Fights Sleep

I would say since he is so young, let the baby determine when he will sleep, not the clock, you may have fewer battles.

Hi L.,
I think a lot of times newborns are doing as much re-adjusting as we do. At this age he doesn't have a set schedule as much as you would like him to :-) There are a few things to consider. 1, maybe he's just not ready for a nap, 2) he could just be protesting that he's not being held, in which case it won't hurt him one little bit to fuss for a while, it might actually tire him out some. I wouldn't try to force a nap schedule on him just yet, he'll do that on his own. In the meantime, try to snooze when he does so you aren't so exhausted.
If you don't see an improvement in his fussiness, you may talk to you physician about changing his formula or if you are breastfeeding, what you could possibly be eating that makes him fussy. Also, try rocking him in a car seat. I had a rocking car seat that I would use and it usually did the trick if all else failed.

L.,

It sounds to me like he's fighting you because he doesn't want to nap. Try playing with him for a while before nap time to wear him out a little more. He could also be telling you that he doesn't need the nap at this time. Follow *his* cues throughout the day. Sometimes at this age kids start to drop one nap time throughout the day and take longer ones when they do nap.

An easy way for us to tell if either of our kids were ready for sleep (I have a son who's almost 5, and a daughter that is 17 months) was when they really started rubbing their eyes. Most times too their eyes will start getting droopy or half-mast when they're ready for cuddles and sleep.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

With both my kids (my older two at least, as my newborn isn't yet to this age), it was around that age, 3-5 months) that they stopped responding well and quickly to being rocked to sleep and seemed to need to go to sleep on their own, whether by crying or not, in order to sleep well. Neither of them ever nursed to sleep beyond the first few weeks of life. I never could have "attachment parented" my son, as he would have cried more if I'd held him all the time than if I let him fall asleep on his own. I think at the point that "helping" your child to sleep brings more tears and frustration than letting them fall asleep on their own, then it's time to stop the "helping", or at least that's how it's worked out with me and my kids.

I also recommend Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, it's a wonderful, well-rounded book. It's really, really helpful in what to expect as far as a nap schedule at each developmental stage, and how to get that established, so that your child (and you!) are well-rested and happy.

We had a similar sleep issue with our daughter after having slept easily early on she battled laying down. It turned out that she had reflux and the discomfort upon laying down was a big issue. For us naps were always hard and night-time sleep was less of a battle, perhaps because she was so tired. The crying, kicking and thrashing sounded so familiar - she would also arch a great deal. We ended up using Ranitidine, rather than Zantac,and having it compounded at a local pharmacy. Just thought that I'd mention this as a possibility.

Good luck -j.

I wonder if it is gassiness. I actually freaked out the first time that my son experienced the "gas pains." He shrieked and cried. My daughter is very different, she fusses and doesn't settle down either. Maybe you can try some mylicon or rock his legs back and forth or like riding a bicycle. Seems to me that this was the same age that my kids had this start. I think it's the maturation of their digestive systems. Good luck!

12 weeks? Are you trying to schedule him for a particular reason? I know I ran into this issue my first time around and I have to say I am glad I put the books down and asked my mom. I knew that growing up I always took a nap and bedtimes went over without a noise so she must have had something going on. Her poingant response was "Why on Earth would you schedule a 10 week old (mine was a little younger)?" I shrugged and said all the books said to. She rolled her eyes and said let baby sleep when they need to sleep. Often they need more than one nap during the day. It worked. Turned out he needed a morning nap AND an afternoon and he worked himself into a shedule within a month. I tossed the book. By 12 months he was taking a 2-3 hour nap in the middle of the day and I wasn't fighting him.

Falling asleep while nursing and/or being held is the best! He doesn't want to be "put down" to go to sleep, he wants to be with you! I'd recommend using a good carrier/sling to carry him in, nursing him if he wants to nurse, or just carrying him till he falls sleep, and then you can gently lay him down (in my experience it can work well to keep him in the sling and lay him on his side). Or you can just like down with him and nurse him to sleep. If he's sleepy he'll go to sleep while nursing or being carried, and if he isn't sleepy he won't, it's really pretty simple. Rather than putting him on some kind of regular schedule, it's much better to let/help him sleep when he is sleepy and be awake when he is awake. And remember that as babies grow their needs change, so you have to continually adjust your expectations and not expect any kind of regular "schedule" to last. Please ignore the "cry-it-out" advice you have been and will continue to be given. I speak from experience - I carried and nursed my babies to sleep for several years each, and they are now happy loving adults who carry, nurse, and sleep with their happy children - it works! I did "attachment parenting" from instinct, but now it has also been scientifically proven that children are happier and healthier if they are kept close and nurtured.

He likes you more than sleep. AND they are SMART. You have been consistantly putting him to bed the same way... AND HE KNOWS it. He doesn't *want* to sleep.
The biggest thing is being consistant. If you are sure he is ready for bed... do the same thing every time, no exceptions, but only rock him for the same amount of time (5 minutes or so) Sometimes it is really hard to tell when they are tired becuase when you can *really* tell, it is usually too late to avoid screaming.
For my 2nd child, (son, now 14 weeks), I start to sing has I carry him upstairs to bed. I rock him in the dark, next to his bed, as I sing for only 15-30 seconds and then set him down and leave. When you have your next child, you won't have the luxury of some much cuddling. :(
At first he protested 5 minutes. Even now, once in awhile, he will let out a cry or two, but he knows it is time for bed.
When my son was a newborn, I would let him *almost* fall asleep in the swing and then move him up to his bed. Since he was a newborn, he just fell asleep. It was good practice apparantly because I've never had to let him "cry it out". (did that with my daughter, not pleasant, but worth it) But you may have too...

This is my second child and I HIGHLY recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" By Marc Weissbluth. My sister (who had twins) and I both swear by it. Or email me to chat. :)

And I just want to say that a child will not "fall into a pattern" unless you give them the opportunity to sleep. They will fight sleep all day long if you let them.

I have two children - one is three and still takes a wonderful two hour nap everyday the other is 5mnts. I know that there is a lot of conflicting information about the importance of 'scheduling' a child. I also know that sometimes the mom's need the schedule more that the child. I say fooey with baby schedules. Trust baby to trust his body. That will not only build baby's ability to trust his body but also build trust between you and baby because baby will know that you understand and trust his cues. Besides, he has the whole rest of his life to be scheduled! You may find that he will set his own schedule in a short amount of time and that then nap will be no problem - it worked/works for me!! Best of luck!

L.,
There were two books I found helpful in this category of sleep/naps Dr. Weisbluths Happy Baby, Healthy Sleep and Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. What you describe is a child who has gone past their fatigue and is in the stages of fighting, the approach is to start putting the baby to sleep before they are 'over tired', but the books do a better job at describing it then I can.
It all will change, but when you are in it, it is stressful and exhausting.
Mary
A little about me:
Mother of 5 year old fraternal twins, school counselor, going back today ( in 10 minutes...)
Mary