Funeral Ideas for Extreme Elderly Who Have Outlived Everyone

Who are you showing respect to?

The funeral is for the living. If the funeral parlor feels to large, maybe have a wake in a smaller venue - perhaps someone's house.

I understand. I have to admit that I don't think that it's necessary to have a funeral in this scenario. Instead, let the funeral home take care of her and instead of going to the funeral home, have everyone meet at someone's house on a weekend for a luncheon or dinner and have everyone bring their pictures of her or special momentos. Sit around and talk about pleasant memories - look at the pictures. Go out to the cemetary and see where they have put her to rest. This way, no one has to take off work during the week, and you can put some planning and thought into remembering her.

If you have family members who are intent upon seeing her before she is laid to rest, ask the funeral director to have one evening for you to accept visitors (like a viewing). If you do this, you will need to have them embalm her.

If you are looking at costs, you do have choices. Decide whether or not to have a viewing. If you don't, you can choose not to embalm (or you can cremate.) If you don't embalm, you can just set up for the undertaker to come to get her after she is declared, and then they will take it from there. They will inter her on their schedule, and after it's done, they'll let you know.

This is the most economical way to put her to rest. Or you can spend a little more money by having a viewing at the funeral home, and then let them inter her on their schedule.

This is what we did for my grandmother, (we wanted her to be embalmed because grandpap had been embalmed long ago). She had outlived everyone except our immediate family. She had a little bit of insurance money, but certainly not enough for a real funeral, and really, there weren't enough left to be able to fill a church service. Some friends did come for US to the funeral home to pay their respects, kind of like a viewing. Asking the funeral home to do this mad it so that we could spend one night with her dressed up in her sweet dress we had picked out.

Go talk to the funeral home and get all the particulars. I promise you that having most of this figured out in advance will mean so much to you. Get the obituary written and fill out all the paperwork for her file with the funeral home. They will have all this at hand when the time comes, and then you don't have to stay up all night to get it done. Decide how many death certificates you will have to have (they cost about $10 a piece) and make sure that you send copies to each of the credit reporting agencies. (Some scam artists will try to open credit cards in the name of the deceased by looking at the obits - don't put her birthdate in the obit or the address of where she lives.) And if she has life insurance, make sure you have the policies on hand. Part of the funeral home's job is to file insurance for you, so after the death certificates come, they can send all this paperwork for you. Also make sure she has a will so that you don't have to worry about her being intestate, even if she only has a bank account. Hopefully her bank account is in joint name now, so that you have more flexibility. You'll still need to open an account after she dies, and the will is going to help you do that.

Don't forget to file for her social security death benefit, by the way.

There is probably so much to celebrate about this woman's life. I hope that you will all come together and enjoy her memory.

Dawn

My DH's grandmother said, "Throw me a party." So they did. They wore red to celebrate her 90+ years and because in Chinese culture (DH's friend is Chinese) red is celebration. You could have the relative creamated and have whatever kind of memorial you like, and either bury or scatter the ashes or put them on someone's mantle.

My dad just kept my mom's funeral very short that way everyone came at the same time so it seemed like a bit more. I put together a slide show of her life so we could see the people who were already gone.

We had the same situation with my husbands grandmother. We just had a graveside service. Very simple and nice. Those that wanted to go all went out to lunch together afterwards.

Those left behind think that our loved one has the "best seat in the house" the D. of their funeral and they hear all our heartfelt words, but perhaps, they have already been reunited with the loved ones that preceded them. This is my belief and if it is not yours, I hope I did not offend. I don't think it matters how many people are there to pay their respects, but that the people that are there-care and do something special to commemorate the life of their beloved relative. Something meaningful to them-a donation, a special song or prayer, too many flowers.....a special luncheon.....it's your call..........God bless.

We had a tragic death in my husbands family this summer. Although the deceased was young, the funeral was here in MN and since it was a sudden death, few of the families friends (who are all in N.C.) were able to attend. It was pretty much just immediate family. The service was held in the chapel behind the main part of the church. It was very appropriate for the size of the crowd.

Just do a small, intimate ceremony. Most funeral homes have smaller rooms. Since many of the family is already gone, maybe have a nice table set up so remaining family members can bring photos/memorabilia of all family that has passed on.

I'm sorry for your loss, no matter the age, it can be difficult.

Are all your people local? Do you know the wishes of the deceased? You don't necessarily have to have a funeral. When my husband's grandmother died we didn't, although she didn't really want one and we knew that, but still it's a similar situation. We just had a big family lunch and someone put together a slide show of pictures of her and that was basically it. I think if you do something where everyone can get together it will be nice.

You could do a pot luck, have someone host or just go out to a restaurant and get a private room. People can pay their own way if money is an issue, just discuss it first. I would have some pictures or tell people to bring pictures and their favorite stories to tell.

Do what feels right, and I agree an empty funeral parlor might not feel quite right.

My grandmother wanted to be cremated and we had a celebration of life party at my dad's church. We did a slide show with her pictures and had them placed on tables around the hall. It was very nice. If that still feels too big, you can have it at someone's house. If your relative doesn't want to be cremated, you can do a graveside service and then have everyone meet at the church or house.

It's not about the funeral and burying them, it's about honoring their life!

I know our church has a small chapel that is usually used for small funerals.

Just went thru this. My aunt passed away. I was in charge of everything. Two cousins not really involved. So she was cremated (her wish). We will get together and have dinner at her favorite restaurant. I ended up footing the bill for most of funeral home expenses. Long story will not ask them for money. They thinks she had money. She had SS. Nothing else. Went on Medicaid once in nursing home. After paying her bills I was out money. I cannot afford a cemetery plot so here she sits on my mantel.

We attended a funeral recent;y/ They had a viewing the night before.. And on the D. of the funeral just had a very small group gather at the graveside. Anyone that wanted to say anything could..

Took longer to all gather and wait for the hearse, than it did to have the little prayer and memory ceremony..

Then they all went out to a lunch.

My husband and I did not attend the lunch.