Get Him to Eat by Himself

Best solution is no milk in the morning until he eats and make him stay there until he eats. Eventually he will get the idea and stay there. No movies, no toys, it makes for too much distraction then they are not focusing in the task at hand. I had to do this with my daughter and she now eats with almost no problem.

Good Day Mae,

What worked for us is as they got older and would get fussy with eating in their high chair is letting them sit at the table on a regular chair. Yes all you see at the table is their eyes because they sit so low BUT it worked for us and they ate.It makes them feel independent and they like to be like Mom and Dad.

I hope this helps.

A little about me: I'm a work from home Mom of 4 with a home based business that my Family Loves to help me with.
www.trisharay.candlebizfromhome.com

i've learned that when i try to force my kids to eat, they won't. so i wait until they tell me they're hungry. i even will make them tell me a few times before i get them anything - to make sure they are hungry and will eat. if they aren't really hungry then they just want to snack and won't finish.
try cutting out some snacks so he'll be more hungry at meal time.
try not to let your mother in law get to you. we never seem to be good enough for them! and the fact that she lives with you just gives her more ammo against you. you're the mom- do it your way!

Mae,

Personally, I think you need to give him food that he can pick up with his fingers (cut fruit, little pieces of bread, or other little snacks) without any tv. This is probably a learned behavior. He may fuss at first but if he's hungry, I'm sure he will eat. I have a 15 mth old who is not always hungry( he's too busy wanting to explore and such). Gradually, give him foods he can eat with a spoon.

Wait for your child to give you signs that he is hungry (especially at snack time). Maybe, skip snack and then he may eat more during lunch and dinner. You may have to adjust your schedule to meet his needs.

Hope this helps!!
D.

Are you sure he just doesn't like what you're feeding him? For instance, my kids hated boiled vegetables, but would always eat raw ones (sliced cucumber, peppers, etc.) with some low-fat dressing as a dip. It made a great snack, and then I didn't have to worry if they didn't eat vegetables at dinner. Also, fruit is sweeter than vegetables, so maybe for one of the meals (breakfast, lunch) you could give him cut-up fruit or applesauce or bananas. We used to do cut-up apples with peanut butter for snack, which the kids loved.

Instead of a high-chair, does he have a little table with a chair that he can use, at least for snack time and lunch? Maybe he just doesn't like sitting in the highchair. Or you could get a booster seat for one of the kitchen chairs. I know you think you'll lose control, but if you make him feel like a big boy for sitting there, it might be fine.

I'm surprised there is no snack after nap. Maybe you should shift one of your meal choices (the veggies or some fruit) to the 4:00 snack. He'll be hungry, and won't have to sit as long at dinner because part of his meal has already been taken care of. Maybe you'll luck out and can slip him fruits and veggies both at snack time and at dinner.

Good luck! Just remember to try not to make it into a control issue. We used to say that they had to eat as many bites as their age. My doctor always says that they won't starve themselves.

My son is also about the same age as yours. I found that going into a battle of wills with a 2 year is a loosing proposition. I try to make meals that he would like. However I don't make him something entirely different than ours. I found that some days he doesn't seem to eat anything and then other days it seems like he eats more than us!! One thing that we did, because he like your son started to fight us about getting in the high chair, was to get a booster seat that fits in our regular chairs. It seems now he likes to sit thru meals better as he feels like a big boy and is sitting in a regular chair just like the rest of us. He started to eat more with us also.
I agree about getting rid of the DVD.
Also kudos to you for living with your MIL. They would have to cut my tongue off and medicate me. You must have the patience of a saint!!

I too used to worry that my little ones weren't getting enough to eat. But, they pretty much start to develop an interest of doing it for themselves when they are ready. And, I've never had any starve-- they will eat if they are hungry. Just make sure that you provide healthy food options and plenty of activity and he'll be wanting food and wanting to do it himself.

Hey Mae. It does sound like you are feeding him a lot of food. One of the biggest and most important things i learned after having kids was that we teach them to stop listening to their bodies by making them eat "just three more bites" when their bodies are naturally built to tell them when to stop.

It also sounds like you could cut out the juice. if you are givng him fresh fruit, he doesn't need the juice. it is overrated and just empty calories which could be filling him up.

does he like cheese? maybe you could sub like the morning milk for some cheese in scrambled eggs or something so that he is still getting a dairy, just n a different form, a food form.

my kids:
breakfast: usually 1/2 to 1 piece toast, 1/2 banana or scrambled egg, 1/2 banana, oj or milk
snack: fruit, goldfish
lunch: mac-n-cheese w/ broccoli made with plain yogurt(like 1/2 cup or so) water
snack: cheese, yogurt
dinner:whatever we're eating, milk
with all of this, they eat until they're done, no forcing

otherwise, i believe there is no need to stress over how much kids eat, but rather that we are giving them the right, healthy options.

It also sounds lke you are being pressured by your mother-n-law. You need to remember that you are the mother and your m-i-l raised her children. your son is yours and you call the shots. maybe you should gently talk to her and let her know how you want to do things and eventhough they may not be the way she thinks they should be, it's your decison.

good luck!

Mae,
I feel your pain! LOL If ONLY I could go back in time and do some things differently.
My son is 5 and although he eats EVERYTHING (shrimp, mushrooms, beets!) he does not like to take the time to sit and eat. I could literally count on two hands the # of times he has asked for food or drink. He just has NO interest in taking the time to eat.
The things I feel I did right with his eating: Offer everything, don't make a fuss about a new food, get him excited about trying new things (he will take a HUGE bite of anything he's trying for the first time), don't make a special kid meal, don't give too much of the fast food/kid meal stuff when you're out (waste of money--just split whatever YOU order with him), choose healthy food & snacks.
Things I would change: Since myself, DH, Grandma/pap were the caregivers, we tended to FEED him in order to do it faster, better, less messy, etc. We also begged, bribed, pleaded with him to eat., I should have let him sit and make a HUGE mess and eat by himself.
At age 5, I no longer make an issue out of how MUCH he eats. When he gets down & walks away, that's it--the food goes to the trash or to the dog. No warming it up again, etc. If he won't come to the table when called, we start eating without him. No dinner-no dessert or sweets for his pre-bedtime snack.
I guess overall, I would tell you not to worry about how much he's eating. Kids know what they need. Sometimes they eat like snakes--a LOT O. day & very little the next. Trust that he knows when he's hungry & let him do it by himself. If he won't eat a meal, end it. Believe me, he'll be ready for the next O.! Better to deal with this now than later (like me). It is maddening! He will not starve, I promise! Especially with Grammy in the house!
Maybe cut out a snack--he may not be hungry enough at meal time. See if he asks for something.
Also, I would NOT do the DVD at the table. I don't think it's good to train a kid to robotically shovel food in as they watch tv or a movie. They need to be mindful eaters--conscious of when they're hungry & when they're full & need to stop. Hey--I still need to learn that! Good luck.

Hi! I agree, maybe too much food.....also, he shouldn't have so much milk. I thought giving my 2 year old milk a lot was a good idea- until she got 2 cavities from it. The dentist said they should not have any milk between meal times or after dinner. The milk sits on thier teeth and destroys them since there is nothing to help with the digestion (no food). I do think also, that the DVD needs to go away- that will be a really hard habit to break. Good luck!!

I'd start by getting rid of the snacks...since you work from home, I'd wait till the weekend just in case it makes him fussy between meals. I'd up the protein content in what he's eating, so that even if he doesn't eat much of it he's still getting enough of what he needs. Does he eat what you eat when you eat? It sounds like you're feeding him alone in the kitchen rather than the whole family sitting at the dining room table together and interacting. Children model what their parents do, so if he sits with you, he'll eventually want to copy you. My 26 month old has always eaten whatever we have, and I know he'd be bored silly by the same foods over and over, plus he really dislikes bland things.

As an example, here's what he ate yesterday:
9:00 breakfast: hard-boiled eggs and toast, OJ
12:00 lunch: turkey sandwich with lettuce and tomato, pretzels,
4:00 snack(older siblings home from school): cheese and crackers (he likes sharp cheddar the best)
6:30 dinner: penne with sausage and vodka sauce, garlic bread, salad and milk.
For dessert, we had chopped up strawberries and apples.

I think that he eats a reasonable amount of widely varied foods. Some things he likes, some things not so much. By feeding your son the same foods over and over, if that's actually what you're doing, then you're running a good chance of creating a picky eater who won't try new things.

Oh, and I'd definitely replace the milk with water...milk is filling and, combined with his snacks, not allowing him to get hungry enough to really eat at mealtimes. Also, I might have misunderstood, but are you still spoon-feeding him? He's more than old enough to use a fork and spoon and feed himself, and that might make him more interested in the whole process.

Good luck!

Ok, make sure that it is finger foods that he can manage. Other than that, if he's hungry, he will eat. Don't feel guilty if he isn't hungry. His appetite may not be what you expect but that doesn't mean there is something wrong. Maybe try smaller meals more often, or maybe stretching the time out between meals. Otherwise, he will eat when he's hungry. If your MIL would like to sit and argue with a 2 year old to eat, then by all means let her LOL. BTW, I'd get rid of the TV/DVD. Might be just way too much going on and he can't focus.

first of all don't let mother in law guilt trip you at all. The funny some like to feed way too much and then others comment if they 5 lbs overweight. It's your child and need to make sure that you and your husband explain that to her. Food won't be the only problem going forward.

eggs, hot dogs each day too much.

give the milk with the food.

lunch cut the yougurt and give that as the snack at 4 or fruit.

How is his weight? if fine, healthy then just make small changes and get rid of tv cold turkey and have a few days of screaming but will end. Make sure don't give milk, water or juice unless they eat some first.

I agree with the suggestion about the booster seat at the table. He will feel more grown up. Also, give him bite sized pieces of food and let him use a child's spoon and fork if you haven't done so yet. They do eat when they're hungry and as you said, his stomach is only the size of his fist. Children learn by example and I think if you allow him to sit and eat with the grownups when possible, he'll do better over time. Also, take the food away if he doesn't want to eat, and make him get down from the table. He will be good and hungry at the next meal. The more you make an issue about food, the more he will because it gets your attention.

Very simple. Just stop turning on the TV/DVD. You've created the situation and now he's playing you. : )

I would probably cut that morning snack for the first few days just to be sure that he is very hungry for lunch. Then, he'll eat what he needs and nap fine.

My girls are 28 months ... some days they eat better then others, but it's at the same time every day and there are no threats used. They will eat what they need.

Good luck! Working from home is tough. I know because i do it.

Maybe quit snack time so he's more hungry at meal times. Good Luck!

Hi! How about you get rid of 1 or 2 milk servings, and get rid of the juice.. replace w/ water. I think they only need 2 milk servings per day.. so 1 yogurt and 1 cup milk.
That should make him hungrier.

Don't let your Mother-in-Law interfere or make you feel guilty! It sounds like you're doing a great job as a mom!!!