Getting over the Initial Reaction.

Imagine your son having to navigate through life with something slightly off but the expectations of others would be such that he could never measure up? In that case I would feel sad and bad for you and for him. Since he is high functioning, I'm almost certain there are skills he will learn and things he will be taught to help him catch cues, learn and behave in a way that will produce the best possible results for life for him.

Yes the diagnosis throws you for a loop but then you get to see all the wonderful endless possibilities for him with FREE help along this journey toward adulthood.

They way I see it. They caught it while he is still young and he has the rest of his preschool, grammer school, and high school experiences with supervision properly preparing him for college or vocational training and life outside your home. This seems to me like it is a good thing in disguise because it was unexpected. Diamond and gold are both that way in their natural raw state you would recognize them either. Be encouraged.

I know exactly how you are feeling. My son was diagnosed with sensory integration disorder - which is not the same as autism, but a LOT of autistic kids have sensory integration disorder.

I rarely saw any of his "problems" at home. It was only when I was in strange places with him that he became uncomfortable and I could see that he was just "off". I kept telling the pediatrician that something was "off". He even had two early intervention assessments that said he was fine. But, fortunately for me, he was speech delayed and he started receiving speech therapy at a full therapy location. The therapist noticed that something was "off" with him as well and she asked me if I wanted an occupational therapy evaluation. I immediately said yes I did. I had to pay full price for it (because it wasn't referred through my doctor), but it was worth it. They are the ones that diagnosed him and he started getting therapy.

BUT, I was mortified to tell the school that we had a name for what was wrong with him. I thought he was going to be labeled and then stuck in a corner and not dealt with. However, I had just the opposite experience. BECAUSE he was labeled, he started getting special treatments that enabled him to actually have GOOD days at school.

So, forget what anyone thinks and buy into the assessment and the action plan. FIGHT for your child's rights. YOU will be happier than you have ever been in your life. And, if you are anything like me, you will cry at those small steps that you child is now allowed to make.

To this day, my parents don't believe anything was wrong with him. But, I KNOW the therapy he received made a HUGE difference in his life. I am telling you this because even if your husband is resistant to the diagnosis, follow your gut and GO with the treatment plan.

Also, I recommend the book "House Rules" by Jodi Picoult. It is a fiction book, but it really opened my eyes to autistic children and the resources available to them. This book was not based in Texas, but I think once your eyes are opened to possibilities, it makes it easier to search them out.

Good luck,
L.

My former bosses have a high functioning daughter. Once they "accepted" they had to deal with autism she had a really funny comment once. That "spectrum" is sooo big we all could fit on it on any given day.

Do all you can and he'll do great. It won't be easy but the earlier you start therapy(s) the faster and easier it will be for EVERYBODY.

Good luck and it'll be okay. Time to start reading mom and make SURE your husband and you TALK about it. Autism parents have VERY high divorce rates. Take this on as a TEAM!

I do not have the same experience, our daughter has dyslexia, but recall also feeling conflicted when the diagnosis became known. Happy we had a name to put on it and a course of action to take, sad that my child had to deal with this all her life. I think you have to allow yourself to go through the stages of grief, and recognize that it may take some time to come to acceptance. Be prepared not only to talk to your husband but to explain to your son if he asks you if there is anything wrong with him. I would put it in terms of "difference" not "disability". It helped my daughter to know that she was not "stupid" but had difficulty with writing and spelling due to a known learning difference. It also helped that the neuro-psychologist who tested her explained it to her since he knew how to put it into positive yet easily understood terms ("I can explain to you while school is such a pain in the behind" is how he started:). We read everything we could about her condition, from medical books to personal accounts by adults with dyslexia, and it helped us tremendously to accept it fully. EVERY person has pros and cons, and I would encourage you to look for your son's strengths and not focus on weaknesses. We do not talk about our daughter as "dyslexic" but as "cheerful, dancing and singing, outgoing quick-witted" etc. (((((hugs)))))

I feel where your coming from. My daughter also qualified for services not in the autism spectrum but with speech. I have been through so many different assessments and If something came up that you never saw or don't agree with then re-test him in six months. If you agree with what came up but just feel blind-sided and are having a hard time dealing with it, then the best way to deal is to keep the focus on the goal of your son getting help. Don't worry about labels, etc. In the long run this will help him and that's what you need to hold on to, to get your through it. Good luck.

While I have not had to deal with the austism issue with my kids..We did have to have my middle son evaluated and eventually placed into EI for physical therapy to walk and speech therapy. A very long road. Made a huge difference so he could walk. He had low muscle tone and poor core strength...so then the fine motor skills..i.e. speech fell behind. I am relieved that you were wise to have him evaluated and that you are proactive in making sure he gets all the help he needs. It can only get better from here. Hugs.

Hi P., I went thru the exact same thing. at 4.5 they finally decided to test him, and same thing, autism spectrum, very high functioning, etc....I had a very hard time with it, so much so, that I had to start taking prozac. They even but him in a special ed program when he started school. Now he has started first grade, and what helps is, seeing his progress. One of his special ed pre school teachers gave me this advice...take all the help they have to offer now, while he is younger, the more help he gets, the better off he will be when gets older. I look at the big picture...and now feel he will be fine. Forget about the label, and get him all the help you can. My little guys has done wonders. He is getting there. God bless you and your family, thank god he is high functioning, and please feel free to email privately if you need to. Best of luck.
M.

A friend of mine has a son who was diagnosed with high functioning autism. Our children are friends and both have juvenile arthritis and ulcerative colitis. I can't speak about how to make it easier to accept, but did want to share that she and I had a long conversation about dietary changes recently because they have helped my daughter immensely with her systemic inflammation (lungs, joints, intestines, eye) and I thought she might want to try it for her son (and his twin sister who also has inflammation of the joints).

My friend has already removed gluten from their diet as much as possible and said she sees a marked improvement in his behavior and his ability to deal with situations when he hasn't had gluten or eaten any junk food. Unfortunately the son is a very picky eater, so she can't try the diet my daughter is on, but I think it's promising that by making some dietary changes, she is able to help her son with his Autism.

If you are interested in trying diet, you might want to look at the Specific Carbohydrate Diet. This is what my daughter follows for ulcerative colitis, but there are many parents who use it for children with autism. Pecanbread.com is a good source of information for parents of children with Autism. The main site for SCD has a page about autism - http://www.breakingtheviciouscycle.info/autism/about_auti... It is a lot of work, but if you decide to do it, feel free to email me for support. We've been following it for 18 months.

I have been desperate to find ways to help my daughter without increasing the number of harsh medications she takes. I learned about low dose naltrexone (LDN) and how it has helped people with autoimmune diseases. It is low cost and no major side effects, and we have found that the combo of SCD (diet) and LDN has really improved her health (to the amazement of her doctors who all said they wouldn't do anything). I mention this because LDN has been used successfully in children with autism as well. Here is a Yahoogroup for the discussion of LDN/Autism: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Autism_LDN/ and two sites to read more: ldnscience.org and lowdosenaltrexone.org.

My son, at age 5, was also diagnosed by the school district as being on the autism spectrum, very high functioning. His pediatrician always dismissed the possibility of him being autistic, but then she only sees him for about 10 minutes, once a year for his annual. She just kept saying that he will develop in his own time.

He is now in kindergarten, and has had a difficult time adjusting. But, he is getting the additional assistance he needs (speech therapy, being in an inclusion class, sessions with the school psychologist).

I was, of course, all torn up and in tears when we found out the testing results. But then I realized that "autism" is just a label... he's still the sweet, adorable little guy he's always been. Yes, his brain works differently from most other kids, but he's receiving help from the school to help with that. And he's so bright, already on (at least) a 1st grade reading/math level... that is one of his strengths. I have found that focusing on all his strengths is one way that has helped me deal with it.

My son was diagnosed hign end autism spectrum in 1st grade through McKinney ISD. Before that his preschool and a therapist thought sensory disorder and he was helped very minimally. My son is now in 3rd
Grade and the help they have given him is amazing. Before you could tell something was a little off... But now even his teachers say they would
Never know if they didnt have his diagnosis. He used to get help up to 2 hrs a day but now he only needs 30 minutes. Him getting the proper diagnosis has gotten him the help to put him where he is today. Without it he could have been held back since he has an issue with testing in big groups, etc. Although my husband and I knew our son was a little different and we weren't surprised it is still hard to swallow. But when the special needs director at the school told me that some
Parents don't even accept the help because they don't want their friends and family to know broke my heart. I think that is what helped me deal was that it was going to help him function like a regular student and help his future. As soon as you start seeing improvements you will be so happy. I just want my son to feel like he fits in and the help they give him with social situations etc has made that happen.

If you live near Keller there is a great new resource www.greatertots.org

Bring him to see me! I can help him. All he needs is to be detoxed. I do this all day long. It's what I do. I have a huge autistic practice. I can detox him and the school district will not consider him "autistic". I can help. Call my office and speak to Tiffany. Good luck. Dr. J. Dagnan. ###-###-####.