Getting Pregnant Harder than Expected

I have been trying for two years....we always had unprotected sex and NEVER ended up pregnant. I, too, have very irregular periods. I am having one now for over 70 days. it is not a heavy flow but it sucks. And there are times where I can go 9 months without a period. I know what you are going through!

I tried the ovulation kits. I just got the cheap ones. They worked like magic. I hope this helps.

5 months is definitely not the time to get concerned. Most doctors won't even blink if you haven't been trying for at least a year. I found that the frustration is what was my worst enemy. My husband and I were trying for more than a year, and I was preparing myself to go to the GYN and find out what my options were, and that's when it happened. As soon as I gave up worrying about it.

Hi S.,
With irregular periods, I strongly recommend making an appointment with an endocrinologist. (An endocrinologist is doctor who specializes in the glands and hormones that regulate mood, growth and development, metabolism, tissue function, and sexual and reproductive functions. Source: Yourtotalhealth.com.) Women who have been pregant or have given birth are often found to have hormonal imbalances, commonly caused by low thyroid function, aka hypothyroidism. It is very easy to diagnose and treat, buy many women (and some men) go years without help because their symptoms are not dramatic, at first, and include some of the following:

Feeling tired, weak, or depressed
Dry skin, brittle nails and hair loss
Not being able to stand the cold/being cold all the time
Constipation
Memory problems or having trouble thinking clearly
Heavy or irregular menstrual periods
(Source: Webmd)

Many primary care doctors and even ob/gyn mds brush off these syptoms as typical new mom/tired mom symptoms. Left untreated, they can be very harmful to your body (not to mention your marriage/life) and also harmful to a fetus if you become pregnant again while the condition is undiagnosed.
While I do agree with many of the responses that you will most likely just need a little time, it is much better for you to have an endocrinologist do a little bloodwork now to spare yourself the possibility of overlooking this kind of medical problem. I went years without being diagnosed and I can't begin to describe the toll it took on my mind, my body, my memory - little by little, day by day. And it all started with irregular periods that were "fixed" by birth control pills...and a pcp who said I was too young to have anything wrong with me... and giving it more time to get pregnant... and clomid when that didn't help...and then a baby who "cause" of all my fatigue, etc., ...well, you get the idea. Periods are supposed to be regular - period. If they're not, there is a reason. Don't let anyone (md or other) tell you it's just one of those things in life. Thanks to a wonderful psychologist who recognized the medical warning signs behind my depression, and a great endocrinologist, I'm doing so much better - and so is my family of three kids and Dad!

Best wishes from our family to yours.

Try buying an ovulation detector at the drug store. You can get a weeks worth for about $15 if you kind of know when the middle of your cycle is and just need to pinpoint the correct day. You just use them daily for that week with your morning urine to detect the ovulation hormone. Otherwise a digital one is also available and they can be used daily and indefinately. I think they are about $45. Good luck. Hope this helps.

L.

Having an irregular period could be a big part of it. You're not going to know when you ovulate. I suggest starting with buying ovulation predictor tests so you'll know when you're ovulating and know when to try. If you are then catching yourself at the right times and it's still not happening, then I'd go in and get yourself checked. If everything seems fine with you, they'll then want to check hubby to see if it's a male factor. Do not stress. That can add to a problem. So, first buy the tests. They work like pregnancy tests where you just pee on a stick. Go online and find a good site where you can chart your ovulating as well. This can help form a pattern. You can take your temp every morning as well before moving and getting out of bed. Chart your temp for at least a month so you can see when you'll begin to ovulate. This will help to tell you when to try as well! This site worked best for me when we were trying for our third. http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ We ended up with triplets! We actually started with quads but lost one. The site had nothing to do with having triplets, lol. Good luck!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat

I understand what you are going through. It takes time and alot of prayer. My only thoughts would be to relax and don't think about it so much - I think that has a lot to do with it.
The other thing is - a fertility doctor will see you after you have been trying after a year.
my story: It took me nine months to get pregnant with #1, then miscarriage, miscarriage, baby#2, miscarriage, trip to the fertility doctor - I took clomid for one month (that fixes the luteral sp? phase defect - that sounds like maybe that's what you have too) Baby#3 and then miscarriage. So I don't want to take the medication everytime I want to get pregnant so I have turned to getting healthy and started taking a "whole food,liquid organic suppliment" that is easy to take. The company has been around for 24 years and the first 12 you could only get it thougth a healthcare professional. Might be an option for you.
web-site: www.sa.freepce.com Also try to take out the caf. out of your diet.
S. - I will be praying for you and if I can help in anyway you can email me direct. ____@____.com
S.

I could tell you alot!
But i will make it short and simple. Call you OBGYN and let her/him know EVERYTHING even the smallest of things.
I tryed for 4 years with a miss carriaged and then one years later had a healthly delivery.
GOOD LUCK!!!

I just want you to know that I am finally expecting after a 7 year gap in between pregnancies. You just relax and when you are not expecting it, BAM YOU WILL BE PREGNANT. Just believe in prayers, and GOD will answer them. I got pregnant with twin boys 7 years ago, and we lost the one and now we are expecting.

Sweetheart, I sincerely know what you feel.
My name is Stacie, my email address is ____@____.com--keep in touch, I think we might become good friends.

Take care and relax, it will happen.

S.,
Depending on your age it may be time to check in with a specialist. They recc one full year of trying if under 35. Six months of trying if over 35. You may want to also try clomid. It is an oral drug that helps with egg production. Your ob can give you that RX if you want it. I have two great children who are 6 years apart. I had eight miscarriages, and did everything from trying on our own to IVF. Don't lose the faith. It will happen. I liked the comment earlier about not liking people that get pg on first try.

For irregular cycles, you might want to try taking vitamin B6 and taking flax seed oil, or eating flax seeds. These help regulate cycles and make mucus more fertile. I recommend the book Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition by Marilyn Shannon. Also, you can track your most fertile day of your cycle with the sympto-thermal natural family planning method (it's not the rythym method, it scientific and it works! based on morning body temperature and mucus, it's not that hard to do). I recommend the book Taking Charge of your Fertility, by Toni Weschler. (It's a big book, but the basic information on charting your cycle is a quick read) You might even be able to get these from your library. I hope you're blessed with another child soon!

Did you try chiropractic? An adjustment might help to keep your body aligned so all the organs are in place. If you are crooked which tips the uterus and things are out of alignment, it might be harder to get pg. I know it helps many women.

Alot of people gave some good advice but I just wanted to add my experience which may overlap others.

O-strips never worked for me. I don't get a big enough surge so they were no help.

Temp Charting was what really helped me. I O late & have a very short luteal phase (the time from O'ing to the next cycle starting). So...if I had sex right in the middle, I wouldn't be o'ing yet. Charting let me plan our "bed-dancing" better. And...your LP does not change so once you know what it is. you can work with it. So...you might seem to be "late" but actually you just o'd late. That was news to me.

With my first, we tried for a while & then were about to give up & take care of some surgical stuff & then back to it. I was surprised to get pg that month.

The 2nd time around, I charted for 2 mos before even planning on trying so I"d know my cycle, etc. We still could not get pg so I ended up getting IUI w/ a round of clomid just before & that worked.

Just to add, I went to Penn Fertility & saw Dr. Sondheimer. He was really great & the staff was wonderful there. I'd recommend them if you end up going that route.

S.,

First may I offer a suggestion? It would sound nicer if you referred to your first unexpected pregnancy "a blessing", rather than "an accident". : )

Secondly, you can try one of those ovulation predictor tests if you want (I've never had reason to read up on them), but you may want to check in with a fertility specialist, as there may be something else going on with either you or hubby. I also can't imagine what should make your "friend" so late like that either. It must be trying on you! And I'm sure the stress of it all doesn't help, either, but those are some other suggestions. I hope it helps.

When you say "trying", I am assuming you are testing for ovulation or checking basal body temps,right? If so, and not working out, I would not wait any longer and would see your gyne.

I am now TTC my second child for 14 months and nothing yet, so I understand. If you are not checking for ovulation, then I would do that first. There are many ways to do this. If you need more info, let me know.

Either way, I'd recommend seeing your ob-gyne and get started with testing to determine if there is an issue. There are simple blood tests that they can do to determine whether you are ovulating. Hubby's testing comes after that if your tests are fine. Best of luck to you!!

Not sure how old you are, but....;you might want to ask your doctor, and possibly even go right to a specialist for testing. It can't hurt, right?
I only say this b/c I am 40 (old, I know), but got pregnant on my honeymoon with my son (who is now 3), got pregnant another time after only "trying" one time. (Not one month---one TIME). Unfortunately, that one was a miscarriage. I tried again for a year before seeking help, and wish I had done it earlier b/c I wasted so much time.
I am sure you'll have no problem---5 months is really not a long time. It does feel like a century, though, when you're trying for a baby. That's why I'm suggesting that you go right for the assurance that there's no problem or reason to worry. If there IS a problem, then you'll know that much sooner and will have a better chance at getting your baby, just maybe with a little bit of help. I really wish you the best of luck!!

Start doing your Basal Body Temperature and your ovulation kits because many doctors will not intervene until they have seen 6 months of charts. There are lots of websites to tell you hot to track your BBT. Good luck!

First of all, try to relax and be patient. As I have understood it, the average time period it takes for a woman (one trying to get pregnant) is around 9-12 months. (I could be misremembering. But it is not a short period of time. And most doctors don't want to start testing for fertility problems until after a year especially if you have gotten pregnant before.)

The next thing that I recommend is a wonderful book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health by Toni Weschler. It goes over everything from puberty through menopause and helped me to naturally track the days I was ovulating. Due to my hypothyroidism, it still took me almost a year to conceive both of my boys. My daughter was our first child and she (like your son) was an accident. I will say that it helps when you destress and try to not worry about conceiving so much. Make sure to hit the fertile days but try to relax and have fun with it and not stress out over whether or not it worked.

If you haven't conceived by about 10 months of trying, then talk to the doctor about it. With an irregular period, it might take a little longer or be harder to track your fertility. You might want to check with your doctor about that now. However, I would buy the book. It was a great help to me.

Good luck. And have fun trying.

How is your diet? stress level? sleeping habits?

Are you nursing?

How long have you been trying? they say it can take up to 2 years of trying before it happens.

You could have uterine fibroids from your previous pregnancy. You can go see your OB to see if she can recommend anything.

Maybe your body is just not ready yet. I would recommend not trying, but not trying not to. Then in six or so months take a look back at it.

Hi S.. Have you tried using the ovulation tests? It took my husband and I about 6 months to get pregnant, and I went out and bought the ovulation test and never used it because as soon as I bought it, I was pregnant! But that may help you to know when your best time is to try! Good luck, and don't stress...it'll happen when the time is right!

I know it sounds crazy but acupuncture worked for me. I had 2 miscarraiges, one of them ectopic, and heard about acupuncture from my husband's cousin. She had years of infertility treatments without success and went to acupuncture and got pregnant immediately and now has 2 healthy babies. I got pregnant on the first cycle after starting acupuncture and now have a healthy 5 month old girl. I went to an acupuncturist in King of Prussia. I'll be happy to give you her name and number if you want (I don't have it handy right now). I have another friend who had irregular, heavy, and disabling periods who went to acupuncture...after a couple of months she had regular, light periods and didn't need any medications....she also has a healthy 6 month old now. If you think this is crazy, you could try the ovulation kits they sell in the drugstore...although they didn't work for me. I also recommend switching to an organic diet...at least the meats and dairy...conventional foods have all kinds of unhealthy hormones that affect us in all sorts of bad ways. Good luck!
J. W

We tried for almost five YEARS to get pregnant w/#2. We did fertility pills and had all the fertility testing. I was told I wouldn't get pregnant w/o fertility drugs. I gave up and went back to school and got pregnant. We went for over three years of using no protection before #3 came along. We're trying for #4, it's been 18 months so far and nothing. My kids are now 14, almost 6 and 21 months.

Usually the drs want you to be "trying" for a year before you see them unless you are over 35. I would see a reproductive endocrinologist when you are ready for medical help. I wasted over a year w/an OBGYN.

Good luck!

Likewise, child number 2 is harder to come by than child number 1. We hadn't tried real hard at first because the "window of opportunity" had just opened. (I didn't want kids too close.) Well, now we are on the far end of that preferred window. I did miscarry this winter, too. According to the ovulation kit, I should have caught 2 other months last year. Then the household was sick twice late this winter. That blew two months' opportunities.

My period isn't irregular, though. Probably my age (39) and stress are holding us back. We haven't gone to seek fertility treatments yet. We won't seek extreme science.

I did catch pregnant after I began drinking Ensure again. I have had that periodically over the years just because I know I don't eat so well.

Child number 1 is calling. Good luck to you, too. It will be interesting to see what experiences folks relate.

Hi S.,
I was in the same sort of situation you are about 6 months ago. I got pregnant with my first in one month, but I did have a harder time with my second. I wanted to get pregnant right away, so I bought the ovulation kits. The funny thing is, after using those for 5 months, I decided I was wasting my money, and I was just going to let it happen when it happened. (very hard) And wouldn't you know, that 6th month is when I got pregnant. Sometimes I wonder if it wasn't because I was more relaxed about it? I know it isn't a big help, just trying to encourage you. If you didn't have trouble with the first, chances are, the second will come soon. I think when I talked to my OB/GYN she told me that if I couldn't get pregnant in 6 months, I should make an appointment. Good luck!

if your that irregular, you should see your OB/GYN

Hi, I used the book below as have several of my friends (successfully). I think every woman should read this book, not just women trying to get pregnant. It explains so much about the female body. We got pregnant the first month trying (much to my husband's dismay). In conjunction with a basal thermometer and ovulation kit you can help determine if there might be a bigger issue. Good luck!

Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health (Paperback)

I became pregnant, and my sisters and sister-in-law too, all using my clearblue easy fertility moniter. Six children were conceived using it, so I highly recommend it. It is a bit costly, but I got mine on ebay. We all had a positive test result in under six months, and 4 children with only a one month use. Good Luck!

Sometimes when you go off of the birth control pill you can get pregnant easier. Try an ovualtion predictor kit. You need to find out when you ovulate. Buy some books or go to the library and get some book about ovulation and basal body tempreture. If it has been less than a year that you have been trying do not worry. It is when it is more than a year that you need to be worried. I had a miscarriage the first time i was pregnant and then it took five months to get pregnant with Tommy. Be paitient and do not stress yourself out. it will happen when the time is right. good luck. D.

There is a fantastic fertility specialist in the area, Dr. Michael Glassner.

http://www.mainlinefertility.com/staff/glassner.html

Start by talking to your OBGYN about the complications you're going through. There may be a simple solution; diet, weight loss etc that can be implemented to increase your chances of conception.

It took us nearly 1 and 1/2 years to get pregnant with our second. It took another year and a half to have our third. Try not to freak out so much. sometimes it just takes longer than others. I was a little concerned about our fertility but since all that stuff is way out of the budget we just kept trying and finally it happened.

there is a difference in age between 1 and 2 that is 4 and 1/2 years and it was just perfect for us.

Good luck
p.s. feel free to hate the people who say "Oh I got pregnant the first time we tried!" I do! lol

Don't worry just yet :) My husband and I have a 3 1/2 yr old snd just had our 2nd child (2 months now). For the 2nd it took us 8 months of trying before we got it right.

Good Luck!

S.,
Have you tried the ovulation monitors that are available? That might help track your fertile days. I always got pregnant quickly, but miscarried three times before I had my son. I feel lucky just to have O.! Good luck to you & God Bless.

S.,

If you haven't already read it, get your hands on a book called, "Taking Charge of Your Feritility". It's an incredible read; although it's not so much a "lets get pregnant" book as it is an "owners manual" for your ovaries and uterus.

I also really, really recommend charting. The book will explain in great detail, but basically by investing about 2 minutes a day in reviewing your body, you can learn an incredible amount of stuff - including when your fertile and therefore the best times to have sex.

We started trying to conceive in August 2006 and got pregnant our first cycle. That pregnancy, sadly, ended in miscarriage. We took one cycle off and got pregnant on our 2nd cycle of trying (so that's two out of the three cycles we tried) and I really attribute it to charting. I also have an irregular cycle which varies from 35-50 days. Charting was very helpful because on day 35, I'd know that I hadn't ovulated yet so there was no need to stress about testing and that I still had hope this cycle.

Best wishes to you!

Edited to Add: A word of advice about the ovulation predictor strips that many have recommended: It is possible to ovulate and never see a positive test strip. It depends on how long your LH surge is. www.peeonastick.com can offer a detailed explanation of this.

S.

If you look around online you can find cheap ovulation tests. I bought some on ebay for $15 for 20 ovulation tests and 30 pregnancy tests. I also took my temperature with a basal thermomter. It will help you learn your bodies cycle and when you are most likely to get pregnant. Good luck!

S.- I understand what you are going through. It took me 1 1/2yrs. to get pregnant the first time. It was frustrating to say the least. I had the same problem that my periods went 28-40 days. Ask your doctor about clomid, it is supposed to help you ovulate. That is one option to try. The best advice to give you is just to hang in there and just relax. After 1 1/2 yrs. the last time I just decided when it happens it happens. I got pregnant the next month. I know people who tried the ovulation test kit(about $150-$200)and they got pregnant the 1st month. It will happen trust me.

I know what you mean!

It took me over a year to get PG with my first and another 7 months with this one. I have poly-cystic ovarian syndrome which makes my cycles very irregular. When I got PG the first time I was doing a "Biggest Loser" competition at work so I was watching my carb intake, exercising more, and losing weight. This time around, I read the book The Fertility Diet and again, started the "Biggest Loser" competition at work - and viola!

It has to do with how my body processes sugar with insulin and that effects ovulation. Avoid white foods - processed sugar, white flour, white rice, white potatoes - go with whole grain, shoot for zero transfat, and add some whole fat dairy to your diet.

It can be done! I am pregnant proof of it - twice I was about to start fertility treatment with Clomid and got pregnant on my own - with a change in diet and exercise.

J.

PS - Knowing your cycle helps too. I used ovulation kits from www.babyhopes.com and tracked my cycle on www.fertilityfriend.com but I didn't basal body temp. Don't be afraid to go to your doc now and get the ball rolling.

S.,

I am curious what people will say to help you. I am in the same situation right now. I have 2 children and got pregnant easily with both. We have been trying for 5 months also and have had no luck. I am currently doing the ovulation kit, we'll see how that works! Good luck!

I am going to read yours, and hope that I too get some great advice...seeings I just posted the same question. Best of luck to you also....

The only thing I can tell you is about my experience and maybe it can help you. I really believe it has a lot to do with the mind, emotions, and physical ways that you deal with on day to day basis. This includes sorta stressing yourself about why your not pregnant yet. I had no problem getting pregnant with my 1st child. but with the 2nd one that I actually planned out (unlike the 1st), just wasn't happening. month after month of worrying and stressing about why I wasn't pregnant, I decided it wasn't meant to be, and to get over it. The next thing I knew I was pregnant! I believe it was because I had basically relaxed my mind and body, also the fact that it was my time to have a 2nd child.