Father and Child Activities Together

My husband used to take the boys to the Home Depot Kids Workshops. He take them fishing and boating, kite flying and to the movies. My husband spends time with the boys, but isn't much into outings or crowds, so I am the one who takes them on most of the outings.

A LOT of sports!
They do baseball, throwing the football, golf, shooting hoops...
Hikes as well.
Attending sports (Go Pirates, Pens and Steelers!)
Inside stuff: collecting baseball cards, coins, Kinnect Golf, etc.

You know.....the one thing I loved so much about my dad was that he was so different than my mother.

My mom sewed all my dresses, made me sleep with pink rollers in my hair and was very proper about things.
My dad took me fishing and let me get dirty. He taught me to work on cars. I was like a surgeon's assistant handing him his wrenches and I knew all the sizes of his sockets. I learned to hold the flashlights in just the right spot.

I'm all about culture and museums and things. I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area so I was exposed to many, many things.
It was the simple things I remember most about my dad, God rest him. He had a wonderful sense of humor and we could do yard work together and have a blast. He was always the one who stayed by my side when I was sick. He would stay up with me late at night on the weekends and watch "Creature Feature" with me. The showed old, actually pretty horrible scary movies which didn't really scare me at all.

Dads have different ways with their kids.
I think that sometimes moms just have to relax, let it happen, and not interfere too much. I, personally, think it's really great for a kid to get the best of both from each parent and frankly, you never know what the child finds to be special and important in it's own way.

I don't think you should interfere too much. Your husband loves to read? That can't hurt your son. He will pick up a love of it too.
Don't put pressure for them to DO, DO, DO all the time. Let them work it out for themselves. I have a son. His relationship with his dad is way different than his relationship with me. As it should be.

Just my opinion and no offense.

Kids love spending time with daddy at this age. It doesn't really matter what they do, just being together is enough. Even going to Home Depot or Costco is an adventure :-)
I think going to play places and parks and playing video games is awesome if they are both enjoying it. There's no need to micromanage how they spend their time together, let it evolve!

I'd say this: be wary of being too directive with your husband or he could become resentful that you aren't letting them have their own relationship. I wouldn't worry about the couch potato aspect unless your husband is mostly spending time on video games.

With media, make limits which you both agree to as parents, and ask him to stay relatively within those limits when they play video games. But remember, dads need to be able to call the shots when they are spending time with their sons.

My husband loves to do many of the same things with our son, who's almost 6. Legos, parks, accompanying him on scoot-bike walks around the neighborhood, building with blocks (one of my favorites too) and sometimes trips to the zoo (we have a membership) or the nickel arcade. They also have some fabulous pretend 'duels' with light saber-type toys or take pump rockets and other foam projectiles to the park and have a great time together.

I think it's important that it's fun for both of them. I am more the 'let's do some painting/drawing/playdough/cooking/gardening' person... remember, parents balance each other out. While we both enjoy spending time reading to our son, most of the other activities (besides walking) are often done by one or the other of us. Frankly, if my husband told me to play Legos with my son, I'd want to throw one at his head. I'm sick to death of Legos... that can be *their* thing!

My DH will take DD in the bike trailer and go for a ride, and they stop at a park. DD would love to do that every day. You could suggest that your DH take your son to the Home Depot kid builder workshops (free, first Saturday of the month from 9-12). But, honestly, if the parks and whatnot work for them, let it be their thing. Is there a problem with the activities he chooses? He's spending time with the kid, even if it's not the way you would spend time. My DH and I have different things we do with DD and always have. Even the way we run baths is different. I read books. He plays "Bad Ducks". If you don't want a couch potato, then you can take him out for a walk or a bike ride or whatever. You can always ask DH to join both of you.

I'm currently in a Bachelor's degree program so dad has taken it upon himself to keep the kids busy on Sundays so I can have uninterrupted schoolwork time. He's taken them bowling and they loved it so I signed them up for the free summer bowling program through Mrs. Obama's initiative http://www.kidsbowlfree.com/.
He has also taken them in the back yard for target practice/archery, made sheet forts and read to them using flashlights, taken them to the library, rode go carts, and gave them cooking lessons.
I've had to give him ideas once or twice, but he tries to come up with things on his own.

not much focus on hobbies at this age (5). But if this is just about time together, daddy takes her shopping at target or Walmart, out to dinner or frozen yogurt. At the house we garden together.
My dad builds little models with his grandson and they fly radio control airplanes together.
What age is your son?

ugh my husband would die if he had to go to an organized play area.
i would die as well.
he is a nature kind of guy so he will take the fishing, or hiking, or biking. i am not a nature girl so i do biking with them on concrete, they ride their biles i walk the dog, or i ride my bike. we take them to parks sometimes but the backyard is just as fun. so i would just tell him any time he spends with him one on one is great. no need to have plans. kids don't care about plans, they just want to run around and be silly.
as for hobbies, i taught my kids how to play chess. that way i get a kick out of it and so do they.

My dad did a lot with us: bike rides, playing sports, bowling, zoo, etc. You know what I remember most: helping him fix the 1978 Ford Fairmont. I don't know how much "fixing" we did, but we talked and hung out for hours. It's not about what they do, it's about the time together.

When my husband talks about his childhood with his father, he talks about the Redskins football games they used to watch on TV. Hours spent on the couch meant hours spent together.

My husband decides what he does with our kids when it's his daddy time. I stay out of it. It's special for them. My daughter won't even let me take her to Chuck E Cheese because that is her and daddy's place.

My husband and son use to love to go to fire station open houses and look at all the fire trucks.
We even visited fire stations when we went on vacation.
We got our son his own tool belt when he was 3, and he was Daddy's little helper.
I've got great pictures of Dad and Son putting together his tricycle and wagon.

How old is your child?

Depending on how old the child is, the child can ALSO tell Daddy what he wants to do.

I have a boy and girl. 6 and 10.
My Husband routinely comes up with things to do with them.
Mainly, because his parents did nothing... with him.
He is from a culture, in which kids were seen not heard... and adults did their own thing. Kids were just satellites in the midst, but not focused on.

I feel your pain in terms of wishing your husband could be more creative about one-on-one time with your child. I gently suggest ideas from time to time, like "how about making Wednesdays "Chess Night"? So he teaches her chess for 45 mins. The one thing they do all the time that my daughter loves, is pick up take-out (usually at the same Chinese restaurant, which is now "their" restaurant) and head to the lake for a picnic. Even in snowy weather!

Does your son have fun with his Dad? Is your husband happy doing those "same things" with your son? If the answer is yes, then I wouldn't worry.

My husband and I have completely different "activity styles." My husband is a scientist who teaches the natural sciences to college students. He's all about the field trips, museum visits, and zoo trips with our son. He's also the go-to-the-playground parent. And he's quite spontaneous. I'm an urban planner. I do stuff with my son that's more about going about-and-about in our community, getting to know our neighborhood, and making playdates with friends. I like visiting playgrounds to take notes on public spaces but not to play in them :) I also research and schedule activities in advance.

Also, I have noticed that our son has different expectations for a day with Dad than a day with Mom. So, I think our different "activity styles" keep things interesting for everyone. Sounds like you've got some nice energy going on in your family.

I don't think you need to get involved with planning activities for him. Hubby should be an equal parent, so if he wouldn't plan playtime and activities for you and kiddo, don't do the same for him. His favorite activity is reading? AWESOME! He can read to kiddo, how wonderful.
I never had to suggest to my husband what to do with our kids (now teenagers). Husband was always a coparent with equal responsibilty for the kids. He did regular things with them. Since he spent a lot of time with them, it wasn't all playtime - it was running errands, taking care of the yard, etc - as well as reading together, playing toys, playing in the yard, going to the park, bike riding or whatever else.
Let hubby and son manage their own relationship. If your son is tiny, as he gets older, he'll form his own interests and hopefully Dad will involve himself in what kiddo likes to do.

I know you are trying to help, but I think you need to let them find their "thing" together and not let their activities be set up by you. If you want him/them to be more active than that is what you could all do together as a family or when you do activities with your son.

My husband spends most of his time with our kids practicing whatever sports they are involved in at the time--it's outside and it's active and they practice a couple times a week (in addition to regular team practice). They gain skills but he makes it fun too. They go to movies together or just run errands like the hardware store or whatever. When my son was in Boy Scouts for a couple years, my husband did whatever needed to be done for that--helping him earn badges, pinewood derby cars, camping. Other than that, we do a lot of things together as a family.

So just find what your son is naturally interested in and have his dad actively support him in those activities.