From Mom and Dad or from Aunt ?

This is just my opinion.
let the SIL buy the bike.
why? she has no kids of her own, can probably afford it, and you guys will get something else.
why?
because you guys are struggling somewhat this year, times will get better, and one day, of and when SIL has her own kids you will be able to do the same for her whether she needs it or not.

I find that pretty off-putting for her to do that. That present should come from Mom & Dad. Those kinds of presents aren't just material things, they are memories, big ones. I still remember all the presents my parents gave me over the years- I don't think it's fair for her to try to steal that thunder from you. Tell her no thank you, give the money back, and offer suggestions for other things she can buy.

I would find it off-putting as well if my SIL did that. I can see that you wanted the 'big gift' to come from you and hubby. It's almost like the aunt took it from you because she has money. However, you already took the money and she probably meant well and just didn't think about what she was doing.

Given that, I would go ahead and let the bike be from the aunt. And next time she wants to be generous and pay for a special gift, tell her that you are the parents and you feel that the special gift should come from you. Thank her profusely and offer some other suggestions. She clearly needs to have family boundaries outlined very concretely.

Let your mom know that your SIL gave you the $ and let it be from the Aunt. Now you are free to get something else. You are blessed to have such a sweet aunt for your child.

Your SIL did a very nice thing, and you obviously appreciate it! I would let the bike be from her and then you can use the money you would have spent on the bike to purchase other gifts. Christmas isn't about which person gives the better gifts. I know, as parents we hope that we can give our children what's on their wish list. But, if your sister is paying for the bike, the gift should be from her. If it still bothers you, ask her if she would mind if you put "Santa" on the tag. She may not care at all.

First I don't understand why you haven't told your husband, it doesn't make sense that you were able to tell him about SIL but not about your mom.

Second what a nice SIL....she obviously knew about your hard times & was extremely generous, I don't think she crossed the line at all. I am sure you took the money because you have finances on your mind but now you have to fess up to your husband & ask him this question.

Personally I would let SIL purchase the bike & get credit for it. Maybe you can find a store like Kmart (by me) that does layaway.

Let her give him the bike.

A bike under the tree on Christmas morning is a great gift for your son. It is nice that your SIL purchased it- she probably knows you all are a little strapped for cash this year. Ask her about putting the bike out from Santa and she will probably agree. Has someone purchased a bike helmet (or training wheels) for your son so that he can use his new gift right away safely? Also the happy Christmas memories you create and the family time are more important than the money you spend on the presents. So don't try to overdo the holiday presents this year. You might be paying back your mom long after the kids have lost interest in their gifts or outgrown their clothes. Have a very merry Christmas!

I'm on the fence. The gift was your idea and you probably should have said something at the time, but you were caught off guard and took the money already. I wouldn't give it back, it would make you seem ungrateful and I don't think that is what your goal is.

Since you will be giving him other gifts, I say let her give the bike and you can give him your other gifts. This is about him and really I don't think kids keep a tally like we adults tend to do. If it were up to the kids, they would bypass all the card/tag reading and tear into it. I know this because I just did my daughter's birthday party and have NO clue who gave her what gift.

Wow, this is tough. I just want to point out that if you give the bike as a Santa gift, it's not from you anyway... As far as your son is concerned, it's from Santa. So, if your concern about letting his aunt give it is that he'll think you and dad didn't getting him anything, you're still in that boat if Santa gives it.

That said, you need to talk to you husband. Don't cut deals with your mom behind his back, he needs to feel like you're in this with HIM not with your mom. If your son really wants a gift you can't afford (even if you pay over time) and someone else is willing to get it for him, I'd let them. The important thing is that your son has a happy Christmas, not that his parents get the credit for the best gifts.

Just my two cents,
T.

If Aunt gave you the money you should let the bike be from Aunt. Who cares who it came from, your son wont.

Mommy & Daddy don't get credit for the presents anyway, Santa does, so who cares who it comes from? Your son will be happy and that's all that matters. I think you should let it come from her.

Most importantly, Tell your husband ASAP! You don't have to "bring it up" Just simply say, Hey, I wanted to let you know my mom is helping us out with Christmas and we're paying her back. He won't even have a chance to say he doesn't want to talk about it and walk off.

I didn't read any of the other posts... so not sure where the group is at on this one.
My opinion - I would give the money back to your sister and let you and your husband give the bike for Christmas.
A Bike is a big thing for a kid to remember... I would want my son to remember that it came from his mommy and daddy.
There are lots and lots of other things (at all price ranges) that your son would love to have that your sister could give. Let her feel good about it and pick something out for him on her own! Instead of making it easy and just handing over the money....
good luck with whatever you decide.

I totally understand your position on this. You are the parents, you should give the best gift.

But if I were really struggling with money, I'd take the easiest way out. In ten years, your son won't care or won't remember that his AUNT got him a cool bike and his parents got him a lame video game.

If you hadn't taken the money, I might have had a different answer, but it'll make for some uncomfortableness with your SIL if you say "um no we're going to get the bike for him. Here's your money back."

Just my opinion. Obviously as parents we want to be the reason behind the big grin on our children's faces, but your SIL was trying to help and you took it. I think it's too late to go back on it. Please post a "So what happened" in a week or whenever something happens. I'd be curious as wo what ended up happening on this one. It's a tricky situation.

You lucky girl - You sound blessed by such caring family!

If it were me, I would return sister's money (maybe via mail so she had to accept) and include a heart-felt message that let's her know how much her generous nature means to you during these times. Tell her you are sure you can swing the bike (no need to disclose the help from mom) and tell her you would consider it a great gift if she used that money instead to do something special for herself, her family, a volunteer/non-profit group, or even some other holiday gift for your son.

well I think your SIL was a bit offbase and crossed OVER boundaries.. even IF it was out of kindness.. fact is, you wanted to have the bike come from you..
that said.. you have to weigh this out.. would you be offended if your SIL gave him the bike or do you prefer it come from you? if it's truly not a bother. then just let her do it... but next time, now you know. don't show her anything UNLESS you want her to pay :)

We get so many gifts from family out of town for our daughter, Instead of confusing her, she thinks that Santa brought everything! She always one present from Mommy and Daddy, but everything is from Santa!!
I think it is so nice that your sil offered to pay, just let her give it to her, and that means you can still get him another "big" present!!
Merry Christmas!!

Updated

We get so many gifts from family out of town for our daughter, Instead of confusing her, she thinks that Santa brought everything! She always one present from Mommy and Daddy, but everything is from Santa!!
I think it is so nice that your sil offered to pay, just let her give it to her, and that means you can still get him another "big" present!!
Merry Christmas!!

WOW, sounds like she was just trying to be good SIL, but put you in a bad spot. Can't say my MIL has never done this to me. Bout every Christmas when I suggest to her what I want to get him, she get's it before I can save up enough money and then tells me she got it for him. I don't get upset about it though, because at the end of the day, the kids don't really care WHO they get it from, as long as they get it, right? If you CAN afford it, either give her back the money and tell her that there is something else he wants and what gift does she really want to put her name. Or use some of the money for some thing else he really wants. I'm sure your husband just doesn't want to talk about it because he feels he doesn't want to have to deal with not having all the money in the world to buy his kids gifts. Good luck.

I'm going to try to put this in some kind of order. First, if you are borrowing money from your mom to provide Christmas, your husband needs to know that. Second, you should still have a budget for Christmas or a maximum amount you want to borrow from your mom that your husband agrees with. Third, then you can determine if you can afford the bike as part of that budget and still have a few other things. Last, IF you determine you can afford it and if the reason you want the bike to be from Santa is that you want to see his face light up when he gets up Christmas morning, then you have a heart to heart with your SIL and tell her that, thank her for her generosity and maybe give her something else special that your son wants to be from her. But as you are realistically looking at what you can afford, remember that he's 6 and he will be excited by whatever toys he receives from Santa. So if financially it makes more sense for his aunt to give the bike, let her. Christmas puts so much pressure on us, that's probably why your husband keeps walking away from the conversation, try not to get in over your head. It's more important that the holiday is unstressed by worries of how much was spent. The best part of Christmas is being with family and it sounds like you are blessed with a great family between your mom helping you out and your SIL stepping up to help. Maybe you should make some special Christmas goodies for Gramma and Auntie. And get your son something you and he and his dad can play together on Christmas. He'll remember having a good time with you guys forever.

D.,
I think you should follow your husband's lead on this one. He has expressed his desire. Why buck that? It will show him that you respect him, and take pressure off of his shoulders. What a generous sister you have. Let her do this. I think this should be a no-brainer since your husband has already weighed in on it. If you don't care about his opinion, why do you ask him?

We've been here before! Grandpa (who lives far away) got my 2 year old what we were gonna get from Santa. I just asked him straight up if it was ok to give it in the name of Santa since she was too young to care what came from who. He was thrilled with the idea! If I had bought a gift for a child that was so awesome that it was on "Santa" level, I'd be thrilled just the same to have it come in his name! :) Just ask her if she cares!

I can easily see both sides of this. I think if I were in this situation, I would just let SIL give him the bike. It sounds like you have a good relationship with her, so don't let something like this get in the middle. Also, this way you can give mom back the money and not have to worry about oweing her anything.

If you want him to have the bike, and you can't afford it and she can, why not? Yes, his BIG gift will be from his aunt, but so what? If you hadn't bought it, rather than borrowing from mom, she could have gotten it on her own anyway.

WOW! You got raked over the coals on this one!!! I feel bad for you. Not only are you going through tough times, you have women slapping you to boot!!!!
Talk to SIL, MIL and DH....Look at the bike SANTA brought!!!!

Case closed.

Merry Christmas D....I hope you and your family have a great holiday!!!!