First Time Expectin Mother

I worried every time that they wouldn't be able to find the heartbeat, for any number of reasons.....I was scared each and every time...all 3 pregnancies!

I know it wasn't logical but I worried, just like you!

You will be fine. Remember just take it one day at a time...no point in worrying today about what might/might not happen next month!

I was the same way with both of my pregnancies. I would get super anxious until the next apt. Each apt. would keep me sane for about a week and a half and then the worry would set in again. You only have about 7 weeks to go before you start to feel the baby move. Once the baby starts to move it will relax you each day that everything is ok.

Congratulations and welcome to parenthood. And like the last person said you only worry more when they get here!

I think your baby will be fine. Just try to have the doctor's office do as few tests as possible. Leave that baby be and let your body do it's job. Your body was designed to keep that baby safe and sound until it comes out. Trust your body. No matter what happens know your mothering skills will kick in once the baby is out.

Try not to worry! I was the exact same way when I was pregnant with my first. Every time I would go for a check up I would have a panic attack thinking they wouldn't be able to find a heart beat, but they always did! Like someone else said once you hear a heart beat your chances of miscarriage go down and same thing once you pass the 12 week mark. I am now pregnant with my second child and I don't worry nearly as much as I did with my first.

Hi, unfortunately you will most likely worry throughout the whole prgegancy about one thing or another. When I was pregnant and worrying about every little thing, another mother told me that as much as I am worrying now...its nothing compared to when they are actually here. I couldn't imagine this to be true but she was so right! I just have to say welcome to motherhood. This probably doesn't make you feel any less anxious but I wanted to be honest that the worrying never ends.

Try not to worry, the risk of miscarriage drops significantly after the heartbeat is heard. Easier said than done, right? And yes, since it's your first, you'll probably be nervous about everything! :)

Hi A.,
Yes, you have the new expectant mother's nerves. Do you have your mother or mother-in-law close enough to be a support to you? When asking any questions you might want to be careful in who and how you ask...there is a tendancy for some mothers to tell horror stories or one-up-manship with others on how easy or how difficult their pregnancy was.

Along with mamapedia.com here are other good websites for first time mothers: http://www.askamum.co.uk/Pregnancy/ or http://www.pregnancytoday.com/. You can also join cafemom.com which is a community made up of hundreds of different groups based on a huge variety of topics. If you go there though, just remember that you are talking with other moms and the one-up-manship can occur even online.

Good luck and blessings with your new little miracle. I'm so tickled for you (but not envious) I have two children and one has blessed me with three grand-children. I'll get my baby fix there. :)

W. Q

This is common for first pregnancies. You will worry about a lot of things because this is all so new. Try to calm down and push those worries out of your mind. Just enjoy the time bonding with your new baby

First off, congratulations on the pregnancy! It is normal to be concerned, but your baby needs you to be stress-free for her (yes, I'm betting it's a girl)! My motto is: don't worry about something until it happens! A few women have babies that die in pregnancy, (miscarriage). It is not because of anything they did wrong. A miscarriage happens because there is something wrong with the baby, and it can't grow into a healthy baby. So, enjoy your pregnancy, relax, and your baby will be here screaming into the world before you know it! Then she will be 12 years old in the blink of an eye! (Like my wonderful daughter). Good luck!

Yes, it's because it's your first pregnancy! And, you're going to worry about everything when the baby comes because it's your first baby! Calm down and enjoy yourself. It's a wonderful experience.

I definitely think it's that "first time" nerves of a new mom. You'll go through this the entire time but you will learn to control it better as each day passes. This continues through "first year" of everything with the baby. So many questions, so much uncertainty and your nerves are juggling so many new things in your life. It's a wonderful time but one that you have to make your self stay calm so you can handle it all and make good decisions. Good luck!

Take a deep breath. Everything is fine. Worrying is part of becoming a mother unfortunately. If you are 13 weeks you are past the common point of miscarriage, so it would be rare if the doctor found a good strong heartbeat at your appointment that he wouldn't at the next. :) Some doctor's offices are good at letting you come in if you really have the need to listen to the heartbeat again. Soon you will start feeling the baby move though, and that will help reassure you as well.
M.

With my first pregnancy, I was so nervous, I scratched my legs till they bled the last two weeks. But you know what, everything was fine.
Everything will be fine. You need to calm down so the baby will be calm too.......You can change what is going to happen either way, so relax, enjoy being pregnant and be happy. Happy mommies make for happy babies!
Congratulations and enjoy, when baby gets here, your life is turned upside down for about 3 months!!!!

Quit worrying? This is not good for you or the baby...Things will be fine. If God means for this to be it will be.

My first pregnancy was a miscarriage and we couldn't find the heartbeat. After all the research I did afterwards, this is what I figured out. Once you have actually seen and heard the heartbeat, the odds of miscarriage are MUCH MUCH lower. And once you pass that magical 12 week mark, they are lower again. I felt "home free" after about week 13. I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about at this point. A good strong heartbeat and being at week 13 means everything is going great. Of course you will find other stuff to worry about. Once you start feeling the baby, you will be relieved all over again. But then you will worry if you don't feel him/her for a while. This is totally normal. If you ever start to be worried to the point where it is debilitating to you (you can't function normally, it occupies all your thoughts) talk to your OB. I have major anxiety issues and you dont want to let them get out of hand. Enjoy your pregnancy. Have faith that everything is going well, and just look forward to your next ultrasounds and feeling the baby move. After that it gets a little boring. But you definitely can feel safe buying stuff and telling people now. The odds of anything happening are so slim once you are at the point you are at now. Congratulations!!!

Edit: I agree with Workinmom- don't let people tell you horror stories. It is not something you need to hear right now. I don't tell people my horror story of my wisdom teeth when they are on their way to the dentist, and I don't tell pregnant women what can go wrong. The majority of pregnancies go perfectly fine, and even more go fine after the first trimester. Just politely decline to hear their story. They probably don't even think about what they are saying.

The other three posters were right - it's normal and common to be worried. I worried a lot with my first pregnancy. With my second, I did not. I don't know if it's because I had already carried a baby to term or because I already had a child?

Also, the worry will just manifest into something different once they are born. Are they sleeping enough? Are they sleeping too much? Are they hungry? Do they have colic? ETC. You will always be worrying and wondering! That is part of parenting....

Now, onto the good things...once you have HEARD or SEEN the baby's heartbeat, the percentage that you will not find it the next time is VERY low. You are almost to the three month point so you are very close to being 'out of worry range.' But that does not mean you won't worry!

I suggest keeping a journal - you will be able to look back six months from now, a year from now, etc and compare what you are worried about in comparison to what you worried about now.

Enjoy this time!

Anxiety is very common in pregnancy, especially in the early months when all your hormones are changing so dramatically. Try to remember that most of your anxiety is probably caused by hormones, some of it caused by being a new mom, and only a tiny little portion is that natural worry that everyone has. I know you are feeling very protective of this little life already, but what will be will be, and worrying about it isn't good for you. Good luck.

I am a first time expecting mom too and I remember being worried about each and everything in the first trimester. Now when I look back , I feel I shouldn't have worried so much. As far as I have understood , if anything has to go wrong in the first trimester , it will. Even the doctors cant do much then , that's the reason the first OB appts are usually after 8-10 weeks.So the only thing we can do is 'not worry' as most of the pregnancies go on just fine. Even now I tend to get anxious when I dont feel the baby kick for long but I have learnt to relax and tell myself that all will be just fine. There is nothing we can do by worrying right ? Just watch out for any warning signs and call the doc immediately. If everything is fine, try not to worry that something that might go wrong just because it happened to somebody else. Every pregnancy is different.Just take good care of yourself and your baby.
Also, this was something another mom had wrote to M. which helped M. see things in a different perspective. She was very straightforward and said - 'If you are worried for your baby, get used to it because you will be worrying about him/her for the rest of your life'. So true!

Same here. I worried, just like you. I used to read a lot in the Internet on what is happening with my baby. It helped a lot to relieve the tension.

Read somewhere: "The fear of the unknown rules majority of pregnant
women's minds". So, it is okay to worry. But not too much. Take it easy and enjoy this phase. God bless...