Freaking Out About Twins

I have twin 21 month olds and one of them is autistic. Not exactly 3 kids, but just as much work. The biggest obstacle you will have is in the beginning with the twins. I don't remember the first 6 months too well and have almost no recollection of the first 3 months because of the lack of sleep. If it is in your budget, hire a night nanny to get up and do the overnight feedings. Get those babies on a schedule from the beginning. I read a book that helped me. It might be expensive, but if you can get 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, that will make all the difference in the world. Get your 19 month old to involved with the babies so that you can give him attention as well.

Hi, F.! (What a pretty name!)
God will not put more on you than you can handle. He is looking out for you and all your beautiful babies!
He will show you the way and you will figure things out. You simply must have F. that with Him all things are possible.
Stress will also do horrible things to your body! So, try your best to not freak out and just take one day at a time.

Good luck and God bless you and your wonderful family!

If you have relatives in the town or city where you live, I would ask a relative or my husband to go with me wherever I went. I wouldn't go anywhere by myself. If you don't have any relatives, then your husband should go with you when he is not at work. Merry Christmas.
P. S

I can't speak to your medical situation, but the other part I can identify with. I had a 5 year old and an 18-month old when I learned that I was pregnant with twins. It was the shock of a lifetime, and I spent months worrying and wondering how my husband and I would ever survive. All I can say is that you do. You adapt, and although it's difficult to see it now, you will just take one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, and after a while, you'll have a hard time remembering what life was like before those two little bundles joined your family. It'll be okay, I promise!

We not only survived, but went on to have two more children after the twins :)

Girl you have every right to freak out right now and you will be going through alot more emotions throughout your pregnancy. I am the mother of 7 year old twin girls-now I don't have another one in the mix but I can tell you this even with singleton children to hold true. When you have more than one child it's important to take time out for "each" one of them as individuals. It's not the "quantity" of time either that you spend with each child it is the "quality". Always do a little something extra for each child to make them feel special-even if it's something as simple as saying Mommy will read you an extra bedtime story tonight. Yes, life is going to change for you but embrace it-God has a plan for everyone and everything that happens. Trust in him and everything will be fine. Talk to your doctors about your concerns. Do you have family or friends willing to help you out? That will be important to have in the beginning. My babies were always good babies-God knows your needs and I think he will fully bless you in ways that you cannot fathom as long as you put your F. and trust in him first. I would make sure that you have some sort of an ID braclet (if you already don't have one) and keep it on you at all times with your medical conditions listed. Do you have a neighbor that you could call on to watch your son if it happens? I was very independant before I became pregnant with my twins and I was very concerned about being home-bound but I never ever let that stop me-the more you get out and do it the more confident you become. I remember when the twins were quite young and I needed to go major grocery shopping. Having two car seats and needing to get some major groceries didn't mix-so I improvised. I brought one into the store in her carrier and would place the other one in one of those carriers that you wear. If one got bored I would switch them out-and I think they enjoyed the change of scenary. You are going to have a lot of questions I am sure-lol! We are ALL here for you and I am more than happy to offer advice if I can-everything will be okay momma :-) Just trust in the one that needs to be trusted! His grace is sufficient~

Oh I wish I had some help to offer. I've not had twins. Have you talked with your doctor about what to do? Also, do you have disability insurance. I don't know if you're a stay at home mom or not, but either way some disability insurance might be a good idea. Do you have any family or friends who can help?
I'd check with local preschools and such to see if there are some 2-3 day a week programs you could enroll your toddler in to give the toddler a chance to mingle and enjoy and give you a bit of a break

Hi F.,

The ladies have responded well to most of the questions in your query. I want to address the thought that your toddler might be held back. On the contrary, additional siblings will broaden any experience he could possibly have. I believe every child will catch up on anything that he didn't experience earlier and the joy he can have at home with you will be cherished by the two of you forever. I took a year off of school with my two daughter when I took my sick parents in. When we got back to normal, they flew thru schoolwork, got back to grade level and helped more around the house and learned so many social skills dealing with the elderly that I still get comments on my girls.

Trust God. I was terrified to have my second one because I had such a bad first pregnancy. I thought there was no way I could care for my little at all if things were the same as the first time I was pregnant. They weren't... and we all survived... and prospered from it.

God bless and Congratulations!

M.

I can't speak to the medical part of your query, but on the other I have to agree completely with Lisa. I had a 2 1/2 year old and 11 month old when I found out I was pregnant with twins. All I could do was walk around and say I was in shock. As Lisa said the first three months are a total blur. Actually I think my whole first year was a blur. I did hire a young girl (19) to come in and help me out at different times. When my twins finally were about 2 and playing with each other, they became much easier. I, too, went on to have two more. My first 4 were boys and the last two were girls. Life is never dull. I really remember all too well how you feel. Please let anyone you trust who offer you help to help you! Let us know how it goes. Will add you to my prayer list.

F.,
Wow, I can hear how overwhelmed you are feeling.
In regards to handling a toddler with newborn twins, I would suggest getting in touch with a local multiples club. I'm not sure where you live, but you can google multiple clubs to find one nearby. I belong to one that has a message board that members find extremely helpful. It's North Metro Mothers of Multiples.
I only have the twins, so I can't personally relate to also having another child, but I would look now at how you can have things set up so that you are able to get enough sleep.
I know it's not easy, but I would do what I could to learn some new coping skills. The more you worry about all the things that can go wrong, the more likely your stress level will increase and that things will go wrong. Take some time to do visualization of how wonderful things will be. It you enjoy meditation, people find that very helpful. There are many CD's out there that just play relaxing things like the sound of rain or the beach.
Having twins in my life has been a great blessing and I hope that you will soon be able to experience how wonderful it is too. Be patient with yourself. This is something you just found out about.
Take care,
R.
P.S. Consignment sales are a big way that multiple clubs do in order to have money to support the clubs. They will begin to take place in late Feb. and go through March and sometimes April. This will be a great time to get some good deals on matching/coordinating items.

F.,
First, congratulations on the new additions to your family! You're already on your way to handling these new challenges in your life by asking for help.

According to your profile, the North Fulton Mothers of Multiples (http://www.nfmomc.org/main.php) is the closest twins club to you. I recommend you connect with them - you'll get lots more advice and support.

Welcome to the world of multiples!
Best wishes,
K.

I know it is easier said then done but as a mom of "four" who originally only wanted not more than two I can relate on some levels.
Most ironically I love that your name is "F." and that is what you need to have at this time.
Look and keep focused on the "big" picture. These children will add unbelievable blessings to your lives and all whom they will encounter.
Make prayer a scheduled time in your life...especially now or when you are the most busy. It is the road to peace. Read good inspirational books in your last months of pregnancy and don't be shy about taking all the help that is offered. Others love to be able to show their support. Keep positive and have a little "F." now and always.
Keep a journal of blessings and reread it frequently.
God Bless to you and your family now and always!