Getting My Son to Poop on the Potty

This might not work, but its a suggestion. Maybe the Hershey's kiss just doesn't seem that rewarding. With my kids, I made a chart, and when they filled the chart, they got something they were "really" dying for - like a Barbie ($5 kind), a Beanie Baby, a Webkinz, etc.. At first, the chart only had 3 blocks to fill out. As soon as they saw what a great reward they could get, they were all for trying. After the first chart was done, the next chart had 4 blocks, then 8 blocks - it quickly moved to about 14 blocks, then finally 21 blocks. Seems expensive at first - until you realize how much you spend on pull-ups! This reward system was way cheaper, and after they were used to using the potty, I finally told them they didn't need rewards any more, they were all grown up.

We had a very similar problem with my daughter. Eventually, we put her on Miralax (talk to your dr about dosage) so she could get back on a regular schedule of going (she had also been holding it for days at a time and was probably "scared" to go since it would be painful). Once she started going, I just stopped really talking about going poops at all (I think I was stressing her out by constantly encouraging her to go or pushing her to sit on the potty when I knew she needed to go, etc. and by getting upset or outwardly frustrated when she'd have ANOTHER accident)... SO I took the opposite approach and stopped talking about it all together (even when I could tell she needed to go - very difficult to do) and soon, after a couple of days, on her own she just started bringing herself to the potty and going. I also reinstated a reward (she likes swedish fish) so when she had a success, I'd praise (not over the top, as I still think something about the whole process "embarresses" her) and give her the candy and that was it. IF she had an accident, I said nothing about it, just changed her and didn't even discuss it. This seems to have worked - it's been a few weeks now and we've been accident free, she's going about 1x a day and pretty much just calls me to help her wipe.

I hope you can find a solution that works for you. It can be very frustrating so I feel your pain. Hang in there!

Hi,

My daughter did the same thing, Doctor told us to give her one tablespoon of mineral oil in her milk every morning. What it does is lubricate her insides so she can not hold it, it only took maybe 5 days for her to be over her fear of going on the potty. The mineral oil does not get obsorbed into the body so you may see some oil spots on his underwear.

could he be constipated? if he is holding his poop for 4-5 days if he wasn't constipated before he has created a problem with constipation now. Sometimes when kids hold it in it leads to constipation, which then causes him to associate pain with pooping so then he holds it which makes him more constipated and it is a bad cycle. I would make sure that he has lots of fiber in his diet so that he is not constipated and can not hold it in. You might also try some prune juice. If he no longer feels pain then that might help him want to go.

Have you asked him why he doesn't like the potty? Maybe if you have him help decorate the potty with some of his favorite things/stickers that might help. Or if you but certain toys that he really likes but he can only play with while he is on the potty pooping?(I was thinking like an aquadoodle or something he can hold in his lap)

good luck!

I think I posted an almost identical post a little over a week ago! We are, dare I say "were", having the EXACT same problem with our 3 year old daughter. I got some extremely helpful advice from some others out there so I will pass along what we incorporated which worked for us. When our daughter was holding it in and having massive poops ever 4-5 days, I spoke to my dr and he recommended a fiber supplement to help soften things up and make it almost impossible for her to hold in. The purpose was to disassociate pooping with pain. I started putting 1 tsp of benefiber in her morning drink and I really took note of foods high in fiber and became more conscience of making sure she had more in her diet. It eventually started to work. But...she wouldn't go on the potty most of the time so it was in her underwear - lovely. So, based on the advice of others we had our own potty training bootcamp over a long weekend. We told her first thing in the morning that mommy & daddy were not going to ask her if she had to go anymore. Her body would tell her when she needed to go and she could tell us or just use the potty seat or toilet herself. I took off her underwear and left her either naked or in a tshirt/dress. I put the potty seat right in her playroom (w/ a splat mat under it). She would wait til the last possible second at first but it really helped, especially with poop. I think she was concerned with pooping on the floor so she would move herself over to the potty seat. Lots of praise for going on the potty and accidents were picked up without saying anything. The other thing we started doing was having her be in charge of cleaning up her accidents. I showed her what to do and she would do it. Of course before all was said and done, I would make sure there was no poop on her and then I'd mop/disinfect the bathroom after when she was distracted :)

So, all these things in combination made a huge difference and she is really doing great now. I wish you lots of luck and patience - it is really a trying time. Like all things, it will eventually pass. That's what everyone keeps telling me anyway! Good Luck.

Hi there. I saw your post. I had the exact same problem with our daughter. She was completely potty trained for peeing, but refused to poop on the potty. She would sometimes go almost a week without pooping. She would be in agony. I tried switching to higher fiber foods and increasing liquids. She would only poop in a pull-up, and sometimes scream in pain. Doctors told me not to push it, because it was a control issue. Finally, my mother suggested I add a little prune juice to her juice every day. It softened her poop quite well and it made it less painful and harder for her to hold. It worked. After about a month, I cut back on the prune juice and have never had a problem. Good luck!

Hi L.
Sounds like your son needs to be cleaned out. What happens is that when they continually hold it, the poop stays in and causes the muscle to stretch out. A stretched out muscle can't push the poop out effectively so you'll see repeated smearing in his pants. If it goes untreated the muscle will lose it's ability and he won't be able to push the poop out even if he wants to. The fact that his poops are gigantic means he's backed up. So the first step is to get him cleaned out. Check with your pediatrician. This problem is very common and you are on it early. For my 2 kids we used Senokot and even ducolax suppositories. but I don't remember the doses or how often but it was for several days. The Senokot tastes good mixed with ice cream. If you don't feel your pediatrician is tuned into both the physical and the behavioral aspects you could look into Children's Hospital. They have a clinic devoted to this subject. Unfortunately, I don't recall the name of it but I'm sure you could find it easy enough. We never used the clinic but my sister in law did for her son and was very impressed. Hope this helps. Good luck.

Something that worked (and still does) for us is prune juice. The longer he waits because he is afraid (or whatever reason he has) makes it harder and more painful to go. I have added a little prune juice to our daughter's water for about 10 months now. I monitor how she is doing and determine whether I should add more juice or less to each cup based on the consistency/amount/timing/etc of her bowel movements. With the prune juice, he also wouldn't have much decision in the matter of whether to hold onto it or not. The juice will get things moving. There may be some soiling at first, depends on how he reacts, but I would think that if he realizes that he will be unable to hold on to it, that he will get to the potty.
Just a thought.
Good luck--potty training can be so easy for some, and for those with kids like ours, not so much!

Hi L., my son did the exact same thing as yours. He'd hold it for like 5 days too and go in his underwear alittle. He was 3 years old. The thing NOT to do is make a big deal if he does go in the potty. Pooping is an every day thing of life and he needs to know that it's normal, not something that you get rewarded from. I made that mistake with him. He would hold it so long I had to get suppositories to put up his butt. Boy, did he scream then! It's really tough to deal with, I know, when he holds it and of course we worry that it will never come out. My son's was so huge when it came out too, that it plugged the toilet. It is something he will get over, and I guess just try talking to him, telling him everyone poops and there's nothing to be scared of. I think they think they're losing part of their body when they poop.
You really need to get some suppositories, they're soft and don't hurt, I think it's our finger that's hurts most when we put it up there. But, he can't go for days and days without pooping. He must not be eating when he's so constipated.
Try the suppositories and I bet ya he starts going by himself cause he won't want them put up there all the time.
That's when my son started going by himself. He's 9 1/2 now and still is so traumatized from learning to poop, that everyday, and I mean everyday, he says "mom, did I poop yesterday?" He makes sure he goes every other day or he'll be scared that he won't be able to. Good luck and I hope this helps. B. L

Hi there. I was having that problem with my 2 year old. We started potty training, he pooped ONE TIME on the potty and never did it again. Then he was having really "hard" poops and didn't want to go even in his diaper. So, the non-medical advice the dr. gave me was to give 2 teaspoons of clear Karo syrup. Stir it into his juice. He drank it all, he pooped 45 min. later. I did have to do it another day, but not since then. He poops fine now, but still not on the potty, I even offer him BIG chocolates (mini snickers) and he always wants to see his "big chocolate", but hasn't pooped on the potty yet, he just hides in the playroom and goes in his pull up or night diaper.
Good luck, but try the karo syrup.