Feeding a Child of % Years

Updated on July 25, 2011
C.K. asks from Royal Oak, MI
35 answers

I babysit my grandson, who just turned 5 years old, for 5 1/2 hours every day but my daughter only allows him to have water during this time. He is always telling me how hungry he is; is this healthy? After reading many of your answers to my question I have more to add. My daughter is anorexic and very controlling, where as, I am overweight and very laid back. She has seen me struggle with my weight for years. This, however, does not cloud my judgement on how I feed my grandson. For lunch almost every day he gets a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat bread from his father. That is about noon, of which he would eat maybe half and the rest would be thrown out. At 1:30 I would get him and usually somewhere between 2pm and 3pm I would give him a snack of fresh fruit and veggies. He is only allowed to have water, no juices or pop or milk when he is with me and that is fine. My daughter picks him up between 5:45 and 6:00pm every night after work. Now there is the odd time when he might have a cookie or a brownie but this is rare. When this happens all heck breaks loose from my daughter. My feeling is that she has a fear of him being overweight as he gets older - he is not now. This child is a very active child and when he is with me we spend most of our time outside having sword fights, water fights, playing super heroes and hide and seek. He is always active. Since she feels that I am overfeeding him she has now taken him away and doesn't allow me to see him until I will conform to her demands of water only.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

I lost my grandson.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B..

answers from Dallas on

*IF* this question is real, that's called neglect. Not only by the mother, but you...for not feeding the child some freaking food.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from Bloomington on

Daycares typically provide breakfast, a morning snack (around 9), lunch (11:30-noonish) and then an afternoon snack around 3. That's not counting supper at home.

They run according to Child Protective Services (or at least in IL)... So do what you feel best!!

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Are you for real? If so, NO that is not healthy. Feed him anyway. She should be reported to CPS.

7 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

The trolls are out early for the weekend.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Puh-leeze. This is a troll. First question, never answered anything else.

Lady - find something better to do with your time than waste ours.

5 moms found this helpful

M.P.

answers from Sacramento on

once again......

you can't be serious.........

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.G.

answers from Boston on

Yeah this has to be a fake one

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.W.

answers from Phoenix on

No that isnt healthy. Feed him. If she doesnt like it call CPS.

5 moms found this helpful

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I say feed him AND call protective services. She needs an education.

4 moms found this helpful

D.M.

answers from Rapid City on

I don't know what hours you watch him but you should feed him yes. If it's in between meals (but doesn't sound that way) then give him a snack. Kids should have snacks! Heck, I still eat snacks!
Honestly, who posts a question like this? Not be be a b**ch but this should be common sense.
EDIT: How did you lose your son? as in visitation or worse?

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I would find out why she only wants him to have water. Is she not comfortable with the foods you have? What times is he there? It does seem that the 5 1/2 hours should include a meal and even a snack at some point. I would be concerned about his blood sugar level. Is he obese? Is she concerned that he will eat junk or not eat his meals that she feeds him? It seems like more info is needed.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.F.

answers from Fargo on

No, it's not healthy. I generally think that parents should get the final say on how their child is cared for but this isn't "care" it's neglect of a child's basic needs.
Feed your grandson and if your daughter fusses, she can pay for daycare. They'll feed him there too and your daughter won't be able to deny him what he needs to grow.

Your daughter is wrong. It's okay, give him good healthy foods and let that poor lil' guy grow!

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I don't agree with it, but many parents are very strict about the whole 3 meals a day/ food only at those mealtimes. Typically those hours are 6am, noon, 6pm. If she's one of those people and her son has lunch before coming over, then she picks up at 530 and they have dinner at 6pm, I can see it. I don't agree with it, but I can see it.

Same token, I know many kids with severe medical dietary issues (allergies, inability to process certain nutrients, GI problems, etc.)... their parents are *very* strict about what they eat.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

In child care children are required to have food every 3 hours minimum whether that food is a meal or a snack. For instance if you serve breakfast then you don't have to offer a morning snack. But lunch has to be 3 hours or less from the end of breakfast. An afternoon snack has to be less than 3 hours after lunch. If you keep kids after it has been 3 hours after the afternoon snack you have to serve another snack or meal to them too.

My feeding schedule at the center:

Breakfast served until 7:45 am
Morning snack, fruit or some brunch food with 100% juice, a light snack
Lunch starts around 11am for the babies and toddlers, the rest follow
After nap time, around 2:30 or 3, a good substantial snack is served, with carbs, protein, and juice. A mini meal.
If kids stay after 5:30 they get a very small light snack so they will still eat dinner. Maybe a half serving of fruit, or a half sandwich. Something to just tide them over for the trip home and while mom and dad are cooking.

Their bodies are not like adults, they are constantly growing and need a semi constant source of nutrition.

I think she doesn't like the food choices you offer him or she is just being controlling. I'd sit down and have a frank discussion with her.

If she really doesn't like the foods you have in your home ask her to bring something.

If he is not eating food at mealtime due to having had too much to eat beforehand then she might consider allowing him to have several smaller meals through the day.

If she is just being unreasonable call child welfare on her. If it is a valid concern then maybe you can understand her limitations and support her. Sometimes hearing the same thing mom is saying from a different adult has more impact...for instance if she is having problems getting him to eat if he has an afternoon snack then you could say to him when he asks for food "Your mom said you are having dinner when you get home, what are you eating? That sounds like a yummy meal, I bet you will be so hungry you'll eat it up". That way he is hearing that you heard him when he told you he was hungry, he heard you say he is going to get food soon, he heard you say the same thing mom said, he needs to eat at mealtime, etc...it is offering her support in a positive way.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Well, she's obviously NOT Italian, because we feed people even when they're NOT hungry. WTH? Who does not feed a child when he/she is hungry? Kids that age need 3 meals per day AND 2 snacks...maybe another light snack before bed or at least milk.

Is there some medical issue? Psychological issue with him?

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from St. Louis on

I don't think so. He should be fed at least a meal and maybe even a snack during that time...Definitely more than water....Poor baby : (

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.

answers from Augusta on

No it's not healthy , feed him , and tell your daughter she's wrong.
if she dosen't stop this rediculus thing report her,

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.L.

answers from Norfolk on

Heck...why don't she just leave him in a kennel in the laundry room while she is gone!

2 moms found this helpful

M.P.

answers from Provo on

5 1/2 HOURS??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
NOooooooo! I would give him snacks or something. That is truly awful of her to think he could go over 4 hours worth of not eating.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

I can't imagine my kids going that long without food. But before feeding him anything I would simply ask your daughter what her reasons are. Maybe she has a good one you're not aware of? Go from there.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from Seattle on

That is craziness. If the child is hungry feed him. At least a snack! What are your grandma instincts telling you? I really hope that he is getting enough food at home.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from New York on

The healthiest way to eat is to have several small meals a day. You actually wind up eating less overall and your blood sugar levels remain constant. I would discuss it with her, there may be a specific reason.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Detroit on

What do you mean by you "lost your grandson?" His mom is not letting you see him anymore, or he's been taken away from her?

If he is still at home with her, I seriously would call child protective services - I know she's the mom and she is supposed to be able to make decisions as she sees fit, but she really sounds like she is being unreasonable. She may have some irrational fears about him being overweight but if she has eating issues herself, she does not have a healthy perspective on what her child should be eating or should look like. I would never withhold food from my daughter if she needed a snack and she had healthy choices, like some grapes or carrot sticks. Even a cookie or a brownie once in a while is not the end of the world.

If you get this message, please update us as to what is going on. Thanks.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.T.

answers from Detroit on

Seriously??? Almost 6 hours without food??? That is just wrong! Kids exert energy and need food to refuel and replenish their system. Reads like your daughter has, or has had, and issue with food and is putting her problem on her child. I would take matters into my own hands and feed the boy a healthy meal/snack when he is hungry.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Detroit on

THAT is crazy! Have you asked her why? Is she afraid she will be imposing on you to feed him during the time you care for him? Is she doing some sort of wierd cleanse on a 5 year-old? Or maybe she has some fear he will become obese like so many kids are these days. Certainly our government has done a number on us .....if kids ate the RIGHT foods this won't happen. I think that this is hedging on asking you to neglect his needs. I would feed him anyway, ask questions later.....and be sure to ask her. AND what is this about % of age? What will he be eating when he is oh...say...24...NOTHING? Even at 10, not eating for 10 hours, for a growing child IS neglectful and abusive!

1 mom found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

I would say it depends on the timing (if you watch him during bedtime hours, it is reasonable). If he eats breakfast before you watch him and he eats lunch 5.5 hours later then there should be a small healthy snack in between. If he eats lunch and then you watch him, their should be a small snack in between but not so late as to ruin his dinner. It is reasonable to only want water in between and not constant snacking/eating.

I saw your update. Sounds like someone needs to talk to his doctor because eating lunch before you get him at 1:30 and not anything again until after 6 pm is too long for a 5yr old to go between meals without any snack. Kids need nourishment.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.T.

answers from Detroit on

First I'll ask: is he at risk of being overweight? Does he have food sensitivities? I have a child high on the weight charts who wants to eat every half-hour, but I suspect he's not getting enough water. I ask him to drink water before eating because it's healthier and because he has the tendency of mindless eating (parents are working on that too).
Having said that, 5.5 hours (plus travel time) does seem like a long time to go without some sort of snack...some carrots, or frozen grapes is a wonderful filler between meals that have healthy benefits.
Ask your daughter what she's thinking and try to come to an agreement (I don't think "sneaking food" is a healthy arrangement)....if he truly is hungry, he does need a supplement between meals.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.D.

answers from Detroit on

Sorry, but that sounds completely ridiculous. Who goes for 5 hours a day without eating something, especially a growing, active child. It doesn't sound healthy either. That's a long time to go without food. I would at least press for his getting healthy snacks such as fresh veggies or fresh fruit. Nothing but water sounds crazy!!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Austin on

And why does she say to only let him have water during this time? We need more information........

1 mom found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

No, that is not right. I give my kids breakfast, a small morning snack, lunch, a small afternoon snack, dinner and a little snack with bedtime stories! This means every 2.5 hours they are eating and drinking. They get milk with 2 of their meals too. I wonder why she does not want him to eat for so long? Is she worried he will not eat dinner? Does she not like your food choices? Can she bring a snack each day too? Poor kid!

1 mom found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Dallas on

You are a mother, did you let your daughter go this long without eating... However, have you asked her why she has this 5.5 hour with no food... He eats at noon and doesn't eat until dinner at 5:30 or something like that. Is he over weight and she's concerned for health reasons...

1 mom found this helpful

A.H.

answers from Portland on

He can't live on water. That IS unhealthy. Call CPS. He will starve to death with an anorexic mom pushing her anorexia on him. And the milkfat in milk plays a role in brain development.

Did he pass away or did he get taken from her? Your so what happened is very vague, but I am concerned that he may pass away or have brittle bones that will break when he plays sports, etc because she won't let him eat. That is cruel. She needs professional help.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from Detroit on

There has to be more to this story. It sounds wrong to me.

1 mom found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

I hope she will relent and allow you to babysit him again. Even though it is sad to think he cant have the occasional brownie or cookie maybe the compromise could be that you will promise (and keep your pormise) never give him a sweet, Only fruit and veggies and water. Then you'll know he's getting more food. Bananas are very filling my son would be fine snacking on different fruits between meals. How do you know that half his lunch is being thrown away if you're not there? Take comfort in knowing that If he was truly underfed he would be finishing that sandwich. If Dad is not annorexic than he should have a clearer view of whether the boy is eating healthy, what does he say? Ask if the boy is getting three or four servings of dairy to get his calcium? If not buy some calcium gummie vitamins. PLEASE update! thanks

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.W.

answers from Chicago on

It's a real shame that your daughter's eating disorder is keeping you from seeing your grandson. She's feeding her son, not herself, so why is she projecting her own perspective on to him? Oh, wait, I know...it's because she's a food addict, and addiction makes people insane! I hope it doesn't have to come to a teacher or a pediatrician noticing poor concentration or health for her to get what she's doing to her kid, but it might.

Good luck. I hope the situation works out for the best for all involved.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions