Getting My 11 Month Old to Sleep in His Own Bed!

Updated on April 14, 2008
A.C. asks from Arlington, TX
7 answers

I have an 11 month old boy who will not sleep in his own bed!! Instead of waking up with him a bunch of times during the night and putting him back in his crib i just let him sleep with me. I also feel bad about letting him cry in his crib at night.... For some reason i feel guilty about it because i work alot during the day so i feel bad if i let him cry it out. What would you do?!

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J.H.

answers from Dallas on

Even though he is young this will work too...
Keep your chin up!

Let supernanny help!!!!
This is the link to the technique that she uses.

http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/R...

You get there routine started with bath, getting ready for bed. and a good book. Then follow her suggestions to put her in her bed tell her good night turn out the light and sit near her bed.
if she gets up tell her its bed time and put her back in her bed. when you are sitting at beside her look down and dont engage her or anything.
Then after the second time of getting out of bed do not talk to her and just put her back in her bed...
As you do this nightly move farther away from the bed. But really make the before bed a relaxing time It works!! TRUST ME!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

I very seldom let the kids sleep with me and hubby. I would let him cry it out. All of us feel guilty letting our kids cry it out. But you are teaching him that crying for a bit works to get his way.
If my kids were truly distressed, I make a pallet and let them sleep on the floor next to my side of the bed. I can reach over the edge to pat them during bad dreams but they don't get the complete comfort of sleeping with me in the bed.
I think the only times they get to actually sleep with us is when they are ill, or breast feeding. Now they are to old to sleep with us. but my 8 yeasr old has alot of bad dreams. same thing. pallet next to the bed. he wakes me up nightly at 2am. pretty regular schedule. i just make the pallet before i go to bed, so when he comes in crying he can lay right down.
be strong. If it were me I would let him cry it out and let him learn to comfort himself. Go through the routine and put him to bed, in the middle of the night, rock him or what ever and place him back in his crib. if you do breakdown, at least make him sleep on the pallet. don't make it so easy and comfortable to sleep with you.
good luck,
L.

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W.P.

answers from Dallas on

I know it's hard to hear your baby crying and calling for you. When we moved our oldest to his own room, he cried for an hour one night. I think I cried for another twenty minuets after he fell asleep. But it does get better.
I'm still working with my youngest on a bedtime routine. He is almost 3. We recently moved and now the boys have their own rooms. At first I would sit next to his bed and rub his back till he fell asleep. This resulted in giving me a stiff back and made his older brother jealous. So now I'm trying a routine similar to what Jenay recommended. I put him to bed and sit with him for a few minuets. We sing a song, right now he is stuck on Happy Birthday or the Alphabet song. Then I tell him I have to go clean up and go night-night too. He will beg me not to leave, but I pry my arm away from him and go. He immediately tries to follow me out the door but I just pick him up and put him back in bed, give him a kiss and say "I love you, Goodnight". The second time he gets up I just put him back in bed without saying anything. He will cry for a few minuets but then go to sleep. He is usually asleep now before I can finish cleaning the kitchen and checking the doors are locked. Another bonus is that before when he woke up during the night he expected me to be sitting there. When I wasn't, I think he thought I had left completely. Then I would have to sit on the floor all over again. Now he falls asleep hearing me moving around so he knows I didn't leave him completely even if I'm not in the room.
I had seen this several times on the Nanny shows, but just now started trying it. It is hard to "steel yourself against their cries", but you have to sooner or later. I say do it sooner so you all get more sleep now. Or at least in a few weeks when he gets used to the new routine. Good luck and know you are not alone in the heartache this causes.

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S.Y.

answers from Dallas on

I will say I never let my daughter cio. It tore me apart to hear her cry like that. But. We did with my son. He's 1 1/2 and we co-slept for the first 12 mo. After that, I went to the dr and she said I desperately needed to get him in his own bed- for my own health. Waking up several times a night for so long was really taking a toll on me. It was a hard process and felt like forever, but within 2 weeks we had him sleeping in his own bed, and not fussing more than 5 min before falling asleep. Also, I've talked to a child psychologist about this (I was very very nervous about long term effects or something) and she agreed that there was nothing wrong with it. It's assisting the child to learn something that is within reason for his age. I had to turn the tv up loud in another room or put on headphones for about an hour the first several nights so I couldn't hear him. But, it got easier on both of us and now he just lays right down. He's still just as cuddly and playful as before, so I know I didn't scar him, you know?
Anyways. Sorry this turned into a book. Let me know if I can help in any way. I know how hard it is to go through these stages! Good luck!!!

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S.L.

answers from Dallas on

stay strong! this is only a phase and will pass. if you let him start sleeping with you for "quality time" you won't get the "quality time" and then you'll feel bad for letting him in your bed. so what did you gain? um, nothing. i learned this the hard way with my first boy, who was probably 2 or so before he stopped spending a portion of the night in my bed. so i had the second boy out of my bed by 9 months old, and then moved the crib to his room by 12 months old when he finally slept all thru the night. nip this in the bud now!

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M.T.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,
I was in the same situation as you, but worse!! I didn't want to be away from my son, but my husband didn't want him to sleep in bed with us, so I would sleep on the couch with him on my chest!! We did this for four months, until one day I was sick. We put him in his crib, and yes, he did cry. But, what I did was put him down, told him I loved him, then went and took a long, hot shower. I wasn't able to hear him crying, and by the time I got out, he wasn't crying and was asleep. The next night, I went to the room that was farthest away from his, and folded clothes for 15 minutes. When I went back, he was asleep. Try to turn the monitor down so you dont' hear him cry--if he is dry, fed and not in pain, he needs to cry it out. I promise, he will not remember crying in his bed for you. I was so hard for me to let my son stay in his crib, but once I did, I started sleeping better and so did he. good luck!!

M.C.

answers from Dallas on

He will get used to it if he sleeps with you. I know of someone personally that did that and their 3 children STILL sleep in the parents bed. They don't get any privacy for themselves. Hang in there. Do what will benefit him. Keep walking him back to his room.

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