you can within your means and then if you still can't handle him, then you can give him up without feeling awful about it.

Best of luck to you!

Hello,
I agree there has been alot of good advice. I would like to add my own. We have an 11 month old lab/shepard mix who weighs about 80lbs. He likes to chew on everything. If there is something on the floor he thinks its his. During the summer I kept the back door open so he could come and go as he pleased. Well he would grab something and run outside with it. And of course if we chased him he thought it was a game.
So we stopped chasing him and closed the door. We also make sure that there is nothing on the floor or in his reach. We give him plenty of chew toys also. We also crate train him. When he was younger we put him in the crate when we went out or when we couldn't spend time watching him. Soon he could be left in the kitchen while we were home. After that he was weaned into the living room when we are in there. Now he can stay in the kitchen when we are not home. He is still crated at night but we are starting to wean him out of it. The important thing about crate training is to not use the crate as punishment. That is his space and he needs to feel comfortable in it. When it is time for bed he walks right into his crate. My daughter found a great book on puppy training "I just got a puppy what do I do?/by Mordecai Siegal & Matthew Margolis". You may be able to find it on Ebay. The most important thing I found in there is that it is not the puppy's problem, its a people problem. He is just being a puppy. The owner needs to train him how to behave appropriately in a human enviornment. I was at a point when I couldn't take our dogs behavior. We were considering finding him a home but then I changed my attitude and behavior and now he is much better. Dogs are lot of work and you need to make the time to train them in order to have the relationship you want with them. I wish you lots of luck!

You did not mention the breed of your dog. I supposed that sometimes the nature of the breed makes a big difference, and it is possible that perhaps your dog is not a good fit for the family. Nevertheless, I also highly recommend <<doggie school.>> I took my yellow lab (HighLY recommend this breed especially with young children) to three semesters at Bill Payne's School of Obedience and we really had a great time. I'm not a totally disciplinarian type of person myself so somethings I never really followed thru with, but the experience was invaluable. I also bought a radio fence (it is an invisible fence that uses radio waves instead of underground wire) which was also invaluable. The Radiofence is not perfect but it is a lot less expensive that the underground type and it keeps the dog in the yard. It was my college age daughter who brought this dog (and also other cats) into our lives, and my four other kids were older at the time. The first three years I have to say were like having another baby in the house. She is much better now at 6.5 years. I can walk her around the neighborhood without a leash now and she is pretty well behaved. However once in a while (LIKE A KID) she'll do things like getting into the trash, that really irritate me. This week after Three years of not doing this, she chewed my back car seatbelt!! Those are expensive to replace, and in her life time I have already replaced at least four of them I think she was upset about being left in the car too long while we did some errands. She usually loves to go out on errands because she hates being away from us. At any rate a dog and/or cat can bring so much love and understanding to children. My kids are not living at home now, but she (and even the cats) are great company to my husband and me.She gets our morning paper for us despite the weather. We love it! We always give her lots of love, and that too is important. She sleeps with us and follows us whereever we are. The crate did not work for us. My daughter thinks it is because she spent her first three months in a cage at a pet shop. One more thing, we found out she is addicted to those laser pointer beams. Why we can't figure out, but I bring one on our walks and if she doesn't listen to me I just yell, DOTS! and she comes bounding back. Just don't point it in the eyes. I get them for $1 and Mr. Dollar. Best of luck. I think you can live thru this and make it a good experience for all of you.

Well I know exactly what you mean about being a firefighter's wife. My husband is a firefighter and is never home. I stay at home too and have taken on so many responsibilities. I also have a dog and when I first had my children, she drove me crazy. She was a love sick, attention craving mess! She took off all the time and always at the wrong times, during snowstorms, in the middle of the night! We used to tie Maddie up but she would break from her run or she would howl all day to get attention and god forbid I just let her out! The best thing we ever did was buy one of those electric collars that will keep her in the yard. I think we bought it at home depot. It changed my life. I know it sounds crazy but now I can just let her out in the morning and at night and not worry one bit. She is happier too because she can roam around the yard without me screaming at her! She is pretty mellow theses days at 7 yrs old but she would still wander without the collar and I certainly dont want her to be hit by a car. Good luck.