hubby always puts a 'thought for the day' or a little reminder on his napkin in the lunch box.
I love these containers. They have ice packs in the lid that keep the food cold all day and the food doesn't get smooched.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11537951
If you are into being green, these are biodegradable
http://www.amazon.com/World-Centric-Starch-Spoons-24-Piec...
If you send foods that need spoons, there are some spoons that are shorter then normal, in the same aisle as the others, and fit into lunch boxes better. Or even a spork. No knives.
Make sure your child is able to open all items by herself. If she has to wait for the lunch room assistant, she'll lose eating time.
Reminder her to NOT put half eaten meat sandwhiches back into her lunch box.
If you are going to send a food that has an after smell - tuna, chinese food, etc., also include a tic tac.