Feeling Down..Relationship Advice

I've never been a very jealous person, but when my husband and I got together I was certainly waiting for something bad to happen just because things were so perfect. My only advice would be that you need to work really hard at coming to the realization that it's out of your controll. If someone is going to cheat on you, they're going to do it weather you're worried about it or not. If he hasn't given you anything to worry about then just enjoy the relationship, and know that if things don't work out, as bad as it sucks, you will bounce back. Stressing out is going to get you nowhere except possibly pushing the good guys away. Good luck, and I hope this helps a little.

Find a sport, a cause, a hobby -- anything you do that makes you feel proud of yourself and like you are a real catch. When you feel awesome, you won't question his love of you.

Somebody poasted a link on here about "The Work" I highly reccomend you google it. I just glanced over it, but it seemd to be about accepting things as they really are and stopping the negative tape that plays in our heads. Really, so much of what we tell ourselves isn't true. I know for me, when it comes to jealousy, nothing could be as bad as my own imagination! I have to stop myself in my tracks and ask myself, what do we know? What are the facts? Fact - he didn't answer when I called. That doesn't mean that he is naked with the neighbor, it just means that he didn't answer when I called.

Girl, we have GOT to stop looking to GUYS to define our self worth. I don't know you, but we ALL have fantastic traits and GREAT things to give to the world, and yet we mope around waiting for some MAN to make us feel like we're worth something. Sigh, sorry, but this is like the third post TODAY where some fabulous woman/mom was using her MAN to determine whether she was a legit person or not.

If you need to, take a week, and write down each and every amazing thing you do/think/feel to remind yourself WHO YOU ARE, especially relating to motherhood and realize ANY guy is DAMN lucky to have a piece of that.

Remember that romantic relationships ENHANCE our lives, but are NOT our reason for living!

(Sorry, bout the rant)

:(

I understand a long distance relationshiph can be hard. Before getting married my husband and I lived 4 hours away from one another. My thoughts would tell me - if he can't see me he should want to call right??? Well, after growing up a little and looking back I realize - people have lives so they don't want to just be on the phone (this was before cell phones were so used - 9+ years ago).......So, I simply had to learn for myself and realize that if I kept pressing the issue he'd pull back - just as I do - if someone forces an issue or themselves on to me I want to retreat..........easier said than done.......I also realized I seemed a little more appealling when I wasn't the 'victim' of needing attention.
So, just because he may not pick up the phone every single time you call or text every time you text = think of this - he chose you as a girlfriend (just as you chose him as a boyfriend) so he's got to be interested right? Give him the room and chance to continue being interested............
Jealousy - especially when it's for no reason - can be devestating to a relationship - just think about what it is you are jealous of and why.

I hate it when women feel their identity is connected to whom they are with. Stand up and be strong! You are someone important and someone who matters in this world...with or without a man! You still have a life to lead. You are still a mom to someone, friend to someone, a sister or daughter, a co-worker, a neighbor to someone. You still have other people in your life to take care of and to take care of you.

If he calls back - great. If he doesn't - that's okay. You are still YOU no matter if he calls back or answers your text. You just have to figure out who YOU are!

Frankly, it doesn't sound like "things are too good to be true" for you. You have only been seeing this bf for 6 months and you are having problems. It sounds like you need to work on yourself before you can be with someone else. Try to get some counceling to see why you feel like you can't trust and have to call and text your bf all the time and then be upset when he doesn't immediately respond. You are right, the problem is probably your insecurity. And I give kuddos to your ex boyfriend for breaking up with you before dating the girl he works with. A lot of men would just drag you along. I hope you find something that will help you. Good luck.

You can't stop someone from cheating on you. Having said that you can drive them away by assuming the worst when it's not warranted. You're not jealous, you are mistrusting. There's a difference. You are assuming that when he's out-of-sight, then you are out-of-mind. That may not be the case.

When you find yourself freaking out, step back from the phone or computer and take a breath. Wait for him to call or text back and don't jump on him immediately and ask why he didn't call/text. He may say "I was in a meeting" or give you a reason... or he may (like most men), not attend to phone calls immediately.

Things are generally not "too good to be true". Either they are good or they are not good. If things are good, then relax and try to enjoy the relationship. If it feels like something is "off", then it probably is.

**Some people really cannot handle long-distance relationships. Be honest with yourself. If you are one of those people then be honest with him about that. Let him know that you want to talk to him each day and that it makes you feel assured. Don't, however, expect him to chat throughout the day with you... especially this early into a relationship!

Some people don't keep their cell phones on all the time. I know I don't, and my husband doesn't. Most of my friends don't either. We're spoiled these days because the internet is all about instant gratification and getting what we need immediately but the truth is, life doesn't actually work that way.

If you text him while he's at work, he can't text you back immediately.

If you text him while he's sleeping, he can't text you back immediately.

Do you really expect him to be thinking about you every single minute of the day? Is that honestly what you WANT? That would put things at a level of obsession that's not healthy. It's okay not to think about someone every second of the day. If you don't, that's not saying something horrible about the relationship.

You need to start thinking about the relationship in real time. And you need to trust your instincts. Trust his behavior and his attitude when you're together. When you start getting upset ask yourself if it's because of something he did or didn't do, or if it's because of something your ex did or didn't do.

Your insecurity is going to seep through and it's probably not as well under wraps as you think it is. Don't let this ruin your relationship.