Feeling Lonely and Alone Since My Husband Went Back to School. Any Advice?

Get out of the house when you can. Take the kids to the $1 movie, go to the toddler library reading time, join a meet-up play group, go to the park. Join the ymca, you can work out while the kids get watched and are able to socialize, plus ymca has lots of activities too. Go to Chick-fil-A. they have family nights with activities for the kids every week.. I can't remember the day, but it's on their website. Take them to the mall play area.

It really helps getting out of the house :) And yes, I think it's safe to say that most stay at home homes feel this way a lot of the time.

My husband goes to school full time during the day and works 1 pm to 10 pm Monday through Friday. Weekends he is either studying, has drill duty for State Guard, or is mowing so we don't see him then, either. I had a really hard time with it the first year. I was lonely, in a new town, pregnant at first with a 2 year old and then with a two 1/2 year old and newborn. It was hard doing everything all by myself my morning until night...so I know exactly what you are going through :-)

Here is what I did...I joined a MOMS Club so I could meet other moms and have friends for me and my kids. I looked up fun, free activities to do around town. Chick-fila and the mall were my favorite places because of the inside play areas and I could find other moms to talk to. When my daughter turned 3 I enrolled her in preschool. I meet so many moms that way and I had a little 3 hour break 3 days a week (my son was still napping during that time). Finally, I embraced my alone time. My husband has completed two years of school and has 3 left. I finally realized that this is what he has to do if we ever want a better life. So, I make dinner, we eat, I bathe the kids, read a couple stories and then I have them in bed between 7 and 8. Then I plop myself on the couch and watch whatever I want to. I have peace and quiet and a great show on...it's super relaxing :-)

Feel free to PM me for any reason. Just out of curiosity, what is your husband majoring in?

Wow, your husband is extremely dedicated. That is so great! Unfortunately, it doesn't help you. And you have 4 more years of living like this - that is a really long time. I feel for you because I am also lonely during the day. However, because I have three small kids, I am always so busy. However, even though I am lonely, I really don't have time to socialize during the weekdays anyway. I have just accepted the fact that this is my life right now until my kids get older. However, your case is different b/c my husband is not in school. Here are my suggestions:
1) do you belong to a church? If so, socialize with women from church. Meet them for lunch (I guess you'd have to take your kids with unless you can enroll them in church daycare, which is very cheap)
2) Join your local Mom's club (I think the website is www.momsclub.org)
3) Join Mops (another type of moms club, but has a religious aspect to it)
4) Enroll your 2 year old in some sort of class - any kind of class, and try to befriend as many other moms at the class as you can
5) Call a close friend from where you used to live (or grew up) just to chat

I am so sorry you are going to have to deal w/ this for 4 more years. Best of luck to you.

I know he's busy - my husband is doing something similar. Do your best to help him take small breaks with you. Even if you can both watch tv together for 1/2 an hour before you go to bed, that will help.

Check with your local schools, churches, etc. re. moms groups. If there aren't any, you can start your own if you're a social person. You may be able to meet at the church or school, or you could meet at your home, or the local McDonalds or other restaurant with a play area.

If you can afford a sitter, take him lunch when he goes into the office and spend a little time there.

Good luck and take care!

I know how you feel. My husband is military so when he deploys all I get is the occasional phone call. You have to put yourself out there. Find groups you can go to, through the YMCA, a community center, a church, where ever. Are there any other stay at homes on your block? If so, chances are they feel the same to some degree, so plan a play lunch at your place and send out invites to the other moms to see if anyone would like to socialize.

Well, not exactly but my husband travels a fair amount. Try to find stuff to do with your kids: library, play areas, parks, etc. Sometimes just getting out of the house for half a day feels like a mini-vacation!
Keep your eye on the prize and keep counting those blessings that include an ambitious husband who is making plans for a better future and being able to spend these magic years with the kiddos!

try meetup.com to find some moms groups in your area. It is not free to have a group, but many of them are free to join or only up to $10 for the year.

I LOVE that I get to stay home with my daughter during the day, but there is no way that I could just sit home with her all day. Even if it's just 45 minutes at the park you need to get out of the house with those little ones.

Good luck finding some other mommies in your area to give you some adult interaction!

My husband did the same thing, school, work at the same time. Now that he is graduated I thought that I would see him more but no... He teaches full time days and tutors highschool students in the evening. I never see him either. We have 4 children, 13-5. I found the library to be a very valuable resource. The kids love to play there and you get to meet other mom's. Make sure you keep contact with the people back home, they kept me going for a long time until I adjusted to university life.

Now its my turn so its even worse, I am taking full time courses and working part time on top of his schedule so we really NEVER see each other. I study while the kids are at school and then I still have the evening with them. Eventually I will get my husband back. Maybe when the student loans are paid off...

Find a local MOPS group (mother of preschoolers.) It's usually hosted by the churches.

Go to your closest tot park in the morning hours and strike up conversations with other moms. Ask for phone numbers of those who have kids your age.

Put an ad on craigs list for your area- interest in starting a preschool playgroup with a few moms.

I had a friend in this situation.To help her feel less isolated, we went out to lunch at least once a month together. Our friendship grew and she didn't feel so lonely.

If you can find a friend to do this with, it might help.

My husband did the exact same thing working full time and going to school full time. It was hard because I had 2 kids myself and had to do everything. But I will tell you this, once your husband is done with school it will be well worth it. We tried to meet up for lunch break twice a week so we could see each other, talk about the kids and just enjoy each other for a little while. He also tired to make a little time for all of us for a little while on the weekends and then back to homework. Maybe you need to try something like this with your husband. During the day, take the kids to the park and let them run. You can also do some projects with them that they can give to their daddy. Put the kids to be a little early, so you can relax in the bath, read a good book, or just watch TV. I didn't have the luxury of staying home as I work full time as well, but just try to find other moms in your area that you can talk to or hang out with. Good luck!

Just want to say I was there too and it helps tremendously to get out of the house to go to the library, park, play groups, etc. You can meet other moms through church and go outside your comfort zone to invite them over. I have noticed some people just always wait to be asked and don't initiate contact but of course we are all happy to go once invited. You will feel better if you can do this. While my Husband was in 4 yrs. of graduate school, I had 3 little ones in those 3 yrs. I volunteered as a mom tutor to a teen mom and saw that opportunity in the newspaper. Don't know if it helped me or her more. I also joined an indoor park at a church denomination I didn't belong to but met 3 other great moms there we would have lunches and holiday parties for our little ones. Make a priority with your spouse to at least connect 30-60 min. a day for dinner or snack after kids go to bed so you can talk and feel each others support. We look back on it extrememly grateful for the simple time in our life when we were so poor that family time was feeding the ducks at his campus while he took a break to see us. We are so grateful now for the income and flexiblity. It is SO worth it. Be so happy your husband works hard as there are others out there that don't. Be happy and you can do this... I promise you!!!

I'm in your same boat, and have been for a few years. I love being a stay a home mom and I have two boys (2 yrs old and 10 mos old! Go figure!) My hubby has been a full time student and working full time since before my son was born (though I wasn't a SAHM until he was born) and we have just learned to cope with it. Thankfully for us, he graduates in the spring, so finally we will get more time with him then!

My advice is to get out there and try to put your self in situations where you can meet people (like taking trips to the park with your kids) and also make sure that you take full advantage of your time with your husband while is is at home. My hubby likes to study on campus if he can, but because that is something that would take him away form us even more than he always is, he studies at home as much as possible. I know that with two kid-tornados ravaging around the house it takes longer for him to get his work done, but at least I get to see and talk with him a while while he is doing it, and the kids get to see him and have more time with his as well, even if its just a 5 minute tickle break :-). Maybe you could talk to your hubby about staying home to study more often, so you get to see more of him. Saturdays are like sacred in our house. We ALWAYS go out and do something together with the kids, even if its just a trip to the grocery store or the mall. My other advice is to make sure that when your hubby is home you are actually doing things TOGETHER, not just sitting and watching TV or movies. I made this mistake last fall (because I figured he was so tired and just wanted to relax) so he was gone all day and then all evening the TV would be on and we were barely talking to each other. By the end of the semester I was more lonely than ever from the lack of communication and finally we figured out where we had been going wrong.

But yeah, I feel you... I'm totally in your same boat, so I know how it feels. Most of my friends and family live back east where we are from, and so since I can't see them, I spend a lot of time on the phone. If you can't get adult companionship in person, the phone is the next best thing. And sometimes, it sure is nice to have a little break for once in a while and talk to an adult!

Boy do I feel your pain! My husband travels about 3 weeks out of the month and works or recoups when he is in town so my exposure to any adult is very limited. It is a very lonely venture. Needless to say, I have made it a point to be sure to go to things where I am around people and volunteer to join whatever event or project is going on. I have a lot of luck with church and different clusters and groups I join.

You also can join groups in your area such as MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) and play groups that you usually can find out about online. You are not far from your 2 year old's time to go to preschool which you will find a lot of relief. You will then have the opportunity to meet other parents of kids your child's age and possibly hook up with them.

You will find your way, it is just hard to get over the hump.

Good luck!