C.K.
I love my laundry routine--I use homemade laundry detergent, white vinegar as a fabric softener, wash everything in cold water, and air dry.
Homemade detergent:
Equal parts Borax, Arm & Hammer Washing Soda, and grated Fels Naptha soap. Fels Naptha can also be used as stain "pre-treater". I have tried a lot the stain treatments on the market, and Fels Naptha is the best, hands down. This detergent is very concentrated--you only need 1-2 tablespoons per load. This seems like an impossibly small amount, but it works.
I also add 1/2 cup of white vinegar to each load. It is a natural odor neutralizer and gives a little extra "ooomph" of cleaning power.
IME, warm and hot water just penetrate stains and odors. I wash everything--even diapers--in cold water.
Clothes dryers are very hard on clothes, and again, IME, sort of "set" odors and stains. I have read that you can double the lifespan of your clothes by air drying them. I know this is not practical for every family, but even if you can air dry your things every once a while, I really think it makes a difference. Good luck.