Getting Ring Bearers and Flower Girl to Walk down the Aisle

Put their parents and or grandparents in the front isle's of the wedding. We did that with my flower girl who was 2 at the time. She still freaked out, chucked her basket up the aisle and ran to her mom. It was so funny!

My eldest was a toddler when my best friend and her sisters got married. All three of them used him in their wedding. I found this enormously stressful, knowing how we all want picture-perfect weddings. Here's what I learned.

First and foremost, decline the offer of your children participating if the bride is someone who is going to have a herd of cows and bulls that your little ones don't perform on cue. If this woman is the type to NEVER let you live it down, do yourself a favor and decline. Let her torture someone else's kids and their mom.

Second, as best as possible, stick to nap and food schedules. A rested, full child responds better than a tired, hungry child.

Third, if you can at all afford it, bring someone to act as a nanny for your children during the festivities. Ideally, this person should be old enough to pick the children up and take them back to wherever you are staying, so you can enjoy the reception. I had a student (I taught with her mom) come with me and my husband had to drive everyone around...a real hassle. But, other than that, it was worth every penny to know someone we knew and trusted was minding our children as we participated in the festivities.

Having your husband up front will help them feel more comfortable, but you should probably plan on sitting in a front pew, on the aisle, ready to assist or remove the children if they get fussy. You may also want to request that all pics with the kids be done first, if at all possible.

Having endured this three times, all I can say is, paste a smile on your face and hang on for the roller coaster ride that day will be. Good luck!

I don't like to really use this technic but.... Bribes usually work.

But one thing the wedding party needs to remember is that but in this situatuion, children are very unpredictable. At my wedding my husbands nieces were the flower girls. The youngest was 3 and the other was 6. They were fine up until the time came for them to walk up the aisle. The 6 year old turns to me all freaked out and and says... "I have to walk up there by myself?" Even her mother had a hard time getting her daughter up to the front. The 3 year old was ready to go and show off her dress with not a care in the world. Her sister was scared stiff and her mother almost had to carry her up to the front. Poor thing. Even if you practice with them there is no guarantee that they will not freakout when everyone is staring at them. They were both great with pictures afterwards.

One of my friends recently asked for my 3 year old to be her flower girl. I said yes but told her I could not guarantee that it will go smoothly. She's OK with that so we'll just all relax and see how it will go!

2 is pretty young for this. the deciding factor will be how adventurous the bride and groom are. if they are open for anything and will find out-of-script antics charming and memorable, then go for it (i'd stick with your original plan and organize them out of the chute, and hope the tiny sticks with her siblings.) but if they're pretty set on having things go 'right', i'd let the older two handle the duties and walk up the aisle carrying the toddler.
khairete
S.

I've seen the best results when mom is at the end of the aisle and the kids are walking toward her. I would reccomened gramma or an aunt wrangle them at the back of the church and you stand at the front so they can walk toward you. You could also have the 6 yr old pull the 2 yr old in a wagon - so adorable in the pictures.

Consider carrying the 2-year-old down the aisle yourself or walking holding his hand. He's too young to be relied on to do anything on the big day -- tons of strangers will be staring at him and that freaks out many a kid, even outgoing ones. Having you hold his hand might get him down the aisle.

Ask the bride and groom frankly if they are OK with all the stuff that might happen -- kids wandering off, kids freaking and refusing to go down the aisle so someone else has to step in, kids acting up and running around at the reception. Sure, none of that may happen, especially if the kids are well rested and have rehearsed with more than a couple of folks in the pews.

But even the best-behaved children get tired out and cranked up and overexcited and off their eating schedules at large, long weddings. If the bride and groom are having a big, formal wedding and want everything Absolutely Just Perfect Like In A Magazine, they are running a risk having kids as young as 2 and 4 in the wedding ceremony. If they are pretty casual, relaxed people, they will be fine with it. But weddings can make folks who are usually relaxed very uptight at times, and you might want to talk them through what can happen with kids at a big formal event.

Do you have plans for whisking the younger kids out of the church after their part? They'll be bored and restless five minutes after they get down the aisle; I'd be sure there was child care at the church where you can take them for the remainder of the ceremony, or failing that, pack a bag of things to keep them busy as they sit there. I'd also have LOTS to occupy them during the reception or you may not get any time to enjoy it yourself. If there are lots of kids at the ceremony and reception that's easier. I've seen thoughtful brides and grooms provide little games, mess-free "color wonder" coloring kits, etc. for "kids' tables" at receptions.

we had 2 2 year old flower girls and we put them in a wagon that we painted white and sat them in it, and had the older boys pull them down the aisle..could u suggest that the older bpys pulls the 2 year old down the aisle on a wagon and he can hold the ring in hios lap.......it was super cute and everyone was in love with it

The older two will fine... the 2 yr old will be a complete wild card. You may want to be at the back to get them holding hands and "started" and then tell the three of them to walk to daddy, grammy, poppy... whoever will be at the end of the aisle... including their uncle! You should ask your husband to stand where they can see him and crouch down so your 2 yr old can focus on "walking to daddy".

Be prepared for the 2 yr old to refuse to walk down the aisle b/c it's very likely that he will.

Check with the bride to see how she wants it handled. Shoud an adult be in the back to hekp out and walk the little one down. Can he hold the 6 year old's hand and walk down? It's really up to how the bride wants to handle it.

Also, if you put a two year old in a wedding, you are asking for mishaps!

I do special events and I will tell you, we never know if it is going to work till that moment.

If you get down on your childs eye level and look from their view point at the height of the adults looking down at them and then the length of the aisle, it can be intimidating even for adults.

Just speak very frankly with the bride and all of you be prepared for anything.

The child I saw have the largest melt down was the most outgoing child you have ever seen. He was just darling and looked and acted like a little man, but the moment his mother told him to go ahead and walk, he froze, then burst into tears and started shouting no! Great video..

Anyway, see if the kids can somehow all hold hands if needed.
Let it be organic. If it works great, if not, that is ok too. Have dad at the front and have him wave to them. You will be at the back to let them know when it is their turn. Maybe even consider dad walking with them up the aisle. There is no rule that he can't.

Try not to stress, kids feel that energy and will respond to it.

My daughter, 2 at the time, was the flower girl in my cousin's wedding. The bride and groom completely understood that we wouldn't know until it was time, if it was going to happen or not. I'm happy to report for them it happened--but not without some effort. The bride also threw down maple leaves (she had a fall wedding so leaves instead of rose petals) on the aisle so if my daughter didn't walk, the pics still looked good.

Here's what helped my daughter:

Let the kids get to know all of the bridal party and photographer(s) as best you can so they have people at the front of the church that can "encourage" them to walk and that they feel safe to go to.

I sent her down the aisle and stood at the back while her dad was in the front pew with a cup full of treats that she couldn't resist (gummy bears, M&Ms, graham crackers--hey, it's one day)--we told her ahead of time what he'd have for her.

Practice, practice, practice. We practiced the night before the wedding at the rehearsal and again the morning of the wedding.

Stick to nap/feedings as best you can to have a happy, agreeable child.

We also entertained the wagon idea... it is really cute! Except in our case it would have been a Bridesmaid pulling her and it wouldn't have worked for the Groomsman/Bridesmaid pairing.

Good luck!

You could have the 2 year old ride in a wagon pulled by the 6 year old, or just have them hold hands. Even if he chickens out at the last second, it will still be really adorable.

Walking down the aisle is very intimidating, so if you're in the back with them, make sure they can spot someone familiar up front to focus on before you shoo them in!

You have great suggestions, so I will just add my stories and say you never know. Our flower girl was great and she knew it-turned to mom in the middle of the vows and loudly declared "I'm doing good, right mommy!" My daughter was three when she was flower girl, and actually also was supposed to toss autumn leaves. She forgot until the end, and just dumped her basket in a pile at the front. Make sure the bride is going to be ok with any of this...and let the kids sit down during the ceremony.

The bride & groom have to know that anything goes with kids! We had two 7 y/o (who were fine) & three 4 y/o kids. Of course, last minute the 4 y/o boy didn't want to walk next to a girl (he did it at rehersal), so he went down by himself w/ his hands in his pockets & the other two 4 y/o (both girls) held hands & went down together. Parents of the little ones did the same as some Mom's suggested ~ bribed them with M&M's at the end of the aisle. During the ceremony one 4 y/o girl danced in the aisle (she got bored), then saw a bug & decided to step on it (lifting up her dress while she was at it). The priest laughed so hard he stopped the ceremony! On the way back none of the kids wanted to walk w/ each other, so they walked back w/ a grown-up. The pictures are cute b/c it's a bridesmaid & groomsman, arm in arm, as 1 held a little kid's hand. Little kids are cute & sometimes funny, don't fret, everything will be fine!