Feeling Extremely Sad After Weaning My Baby After Long Term Nursing

Hi Y.,

Many women do continue to breastfeed when they're pregnant, and some tandem nurse after the new baby is born. If you really don't want to wean, get another opinion, preferably one who is familiar with breastfeeding. OB's don't have training in lactation.

If your daughter is used to nursing at bedtime, the easiest thing would be during these early days, for someone else to put her to bed. I see that your husband works long hours so I'd guess he is not an option but if you have a family member or babysitter who can take over in the evening for a few days, this may ease the transition for her. If she was still nursing during the day, wear clothing that isn't conducive to nursing and doesn't show your breasts.

One important thing is to replace the closeness of breastfeeding with plenty of other cuddle time.

It's normal to have feelings of loss or sadness when you wean your baby from the breast, whether it's unexpected or planned. The transition away from the breast is a transition for both mom and baby. Hugs to you and your daughter!

Your not alone, I felt extremely sad when I weaned my daughter at 14 months,,, in the end, I was just so simply amazed at her transition that I had to tell myself to focus on her accomplishment. It is so hard though, if you nurse your daughter a few more times either take a picture with a camera or a mental picture and store it in your heart forever! Best of Luck!

Hey - I don't normally respond but I am going through a similar thing - I just weaned my daughter and get very depressed for a few days. Not to be too medical but when you stop nursing, your hormones drop so I think that it is a common thing to feel depressed after weaning. Just hang in there - it should even out after a few days.

I weaned my first when I got pregnant with the second and the doctor told me to stop too. That was a good thing - when that other baby comes I can't imagine having a toddler who felt that she had to fight for access to nurse. Your daughter will just get bigger and better and interested in other things. My older daughter only stopped 6 months before having the second baby but really had almost no memory of nursing .

Weaning from nursing can cause depression similar to post-partum depression. Your hormones are all over the place, and you are also pregnant! It may get better with time, or you may consult your doctor for suggestions. Good luck with everthing!!

Hi, Y.!

Congratulations on nursing your sweet daughter for so long!! It's absolutely wonderful that she took so well to weaning, but I hear what an empty place that is leaving inside you!

Your feelings are totally, totally normal!! My son weaned when he was much, much older than your daughter, and I, too, had that feeling. It was never my intention to wean him. I intended to let him self-wean. But, I did a detoxification program and knew it would not be good for him to be nursing during that period. When I was done detoxing, he had forgotten how to latch on. I felt kind of bad and was a little upset with myself. I also felt in a small way that I had betrayed him somehow.

But, he was fine and I was fine. I had to develop new mommy skills since nursing was such a wonderful calming tool for both of us. And, that worked out beautifully, too.

I think if I had it to do over again, I would have put off the detox program until my son had really stopped nursing on his own. But, it is what it is, and he's a wonderful, healthy, compassionate, generous, sweet, independent, intelligent boy. So, I guess it's okay!

Best of luck to you, Y., as you enter this new, wonderful chapter with Sasha!!

Warmly,
Marji

I did not nurse as long as you, however when I became pregnant again with baby #2 while baby #1 was 6 months old my milk changed quite quickly. By the time my daughter was about 8 months she had just about weaned herself, and I was soo upset. I felt like she did not need me anymore, which I know is completely silly. Just know that someone else has been there and understands, it is a great bonding time, and it becomes a routine, and as we all know changes in routine can cause upset. It will get better for you, and it shouldn't take too long! I am sorry, I know how you feel, good luck!

hi Y., i weaned my son at 18 mos bcause i wanted to get pregnant again, but i didnt feel so horrible because i realized that he was ready to wean, i was the one always initiating it. he weaned right away, no problem. however, i was still nursing my daughter a LOT when i got pregnant with my 3rd, and she really loved it, and i felt just horrible about weaning her. my doc said i should, and i agreed, i didnt want to shortchange my baby at all. im older, maybe that has something to do with his recommendation, i know lots of women do nurse while pregnant. anyway, i was really depressed about it, but having the new baby growing inside of me was a great distraction. i was so thrilled to be pregnant again. i suggest you spend as much quality time with your daughter as you can and enjoy your pregnancy and know that you have done an awesome job. your kids are lucky to have such a dedicated mom. remember that you are giving her a new blessing now, a little brother or sister, that she will have forever :) best of luck to you.

My daughter was your daughter's age when I was expecting my 2nd child, and was not ready to wean -- with the support of our pediatrician and the lactation consultant at the ped. office, I nursed her through the pregnancy, morning and evening for a few months and then only at bedtime for the rest of the time - and then weaned her when she was more ready (the prospect of a party to celebrate being a big girl was what seemed to do it) which ended up being a couple of months after the baby was born. If you do end up weaning, give yourself time to grieve a bit - and know that your daughter will adjust probably faster than you will! And if you do decide to nurse a bit longer, find some supportive moms or a lactation consultant (or someone at the La Leche league) to help keep you going. Good luck - and with your pregnancy, too!

PS. I recommend the book Mothering Your Nursing Toddler from LLLeague as a great resource.

I only managed to nurse my son for ~7 months (I was the first person to ever request the need to pump at our agency, and proudly tucked myself in a storage closet twice a day)! Eventually my milk and or the pump began to slow... I was still nursing him at home, but could see the change as my son was losing interest.

Shortly after he would only turn to nuzzle, then drift off. He was weaning himself. I felt crushed for a few days, then realized this was a milestone to be PROUD of for HIM. Keep and embrace your daughter's milestones, and your heartache will make way for pride in her accomplishments.

Don't feel badly. I felt guilty when I weaned my son. I had the same feelings. Just know that you did a great thing for your child and she will be healthier because of it.