Getting My 5 Month Old to Sleep on Her Own...

Is there a big reason she can't continue to sleep with you? I mean, is it difficult for you to sleep or something? Why not wait until she's a little older and could share sleep with her sibling?

I have 3 kids 18 ,12 and 10 none of them ever slept alone till they were about 4 - I got a queen size bed to sleep with the 2 youngest together. It felt so unnatural to me to leave little babies and children to sleep alone. I get constant compliments on my children's behavior and well- grounded self confidence & autonomy. I'd wager the reason you don't feel like you've 'figured it out yet' is because your fighting your true nature & gut instincts. And are listening to others instead.

Why do we feel so guilty about meeting one of the most natural needs of our children - the feeling of SAFETY while sleeping ? Do you know that victorian men invented the crib? The same GUYS who invented heels up laying down childbirth gave us early seperation from our babies too. Remember how women and children where treated in that era ? Many societies around the world are appalled at the way westerners treat children. Human children have ALWAYS slept with their mothers. The reason it feels so horrible to let little children 'cry it out' is because it IS horrible. Our closest animal relatives the chimpanzees and the great apes certainly don't go in for that nonsense. And in 'the old days when mama had to many little ones - they slept with Grandma too !!

Kids ARE a hella lot of work but going with our OWN instincts and just enjoying the time when they are so little and making being together as pleasant as possible is it's own reward and gets you a hecka lot more rest too. Trust me my 18 son does not still want to sleep with me . .. My kids are happy & well adjusted - they go on overnites, week long camping trips and all. AND guess what - I know lots and lots of moms who sleep with their kids - people have been brain washed to believe that independance is all. Why are we all so isolated in this country & why are our elders cast off. Why do amerians particurally have such unsatiable craving for stuff to fill our loneliness. We are taught that the 'tough parenting' that starts with letting babies cry it out is something to be proud of - who exactly is that serving ??

Hi A.,
Yes, I did the same thing, and she still sleeps with us. She is now 4, and has no intention of leaving the bed for her bed. And the way I see it...someday she will want to go to her bed, so I let her stay. Enjoy the moment, because before we know it, they'll be off to college. (sigh) ...that is unless you can not get any sleep.

Blessings,
M.

My daughter was the same way! She is 9 now and still has trouble sleeping, which I attribute partly to the fact that she slept with me as a baby. (She was in our bed for about a year.) When she was small she also had to share a room with her brother, so I didn't want to put her in there and have her keep him up. I started by having her sleep in my room in her own bed. Then she could hear and sense that her parents were nearby. After several weeks I was able to put her in her bedroom. A little white noise helped, too. A low-playing radio or a small fan running in her room. Make sure she takes her naps in the same place if possible. Best of luck!

Hmmm...I'm likely well on my way to a similar situation as my daughter, 3.5 mos., has also slept with me since day 1. Do you think it would make a difference to go through steps with her -- first, in the bed next to you, then in a co-sleeper (or something similar), then to a small crib next to the bed or in your room...slowly 'moving' her out to your toddler's room?

I haven't experienced this circumstance with my first or second child, but that might be what I'd try for myself. I'll be curious to see what other advice you receive.

I would suggest a stuffed animal or other comfort object. Also have you tried just holding her hand? When my son was a baby he would only fall asleep holding and rocking him. At 4 months I tried to get him to sleep on his own. It was very hard and the cio method did not work. Eventually I put a teddy bear near his head, he snuggled up with it and he fell asleep right away. He is 12 y/o now and still sleeps with his teddy.

A.,

We adopted twins when they were 4 months old. They were the same way. They needed to be held and had to sleep in the same room and were on completely different sleep schedules. A friend of recommended and book that changed our lives FOREVER!! It is called "The Contented Little Baby Book" you can probably get it on amazon for aprox $10. It really works and we really do have contented little babaies now!!

WOW, you have your hands full more power to you. I went through this with my son and I had to suffer through the long crys, but it's something that needs to be done. When you do it, you have to stick to it. Lay her down and read her books. Five months can be rough, but if you want it done stick to the crying. Good luck

I would suggest continuing on sleeping together for 2 or 3 days or so, but with a transitional object introduced between the two of you (literally a small blanket in between both your bodies and preferably near her nose. Something small, like a blankie, that she can learn to associate your scent and comfort with, but that she can also take in a few days with her to her own crib. You can even stuff it down your shirt during the day to let it really "get" your scent. Then once you're both ready, if you nurse or feed her before bed, go into the room she'll sleep in, turn off the lights and have everything ready for you to just lay her down as soon as the feeding is over, with the the transitional object. Then say goodnight and walk out. I did this with both of my kids and they always laid straight down and learned to go to sleep on their own very quickly. If she starts crying just go back in and pick her up for a minute - but stay standing right next to her crib, don't talk, keep it mellow - , let her calm down, and then put her back down. I had to do that a few times because crying it out was too hard. But after a couple times sometimes they will keep crying just to get you to come back, so I would suggest drawing a line at once or twice and then not going back in. I know it's hard, though! Easier said than done. Good luck! Oh, and I have a friend whose toddler and baby share a room and it only took a couple of days for the kids to adjust (mainly the older one!).

A.,

"Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracey Hogg
This book has great tips. It's the book to read if you do not want to do the "let your baby cry it out approach".

My coworker and I read it together on our lunch breaks. We loved it!!!!!!!!!(It also comes in a version for toddlers)
Good Luck

Hi A.,

I'm currently reading a book called "The no-cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley that has a number of solutions for helping your baby (and you) sleep longer through the night. It includes a section on how to transition your baby out of your bed an into her own. Some of the techniques she mentions are as follows:

1. Place a mattress on the floor next to your bed and place your baby on that mattress (for as long as she can stand it through the night). She also suggests you sleeping on the mattress while the baby sleeps in your bed, thus getting used to not sleeping right next to you. Later, you move that same mattress into her own room.

2. Create a miniature family bed in HER room where you can help her fall asleep there together. Stay there all night for the first few nights, then transition back into your own bed.

3. Traveling Crib. Start with the crib next to your bed open to your side of the bed. Over time, move the crib farther and farther away from your own bed, then into her own room eventually.

The book gives much more detail, of course, and many other "tricks" for getting your newborn, baby, or toddler to sleep better and on her own. I'm due with my first baby in Feb, and have been reading up to get some ideas of how to deal with the whole sleep issue.

Good luck!

Tris

Both my kids slept in my bed for many months. With patience, you will be able to make the transition. I just think that she is not ready yet. I suggest you wait another month and give it another try. Another suggestion is to place the crib in your room right next to your bed with one rail down and the crib flush with your side of the bed. She will eventually get used to you near, but not in the same bed.

Have you tried putting her to bed with a warm something that smells like you...also getting her attached to an animal or blanket? We had difficulty with our daughter and I was told not to let her fall asleep on me AT ALL, but put her down every time she was falling asleep. It helped a little.

A.:-)

I read about 10 sleep books, and the only one that worked for us was Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I highly recommend it. It discusses sleep patterns and schedules. Our son would not nap, and, when we tried cry it out, seemed to cry forever. We used the suggested routines in the book, and he was a super napper within a week.
Good luck!

Read the baby whisperer...teaching your baby to sleep. It takes some time and patience, but it works!