Frustrated over Criticism!

I would say something like "After all, at the end of the day, what kind of parent would I be not to give my child EVERY advantage available to her?"

MELODY IS VERY LUCKY TO HAVE YOU AS HER MOMMY NOT ONE OF THE IGNORANT NAYSAYERS!

(There, see? You could say, 'There's SO much help out there for kids who need it, I'd be CRAZY not to take it, don't you think?')

You're doin' everything right Mom!

:)

You are absolutely right! Early intervention is the key! It is not surprising that your child is bright and sometimes these types of delays show up in the brightest of kids. Speech therapy now will help your daughter so much when she begins Kindergarten. It will make her life and your life easier. Good for you for standing by your daughter despite all the rude and frankly ignorant comments. A mother's intuition is always right and in this case you have medical professionals to back it up. This early prep work that your are doing to get the services your daughter needs will most definitely pay off in the future. Good luck to you!

isn't it funny how everyone's a doctor when it comes to YOUR child? Makes me sooooo mad. You do what YOU feel is right for YOUR child. Period.

Good luck, I hope you get her the help she needs.

You are doing the right thing at the right age. With proper intervention
she will probably do fine and catch up before you know it. My youngest
daughter had lots of delays in many areas. My family told me there was
nothing wrong! We got her the services she needed early on and I am proud to say today at 28 yo she is a surgical tech in the operating room,
and EMT and volunteer firefighter! You are a great Mom and her
advocate. Keep up the great work.

My 2 year old is going to see the speech therapist next week. At 19 months he was 1 or 2 points shy of not qualifying. I'm grateful that my husband supports my desire to seek services. My MIL, on the other hand, says her nephew didn't talk until he was 5, and he turned out just fine. Well, maybe he did, but I will be one frustrated mama if I have to wait 3 more years to talk to my kid!

It is absolutely ridiculous to criticize someone for doing something to help their child. Maybe your daughter would be just fine without services, but I'm with you. Why take a chance. This will help the two of you communicate better. Sounds like a win-win to me.

It's not easy, but there will be many decisions we all have to make for our kids that others will not agree with. We have to do what we think is best and not worry about those who disagree.

Good luck with this! And I wish your daughter much success with her speech!

My advice: stop discussing this with everyone but the experts with whom you are consulting. Of course, you won't be able to follow that advice with hubby. For him you can say this: consider these services as a free benefit! They can't hurt and if they help, even better!

Continue to ignore it and do what is best for your kid.

My son went into speech therapy at 17 months and everyone thought I was being too pretentious and overprotective. However, as a high school teacher I have seen first-hand how kids who have no had intervention at an early enough age have suffered. Once you get to junior high and high school it is so hard to back-track and undo years of delays. The kid can't get positive attention at school because they can't do well academically so they find other ways to stand out. Sure it might be athletics or music but it could also be drugs, alcohol, being sexually active, or hanging out with the wrong crowd - anything they can do to make themselves feel better because they feel down about their academic worth.

I'd rather work on the issue on the front end and be a little more cautious as opposed to dealing with a multitude of issues that have gotten out of hand.

Good luck and just keep ignoring it :)

We went through this when seeking help for our son's ADHD. Everyone is a critic when you're managing a child's medical issue. I can't begin to tell you how many people told me our son was "just an active boy!" It was exhausting hearing people blow off our reality that it really was a situation needing medical help.

I would just say, "Thanks for your input, but we're making decisions based on the doctors' advice and know we're on the right track." Boom. Leave it at that. If they press to argue more, say you're not talking about it anymore and don't.

You won't be able to change people's minds, so don't waste your energy trying. Just stay focused on the therapy and helping your child.

Best wishes to you!

Wow, such rude people you have in your life. I am so sorry! Shame on your husband for not supporting your decision to make sure your daughter has the best life possible. How can your husband disagree with that??? Two of my children had/have special education services, and the two words I always heard a lot were "early intervention." Early intervention is SO IMPORTANT. You are right - catching it now/early will help your daughter tremendously now, and will make it much easier for her to catch up.

My advice to you - STOP telling your friends and family about it!! You don't need their criticism anymore! So, the next time they ask you what's going on w/ your daughter's services, LIE. Tell them you decided to let it go for now and that you will re-evaluate her situation in six months. This way, you won't have to deal with their rude comments and questions, at the same time buying yourself 6 months. I wouldn't suggest lying to your husband, however. You need to tell him your plan and hopefully he will agree to go along with your lie for the next 6 months. It just kills me how rude people are, questioning your motives regarding your daughter. You know her best -not them! Way to go for being all over this now. Best wishes.

You've got a lot of great responses but I wanted to add that it sounds like you are doing the right thing. I am sure it's hard to ignore it - the other solution might be not to talk about it with people who you know don't support your actions. Just avoid it (not exactly the same as ignore it).

Your husband is a bigger concern - it'd be really helpful to have him on the same page so maybe your pediatrician or some other professional involved in this process can help educate him with some statistics about the power of early intervention? Seriously, what exactly does he think is the down side?

best of luck to you & your girl - you sound like an awesome mom.

It sounds to me like you've got two different problems. The first one is easy. If you have friends or extended family that don't support your decision to pursue speech therapy for your daughter, then cut them out of those discussions. Seriously, just don't talk to them about it. They don't need to know, and you don't need the hassle of explaining and justifying your (good) decisions.

The second problem is a trickier one... your husband. It's seriously draining if your husband isn't on board with something you think is important. Can you sit down and talk to him about the benefits of getting your daughter some help? Perhaps he doesn't see the value? Or maybe he's worried and doesn't know how to express that? I obviously don't know... but I'd say tackle that issue because you want to have support at home.

Poeple amaze me. I want to give them a talking to for you! First, you are the MOM you know! In this instance my question is, REALLY what is the worst that can happen if you the one who is the closest with your daughter than anyone is wrong (doubtful but for arguments sake)? You give a child extra help with communication skills that she doesn't need? HELLO! It will serve her well no matter what! GRRR get some logic people! Anyway, When they start in immediately interrupt them, put your hand up, tell them you already know how they feel about this and you don't want to talk about it with them and change the subject to something light and positive. Don't bring any of it up to them at all. If they are persistant Walk away if you have to. You might not be able to do some of this with your husband but you can tell him, THIS is the way it is going to be and mention the it won't hurt her if you're right fact.

Last, KNOW that you are giving your little girl a gift! How frustrating for her not to be able to tell you what she wants, let alone the other fun stuff little ones talk about!

You are your childs advocate. You should follow thru and get her as much help as you can.
Hang in there. I will say a pray for you.

I know it's hard that your husband doesn't think this is necessary, but he probably just doesn't want to admit that his daughter needs help, so please try to be understanding to his feelings. However, I absolutely think you are doing the right thing and you need to clearly express to your husband your feelings and why you are doing what you are doing. Early intervention is key. Your daughter has to be frustrated as well that she can't communicate, and if you can get her help and her on track, it will do wonders for her confidence and self-worth. You are doing what you think is best for your daughter, and don't listen or defend your choice to anyone (except husband). If you are tired of it, tell people you are doing it, and that the end of the discussion, if they want to keep talking about it, don't engage. Once they realize that it's a losing battle to continue to discuss with you, hopefully they will stop. You are doing the right thing, and I wish more parents were like you. I have a sister and a SIL who refuse to believe there is a speech and communication problem with their children and it kills me that they are not doing anything to help, and if it doesn't get corrected, their children will suffer.

My son is speech delayed too. My mom (and others) will sometimes tell me there is nothing wrong with him and make it seem like I'm wasting my time with the therapy. I just tell her it's not costing me anything and it can't hurt. There's really no way to argue with that!
My husband wasn't really onboard at first either, but I made him go to a few appointment, especially the original assessment and after talking to the professionals who could explain better than I what the expectations were and where Jacob was he saw the Jacob does have a delay and now he is very willing to learn the signs and have Jacob use the signs for what he wants.
I know how alone you feel right now, but it will get better as your child keeps improving and you can share that with people they will come around.

MAMMA KNOWS BEST!!! Do what you know is right and ignore the negative input. If you are confident in what you are doing stand by your decision and just do not discuss it with others. By discussing it is may appear to them that you are looking for their input, or approval. No one needs to know what you are doing with your child or how you are deciding to raise your child except you and your husband. In your husbands defense most men never think anything is wrong, we are the mommies, we worry. Good luck!!

Don't tell people your personal business, or include them in what you are planning. They can't whine about what they don't know. It's no ones business anyways. If your husband whines, just read him the facts and leave it at that.

My boys didn't talk when they were two either, than one day, they just started speaking sentences and asking complex questions. But, they could still communicate and had a lot of cognitive strengths.

Each child is different, you know yours, probably better than anybody and if you say that she is suffering with communication, then by jove, you are right. Really though, a little bit of occupation therapy isn't going to harm her even if you were overreacting. Just brush it off. Early intervention is the best thing you can do for her and you have no need to defend that.

I got that with my one son who had severely clogged tear ducts, I had to have them drained and it was a tough decision but necessary. People would accuses me of not cleaning his face, or letting him suffer from allergies. I pretty much learned to roll my eyes and walk off.

A lot of what you hear from other people is based upon their opinion that is based upon:
* their ignorance of the subject matter;
* their lack of hands-on personal experience raising your daughter; or
* their wishful thinking that everything is alright and their misguided attempt at showing you support.

A lot of people have no idea about what developmental delays are all about and it's easy to have an opinion about a child that you maybe see an hour here or there throughout the week. Just because you have an opinion, it doesn't make you right . . . it just means you have a preconceived notion about something.

I understand your sensitivity about this subject. I've been there myself. I just want you to know that you are being a very smart and very supportive mother. The other's can't see it because they don't walk in your shoes and don't have my 20/20 hindsight on the issue, but you really are being a terrific mom and you do not have to justify your actions to anyone. Since this is a hot button issue for you right now, I would suggest not talking too much about what's going on with your daughter and the decisions you are making with people who aren't in the know about this subject matter.

I am so glad that you are going to get the services that your daughter needs. Early intervention is the key and those speech therapists, they're a lot of fun! Your daughter will feel like it's just another playdate for her. My son received early intervention also and it really helped a lot. The sooner a child with communication delays receives services, the better. I am so proud of you for being a stand up kind of mom and being there for your daughter.

Best wishes to you and your daughter.

Just adding another positive answer to the bunch! Your words are wonderful! I'm a speech language pathologist and work in early intervention.....you are giving your daughter many gifts! The gift of communicating her basic wants and needs, the gift of decreasing her frustration, the gift of some wonderful new interactions that you and her will have, and the gift of enhancing her social skills and receptive language skills that go hand in hand with expressive language skills. Yay for you!

well you could always say, " have you heard the old saying MOTHER KNOWS BEST!" it sounds like you have your daughters best interest at hand. keep up the awesome work. if you don't stand up for your little one no one will. your a mom on the right page. mom of 7, R.

I cannot think of anything better to respond with than what you yourself said: "I KNOW there is nothing wrong with her!! She has a simple delay, not a disorder, disease, or disability." I'd just add: "It's my job as her mom to take the best care of her I possibly can. If she were your child, you could make other choices."

I wouldn't hesitate to add a "now STFU," but I have a pretty short temper when it comes to people criticising how I take care of my kids. Probably not the most politic : )

Do what needs to be done.
Set up the appointments.
Get the speech therapy schedule in place.
Talk to nobody. It doesn't matter what they think, anyway.
My son had speech therapy in preschool and kindergarten. He is graduating from high school and is absolutely fine now.
Keep your chin up.
Ignore the criticism... it's hard being the mom.
LBC

I feel your frustration! We enrolled my son in a program called Early On because he just wasn't communicating and he wouldn't respond when you called his name. At first my husband was against it but I convinced him that it would be silly not to utilize every single learning opportunity we could in order for our son to be ahead of the game rather than struggling behind. They detected that my son had mild issue with being over focused. Ever since he went through the program you can see a definite improvement. So I think you are doing the right thing. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.

See if your hubby can join in with the specialists so he can hear it from someone other than you. I don't understand why anyone would fault a mother for trying to do the best for their child. You seem like you have your stuff together and are very in tune with your child so opinions, I know are annoying and rude but, you should feel confident! Your doing a perfect job! Good luck with the services and I hope for a great outcome!

People are probably trying to be reassuring, not critical. You are worried, and they are just trying to say "it'll be ok..." I mean, i don't know exactly WHAT these comments are... but I think that you may be taking them the wrong way, because you are naturally stressed and a little worried about your daughter.

Go and get her help with her speech! That is perfectly ok and a great thing. When people say it is "probably not that big of a deal" (or whatnot) they are NOT saying that what you are doing is wrong... just that your daughter will probably catch up and be fine or normal in a few years- which is probably true. If someone tells you NOT to go get help, simply take thier advice with a grain of salt- or say that you'll do what you feel is best for her.

In the end, with comments, shrug it off. If it bothers you, don't discuss your daughter's speech delay with friends anymore. Really it is just between you, your husband, and the doctor/support "team". Don't take well meaning empathy as criticism!

Good Luck to you and your daughter!
-M.

You might try simply saying that this is your child and your decision - and you have accepted/honored the decisions your friends have made about their children and all you are asking is the same acceptance/honor. Beyond that, you really cannot control the inanity of others - they will each and all have an opinion, and most of us like to share our opinions. If you don't want to hear the opinions of others, tell them!

I TOTALLY could have written this. We started our son in therapy when he was 18 months old and is almost four. I can JUST imagine where he would be if we DIDN'T start therapy when we did.

Follow your gut and find supportive therapists. Since you'll be a part of the therapy process it's so NICE to have someone to talk to about your child that UNDERSTANDS your concerns, fears and frustrations. They'll be your favorite people once you see improvement and there WILL be improvement, just give it time.

Good luck and stay strong, you're doing the right thing for your child!

The problem is many people do not know what early intervention is, I would calmly tell those who feel the need to be "in the loop" that this is what you feel is in the best interest for your daughter and it can only help, that there is nothing negative at all that can come from this, so for them to please keep their negative observations/comments to themselves.
My family has had quite a bit of experience with this, first with my sister and her two daughters and more recently with my youngest. My own mother was in denial over my sisters daughter ( who has a diagnosis of Autism) for Years and is still in denial over my own son's diagnosis.
I am positive you are making the right choice for your daughter.

Language skills are SO important! If you respond to your husband and others keep your responses very short. something like "What kind of mother wouldn't do everything to help her child develop her communication skills." Then walk away or change the subject. Just to remind you you're doing the right thing, (where I live a child only needs to be delayed by 33%) My son had speech intervention form age 2 to 3, he's talking up a storm now at almost 6 and will never need to be pulled our of the classroom to receive assistance.