Getting Tubes Tide... Please Help!

My opinion... I think at 28 years, you're too young to do permanent birth control. Life throws you curve balls... Things change... life situations change... I wouldn't recommend this procedure for anyone younger than 38-40.

I've always thought that the husband should have the vasectomy instead. This is not from personal experience, but from friends that had it done as young and younger than you. Their surgery is less invasive, more reliable and from what I hear, it is also easier to reverse.

You are doing what is right for you and your family. You have obviously thought about it a lot.

I just asked my doctor about having this done and there are now 2 procedures. Getting your tubes tied requires you to be put under and can take about a week to heal. You are instantly sterile.

The other procedure has been around for 6-7 years and is called Essure. You are awake and they give pain medicine so you don't feel what they are doing. They take a scope through your uterus and insert metal springs (like screws/rods currently used) into your tubes. Your tissue grows into the springs and you are sterile after 3 months.

I asked about side effects from getting tubes tied that I've read about on here. She told me that there aren't any side effects from the procedures. The symptoms women experience are from getting off the pill and letting their body have natural periods. She said if you get off the pill and do nothing for birth control you would experience the same issues. Some women end up having to get back on the pill to regulate their periods and minimize pms, etc.

Listen to your heart.

Congrat's on your new bundle of joy.

God Bless.

The only thing I will warn you about is that the effectiveness of a tubal ligation goes down after 10 years. For most women, this isn't an issue since they get them tied around 35 or older and are beginning to go through menopause 10 years later. I will also be younger when I am done having children and will have my husband get a vasectomy because I don't want a surprise baby at 38! Talk to your doctor, but getting your tubes tied is a HUGE procedure where your husband getting snipped takes almost nothing. Just something to think about... :)

Hi, I completely understand that you feel finished and want a more permanent form of birth control. I got my tubes tied when I was 24 and had 3 kids. I was sure we were done and traditional forms of birth control did not do the job for us. It never interfered with intimacy or menstration or anything like that. I had a csection and it was done right then and there on the table.

It was the worst mistake of my life. We ended up wanting more children and now have to use invitro every time we want to have another baby. so far we only have had one more but are saving up for another. It is expensive and I wish I had never done it. There are other semi permanent methods of birth control you can use whether you change your mind in the future or not like iud's or depo implants and those are virtually manage free. You don't have to worry about things and they are reversable should you have a change in heart in the future. I really wish I had gone that route and we wouldn't have so much stress every time we want another baby. I hope it helps you make the decision best for you.
Good luck with your decision.

I had a tubal ligation when I was sure I would stop with my one daughter, because that was what felt most responsible to me for many reasons. It was wonderful for me not to have to worry about birth control. That was about 35 years ago, and I have never regretted the decision, even thought lots of people warned me I would.

The procedure doesn't change the functioning of the ovaries or uterus, so it doesn't affect hormone levels, monthly flow, or desire for intimacy (unless perhaps that desire is piqued by the idea of getting pregnant). Getting my tubes tied was one of the best choices I have made.

It's not major surgery, not too big a deal when you think about the long-term benefits. And it was the right choice for me, since it was becoming clear by then that I wouldn't be staying with my husband, who would never have agreed to a vasectomy anyway. But there's another procedure now available that's less invasive, in which the tubes are blocked. Women can often go back to normal activity within 24 hours. I can't think of the name right now, but your doctor would know.

Hi! I had my tubes tied after my second baby. It was a simple procedure (I had a c-section with my second) that took about 10 minutes. You'll probably have a longer procedure since you aren't doing it at the same time you are having a baby. I felt fine afterwards--no perceptable difference in my recovery.

My periods seem to be MUCH heavier than before but not any longer than before. I had it done 9 months ago, and there have not been any other side effects--no change in intimacy. In fact, it is wonderful not having to think about birth control.

I'm so happy I got it done. No regrets. Good luck with your decision.

I have never had this done but I have friends that have. They have said they had no change in intimacy or cycles but they had it performed with a c-section. Having your tubes tided is a major surgery and requires recovery time. I would also consider your husband getting a vasectomy since the down time for him is only a couple of days and less complicated that getting your tubes tide. Just want you to consider all your options before you make a decision.

i had my tubes tied a day after our second child. which was a month ago. if you ever had surgery thats exactly what it feels like. if you have had your wisdome teeth out then you have an idea about how the pain level of healing will be. i feel fine it took a couple of weeks to be able to feel really good. i havent had my period yet and the sex is the same. i personally chose this route because of how i reacted to the pill and birthcontroll pills and i did not belive that the bc methods of having something implanted fit with my views on a baby is a baby from the very start. i understand that you can become pregnant but the baby cannot attach because there is a foregin object in there which makes carring a baby unsuitable. i agree its best to let the man get sniped if he is willing if not go ahead. good luck. hope it all works out for you...btw i am thirty and we decide not to have any more either.

Hi there - I had it done after the birth of my second 2.5 years ago, I was 33 at the time... as far as periods, symptoms, side effects, etc., I have had no changes in my period/flow, no changes with intimacy either. However, I do get PMS symptoms MUCH worse than before - major bloating, rage, mood swings. I had a c-section also and the recovery wasn't any different.

Now on to the bad stuff... like Kim said, it was the worst decision I ever made in my life. I regret it more deeply as the days pass, if that's possible. I have never felt such regret before - thankfully, my husband and I have a great relationship and he is a very amazing man, or it could have been divisive for us. We both want more kids, and like Kim said, we have to do IVF now. We are committed to it and plan on doing it over the summer, but I am scared of all the shots, tests, and the possibility of it not working after spending all that money. I truly wish I could take back that day and that I had researched it more and learned that other women feel this way before I had it done. I was so sure I never wanted to be pregnant again but I have changed and my attitude has changed greatly. At 28, I would advise against it for you. I wish my dr. had told me to wait until I was 38-40, or at least over 35, or that I had gotten counseling beforehand to be sure. Living with this regret and pain is truly awful and I would not wish it on anyone. There are other forms of BC you can use... consider it.

Hope this helps...

I had my tubes tied and "burned off" for lack of a better term, when I was 28. When my third and last child started getting out of the "baby" phase, I was a little regretful for awhile. BUT, I'm still glad I did it. Those were just hormones I think. My period didn't change and neither did my desire for sex. However, 7 years later we found out that I was pregnant with a tubal pregnancy. Apparently both of my tubes had grown back! My doctor said that in 32 years of practice, he had NEVER seen that happen. He told me that he could either re-do the procedure or I could go on birth control. I chose birth control and that has caused my periods to be a lot lighter. Since what happened to me is so rare, I don't think you have to worry about that. But if you are having any second thoughts about it, I wouldn't do it. I would just take birth control until I was absolutely sure. Good luck!

Good Morning,

I wanted to make sure when you say tubes tied, is it really that or will it actually be a tubal ligation? Sometimes even though we say tubes tied we mean having a ligation done. The difference is if you do have your tubes tied, that's something that can be reversed or MAY( rarely) come undone over a long period of time, a portion of the tubes are left in tact and tied off. A tubal ligation is permanent, means they are completely burned out and there is no going back. So consider which you and your husband may want to do and talk it over with your doctor.

I had a tubal ligation done after my third year in a row of becoming pregnant. While i was married at the age of 23 upon the advice of my Doctor due to a medical situation. Post opt for me, was not bad at all. I wasn't even soar after three days and back to running my regular activities fully. The frist two days I was sleepy due to the first time on anastesia and bloated due to the gases used in them. I can only remember being miserable once when i could not pass g**( don't want to offend anyone,lol), however that's natural of many types of surgery where gasses are used for anastesia.My pain level was not bad either, very soar for the sec day but it went as quick as it came.

Now as far as any regrets... I'm 34 now and regret each and everyday my having had anything at all done. My children are now in their teens and not to brag but i have had a pretty excellent run with them.I never missed a beat in my career life or regretted an semi early retirement to stay home with them. I enjoyed every minute of raising them and am extremely in love with them and I wish i could have had more.Financially, at first we were very young and of course it was a struggle, but wise young adults turn into perhaps fruitful older adults right???Well sometimes,lol at least that is how it is supposed to happen. I have tearfully been praying about the Lord stepping in and doing something,before i hit 35, reality is, I'm pretty sure it's a done deal and i hate it. However I'm now doing my best to just get over it and looking at adoption.

I will say this however, your 28 and at 28 you pretty much know what you really want, your well rounded and grounded and know how things are set up for your situation. If not having children is something you truly desire not to do, then don't allow anyone to influence your decision, times are so different now, and changing daily. I wish you the very best in what ever you decide to do. I'm not certain how this message board works out, but if every had any questions don't bother hitting me up on here.

I had my tubes tied and I dont regret it however from what I have read online is that a lot of woman have. I have also come to find out that tubal ligations are less effective then the pill which I hate. It did seem to make my periods a lot more regular. Did not affect my sex life. I am going to have my husband get fixed as I want better coverage. I do think you are very young and think perhaps you should do something like an IUD or nuva ring so that is isnt so permanent and more effective the having your tubes tied.

I had mine done in 2007, just after my 2nd child (3rd pregnancy). I knew that I physically could not handle more than 2 kids, work and keep my sanity. I haven't regretted it.

The proceedure was pretty standard. There was a lot of soreness that I wasn't expecting. I also couldn't lift anything for about a week, including my newborn. I could hold her, but not lift, pickup etc. So you'll want someone around that can do that.

My cycles did get a bit heavier, but it turns out that I have endometriosis, so I relate it to that, and not necessarily that tubal.

M.

My cousin had one done a year ago. She was 30. It was their 2nd baby and she was having a c-section so they just did it after they delivered the baby.

Both her and her husband were "DONE". And they were even happy with their decision for a few months. She did not like being pregnant and they felt that 2 kids were enough. Now, their girls are 3 and 1 1/2 and they want another baby....... BOTH of them now wish they would have waited awhile before making this decision.

I suggest that you use a different form of birth control for a year or so until you make sure that you guys will not change your mind. It is heartbreaking to want another baby so bad and know that YOU took that away from your family........ Best of luck.

I had my tubes tied when I was 23yrs old and I am thankful that I did .I had three daughters, but there were times that I did want another child, for a second or two, then it would disapate. Now some 35 years later I am glad that I did. My sex life was much improved, my monthly was the same as before. Just remember, to thy own self be true, Don't do it if there is any doubt in YOUR mind.

Hi L., too funny... I'm also in Houston, 29 with a 5yo & 10 week old, and having the same questions. Thanks for the post. Lots of great answers from different perspectives. I'm meeting with my doc on Wednesday for a follow-up on PPD and we're going to be discussing permanent options since I don't do well on hormonal bc. I was planning on Paraguard (the copper IUD), but doc said it makes your cycles heavier, so that is NOT an option. =o/
Anyway, just wanted to say thanks & that you're not alone!

I had it done when I was 21 years old. The doctor went through my belly button to do mine. I won't say it didn't hurt after wards, but I felt fine the next day. There was no change to my periods or any intimacy issues after wards. I don't regret my choice at all either.
If you and your husband agree on not having more children, then I honestly don't see a reason not to have it done.

I had my tubes tied after my last baby was born 7 months ago. I had a repeat c-section, and the doctor did the procedure right after the baby was born. As for now, I do not have any regrets. I have 3 beautiful children, and I am very happy for the time being. I am going to be 31 this year, and I did not want to be having babies past the age of 30. I don't know if I'll regret my decision once my children are older, but for the time being,
The only change I've had physically is more severe PMS symptoms, like back pain, nausea, and mood swings. Also I've spotted between cycles almost every month, and I never used to do this. Also, my cycle has been very heavy, but I was like that for some months after my first c-section, so I don't think it's due to the tubal ligation. Good luck with your decision.

I read the comments of others, most speak from their personal feelings. This is a personal choice, deeply personal. I agree with the post that said if you have ANY doubt then wait. I do know people who wanted just 1 or 2, or none, and have absolutely no regrets; Very happy. The choice to or not to is one only you, and your husband, can make as you will have to live with it.
I never did a tubal/ligation but really considered it when I had my last child. One thing the Dr said that made sense was, it was best to do right after birth because everything inside was very open and that made it easier to do. If I chose later, then they would have to "inflate" me with gas, and that may make healing a bit more uncomfortable than if it was done right after giving birth. Just a thought.
Do what you feel is best for your family in the long run.

I did not have my tubes tied but my husband had a vasectomy when I was 25 and he was 27. He had a daughter from a previous marriage and I was pregnant with our son when we decided to have the vasectomy done. I am 35 now and regret we had the vasectomy done so is he. I would love to have more kids and now we can't. Reversing the surgery is 8,000 dollars. So my real point is you may not feel the same way in 5 to 6 years. Really think about it.

If this is something that you want to do then go for it. you will have a little soreness and it you will be fine just do what the doctor tells you to do. and your sex life will not be any different you will be just fine. Good Luck I had mine tied and everything was just fine afterwards.

Hi L.,

Like many others here I would recommend waiting and trying something different in the meantime. I am a nurse who care for newborns and have heard too many stories of regret even right after it was done.
My personal experience included 3 children and 2 miscarriages. The first was the only normal pregnancy. When we decided on a more permanent form of BC, my husband (who by the way said that no one would ever touch his jewels!) stepped up and said that I had been through enough and volunteered for a vasectomy.
I would look at both possibilities before making that decision. A vasectomy is an outpatient procedure and within 2 days they are up and running again.
It has no side effects and can be easily monitored for efficacy. It is also easier to reverse! I wanted something permanent but not really if you know what I mean.
I didn't have to go through the later effects of a tubal . There are more things you will have to deal with than he would both immediately and later on. You are wise to do your homework!
By the way, I was 26 and 8 mon. preg. when we had the vasectomy. I have 3 wonderful adult children but I believe I would have had more if we had not done this. Any regrets? No, not really but I was able to get my baby fix working with them. And as for my husband, he never missed a beat in any dept.!!
Have fun with your children!!! You will do what's right for you!!
K.

I have to agree with Karen N. 28 is very young to tie your tubes and things do change. When I was much younger, I had my two older children, now 22 and 20. I thought that I was done after that, delivered the younger of the two in a German hospital, and they overlooked my request to have it done after delivery. (deliberate or not?)

Many years and a divorce later, I married the love of my life, and we had our children in our 30's. Due to my age and chronic health problems which were aggravated by pregnancy, I had my tubes tied after the C-Section delivery of our second child. EVEN THOUGH we knew that pregnancy was too much of a hardship for my body, we have regretted not having more children. But we always mourn the fact that we didn't start earlier.

I say all this to say that the permanence of this should be of great import to you and IF you have doubts that you'll regret it, then DON'T do it. The doubts are reason enough to change your mind.

As to your questions about how things are afterward, there are no changes. You still have the same hormonal effects as your ovaries are still functioning and intact.

Best wishes to you for great wisdom in making your decision,
B.

I had this done many years ago. I had two beautiful daughters and had lost 2 so with all the problems I was having I decided it best to have it done and not take any further chances of not carrying a baby full term. I was happy with my two children and was fine with that and knew at that point I truly did not want anymore. I did not regret the decision at all but I studied up on it, listened to all and did not make my decision until I knew that it was what I really wanted to do. It was a small incision and though I was very sore and had a hard time standing straight up for a couple of days it was all over with in about 3 - 4 days. I realize what others have said below and life does bring you changes, however I was ready and I also realized that no matter what life brought me my decision was mine only really even though I had the support of my husband. I knew that if anything happened to one of my children or if something happened to my marriage and I ended up divorced and married another man who may want children of his own that 1)you can never replace a child and 2) I would only be with a man who understood and there were no issues as far as I not being able to have other children otherwise he was not the man for me. As it turned out I ended up with severe female problems and at the age of 30 had to have a complete hysterectomy so at that point there was nothing I could do or regret and I did end up getting a divorce several years later but at that point in my life I was working and had a great career and my two children were great kids and I was very happy with myself and my life. I did remarry and I did find a wonderful man who had children of his own and didn't care if he had other children or not and loved me for me and loved my children. My children are now grown and off on their own and I have never looked back. It was the best thing I ever did for me but you have to truly think about it and know this is what you really want and realize that if your life changes are you going to want other children. Good Luck to you and I hope whatever decision you make it is your decision with your husband's and doctors support. Don't let anyone tell you how it should be or what they would do. You do what you feel is best for you and your family.Each of us are different and handle things differently and are confident with our decisions. Just realize once it is done it is done.

This is rare so... My mom had hers tied and burnt after my youngest brother (she had to the next child could have killed her) About 5 years later she ended up pregnant anyway (still not sure how) she miscarried at 3 months or so.... Just 5 years ago though she had developed gangreen (however its spelt =D) and almost died the doc said it was from the way the doc did the tubal ligation. She had to have everything removed. She regrets it somedays and others she is very happy she had it. She wanted another daughter (I am the oldest and only girl) She had me and my two brothers... Just think about it what if in 5 years you decided you want another? How would you feel knowing you couldn't have another baby? I promised my self I would rather have 8 kids then to have my tubes tide. I have two daughter we are on the rythm method (every bc fails for us no joke... doc said I was a rare case of no bc working prego on pill three times, 1 miscariage then after my youngest prego on mirana miscarried...) There are other ways, just think about it! Good luck-------Ash