Fussy Feeder and Not Napping Long Durring the Day

Hi L.,
Try and find a La Leche League group near you to help with the breast feeding. Also, they have a book called the Womanly Art of Breast Feeding and it's excellent. Even my ob-gyn loved it. good luck:)

My baby would only sleep in my arms too so i bought a sling and i would wear her for 1-2 hours while she napped. it seriously saved my sanity! She's a year old and i still use it on occasion. I have a Hotsling and i love it but there are so many different styles. just find one that works best for you and good luck!

L. - at 3 weeks old, your baby is still very young and adjusting to life outside of the womb. Also, every baby is different and it seems like your baby is the kind that needs to be held a lot. If you're comfortable with it, I'd suggest co-sleeping - you can use an infant positioner to maintain a partition between you and the baby. Also, SLEEP WHEN SHE SLEEPS. You need time and rest to recover, so this is a good way to get that. I personally love to take a nap with my little girl (she's almost 4 months now). We also co-slept for the first three months and then moved her to a bassinet and now a crib.

For breast feeding - it is possible that there is something bothering her while she is feeding. My little one was very similar to yours and it turned out she was sensitive to the cow milk proteins through my dairy-heavy diet. Try cutting out dairy completely from your diet for a few weeks, you may see a difference. They can outgrow this sensitivity, usually around the 10-12 week mark.

You also sound like you need support - stay in touch through MamaSource and maybe go to a La Leche League meeting.

L.,

Try cutting all dairy out of your diet. My now 20 month old was like that. Turns out he's intolerant to both dairy and soy proteins. Once I cut that out of my diet (including dairy and soy hidden in other foods) he was like an entirely different baby and all the fussiness went away. And within 2 weeks he went from barely sleeping to sleeping 4-5 hours at a stretch.

If you decide to cut something like dairy out of your diet, you need to do it for at least a week, if not more. Dairy proteins stay in your system for about a month after you stop eating dairy. With my son, I saw dramatic improvement within a week but he continue to improve for about 3 weeks.

T.

As for breastfeeding, watch your diet. What do you eat that could affect her? Too much dairy? Cut out dairy for a day and see if that helps? Maybe brocolli, tomatos caffine... all those things can bother a newborns tummy. I have a friend that had to go on a very strict diet with each of her babies because it affected the babies during breast feeding.
Good luck. Once you figure this out, she'll change something else, just to keep you on your toes!

L.
Have you tried giving her Mylecon? Its for gassy tummys and can be given at every feeding. Its harmless and it worked for both my sons. Try laying her on your lap with a small hand towel rolled up and place that under her belly and just rub her back and that sometimes help get the gas out. You could also lay her on her back and slowly pump her legs, that always worked for me. Is she latching on well and does she seem be wanting the breast? My friend had a similar problem and it was right around three months of trouble breast feeding and she found out the small piece of skin (sorry dont know the correct medical word for it) underneath our tongues was too short for her son so he had a hard time nursing so they had to snip it and then he was fine. Keep at the nursing-its not an easy thing but its definately worth it for your baby! Good luck and let me know how it goes! One more question...is she only fussy when you try to feed her?
N.

It sounds like it might be reflux to me. Even if your little one doesn't spit up a lot, mine didn't when she was breast fed and it turns out she had a severe case of silent reflux. We didn't do meds until now (she is 6 months old). I really noticed that what I ate made a huge difference. Stay away from acidic foods, citris, tomatoes, chocolate and coffee and see if that helps at all. The classic Reflux newborn cases are babies fussing at the breast or pulling off and arching their back while feeding. To help her sleep, use a swing that so her head is above her tummy. Good luck!

swaddle, swaddle, swaddle. If that doesn't work, try the swing.
~N.

Does she spit up alot? My son was fussy at the breast and had a hard time sleeping. He had reflux. I didn't put him on meds until now, he is almost 3 and now he is sleeping and eating great! up until now he would fight eating, breast or food and not sleep well. Just maybe a thought.
She could also want to be swaddled. my daughter loved to be swaddled and would cry if not.
Good luck.

Google the term 'overactive letdown' and see if this is what you have. At three weeks my baby was the same way, and come to find out this is what our problem was. I started nursing him while laying down, and within several days we were good, and his naps were much better.

Your baby sounds just like my baby, Jaxon. Jax is now 9 months old and doing great, but when he was 2 weeks old he was diagnosed with acid reflux. This is not your common spitting up. Jaxon would cry hysterically all day - and I mean all day. He would also cry at the bottle and pull away from it. Eventually, he refused to eat completely. We had to start doing sleep feeds (rocking him to sleep with his pacifier in and then switching it for the bottle) this was the only way to get food in him. We had to do this for about 6 months! Jax would also not sleep without me holding him until one month ago. Even when I was holding him he would wake up screaming. So I simply held him.
I met with several pediatric gastroenterologists to try to help him. There is medicine for the reflux - Jax just didn't respond well to it. But finally, the reflux doesn't seem to bother him as much and eventually I just laid him down to sleep in his crib. The first time he woke up after 20 minutes but I just let him cry (it was about a painful 30 minutes of crying) but then he went back to sleep for an hour. The next nap he cried for 10 minutes and then slept for 3 hours! It was a miracle. He has been sleeping on his own ever since.

Sorry for the long story, but it was such an ordeal for me.

I would recommend seeing your pediatrician about it. It could be acid reflux, an allergy to the milk, or another feeding problem. From there your ped. can direct you to a GI specialist if needed.

I hope this helps.

Reflux mom

I am a Mom to 2 boys (3.5 year and 10 weeks) and I could go on forever about the things I have changed the 2nd time now that I know more and feel more confident.. but most of what I learned was from a book called On Becoming Baby Wise.. It helps to get babies on a schedule.. it helps you to realize it is ok for babies to cry.. And sometimes they will wake as they are transitioning from different sleep modes.. My son currently wakes about every 45 minutes, but if I let him fuss for a while he falls right back to sleep for another 45 minutes.. When he wakes crying I know he is not ready to get up.. when he wakes up cooing, he is ready to get up and eat..
With my first he would spit up all the time after feeding.. will more than spit up.. it was a lot!! And this one has started it too.. so what I have started to do is to pump and give him the bottle.. then 1) I can see how much he is getting and I can see when it deviates.. 2) HE HAS STOPPED SPITTING UP.. and no more gas or crying.. it is a pain but well worth it..
And with this baby, I have him sleep on his tummy. I know everyone tells you not too.. but he sleeps better that way.. He slept on his side the first few weeks.. and then during nap time I would put him on his tummy, so I could watch him. Then eventually at hight time (but in a pack n play in our room, so I could hear him). And now at 10 weeks his sleeps in his crib (and he has done so since I noticed he could turn his head from side to side) on his tummy and sleeps about 8 hours at night.. and takes 1.5 -2.5 hour naps.
And defintiely your diet will affect baby..
Good luck..

My son was similar when it came to napping. Actually, the first three weeks he slept only an hour or two in his crib. He slept on us most of the time. I think he enjoyed the comfort of being close to us and our heartbeats, kind of like he was in the womb. I'm sure it's scary to enter the world after living in small quiet comfort for 9 months. Just enjoy this time that your baby lets you hold her to sleep. It may add to the overwhelmingness of being a new mommy, but eventually they won't want to sleep in your arms anymore and you will miss it. My 11 month old won't nap on me anymore. He started sleeping at night in his crib at 7 weeks instead of our arms or in a crib right next to us. By 4 months he had stopped taking naps on us too. Just enjoy yourself and the excuse that you can't get up and do anything because you are holding a sleeping baby : )

La Leche League is a great suggestion. I had a friend who had a similar problem and they helped a lot. She is still breastfeeding and her baby is 9 months old now. I only had this problem breastfeeding when I would get tense and my milk wouldn't drop. That frustrates the baby. Remember that it will happen, this is all normal, and sometimes babies get fussy. Breath and try again. I used to put on a dvd of sex and the city because it would distract me and put Luka on my breast. Also make sure you are feeding your little one every 3 hours, even at night. It will insure that you produce enough milk. I don't know if you've already passed this window or not... It's been a while since I've breast fed. Luka is 21 months old now and stopped by himself at 8months. He was all about the solids. hahaha. Don't give up yet, the first couple of weeks are really tough when it comes to breast feeding but once you get the bumps worked out it's great. It's so convenient and comforting for you and your baby. There's also the health benefits.

As for the napping. I know it's nice to rest the arms but don't worry too much if she won't go down for a nap in her crib yet. You don't really need to be concerned about that routine until about 3 months. I started with Luka then and he's went into a great nap routine and still is. A sling will work or with Luka I bought a little bed thing that I could put on the couch and I layed him in that in the living room. He slept great there.

My baby girl was similar to yours. It was so difficult so I can imagine how you're feeling.

As for the naps, what worked great for me was putting her in a sling (I just gave up on the crib, or placing her down for awhile). I put her in the new native sling and she would sleep peacefully for hours at a time while I was able to carry on with things around the house.

There are also studies that show that this type of closeness to mommy is good for bonding as well as calming fussy babies. I think they say 'wearing' your baby for three hours a day is optimal. The pump station was very helpful in fitting me with the right size (they're in hollywood and santa monica). Take advantage of some help with this as if you do end up wearing your baby for a while, the right size will make all the difference in comfort.

Also, my baby did not like the sling at first.. I gave up, then a friend told me to try again. They may resist briefly, but, will get used to it. Just put her in and move around.

Also, as far as the feeding. After seeing many lactation consultants, we found that I had an overactive let-down. This caused her discomfort in feeding. We tried some new positions which helped ease the flow and she became more comfortable.

Feel free to email me if you have any questions..

All the best..

I would go and check with a Lactation Consultant... just to make sure she is latching on properly and actually "sucking" properly.

She's only 3 weeks old.. .there is LOTS for them to adjust too. Getting into a "pattern" of napping/sleep may not be set yet for her. Generally, infants/newborns sleep a lot.

She may also be fussing because she is "over-tired." Over tired babies/children actually do not sleep better.. .they actually have a harder time sleeping and falling asleep.

Try putting your baby down before she actually falls asleep... and yes, try swaddling. At this age, they have involuntary reflexes and "startle reflexes" and their arms/legs flail and they can't control it yet... and when this happens it wakes them. As they mature... past 6 months of age, the "startle reflex" will naturally lessen/diminish.

She may also have gas problems... or is having a hard time sucking... or sometimes the "let-down" is not fast enough so the baby gets impatient for the milk to come out, hence fussing. OR, conversely, sometimes the let-down is too fast and thus is causes them to fuss.

There can be many reasons. But yes, check with the Lactation Consultant.. to make extra sure. You don't want an infant to lose intake or not get enough intake... sometimes if they are always hungry they fuss/cry also.

For naps, try putting her down as the same time, everyday. Have a routine everyday... a baby will "learn" and adjust to nap/bed time routines.

A baby has a pattern of: wake up, nurse/feed, awake time/play, sleep. There is a window of about 2-3 hours (shorter for newborns) of "awake" time before they get tired again and NEED a nap. Look for their sleepy signals as well. At t his age, even a bath & diaper change is an "activity" and part of their awake time.

She probably sleeps in your arms for the comfort and it is snuggly. Thus, swaddling her may help. Also, it is just a natural instinct for a baby to want to be close and bond with Mommy. They even "know" your smell and voice by now. It's instinctual.

A baby does need naps, it helps their brain development as well. Keep trying. Or, yes, get a swing or rocker etc.

Good luck and take care. Just make sure she is getting enough intake though, nursing on demand etc.

~Susan

Hi L. Y,I am a old time mom and a grandmother of triplets which I helped with the 1st year of their life. So if experience makes me creditable then I have plenty. Unfortunately babies are not a exact science, as you have probably been told, but I feel for you and hope some words of wisdom will bring you a more happy baby. About you breast milk, it might be being affected by what you eat. If the food you eat gives you gas, then baby will have gas. A healthy bland diet usually stops the gas, lots of different raw vegetables are gaseous, of course beans are a no no. pay attention to when baby is most uncomfortable and what you ate a hour or two ago, fruit makes milk sweet without gas, protein is good. About sleeping, I found near all babies want to hear someone around, think in the womb they slept through all noises. Try laying down on your bed a couple few days, with baby while she goes to sleep. Then you can get up after she's out, don't worry about being still or even quiet, she knows your there. In time the feel of the mattress will trigger a sleep response and she can graduate to her own bed, also find a musical toy and consistently turn it on when you want her to sleep(another asleep trigger mechanism.) Pat her slowly and gently and take a snooze yourself, relax!!!! As a new born, give her a 3 min. time line for light crying, anymore time then that is debatable, I say not good for little ones, later when they figure you out is another story, but now they dont play those games. Stay calm, be happy and understanding.

Sometimes at that stage, it helps to lean back a bit while you nurse so it doesn't overwhelm them all at once. About the sleeping, have you tried a bouncer or swing? Sometimes even laying them on a quilt on the floor with toys near you as you are doing chores... they like to know you're nearby, but will zonk out on the floor. Then try the crib again in a few weeks. They should be sleeping pretty much everytime after you feed them. Baby Wise is a helpful book. Good luck and DON"T give up on breast feeding, THE BEST thing you can ever do for your child!

the trouble w/ napping is normal...babes don't know how to fall asleep and need help..also the 1st 3 months is called the 4th trimester and most babies want to be "on" mommy the whole 3 months..i thought it was the hardest time of all. A lot of times i just napped my son in the bjorn while i did things or i would sit at the computer w/ him on a firm pillow on my lap. What really worked was i would nurse him on a firm pillow then when he'd fall asleep i'd carry him on the pillow and place him in the bassinet...and sneak off...sometimes he'd wake but a lot of times it really worked...honestly i would have been lost w/out the bassinet. As for the fussiness..could be your letdown is either too fast or too slow...my right boob was slower than my left and my son prefered the right but then it made my left boob stop making as much milk. If you're in LA you might want to go by the Pump Station and check out a breast feeding class or talk to a lactation consultant.

Hi! L.,

I am an grandma who was pregnant and/or nursing for 9 1/2 years. The first thing that I would suggrest is that you looking in the white pages for LaLache League. If there is a group in your area, they will give you free help. They are all experienced breastfeeding Moms.

Second, even if you don't feel it, you are probably up thight and that keeps your milk from letting down, keeping your daughter from getting the cream rich milk. That would keep her from sleeping for very long.

Start a routine every time you sit down to nurse. Sit down with a glass of water (or whatever, put your feet up or find a comfortable position. Use pillows or whatever it takes,so that you can relax.

Your most important job in the whole world is to nurse this baby. That means that everything else in the world can wait until she is eating well and getting the rest that she needs. There is nothing else that is important for you to do, except maybe go to the bathroom and feed yourself. Staying in your pjs is not out of the question.

Think about those things that comfort you. A nice cup of tea, a small glass of wine, a hot bath... What ever that is is what you should be doing. Don't forget to drink a lot of water. You can't make milk if you don't drink water.

Another thing that can effect your milk production is you being tried. I know that with my first, I felt really good and would carry on as I usually did. Your body has just gone thru the hardest work you will ever do (that's why they call it labor). You need to nap or at the least rest when the baby does sleep.

About her not sleeping in her bed, maybe you can try laying down with her and nurse her to sleep in a position that she doesn't need to be moved. Also, she might not like to be layed down on a cool surface. It might wake her up. Try put her down on a warm blanket so she doesn't feel the difference in tempature.

I hope that this helps.

I had the same issues around the same time. My daughter is now almost 7 weeks old. Her weight gain and diaper counts were fine, but she was screaming constantly!!! I had to supplement my breast milk w/ formula (although probably not necessary, but helps to get her a bit fuller...) and put her on a bottle just so she would eat. I can pump enough milk, but she seems to be impatient-- a bit disheartening for me, but I'm grateful that she is doing better and eating at all!!! Even now, she enjoys caressing the nipple for a short time, then seems to get frustrated and refuses shortly after.

And yes, her fussiness can be due to gas. Burp for as long as it takes-- 15-30 minutes. Even if you're done feeding, burping, keep at it... we've found that she will burp at the oddest times...

Yes-- do swaddle. It can seem a bit inhumane, but as mentioned-- it is what the baby is used to in the womb. My daughter twitches like crazy!!! The swaddling soothes her and helps her (and myself) get a better rest. Even if she is swaddled, I do keep her on my chest for the comfort of the heartbeat. A friend bought me the "Miracle Blanket" from the Pump Station. It's a specific swaddle blanket if you are unsuccessful with others. It has flaps to hold down the arms and wraps around the body and has a pocket for the feet.

If you would like to continue swapping notes and stay in touch-- I'm a 1st time mom currently at home by myself as well. :-) Feel free-- N.: ____@____.com

I can't help you with the breastfeeding, I was unsuccessful at it myself. But I will say that if you can talk to a lactation consultant, do it, and right away. They might be able to help you. If you can get to Carlsbad, there was a free breast-feeding support group there (this was 3 years ago when I had my first baby) that met Fridays at "Mommas Pump" at 10am and there were lactation consultants there to offer free help.
Her difficulty sleeping during the day could be related to her trouble feeding, but not necessarily. Both of my babies had a really hard time with napping for the first few months. I had them on a schedule, which was great for their nighttime sleep (they slept through the night very early on) but the daytime naps were a struggle. Especially with my second baby. I was so stressed out about his lack of daytime sleeping and I would CRY. For the first few months, I would do whatever it took to get him to nap, even drive him in the car or put him in the swing (two things I didn't want to do so I wouldn't develop "bad habits") and he wouldn't take a pacifier. The good news is this did not last forever. I kept trying, and by his third month, he was getting better and I had him on a good nap routine by the time he was in his fourth month. Just hang in there. This is a difficult time but it will get better soon. I do suggest two things for the sleeping, #1) swaddle her tight - my babies LOVED this, if you don't know how to do a good swaddle, send me a message and I will explain it the best I can in words, and #2) a sleep positioner - we got one at Babies R Us for about $20, it had a little memory foam pillow and two side wedges to keep the baby snug in place. Between the swaddling and the sleep positioner, it kept our babies in a very snug, tight little spot for sleeping, which is very comforting when they are so young. And other than that, just keep trying and she should settle in to some good daytime sleeping habits after a couple/few months.

My daughter got fussy on the breast as well. I went to a lactation nurse (Bright Beginnings and Beyond in Redondo Beach). We weighed her before I nursed her and then weighed her when I was done nursing to see how much milk she was getting. Turned out she was not getting enough milk and was hungry. You may or may not have enough milk, your baby may or may not be latching on well enough to get the milk. Do try to find a lactation consultant to try and help you, you will feel a lot better. Good luck!

This DVD will make the rest of this first year so much easier for you:

Surviving and Thriving During Your Baby's First Year (www.babygroupvideo.com)

You will get a lot of helpful info to help w/this and everything else you will be dealing w/in the coming months.

Mylecon helped my first son and Gripe Water (avail at homeopathic drug stores) helped my second.

Swaddling is essential. Create a nap ritual and try not to deviate from it. If you are patient, it will work: try -- closing her shades/curtains, turning on white noise, shushing, swaddling and telling her "it's time for sleep" -- it sounds kind of crazy -- it's all on the dvd, but my first son (4 1/2) has excellent sleep habits and my 6 month old sleeps thru the night, falls asleep on his own, and takes a few good naps during the day -- and this was accomplished w/little crying. Good luck!

Hi L., first of all congratulations on your new baby. I never breast fed, but many of my daycare moms have, and I have heard this problem before, and it was usually one of two things, one your milk flow may not be satisfying your baby so she gets frustrated or, something you may have eaten that has alltered the taste of your milk, I had one mom tell me that everytime she ate fish, her baby would cry when she tried to feed her, and then also somtimes the baby would get sick from her milk after eating fish, another mom told me the same thing bu8t for her it was spicy food, it could be your diet, or the flow of your milk. If it does not appear to be either one of those, maybe other advice will come in that can help, but if all advice fails, talk to her pediatrician. i know my mom tied to breast feed us kids but for some reason her milk wasn't any good, with any of her 5 babies, i think back now that it may have been cause she smoked. J.