A.G.
First it is a natural need of every person to need time for themself. An idea I read that might help is if you set aside some time every week to do something with each of your children individually (maybe 15-30 minutes each) that they enjoy and also another time to spend all together doing something fun as a family. That way when you are tired or busy with something else you can say "I can't right now because I am doing xyz, but I can't wait for our special time together"
Talk to your children about how you feel (tired, need time to relax- leave out how you cant wait for them to go to bed! ;>) Sometimes I come home and really need a few minutes to relax before the "next shift" begins. I will lay down- no TV/no anything for about 15 minutes to just unwind or taking a shower helps alot too. In my experience, I find that if I kindly tell my kids I am tired and need some time to relax, they surprise me with their kindness.
It sounds like you have a busy day, every day, as a cleaning business is not easy work! Maybe you can set up a schedule WITH them so that they know what to expect. Its important that you set it up WITH them. Sit down and tell them you need their help. In that schedule you include 15 minutes for you to relax when you get home. Ask them for ideas on what quiet activities they can do while you are relaxing. Then you can ask them what other things need to be done before bedtime and you guys can plan out the rest of your evening- homework time, cooking, dinner, clean-up, bath time, maybe storytime before bed, you get the idea.
Also, not sure if you do this already, but you can have them help you with preparing dinner/set the table/clean the table off. Children love to be helpful and that will give you guys a chance to do something together instead of you having to do everything.
I highly recommend you read Positive Discipline for Single Parents by Jane Nelson, that book helped me alot to find my way back to sanity!
http://www.empoweringpeople.com/store/page3.html
Keep strong Mom!
A.
Single Mom with 4 little munchkins!