Getting Baby in His Own Crib.

Try reading The No Cry Sleep Solution. It'll give you a perspective on letting the baby cry it out, as well as suggest alternatives. Good luck.

The Baby Whisperer book gives a lot of great advice on getting them to sleep in their own crib without crying it out.

Hi! You say that you "need to get him out of your bed and into his own" - why? If your baby is happiest in your bed (and therefore sleeping better), why not keep it up? There are plenty of ways to make it comfortable for all of you to be together. And, you said that you are all not sleeping as well as you could - that is to be expected - you have a baby!! I find it perplexing that we have babies, knowing full well that most likely they're going to keep us awake for the first year or so, and then after they're a few months old, we are disappointed when we're not getting the sleep that we used to and we want to make THEM cry it out to "learn" to sleep better when we are the ones who need to learn to be patient. It doesn't make sense! My advice is to do whatever makes the baby happiest because that will then make you the happiest which should also make your husband the happiest. And, in terms of making your baby cry their lungs out in the crib, it's simply neglect. If you know that your baby NEEDS (and to babies this young, everything is a need) your comfort and to be by you, by letting it cry by itself in the crib while you sit there knowing full well what would make him stop, you are abandoning your sweet child who wants nothing more than to be near you. Don't let people fool you - there is no such thing as training a baby to sleep. All that does is train them to lower their expectations of you as their parent - "When I cry, no one comes for me." If there were such thing as sleep training, insomnia and other sleep disorders would not exist. Good luck and listen to your heart - please don't make your baby cry its eyes out so you can get more sleep!

Start a ritual that begins before bedtime. After breast or bottlefeeding the last feed of the day, use a wash cloth to run over his gums and/or teeth. It will get him used to having his teeth cleaned. Then rock and read or sing and if you pray thank God for your family and asking God to bless you. With my grandaughter I do as I did with my children, I have a little doll or stuffed animal and I say, "hug the baby" and put them into teh crib with the doll. Remove it once he is asleep but it may comfort him. He needs to develop self-soothing with talking and it may include a little crying but after 3 nights you should find he goes down ok. You adn your husband need to stay close, the saying "if you want to do something nice for your kids, work on your marriage" is true. You are on teh right track!

You have to be cruel to be kind,,,and let him cry. He will eventually go to sleep...the second night he may cry for a shorter period and so on. Dont give in...it will dawn on him that his crying is not getting him anywhere.. So long as you know he is fed, dry and no wind Id let him cry. Believe me it will be harder on you just listening to him. With my third one neighbour thought I was killing her but it only lasted two nights. Its not healthy for the baby, and also the relationship between you and your husband.

A.,
First off, there's nothing wrong with having the baby in your bed unless you don't want him there. It sounds like you're not sleeping well so transitioning to the crib is probably a good idea for your family. But remember, he's going from a cozy warm spot next to his mama to a cold crib. I also recommend Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution", although no book is perfect. You're going to have to figure out what works best for you and your baby. Try not to make the crib the enemy - let him spend time playing in there with some of his favorite toys, take naps in there...it may be a slow transition but know that it will happen. Please do not let your baby "cry it out" in his crib. It will only teach that his needs are not important enough to be met and that the world is not the safe place he thought it was (this is from a psychological perspective - plus it just breaks my heart).
Good luck.
A.

A great resource is the book No Cry Sleep Solutions by Elizabeth Pantley...she has suggestions on how to gently get your child to sleep better wherever it is you choose to have them sleep at night.
Good luck!

Hi A....

The "experts" will tell you to let him cry it out and not pick him up, just pat his bottom or rub his back. That didn't work for me! You're right, it is SO hard to let them cry it out, especially when it's your first child. My second child, who came 3 and a half years later, was a different story...she slept through the night at age 6 and a half months, and it was a lot easier to let her cry. The best advice I can give, is to go with what feels right to you...children, especially babies are very unpredictable; what works one night,doesn't always work the next...know that this is normal, you are normal too. Good Luck. C.

Hi!

I had the same situation, only that my baby was 12 months old still sleeping in our bed. I know, I know, but he would not accept crib at all. He would cry so bad, he would puke.
We decided to try the crib again last month. He is 17 months now. I assembled the crib without one side rail. Then I put the crib all the way to my bed-my side of the bed. He sleeps in his crib but he can still touch me or come close to me.

It worked the first night I tried this and he loves his crib. I think that is the best transition to his bed I could have chosen for him. I also start reading him and doing the puzzle on the bed instead in the living room.

Good luck!

I read a great book called BabyWise. It explains the sleep/wake cycles of babies. Without going in great detail the key to getting your baby in their own bed is to have a routine you follow each night. You can give the last feeding, a bath, read a little story then down to bed. It will be difficult at first but you baby will get used to the routine, remember what to expect and gain comfort from the routine each night. When he fusses at night go in an pat on the back or stroke the tummy to show you're there but do not pick up except for a last resort. It will be tough at first for both of you but eventually you'll know the different cries and know when to let him cry and when to pick him up. Good luck. You can do it. I did . . . four times.

Do NOT put cereal in a bottle! It can cause choking and crib death, according to infant CPR instructors. You are force-feeding solids when you do that. With my first one i thought he had to be in a crib and we were all miserable until my husband said "bring him to bed with us." What a miracle! I could nurse easily and we all got more sleep. Babies need skin to skin contact for healthy emotional development, the more you can give the better. Use the crib as a safe place during the day, or use it for toys and blankets. A breastfed baby who sleeps with mom has a near zero crib death rate, even if she smokes! Brain wave studies show moms and babies have synchronized brain waves when they co-sleep. Many cultures do it as the norm. I am a medical professional and a mom, but you can find out more about this on the net. Good luck. P.S. Babywise is not a book I recommend. Some of it's advice is dangerous, particularly about newborns. I realize your infant is older tho.

Hi A.
We went thru this with both our children at 6 months and again at 9 months. Habit forming starts up at about 6 months so this is the time you need to be stong. If you don't want him in your bed every night you need to tough it out now. What worked for us was the crying out method. After 5 minutes, go into the room, rub his back but don't talk, and definately don't pick him up. The only sound I would do was the sushing sound for a minute or so. After a few minutes leave the room. Give it 10 minutes and repeat, then 15 minutes repeat, adding 5 minutes to time intervals until he's put himself to sleep. We went 30 minutes in between visits once with our daughter. It was painful but after 3 nights each of them stopped crying and put themselves to sleep. This is the time they need to learn to self-sooth. Our son is now 11 months old and he just started up again. But we have found that he will cry for about a minute then he's done. So it really can work!
Good luck from one sleep deprived mom to another!

Look up "Sleepy Planet" and check out their site. They offer a lot of great advice. There are so many methods to try. Do a little investigating and see what works for you. We did the sleepy planet method and it worked for us and I know a lot of other moms who it worked for as well. It's a little cry it out - a little check in. The DVD is very helpful because you actually see parents in action. I just read someone's advice about not being able to sleep train. Sleeping is a learned habit - to fall asleep is learned. They have learned how to do it one way (on the breast, in your arms) but they have not learned how to put themselves to sleep. It is heartbreaking to hear them cry but it is also a beautiful thing now to watch my son put himself to sleep without a peep. I still go in if he's teething or sick and nurse and comfort but otherwise he knows how to put himself to sleep and it is so cute to watch. I know MANY people who have sleep trained and in about 2 - 3 days and all are happy.

Once you place him in the crib, do not lift him out of the crib to comfort him.
You can go back into the room to comfort. Rub his back, talk to him softly, even sing a song, but do not let him get out of the crib. He is going to cry, but he will get the picture within a few evenings that this is now his bed to sleep in, alone.

Put him in his crib at all times to sleep. He will evntually get used to it. He will cry close the door and don't go back in till he is a sleep for your own comfort knowing that he is ok. If you don't break it now it will only get harder. It doesn't hurt for them to cry. In fact it builds up their lungs.

Don't go back and forth from your bed to his. It confuses them. It will get easier. If you stay pursistent they will too. Don't give in.

Hi A.,

Do you have a little swing set? We have one in our son's room and if he wakes up in the middle of the night for a feeding, he rarely ever feels like going back to sleep. We end up just popping him in the swing and let it rock him back to sleep.

I would never suggest leaving your baby to cry himself to sleepy. It makes babies feel "abandoned."

Hi A.,

At six months you can put a little bit of baby cereal in his bottle so that he is kept happier when being put down to sleep. I had to deal with the same situation when my youngest and we purchased a crib safe musical toy that was attached at the babies level and she would play with it until she fell asleep. Just remember to keep the volume on low so that everyone else can sleep. Be strong, once you create an environment that keeps him entertained he will forget about sleeping in your bed. And just remember to keep him out of your bed at all times.
Good luck,
M.

I had similar trouble, so we made sure all naps were taken in the crib. I recorded myself singing and reading stories and would play those when put her down. I also added a blanket under the sheet so that things were softer and more like my mattress. I had the most success with making things softer and more snuggly. You need to be careful so that things aren't too fluffy so there isn't concern about the baby burying his face in the fluff and not being able to breathe. I would also get my pajamas on at the same time as the baby and then would use my t-shirt as a blanket so she could feel and smell me even when I wasn't there. After a while the t-shirt wasn't needed so I stopped.

Think about the things that make your bed more comfortable and try to create that for him in his bed.

Dear A.,

Just keep on working on it and he will get the idea that this is his own territory. Just do not give in one single time or you will have more to do than ever. Don't give up, it will not hurt him to cry. But you do have to monitor his voice and check on him, and give him love and reassurance, but do not give in and pick him up - if you have to change and clean him up, just do it all in the crib. All will be o.k., but it is a bit of a struggle. Now is the time for all brave moms to come to the aid of baby getting used to his own bed. O.K.? C. N.

I did it and I know how hard it is. C.

A.,
We co-slept until 4 months and then set his crib up in our room next to our bed for a month. Then we moved it into the nursery right across from our room and we started putting him there for naps. At night, I slept on the futon in the same room for about 2 weeks, so he had me close by and could still hear my breathing and I could nurse him quickly. By that time he slept in there by himself (we have a monitor by our bed) and he has been fine. Whenever I try to bring him into my bed for naps with me, he seems to not like it anymore. He loves the space to roll around in his crib. Some people will tell you to let your baby cry and that if he's fed and dry it is fine to do that. Those are not the only needs of a baby. They ALSO need to be held and cuddled and this is not manipulation at 6 months - or even a year! It is our job and privilege to hold and love our babies too - not just during the day or when it's convenient for us - but sometimes in the middle of the night too. Your baby will finally sleep on his/her own. My baby has only slept through the night 3 times in 6.5 months. He is up 3-5 times every night. I remind myself that I chose to be a mom and he must need me for more than nursing and I feel very special that this child wants to be with me so much. Good Luck!
D.

Hi A..

I used a book called "On becoming Babywise" to sleep train my baby to be a good sleeper and it worked really good. Based on that book my advice is:

1. It takes a few days up to 1 week to get a baby used to a new routine, but you have to make sure it is the same routine every day and not change it. He will get used to it if you stick to it for that long.

2. Unless you follow some sort of feeding/sleeping schedule during the day, it's not always easy to get babies to sleep through the night. But if during the day you have certain times you stick to (within 10-15 minutes or so) when you feed him, then his naps are regular (you put him down for naps even if he does not seem to need it right away), the night sleep should work good.

3. The last thing I know is that you should have him nap and sleep in the same place, in this case the crib. Of course if you travel there might be exception, but always put him down for naps and night sleep in his crib.

Again, it really takes a little consistency and within 1 week of a routine he should be totally fine. Or you can get the book and read it as I found it the best technique for sleep.

Good luck and get some sleep;)

I.